Would this upset you?

[Amg120499]

Today is my dd (7) first day of school. We made plans with her best friend for me to drive them both today. We get to their house this morning and as my dd is knocking on the door, my cell phone rings. Turns out her friend decided to ride the bus instead.

Do I have a right to be mad? My poor dd started crying and couldn't stop. Not a great way to start the school year.

 

[sunnyday123]

I think they might have been able to call a tad earlier then when she was knocking on the door.....I would have said so in the phone call.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

What is done is done. I would try and downplay it with your dd and not get mad over it. She can ride the bus tomorrow with her friend. And believe me, all will be forgotten with the girls.

As the mother of an 18yo & almost 13yodd's, not worth it. You will have plenty of more "best friend" issues to come, yep. Best thing to do is to teach your child how to handle her disappointment with grace.

 

[KAMKIM]

I would be upset for my daughters sake, but kids change their minds so often I wouldn't give it a second thought.

Chances are they wont be friends tomorrow and will be calling each other on Friday.

A phone call the night before would have been nice though.

 

[java]

Who made the plans? The 7 year olds or the mom. Maybe the mom just heard about it today- wanting her daughter to ride the bus. First day and all seats get assigned ect.

Anyway sorry it was a stressful start to her first day- maybe plan an end of day surprise! Like a trip to get ice cream?

 

[Jennasis]

Mad? no. Sad for your kiddo? Sure. Maybe the other little girl had first day of school nerves and changed her mind, or maybe her mom changed her mind. Who knows. they're kids. Just try to downplay it with your DD and make the day extra special later.

 

[RadioNate]

The only thing that would be miff worthy in my book is that the mom didn't call you until you were already there. She should have saved you the trouble and called as soon as she knew the DD was riding the bus.

I have a feeling this girl and her family forgot about the plan.

I'm sorry your DD is upset. But this is such a minor thing to be getting worked up over. She was disappointed yes, understandable. However, if she was crying so hard she couldn't stop over this, you might want to consider helping her to learn how to manage her disappointment.

 

[Amg120499]

Thanks for the replies. I am feeling better now. This girl has been dd's bff for 4 years and I spend alot of time with her family. We actually spent most of the day together yesterday and when we left at 7:30 last night, the plans were made.

I'm just feeling bad for her because of everything we have going on right now. Her father and I are getting divorced, we are moving out of the only home she's ever known next week and she really needs stability right now. She just really lost it when she was let down like that.

Thanks again!

 

[Mickey's Minion]

Today is my dd (7) first day of school. We made plans with her best friend for me to drive them both today. We get to their house this morning and as my dd is knocking on the door, my cell phone rings. Turns out her friend decided to ride the bus instead.

Do I have a right to be mad? My poor dd started crying and couldn't stop. Not a great way to start the school year.

new rule

The only thing that would be miff worthy in my book is that the mom didn't call you until you were already there. She should have saved you the trouble and called as soon as she knew the DD was riding the bus.

I have a feeling this girl and her family forgot about the plan.

I'm sorry your DD is upset. But this is such a minor thing to be getting worked up over. She was disappointed yes, understandable. However, if she was crying so hard she couldn't stop over this, you might want to consider helping her to learn how to manage her disappointment.

annoyed that the mother didn't call you before you left, absolutely.

upset - more sad for my daughter that she had one more disruption in her life.

mad - definitely not.

It was that little girl's first day too. She probably wanted the excitement of riding the bus.

Did you confirm the plans with the mother the day before? I am in a carpool and last minute changes are the norm. The first day of school is always different than the regular carpool due to the excitement of it.

I agree that this is a minor thing and definitely not something your daughter should have been crying so hard about. Did she not see her friend a few minutes later when she got to school?

Edited to add: although I can completely understand now that I read the OP's answer how a disappointment like this could be the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back.

Have you considered some counseling for your daughter to help her deal with all the stresses she is dealing with? That is quite a bit to deal with at 7. The school social worker might be able to give you some tips.

 

[vettechick99]

The mom should have made her daughter ride with you. The girl made a committment and needs to stick by it. It's bad manners to change plans like that, especially such last minute.

I'd be annoyed too.

 

[RadioNate]

Thanks for the replies. I am feeling better now. This girl has been dd's bff for 4 years and I spend alot of time with her family. We actually spent most of the day together yesterday and when we left at 7:30 last night, the plans were made.

I'm just feeling bad for her because of everything we have going on right now. Her father and I are getting divorced, we are moving out of the only home she's ever known next week and she really needs stability right now. She just really lost it when she was let down like that.

Thanks again!

This does slightly change my reply. I stand by the 'brush up on coping skills' message IF everything was normal but it isn't.

If you are close to this girls mother maybe you could confide in her that your daughter needs a bit of extra support right now.

new rule




annoyed that the mother didn't call you before you left, absolutely.

upset - more sad for my daughter that she had one more disruption in her life.

mad - definitely not.

It was that little girl's first day too. She probably wanted the excitement of riding the bus.

Did you confirm the plans with the mother the day before? I am in a carpool and last minute changes are the norm. The first day of school is always different than the regular carpool due to the excitement of it.

I agree that this is a minor thing and definitely not something your daughter should have been crying so hard about. Did she not see her friend a few minutes later when she got to school?

Edited to add: although I can completely understand now that I read the OP's answer how a disappointment like this could be the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back.

Have you considered some counseling for your daughter to help her deal with all the stresses she is dealing with? That is quite a bit to deal with at 7. The school social worker might be able to give you some tips.

I agree that this was the final straw for a girl under stress. I've BTDT at as a child and I remember all too well what your DD is going through. She needs to know that it is ok to be sad/scared/etc BUT she also needs to know that this isn't the end of the world. Giving her that strength now will serve her well for her entire life.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I would be upset with the mother.

The bus can be a pretty cool thing at that age. The girl's mother should have notified you of their change in plans.

For that--I do think you have a right to be upset as it was inconsiderate of them to not let you know.

For your daughter--just play it off in a positive way and keep the grown up talk (about them not letting you know) between the grown ups.

 

[Tinker74]

The mom should have made her daughter ride with you. The girl made a committment and needs to stick by it. It's bad manners to change plans like that, especially such last minute.

I'd be annoyed too.

I agree!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Thanks for the replies. I am feeling better now. This girl has been dd's bff for 4 years and I spend alot of time with her family. We actually spent most of the day together yesterday and when we left at 7:30 last night, the plans were made.

I'm just feeling bad for her because of everything we have going on right now. Her father and I are getting divorced, we are moving out of the only home she's ever known next week and she really needs stability right now. She just really lost it when she was let down like that.

Thanks again!

So is your dd riding the bus? If she is not going to be and your dd is moving I could see where she might have jumped ship.

Not a nice thing to do of course.

 

[SharpMomOfTwo]

I'd be sad for my daughter, and truthfully, I'd be mad at the mother for doing it. She knew of the plans, and if she wanted to change them, she should have called earlier. I guess some people only think of themselves.

 

[Amg120499]

So is your dd riding the bus? If she is not going to be and your dd is moving I could see where she might have jumped ship.

Not a nice thing to do of course.

My dd does not ride the bus. She is a car rider. Her friend is entitled to a bus, but her grandmother who gets her on and off the bus is having a hard time walking to the corner. Her mom asked if she could be a car rider with my dd this year and we were happy to help.

 

[kacaju]

My dd does not ride the bus. She is a car rider. Her friend is entitled to a bus, but her grandmother who gets her on and off the bus is having a hard time walking to the corner. Her mom asked if she could be a car rider with my dd this year and we were happy to help.

If you made arrangements with the mother for you to drive her kid everyday, then yes, you have the *right* to be mad at the othe rmom for letting her ride the bus. What will happen tomorrow? You need to talk to that mom and be sure you are both on the same page from now on.
As far as that kid, if she took the bus last year, maybe she woke up sad about the thought of NOT riding the bus...after all at age 7 she is still young enough not to realize that hse hurt your dd, I doubt she did it on purpose.
As far as your dd, I am sorry she is gonig through so much right now. Where are you moving too? Will you still be able to drive this other girl?