Would this bother you

[taximomfor4]

Right now, we have to discuss whether we have $40 to spend on something that comes up...I ticket would cost more than that, for sure...so I'd be mad I wasn't told. I would need time to find the $ in the budget!

 

[Evil Genius]

As long as he paid it on time. Nope, it wouldn't bother me if he didn't tell me

 

[Aristomommy]

DH "forgot" to tell me about one ticket and I found out about it when our car insurance renewal papers came. I was mad that he didn't tell me, but when I heard the circumstances, I knew he didn't want to stress me out that week. And then he truly forgot to tell me. He is a good guy in every way so I didn't read into it too much. Now if there were other things he would "forget" to mention, I would be concerned.

 

[ZachnElli]

One ticket, not so much, even one that went on his record (no class to remove it). BUT, more than one ticket, yes I was very unhappy! Speaking from experience, my dh got a string of tickets several years ago when he traveled alot for work. He lost his license for 6 months and our insurance went up 10 times what it was! He was out of town when the letter arrived from the DMV that his license had been suspended 2 days earlier, I was the one to open it, I was NOT happy! He almost lost his job too, since he needed it to travel. But we got through it and he learned his lesson. He hasn't gotten a ticket since.

 

[J.C.&ALI'SMOM]

Uhhh, I've done it I just went and paid it. I'm really not sure if he ever found out, this was 13 years ago

 

[Ariel Mae]

I believe it would quite bother me so.

 

[pearlieq]

Yeah, it would bother me. What's the point of being married if you don't share your lives? Also, since you'd have to pay the ticket, we would need to discuss the money aspect too.

It could be considered a lie of omission if the expecatation between a couple would ordinarily have been to tell each other these things.

 

[chloelovesdisney]

I wouldn't really care one way or the other. He's a big boy and can take care of a ticket himself. If rates went up, he'd just have to pay more.

 

[chisnpeke]

My grandma got her first ever speeding ticket when she was driving on vacation with us. My grandpa wasn't with us. She didn't tell him and I don't know if she ever did. My grandpa owned his own insurance company so I'm assuming he probably saw it. She knew he would be upset though so that is why she didn't say anything.

 

[Cool-Beans]

No. I don't need to hear about every single little thing that goes on when I'm not around.

He would tell me, I think. Always has. Just to whine about it; not because I need full reports of all events.

I got a ticket a while back and he didn't hear about it until the thing showed up in the mail saying my license had been stopped. I doubt it even crossed his mind to think, "My God, she got a speeding ticket and didn't tell me about it."

I was busy with other stuff and the stupid little ticket got lost in the shuffle. I got it all straightened out and that was that. Neither of us cared a bit, I don't think.

But that's us.

 

[happygirl]

OP here, It really bothered me he didn't tell me. He might have forgot to tell me. What if he forgot to pay it. To me there is a ripple effect higher insurance, budgeting money to pay for the ticket. For us it not so simple as just paying the ticket.

 

[Veronica Lodge]

Since I am the one who balances the checkbook and reviews the cc statements, he'd prety much have to tell me, KWIM?

DH did get a speeding ticket a few years ago, took care of paying it himself, and told me about it later. I just said OK, thanks for letting me know. No use in beating him up over it. I think that is why he'd tell me anything and vice-versa. We would never torture or belittle the other for a mistake they made.

I guess I should also add, we pool all of our money - no one has their own individual checking or savings account - so he couldn't just pay for it from "his" money.

 

[NMAmy]

Nope, it wouldn't bother me. It's not high up on my list of things I must know. He's a big boy--he can pay a ticket and handle the insurance issues. Frankly, I'd just figure he'd forgotten to tell me because it wasn't a big deal to him either.

Now he does tell me when he gets a parking ticket because the place to pay for them is right around the corner from where I work so he usually asks me to drop the payment in the drop box for him.

 

[mumom95]

The fact that he didn't tell me wouldn't bother me, the fact that he got a speeding ticket would My dh has gotten a couple of speeding tickets in the same place over the past few years. He always complains "darn speedtrap" and gripes about how the cops always sit in one place where the speedlimit goes from 35-25 and that's where he gets nailed. And my argument is, if he knows the cops always sit there, then he should know not to be speeding there.

But as for telling me, I'm not his mother and if it isn't something that has a major effect on our finances (which a ticket usually doesn't, and it hasn't made our insurance go up that much) then I don't care that much.

Plus, if I started forcing him to tell me everytime he spent money, then I'd have to tell him everytime I spend money, and who wants that

 

[Kies99]

I am in DH's craphole car for some reason, and I find a crumpled up speeding ticket on the floor.

me: what's this?

him: a speeding ticket I got last week. The *bleeper* caught me doing 40 in a 25.

me: haha - loser!

end of convo.

Where is the lie?

This is what would happen in my household, except my wife would add on after "loser"...."I'm not paying it!".

That's why I didn't tell her about the ticket I got just over a year ago when I was out of state in NY. No points and didn't affect insurance and I paid it out of my own funds. No need for her to know.

 

[joyjoy]

Wouldn't bother me even a little bit. If he gets a ticket, I'd prefer he just pay it and not stress me out over it.

 

[mjkacmom]

Twice he didn't tell me! As soon as I got those lawyer letters, I knew. He knows I'm going to find out eventually, so it makes me very angry when he doesn't tell me.

 

[Mickeypooh99]

This same thing happpend to me a few years ago. DH got his ticket and didn't bother to tell me. Of course since I pay all the bills I did find out. I was upset at first because I felt like he was hiding it from me. Then after I thought about it I realized he really just forgot to mention it. I was more upset that he got the ticket in the first place. He always drives too fast.

 

[jenm2878]

I've gotten one and not told my DH. I handle all the bills in the house, and the day before the ticket I was reminding him that we agreed to spend less money and save more. I was feeling rather sheepish for telling him not to spend money and then getting a ticket, so I figured I would just take care of it. Stupid me told my friend about it, and she let it slip in front of DH after a couple glasses of wine. He got a giant kick out of it, laughed and told me I wasn't very good at trying to hide things. So no harm done. For the record, when I got another one (5 years later) I told him right away.

 

[Jennasis]

I would bother me only because then I couldn't taunt him mercilessly forever and ever about it!