Would this bother you?

[Mskanga]

I took my dd to the doctor today because she has had a persistent cough for 2-3 days today.
I got in the office and the doctor asked if she had any fever or sore throat, she said no. Then I told him that I was concerned because she gets bronchitis so easily that I didn't want that to get worse. His comment right after that is I will decide that . Then he goes on to ask me how do I know she has bronchitis? I said I never said she had bronchitis, only that I was concerned, then he says oh yeah, if you knew she had bronchitis, you wouldn't be here.
This is one of the doctors I had never seen before in the practice and I heard him say to another patient before he came into our room that they should remember doctors are human beings.
I do not know if he was having a bad day because he was the only one there and he was wayyyy behind, but I must say his comments really bothered me. Am I oversensitive about this? I know he's the doctor but I am my child's mother and I know how sick she can get and how she starts every time.

 

[Pugdog007]

Sounds like an arrogant jerk to me.

 

[nativetxn]

I've had doctors tell me to let <i>them</i> make the diagnosis. It doesn't bother me anymore, they always make the same diagnosis I do

 

[ADisneygirl]

If I was spoken to that way at the doctors' I would be upset. Granted, he may have been having a bad day. We all have those, and if you are feeling generous then chalk it up to that and forgive and forget. If I had to see him another time and found his demeanor to be rude and abrasive again, then I would tell him so and walk right out.

 

[Disney Doll]

Sounds pretty arrogant ot me too.

If eh is not the "senior" partner in the practice, I would probably call the "senior" partner and mention that his behavior was less than professional.

Of course, I'd have also had it out with him right there, because stuff like that gets under my skin big time.

 

[dumboiu]

Originally posted by Mskanga
I know he's the doctor but I am my child's mother and I know how sick she can get and how she starts every time.

He may be the doctor........but that is only a job. You are the mother and it is your life. He should look for a new profession if this is how he acts.
Mommy is more important than doctor any day.

To answer your question, YES it would bother me. I would look for a new doctor ASAP!

Hope your llittle one feels better soon.

 

[Beanie]

I would also be upset if my child's doctor spoke to me like that! Yikes, sounds like a bad day for him!!

Hugs, Sis!!

 

[Mskanga]

Well the thing is that he's not the regular doctor, but there was nobody else on call today so we had to see him. Usually I don't have a problem on who we see , but I had never experienced a visit like the one today.
I am going to see our doctor next wednesday and I will mention this to him, I don't know if we will be able to do anything about it but at least I will find out.
I will definetely not see him again unless it's another case like today, nobody else on call , but I guarantee that if he talks to me like that again, that time I will react.

 

[gr8tpanther]

OK, see, if you take your kids or yourself to the DR and tell them what is wrong with you, lol, I think they get offended! Because I just had a battle with MY Dr about my DDs TOE, I said ingrown, he said no, I was right he was wrong and she suffered.

It was told to me once that YOU know your child better than ANYONE else, and if your gut says something is wrong and someone (Dr) says otherwise, you might want to get a second opinion.

 

[poohandwendy]

Yes, it would bother me and I wouldn't make any more appts with him. Doctors are not gods but for some reason many people put up with lack of courtesy from them. During a office visit (especially a first time), if a doctor cannot put aside whatever issues they are dealing with and at least be courteous with me, I do not believe they are the right doctor for me and I will not return.

I am a manicurist, noone would put up with my copping an attitude, especially after making them wait because I was behind schedule. There is NO excuse for a doctor to believe they should be above extending the same professional attitude that any other service person is expected to exhibit. I am sure they put up with alot, we all do, they chose their career.

 

[luckywife]

It would bother me big time if any doctor ever spoke to me like that. We changed doctor's for our children because I got tired of the one we were taking him to acting like I was a fool when I tried to tell him what I thought was wrong with DS. He told me that he wasn't "sick", that all of his symptoms were caused from asthma. I had him back in his office less than 24 hours later and guess what? He had pneumonia! He told me to take him over to the hospital to get a chest x-ray for him. I asked him if he thought he could have pneumonia again (he had it back in May.) You'll never believe what he told me. He said he couldn't have it because he wasn't running a fever. When I got out to the car and looked at the slip he wrote out that I had to give to the lady at the outpatient check in, guess what the note said?? FEVER/COUGH It took a second for it to register...didn't he just tell me that DS couldn't have pneumonia because he didn't have a fever?! Needless to say, we have another doctor for both our DS's now.

 

[Tiiiigergirl]

There is a doctor at our family practice that we refuse to see. She is horribly rude. If anyone in our family is sick and she is the only one available then we evaluate. If we can't wait, then we go to the ER. I had a spinal tap and could not get ahold of my neuro. I went to see her because my regular doctor was out of the office and she was covering for him. She correctly diagnosed the problem (I was leaking spinal fluid several days later) and needed a blood patch.

BUT, she refused to call in the order! She knew what the problem was and refused to do it. I tried to get a hold of the administrator for the facility and nothing was done. Some of these doctors think they are Diety and they are nothing more than arrogant jerks who want to pull rank. A day later my neuro ordered the blood patch!

 

[Mskanga]

Every now and then the practice sends surveys out for patients to fill out, I hope I will get one this time.
I just did not like his comments one bit , no I am not a doctor but I know my child enough to know when she is sick and how she starts, I have seen the process way too many times.
For her postnasal drip means bronchitis is right around the corner, her regular doctor knows.
I have the same doctor the kids have and he always tells me , better safe than sorry.
BTW we waited for TWO HOURS to see the doctor today, if he thinks I just went down there to waste two hours just because I had nothing better to do , he couldn't be further from the truth.

 

[Jenn Lynn]

My DH is not an MD, but I don't think any Doctor should be talking to a patient that way. If a Doctor has a bad bedside manner that patient can go to the Doctor next door who will treat you better. Not a good way to build a practice AND a good reputation/referral business.

DH says that patients will tell him what is wrong and what needs to be done. Some times they are right, some times they are not.

I said it is like him going into the mechanic and saying "I think it's the spark plugs." Could be the spark plugs, could be something that sounded like the last bad spark plugs.

 

[MELSMICE]

The Dr. shouldn't have spoken to you that way - bad day or not. If he was having a bad day he should have taken a deep breath if he was annoyed with you - which he shouldn't have been - you are her mom!

I have been through the same thing as you. When my twin DD's were younger (preschool through about 2nd or 3rd grade) one of them would get a cold & if it wasn't treated immediately it would then turn into bronchitis & if the meds didn't fight the bronchitis good enough it turned to pneumonia. We went through this 3 or 4 times in a few years. I ended up always doing the same thing as you - taking her to the Dr. when a sniffle would start & would say the same thing as you did. Luckily each Dr. in our practice was familiar with her history. For 2 years she was on albuterol every day throughout the winter - when she had a cold she even had to do it in school.

We finally found out that my DD has asthma. Ever since she was diagnosed & has been on the proper meds she has been doing much better - she is 12 now. I try not to keep her dependent on the inhalers, especially during the summer months, but in the winter, as soon a sniffle starts, I remind her to do her meds religiously. When she starts coughing a lot she uses her albuterol - it is only her rescue inhaler now.

You may want to talk with her regular Dr. about the possibility of asthma. We don't make it into a big deal with my daughter - it doesn't stop her from doing anything at all. She dances & she's a swimmer. She's not as fast as others when she swims, but she enjoys it & that's what matters IMO!

Good luck!

 

[Mermaid02]

There is one pediatrician in our practice I will not see- He said to a friend of mine..."I am the doctor you are the mother, I will tell you what's wrong"

He is arrogant and frankly he is mediocre.

 

[powellrj]

I have 3 children ranging in age from 21 - 8, needless to say I have seen many ear infections over the years and can usually tell when they are starting. When my youngest was a few months old I knew the signs and called the Dr. Our Dr. was out of the office so I had to see someone different. He walked in and asked what the problem was and I told him that she was getting an ear infection, to which he looked at me and with ice dripping from his voice asked which medical school I went to to come to this conclusion. I said after 3 kids I knew the signs pretty well. He just humpfs and said we'll see. Guess what, she had an ear infection. Needless to say he didn't say a word other than to say she had an ear infection and wrote a prescription out and handed me an instruction sheet. The Dr. left the practice several months later and I have to say I wasn't surprised. I am sorry that you were treated like that and I always have to ask myself how they would feel if it were their wife that was treated like that.

 

[Micca]

The attitude of doctors and the people who work in their offices is a sore subject with me. I figure that any patient in a doctor's office is not having one of their best days. Why anyone there from the top doc on down to the receptionist wouldn't treat each and every patient with a kindness and empathy is beyond me. I always say something to the effect of "...I wondered if it could be X or Y, what do you think?" My doc takes the collaborative route (even if what I've suggested is just ridiculous) and then presents his opinion.

 

[Mskanga]

Melsmice;
Funny that you mention asthma, this is something I want to discuss with the doctor now because ten years ago the old doctor suspected she could be borderline asthmatic but no tests were ever performed because she was fine in the summer.
In the last couple of years she is suffering a lot more from allergies and in the winter she has been put on claritin daily for the entire winter season, last year actually the doctor was dumbfounded with one of the ear infections that she got really bad, it took four different medications to get rid of it, the first three did not work and every two weeks I was back in the office with the same ear infection. Her doctor was shocked that nothing was working , at one point he said that if it wasn't because he knows me, he would think I didn't give her the medications.
I am not saying that she has asthma but there's a big potential for it , besides that it runs on both sides of the family. At this point I want her tested, if she has it I want it documented and if she doesn't then great.
On the other hand, I took my youngest to the same practice but with another doctor a couple of weeks ago when she had the same thing and that doctor ( again not her regular one ) even gave me a prescription in case she needed it since her throat was slightly red. It turned out she didn't need it, but I still have the prescription.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I agree with the poster who said that you should write a note to the administrator of the practice to complain. I'm sure they get lots of complaints about this guy and the more they get the more ammunition they have to get him out of there. (Speaking with your own doctor probably won't help much).

Had this happened to me (in the way you described it) I would have let the visit continue to get my child what he needed, then afterward I would have hauled this guys butt back into the room where we would have had a word *alone*. I would tell him that I realize he sees a lot of things that frustrate him, but that he has no right to speak to me in that tone and I would be reporting this as soon as I got home. Done. IMO having a screaming match with him (and therefore being seen as "hysterical") or waiting until next time would not make as much of an impact. If everyone called people like this on their rude behavior in a calm and serious manner the offender has no choice but to listen - really listen - and know you mean business. Of course that's just me - but for me it's proven *very* effective on many occasions (both in work and with my own health care group, though there I've only had to resort to this once, thankfully they've been great).