Would this bother you & what would you do? UPDATE: Post 73

[WDSearcher]

How can somebody be so wrong....
Taking property that is not yours without permission is theft.

One can use any type of semantics they want....
But, to take ones property and not return it is theft....

But he DID have permission, which is where it gets murky. The coach asked if he could use the uniform, OP's DH asked the daughter and daughter (grudgingly) said yes. If the coach had permission, he is not "taking property that is not yours without permission. The coach didn't "take" the property. They were given it, with permission.

I agree that the permission wasn't given with the expectation that the coach would never return it, but then ... the DH also hasn't been particularly assertive about getting it back. If the DH is standing on the coach's front porch and the coach locks himself in the house and says, "You're not getting that uniform back!" ... THAT might be considered stealing.

 

[lillygator]

I think everyone who has said "Don't let this go" has never faced...poverty, homelessness, unexpected death, etc.

My God, Let this go...If you had famly members dying, or coudn't make a house payment, or something else, a uniform would not be important.

And I say this with my son, an athlete, who is up for scholarships....Once a season is over, he rarely wears a uniform again. We know, when he graduateds from high school, he will probably never wear his Letterman Jacket again...GOD, let it go. Who cares, the season is over. They borrowed it, your daughter has tons of workout clothes that she can wear. Let it go...

geez I hate it when people use this when someone is venting...

I would be livid and march over there now

 

[Art 1]

Older daughter played HS and AAU basketball as well. My wife kept all of her uniforms from over the years from the different sports that she played. I would be very unhappy if this were us. My wife would probably have not lent them the uniform. We like to keep our things in nice condition and take care of them. We don't like to lend things out and usually say no when people ask us to borrow something. We buy our own things, others can do the same.

 

[Mermaid02]

OP- just go over and tell the Coach you want it back- no matter the condition- NOW. See what happens.

 

[castleview]

Have you found out who is using it? At this point, I don't see the problem with contacting them. As for the coach…what an idiot. He owes you money and your daughter an apology.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

How can somebody be so wrong....

Exactly - How could you be so wrong?

Taking property that is not yours without permission is theft...

Reality check - He did not take it without permission.

 

[Mermaid02]

Exactly - How could you be so wrong?


Reality check - He did not take it without permission.

But he isnt' returning it either......... So what would you call it?

 

[horseshowmom]

Actually at this point I as the Mother would be going over to the door and asking for the uniform. He has gotten used to being able to talk his way around the husband, let him try doing that with an annoyed Mother who is standing on his porch!!!!

This would be me. Sometimes I'm better at handling this sort of thing than DH.

Reality check - He did not take it without permission.

After the specified amount of time that he was told he could borrow the items was over, he did have them without permission.

 

[Mermaid02]

This would be me. Sometimes I'm better at handling this sort of thing than DH.




After the specified amount of time that he was told he could borrow the items was over, he did have them without permission.

I agree, he was asked to return the uniform- he hasn't. He NOW has it without permission.

Really, if this was me, I'd just go over to his house and tell him I wanted it now. I wouldn't be rude, but I would be assertive and would get an answer or the uniform.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I agree, he was asked to return the uniform- he hasn't. He NOW has it without permission.

Really, if this was me, I'd just go over to his house and tell him I wanted it now. I wouldn't be rude, but I would be assertive and would get an answer or the uniform.

Ditto. I really do not understand why OP or the dd has not intervened? That has me baffled. Then again I do fully admit growing up a little more "rough" around the edges and pretty much would have been breathing down their necks till they coughed it up.

It is a skill. Heck we got dd's phone coughed up from the sister of a shady friend last yr. I told dh, we have not lost growing up in the "hood".

 

[Wishing on a star]

Well, I didn't grow up in the hood, and am not quite as rough around the edges.... ( I just seem that way here on the DIS!!! )

But I too am a bit 'baffled' about the situation...
Why does it just seem a bit 'off'????

PS: YES, if you have someone elses property, without permission (which was a couple weeks after they supposedly 'borrowed it - and at the very least the very moment the owner asks for it back - definitely without permission.) deface/destroy it, and then fail to return it... there is just no way that is anything but theft. Seriously, on what planet is this not considered theft and destruction of somebody elses property...

 

[allison443]

Well, I didn't grow up in the hood, and am not quite as rough around the edges.... ( I just seem that way here on the DIS!!! )

But I too am a bit 'baffled' about the situation...
Why does it just seem a bit 'off'????

PS: YES, if you have someone elses property, without permission (which was a couple weeks after they supposedly 'borrowed it - and at the very least the very moment the owner asks for it back - definitely without permission.) deface/destroy it, and then fail to return it... there is just no way that is anything but theft. Seriously, on what planet is this not considered theft and destruction of somebody elses property...

Legally it is considered something different, I think it is called "conversion" and that is what the other poster was referring to when he said it isn't theft. It is just a matter of semantics and using the correct terminology I guess...

 

[MELSMICE]

UPDATE:

Some of the uniform was returned yesterday. We are waiting for 2 more items. They are at the tailor's/embroiderer's & they are trying to get the name "plate" removed that was placed over my DD's name.

Unfortunately, when the coach tried to remove one of the "plates" from one of the jersey's it ripped. The name area that the "plate" was sewn over doesn't look so great. He said that is why he took it back to the people that put it on, so they could do it correctly.

Bottom line is we trusted someone that we know, who was trying to help someone else that couldn't afford the uniform cost. I don't feel bad about trying to help someone, but DH & I are both disappointed in what the coach did as far as putting the name plate over our DD's name. Lesson learned I guess.

But...............most of it is back in our hands & the remaining items should be here soon. I will repair the torn jersey for my DD.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Glad to hear your update. Lessons like that suck to learn however the important thing is that you did not give in and let it go.

There are times when some things should be let go and this was not one of them. My guess is that your dh will never do that again.

 

[Mermaid02]

UPDATE:

Some of the uniform was returned yesterday. We are waiting for 2 more items. They are at the tailor's/embroiderer's & they are trying to get the name "plate" removed that was placed over my DD's name.

Unfortunately, when the coach tried to remove one of the "plates" from one of the jersey's it ripped. The name area that the "plate" was sewn over doesn't look so great. He said that is why he took it back to the people that put it on, so they could do it correctly.

Bottom line is we trusted someone that we know, who was trying to help someone else that couldn't afford the uniform cost. I don't feel bad about trying to help someone, but DH & I are both disappointed in what the coach did as far as putting the name plate over our DD's name. Lesson learned I guess.

But...............most of it is back in our hands & the remaining items should be here soon. I will repair the torn jersey for my DD.

I hope the coach apologized profusely and acknowledged he was in the wrong.

 

[MELSMICE]

I hope the coach apologized profusely and acknowledged he was in the wrong.

Yes, he did. He was very sorry that it happened & said he never anticipated something like this.