Would This Offend You?

[nblake05]

Nb you 2 have a good heart and thats what counts. Am I right in thinking that as you mentioned as a little girl you didn't have much money so perhaps when you saw the little girl it brought you back to the past; except now you had the resources to do something about it?

That is it exactly! I've been the recipient of so much kindness and generosity of spirit, I just like to pass it on. I see a little one getting yelled at WDW and I want to cry! I see a child looking longingly at something and I want to give it to them. Because I WAS that kid getting yelled at, and I was that kid whose parents couldn't afford the extras (although, there isn't anything wrong with that). I am finally in position to be able to make those occasional gestures and I'm just so grateful, I want to pay it forward!
Also, just for the record... I wouldn't dream of giving away a food item (I do know better than that) and it was just the little girl. I wouldn't intentionally leave out siblings! I know how that feels too (DB got to kiss Shamu and I have never gotten over it!)

I do think its interesting how the responsed are so split.

 

[rn4val]

When my son was small he is 27 now a nice man made a balloon sword for him while we were waiting for a parade. We even took it home on the plane. He still remembers it. Thank you wherever you are for making some extra magic for my son

 

[Andrew78]

That is it exactly! I've been the recipient of so much kindness and generosity of spirit, I just like to pass it on. I see a little one getting yelled at WDW and I want to cry! I see a child looking longingly at something and I want to give it to them. Because I WAS that kid getting yelled at, and I was that kid whose parents couldn't afford the extras (although, there isn't anything wrong with that). I am finally in position to be able to make those occasional gestures and I'm just so grateful, I want to pay it forward!
Also, just for the record... I wouldn't dream of giving away a food item (I do know better than that) and it was just the little girl. I wouldn't intentionally leave out siblings! I know how that feels too (DB got to kiss Shamu and I have never gotten over it!)

I do think its interesting how the responsed are so split.

There isn't a right or wrong answer with these situations.The reason I asked you that question is because I think a lot of time people feel that because of how they grow up that automatically somebody else in a similar siutaion who they identify with must be hurting too, and a lot if times that isn't the case. Then the question has to be asked did you do it for her, or did you do it for your own issues you had when things weren't so great growing up.

But noone was hurt and granny was ok, and a little girl received a balloon. You guys will make good parents as it takes compassion to want to see a child smile. And you better buy my boys ice cream along with the balloons-2 because they are twins, jk good luck to you

To Everyone else she has a good heart, so be nice to NBlake

 

[starshine514]

I'd have been grateful. My girls also have been the recipients of claw-machine wins (once when DD6 (then 4) tried to win with her quarter and failed, somebody walked up to her and handed her one they had won earlier - she was thrilled). A CM at Disneyland also gave each of them a pin to start a pin collection! Even if I don't really want them to have the item, I'm grateful that the person thought enough of my girls to want to give them something.

 

[QVCshopper]

That is it exactly! I've been the recipient of so much kindness and generosity of spirit, I just like to pass it on. I see a little one getting yelled at WDW and I want to cry! I see a child looking longingly at something and I want to give it to them. Because I WAS that kid getting yelled at, and I was that kid whose parents couldn't afford the extras (although, there isn't anything wrong with that). I am finally in position to be able to make those occasional gestures and I'm just so grateful, I want to pay it forward!

Sorry to chime in again, but it sounds like we both grew up poor. Instead of passing on to random people who may or may not need help, we donate a significant amount to the local community center. That way, I know we are helping children in our community. I remember getting food and clothes from our local food bank.

Chances are the kids in Disney World are better off than most; afterall, a ticket costs $75+. I never went to Disney until my honeymoon. The kids who get help from the local community center we support may never get there, but at least they will have food, shelter, and hopefully their parents' love. I can understand the random acts of kindness, but I choose to be more direct with my giving and go straight to the place (like United Way) that can use it most.

About getting yelled at, etc. I'm a mom of two kids who I love so much. And I've yelled a few times (or more); I'm sure many parents have because kids just don't listen sometimes. But, since two young kids in my community have fallen quite ill with cancer--probably terminal, I try not to really really hard. And, I never insult or hit (but, boy did my dad!). But, since you're not yet a parent, you may not understand the ups and downs. It's an amazing experience, but it's also exhausting at times, and I'm human.

And, as far as kids begging, oh my GOD, come spend a day in my shoes. My kids have everything and more than they need. They have each been to Disney 10 times, and they are 5 & 6. But, you can bet that they BEG to go to Five Below to get a toy, BEG in the food store for candy, just BEG. As a parent, I have to tell them no sometimes. I have to set boundaries. Otherwise, I'd be living an episode of hoarders with toys everywhere and kids who expect everything handed to them. That said, they each get $25 to spend in Disney as they wish, plus many snack treats from the dining plan. To me, that's plenty.

Actually, I'd like to be one of my kids. They have it pretty good, compared to my childhood.

 

[shaylyn]

Balloons are $10 each??!!

I'd be out SIXTY BUCKS just buying each of my kids a balloon

 

[mom to 3 angels]

Sometimes, you can spread pixie dust without spending a dime. On our last trip in '09, I had picked up a small container of green glitter and kept it in my pocket. My original intent was to sprinkle my 2 daughters when they began arguing. But I saw an opportunity to spread the pixie dust while taking a break outside of RNR. We were sitting in the shade and had gotten some drinks. While we were sitting there, a small girl (about 4) and her dad had gotten in line, and the little girl was not very happy. So, I approached, asked dad if it were okay if I talked to her, and stooped down. I told her I had just talked to my friend, Tinkerbell, and she asked me to keep an eye out for little princesses. I gave her a brief little story, and said Tinkerbell gave me a gift to share with her, and sprinkled "Tinkerbell's Pixie Dust" on her. As I walked away, dad thanked me, and the little girl was smiling! It really warmed my heart! We are planning a trip next year, and I think I will take my glitter with me again.

As a parent, I wouldn't have had a problem with your gift. But I would just ask the adult first. It saves any hard feelings, on either side. You have a huge, generous heart. You are truly a fairy!

 

[KJMAX1]

If someone brought my kid a balloon, Id accept it with gratitude. My kids have been given things or purchased things by other people before without my permission. At the point where its given to my child, its not about my child, its about the giver. If it makes someone happy, and filled with joy to see my child hold a balloon at Disney, then so be it.

I get the gifts from strangers, but you know, my kids have been given things often by well meaning adults, and I always tell the kids as long as mom and dad are present, then its okay to talk to an adult, or be given something with permission.

Shoot, when my kids slipped at Disney and got a black eye, we were thrilled when they gave us all free ice creams!

 

[jacksmom]

It sounds like you really meant well and I am glad it turned out well for you! But, in all honesty I try to teach my kids that nothing in life is free (no pun intended here) and that we all have to work for things! I engage my kids fully in trip planning and explain fully about budgeting for extras! I give them opportunities to make extra spending money and help/encourage them to save! They both (5 and 14) are in charge of their money and I do let them buy what they want, but do encourage wise spending! I would not have bought a balloon for $10. not because I couldn't, but because I know it would be an impulse buy that was easily forgotten about! I think it is important to teach kids about budgeting, planning, saving and spending wisely! As a parent I would really prefer not to have someone else buy a costly item for my kids without my permission!

 

[gymboqueenkaylee]

I think it's a very sweet gesture and I am sure your husband made that childs day. I would not be annoyed by it at all, unless it was food and I wasn't asked first. I had a similar thing happen to me at a Disney on Ice event not too long ago. We were entering the arena and my daughter saw those 20.00 snow cones and I was NOT about to pay for that. Yes, I could afford it, but I knew she would want something else later. There was a really sweet military guy, mid 20's, dressed out in his miliary fatigues in front of us. He must have heard me tell my daughter no because he turned around and said, "do you mind if I purchase your daughter the snow cone. I just came back from Iraq and I am just grateful to be home." Tears welled up in my eyes, how could I tell him no. I let him and it so made her trip to the show. I think I cried about half of the show because of how sweet that guy was. Now, I always look for a military family and do something nice for them every now and again.

 

[bumbershoot]

grandma said no, that they had just gotten there and she didn't want to buy something that was going to get lost so soon.

That's a pretty specific reason. And it has nothing to do with money, or that she won't get souvenirs at all, etc. It's just "not now".

So I would not have done what you did.

Might be staying at Animal Kingdom Lodge -- I think balloons are not allowed there.

Exactly.

So first you are determining the reason, then you're asking the parents (you SHOULD be asking the parents), then you're making sure they'll be able to keep it even through the evening when they go back to the hotel...

It gets complicated.

I see a little one getting yelled at WDW and I want to cry! I see a child looking longingly at something and I want to give it to them.

And those aren't *bad* things to feel. But you have NO IDEA what is actually going on.

My son will hold a brand new toy in his hand, purchased not 5 minutes before, and will look at something else and beg for it like he's never gotten anything before.

If you walk by and don't see the other toy, you will think "oh poor thing", when it's actually just normal kid stuff combined with having a father who, like you, didn't get souvenirs and wants to give everything (hubby also wants to get everything for himself!) to DS.

And yelling...sometimes kids need to be talked to about their behaviour. Sometimes that happens even at Disney. Sometimes parents have been talking nicely for hours and hours and explaining and using all their words and being absolutely perfect and their kids just keeps going and going and going and...you walk by just as the perfect parent has a mini-explosion to try to get through to the kid who has been pushing the limits for hours.

Yes yes there are abusers anywhere. But one yelling parent does NOT make them an abuser. You just have no idea.



I wouldn't be *offended*. I wouldn't shove it back in your face. I would almost certainly say "no" if you asked me if DS could have a balloon.

I cannot stand the reality of balloons at Disney. I love the *idea*. Oh they are SO pretty. Do they still have the lightup ones? I love seeing those.

But a parent is the one that ends up taking care of it all day. A parent is the one that has to hope the silly thing is still on the stroller when you get out of a ride, or has to figure out where on earth it's going to go if you don't have a stroller. A parent has to figure out how they can, or IF they can, get it out of the tree that it floated into when the kid let go of it after taking off the balloon weight (that one happened to us at Disneyland not 24 hours after buying the thing OVER my strongly worded wishes).

It's a fun little thing for about 5 minutes for the kid, and the rest of the day/vacation it's on the parents' head.


So I wouldn't be offended, but I wouldn't want you to offer it to my family.


Glow sticks, however, those are lovely. Especially if the person giving them out has already cracked them to make sure they work. I got some duds one year, gave them un-cracked to some kids hanging out waiting for Fantasmic, and 5 minutes later noticed that they weren't glowing...I felt SO embarrassed! Made sure to crack them before giving them after that.

 

[Allison]

With your specific situation, I would have been annoyed.

I would not have liked someone listening to my conversation, hearing me say no and then giving my child something I had said they couldn't have.

I would feel differently about it if you were handing out something randomly like glowsticks to kids waiting for a parade but to specifically give them something I said no to would be a problem for me.

 

[mdsoccermom]

On our last trip, we did something that I still think about. While waiting for the parade in the MK we overheard the little girl next to us ask her grandma for a balloon. grandma said no, that they had just gotten there and she didn't want to buy something that was going to get lost so soon. With balloon prices starting at $10 a pop, I can understand that. So my husband pretended like he was going to buy me a balloon and asked the girl which one she thought he should get. Then we gave it to her and told her to have fun at WDW. The little girl was thrilled and grandma was appreciative. You never know, maybe one day that little girl will return to WDW all grown up and do something nice for someone, too! We'd love to do something similar on our next trip if the situation presents itself. My question is, as a parent, would you be offened by something like that? It's just that we realize that going to WDW is an expensive trip for a family, and as a little girl my family didn't have a lot of money, so I would NEVER even ask for a souvenier. So, I would like to do something nice for another little kid. Would a parent get mad at this? Where are the bounderies here? As a non-parent, I just don't know...

Offended? No. Annoyed? Yes.

If I say no to my kids, for whatever reason, it means no. It is not up to you, your husband, or anyone else to determine if my reason was valid and challenge it.

If someone did that to me, I would have embarrassed you and said "No, thank you."

The boundaries are clear. A family had a discussion and the grandmother said no. You crossed the boundary when you made it your business.

I can understand what you're saying. However, having been there and hearing their conversation and chatting with them we got the disticnt impression Grandma wasn't saying no because she did'n WANT the child to have it. It would have been different if grandma said no because it was a dicipline thing like, "No, you haven't been listening to Grandma today. Maybe later if you're a good girl." Had that been the vien of the conversation, we definately wouldn't interfere.

The grandmother gave her reason. Again, it wasn't for you to determine the validity of it, the grandmother's motives, etc.

I simply do not understand what it is about WDW that makes people lose all common sense. Just because you are at Disney doesn't make everyone else your business.

 

[dragonfly08]

Offended? No. Annoyed? Yes.

If I say no to my kids, for whatever reason, it means no. It is not up to you, your husband, or anyone else to determine if my reason was valid and challenge it.

This.

I understand that the OP meant well, and I'm all for pixie dust. But it shouldn't be something that contradicts what I as a parent tell my children. It was one thing for a CM to give DD a free Mickey Bar on her birthday trip when I took her up to the cart to buy her one. It would have been something else entirely for him to just walk up to her out of the blue and hand her the bar not knowing if I wanted/would allow her to have it.

I would tell my kids a $10 balloon wasn't in our budget. And believe me, I could afford plenty of $10 balloons if I *wanted* to. The point is I try very hard to teach my DDs the value of a dollar, and how to make informed choices about spending money. If I said no, then some stranger suddenly handed them one, it would completely undermine my message never mind the whole "taking things from strangers" bit I try to instill in them. I would have been put in the position of either going against my beliefs and allowing the kids to take the balloon, or being the "mean mommy" who says thanks but no thanks and denies them. And I'd have been upset either way.

 

[GinnyEmma]

With your specific situation, I would have been annoyed.

I would not have liked someone listening to my conversation, hearing me say no and then giving my child something I had said they couldn't have.

I would feel differently about it if you were handing out something randomly like glowsticks to kids waiting for a parade but to specifically give them something I said no to would be a problem for me.

exactly. I've given pins away but I always ask the parent first quietly.

 

[DPK400]

At the time, I probably would have been semi annoyed. I would have gotten over that in about 2 minutes because I would have realized that sometimes you just enjoy life and the time we have together because you never know what will happen tomorrow. You did a really nice thing regardless of what anyone here says. It was done with a giving spirit.

 

[Jessica14]

I think your intent was very nice, especially with so many people being rude in public places. If I had been in the grandmother's place, I would have been gracious and recognized the good deed and intention, but privately wouldn't have been too pleased.

There are many reasons I tell my kids no to something that may not be apparent to onlookers. It's not up to someone else to decide if my reasons are valid or not or what they may "really" be about. For us, we don't get balloons because we have pets and it doesn't really work out to well with them. When someone offers them, like in Trader Joe's, we polietly decline. I wouldn't want someone to give my children one anyway.

Don't let this discourage you from doing good deeds. Just ask the parents first.
Jessica

 

[declansdad]

I remember my parents taking me to a circus when I was probably 5 or 6 and having something similar happen. I wanted something and was very whiiny about getting it. My parents kept saying no and I kept asking. (My parents didn't have a lot of money and taking us to the circus was most likely a big expense for them.) In the end the man sitting in front of us bough it and gave it to me.

Many years later I can still recall this and realize how this must have embarrased my parents. So yes I would be annoyed and offended if someone did this.

 

[Nanu57v]

At the time, I probably would have been semi annoyed. I would have gotten over that in about 2 minutes because I would have realized that sometimes you just enjoy life and the time we have together because you never know what will happen tomorrow. You did a really nice thing regardless of what anyone here says. It was done with a giving spirit.

I also think that if the grandmother was going to be offended/annoyed, she wouldn't have let the girl participate in your helping to pick out the balloon.

When we were at HS this last trip there was this parent swinging at his 9 year old daughter. I'm not exaggerating. I didn't see what she did, but she ran away after she did it and the dad kept yelling at her to come back. She was scared. And when she finally did come back, the dad acted like he was going to hit her in the head with the toy gun he was holding. She flinched and ran away. When she returned after more yelling, he acted like he was going to punch her in the head. After one more repeat, they left the line we were in. I was ready to call 9-1-1 if he actually punched her, but I worry about what happened after they were out of public eye. The other parents in the line felt the same way that I did (they were chatting about it) but someone said, "Its none of your business how people discipline their children." I thought it was, because I care about the kids. I mention this because I see a slight parallel...I care about the kids...would've bought a balloon, "that person" would've said No way.

 

[Metsfan520]

With your specific situation, I would have been annoyed.

I would not have liked someone listening to my conversation, hearing me say no and then giving my child something I had said they couldn't have.

I would feel differently about it if you were handing out something randomly like glowsticks to kids waiting for a parade but to specifically give them something I said no to would be a problem for me.

My thoughts exactly. I do think your heart was in the right place, but if I were the parent/grandparent in that situation, I wouldn't be happy. and honestly, I'd probably give the balloon (or whatever) back to you.