Would this have offended you?

[laurie31]

It's possible that she judged you because of your race and/or age.

It's possible that she judged you because of what you were buying.

It's possible that she caught a glimpse of your card and thought it looked like a food stamp card.

It's possible that her last three orders were paid for with food stamps, so she was just in that frame of thinking.


No matter WHY she assumed what she did, she should never have spoken her thoughts aloud (thus proving once again what happens when one ASSumes).

From your description of the event, it didn't seem she was rude or disrespectful to you in any other way, and she seemed embarrassed about her mistake, so I would not be offended. Hopefully she'll remember to keep such thoughts to herself next time, though.

 

[TwinsinCA]

I had something similar happen to me once. I was stocking up on baby formula because it was on sale. And that is pretty much all I bought. The checkout lady asked if I'd be using WIC to pay for it. It took me off guard, but I wasn't really offended.

 

[tink_n_pooh]

I bet it was nothing, maybe a wrong button was hit on either the EFT or the computer, and it started to go through as FS? That happens a lot at my store.

That is exactly what I was thinking, its very easy to hit the wrong button, I've done it myself.

 

[Katy Belle]

This happened to me about 9 years ago! We had just moved to a small town in Louisiana. I'd had a hard day with my 2 little ones, ages 6 months and 2 1/2, both had bronchitis, etc. When DH finally got home I drug myself to the store. When I went to pay she said, "Oh I thought you were using Food Stamps." I asked why??? She said "because usually people buying milk, cheese, and fruit use food stamps." Funny, but slightly offending. I wasn't dressed very well at the moment...old t-shirt and jeans, and it was late-ish in the evening, could have contributed.

 

[bumbershoot]

Don't forget steaks for their dogs!


I have never witnessed this, but according to the Dis....

I had an ex-boyfriend who decided that he could be on food stamps (and the state of SC agreed), and used it to buy lamb and brown rice for his two big dogs, because they deserved it. He and I made the exact same amount (students in grad school both with work-study jobs at the school, getting loans), but he chose to use money buy buying dogs and illegal things, and decided to go for the food stamps to make it easier on himself to feed the animals. (he did NOT have the dogs before starting school, he got them after...and then didn't fix them, let them hang out together at the WRONG time because he thought dogs cycle exactly like humans cycle, and boom, puppies...but that was well after we had broken up partially b/c he was tired of me harping on him to keep the female away from the male!)

It's possible that she judged you because of your race and/or age.

It's possible that she judged you because of what you were buying.

It's possible that she caught a glimpse of your card and thought it looked like a food stamp card.

It's possible that her last three orders were paid for with food stamps, so she was just in that frame of thinking.


No matter WHY she assumed what she did, she should never have spoken her thoughts aloud (thus proving once again what happens when one ASSumes).

From your description of the event, it didn't seem she was rude or disrespectful to you in any other way, and she seemed embarrassed about her mistake, so I would not be offended. Hopefully she'll remember to keep such thoughts to herself next time, though.

I agree with all of that.


But really, she probably had just seen a ton of food stamps users go by, and just went on autopilot mode.

 

[Tink888]

It was a stupid thing for her to say but I wouldn't have been offended. She just sounds like an idiot.

 

[Missy1961]

No.

 

[Soarin08]

But really, she probably had just seen a ton of food stamps users go by, and just went on autopilot mode.

My sister works at a small grocery store and says that probably 3/4 of the people who shop there use food stamps. The cashier was probably used to seeing them and wasn't thinking.

I wouldn't be offended. I have more to worry about than that, if it would have been me.

 

[mvazul]

While I agree she should have kept her comment to herself, I believe people choose to be offended. You said you weren't offended when it happened. Why be offended now?

Sounds to me like a case of open mouth, insert foot. I happen to be a pro at that. I would let it go.

Michelle

 

[MIGrandma]

It would have bothered me that she made a comment like that out loud.

She can think what she wants, but as a cashier dealing with all types of people she should keep that kind of an opinion to herself.

 

[JPN4265]

Here's the scenario:

DH and I went to the market earlier. We're in the check-out line, spent about $200. DH is bagging while I'm finishing up using the card machine thingee (LOL). I'm using debit.....

Cashier: (staring at the register looking confused) $15 change?

Me: Yeah, I'm getting $15 cash back. I'm using debit.

Cashier: (now laughing, I guess at herself) Oh, I'm sorry! I assumed you was using food stamps!

DH: What would make you assume that?

Cashier: Um, no, no reason just.........(awkward silence)

Me: (awkwardly laughing)Don't worry 'bout it. Thank you! (grabbing my receipt) Have a good one!

I just brushed it off. It was nothing to me. DH thought I should be offended because I guess he figured she only assumed that because we are a young black couple? I don't know. It wasn't that deep to me. I mean, I don't know what made her automatically say that but, whatever. Should I have been offended?

My thought, she was just having a brain fart.

 

[Shmily1]

No, you should not be offended. I use to work in the grocery store for over 7 years and I believe she was judging by how much you had purchased, not by who you were. From working in this before, most people that buy large dollar amounts of groceries are paying with stamps. This is not to say that all large purchases are with stamps because that's not so, but it is usually so. Also, I believe the stamps still come out staggered sometime around the 7th to the 15th so that is prime time to see the large purchases. She's probably seen 10 huge orders in that one day making her assume you were doing the same thing.

 

[5lilfish]

I had a grocery cashier once INSIST that I could get WIC. I was a little taken back by it. It wasn't the most tactful thing to say (just a little out-of-line to say to a stranger), but I guess she was trying to be helpful.

I've also had a car salesman tell me and DH to just look around the lot and find an employee if we had any questions (he was definitely assuming we wouldn't be able to make a purchase). We had enough to pay cash and we did let him know that he lost a sale when we bought the car from one of his co-workers. There was NO doubt that he was being snotty and judging us by how we looked.

I don't know how the cashier said it (tone/expression). You could let it go or you could make a comment to the store manager. It definitely was an inappropriate thing for a cashier to say to any customer. My reaction would probably depend a lot on tone and expression. If I felt that the cashier made the comment because she honestly thought you had food stamps (be it a flag on your CC, or a button that she thought was hit), I'd let it go. If you really feel she was saying that because of your appearance, I would be much more tempted to make a comment.

Jess

 

[5lilfish]

No, you should not be offended. I use to work in the grocery store for over 7 years and I believe she was judging by how much you had purchased, not by who you were. From working in this before, most people that buy large dollar amounts of groceries are paying with stamps. This is not to say that all large purchases are with stamps because that's not so, but it is usually so. Also, I believe the stamps still come out staggered sometime around the 7th to the 15th so that is prime time to see the large purchases. She's probably seen 10 huge orders in that one day making her assume you were doing the same thing.

See, if that was the reason, then I would be upset. She shouldn't be making those types of judgements at all....and if she did, she should keep them to herself.

Jess

 

[agnes!]

I was once participating in a fashion show that a local charity runs out of their thrift store. Women from our church would go and pick out some outfits and model them at a fund-raising luncheon.

When I was going to check-out, one of the cashiers asked if I had my homeless voucher.

agnes!

 

[mtemm]

I wouldn't be. of course, I believe people do make assumptions/judgements based on their experience, and I'm not all that offended by them usually. not big ones, but small ones. maybe she had had a lot of people using food stamps that day. maybe the amount you spent/what you were buying is typical of what she sees from people who use food stamps. I think a lot more people are using food stamps these days in general, so maybe you were on of the few people she had that day that weren't using them. who knows.

now, all that said, I'm still scratching my head over an experience I had at a grocery store I rarely go to. It was about a year ago and I had to run in and buy just a handful of items (family of 5, usually I have a large order). this is a store that has the baggers take the stuff to your car for you, so she asked me as we were walking out if I was a mini-van or pt cruiser. lol. I just stared at her and she asked again. finally I mumbled, mini-van. apparently I look like a mini-van or pt cruiser driver. it was just so random it still makes me laugh.

 

[luvmy3]

Sounds like she was on autopilot, snapped out of it and was laughing more at herself than you. I remember my monotnous retail cashier days, it happens alot.

 

[5lilfish]

Sounds like she was on autopilot, snapped out of it and was laughing more at herself than you. I remember my monotnous retail cashier days, it happens alot.

If that is the case, and this is where hearing the tone and seeing the expression makes all the difference, then I would not be offended and I would just let it go.

I can see how that could happen too. Sort of like saying, "Are plastic bags ok," to a customer that is handing you their reusable canvas bags. It's such a habit that when you say it 100 times a day it just comes out.

Jess

 

[WDWRocksMySocks]

I'm more offended by the use of poor grammar.

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

Well, it was an ignorant thing to say.

However, your DH's question of why would she think that, may (and stress on the MAY) have taught her something, so some good could have come from it.

I was explaining why my wife and I had taken in a relative's child to care for "until he gets out of..." and before I could say Navy, a nurse who was listening said, "jail?"

I was instantly offended and did my very best Miss Manners impersonation, "Perhaps in your world, Dear. Definintely not in mine." I then went on to say, "Navy."

She got the point, and so did everyone else, eh?

So, all that to say, your DH did the same sort of reorienting statement. People all too often forget when dealing with others to look beyond their narrow reference.