Would this be terrible?

[Pam]

I'm with you -- I would just lie and then not go.

 

[Daxx]

If there's one thing I've learned from these boards, some will agree and some will disagree ... and the OP will usually go w/the "side" that best benefits them. It seems like your mind was made up long before posting.

All I ask is that, should you blow off the party and lie, please don't come here whining when they do it back to you. And, don't be surprised when they do. Karma, baby. You get back what you give.

 

[Aidensmom]

If there's one thing I've learned from these boards, some will agree and some will disagree ... and the OP will usually go w/the "side" that best benefits them. It seems like your mind was made up long before posting.

All I ask is that, should you blow off the party and lie, please don't come here whining when they do it back to you. And, don't be surprised when they do. Karma, baby. You get back what you give.

If you read all the posts, they have already done it (though I couldn't care less). So I guess this is just karma for them?

I have no plans to whine, and I have taken some advice of some posters here, and thanked them for it. I am sorry if I have offended you in any way.

 

[Daxx]

If you read all the posts, they have already done it (though I couldn't care less). So I guess this is just karma for them?

I have no plans to whine, and I have taken some advice of some posters here, and thanked them for it. I am sorry if I have offended you in any way.

No, no, no ... you haven't offended me and it wasn't my intent to offend you. All kinds of people do all kinds of things for right or wrong reasons. What one person thinks is "correct" might not be to someone else. It's all opinion ... and everyone has one, everyone thinks theirs is the best, blah, blah, blah ...

I just can't stand when people post on the board "Oh, I did XYZ to so-and-so" and then, a month later, they come back whining that someone else did the XYZ thing right back to them. They seem so shocked that it happened to them, when they commited the exact same "action" a month earlier! Kind of like "well, it's ok for me to do, but not for someone else to do back to me". Know what I mean!? I'm not saying that you would come back and whine if it happened to you -- just asking you not to should it happen back to you. Otherwise, someone's going to dredge up this thread to reinforce/prove their point.

Please, please, please don't be offended by what I said. I just believe that things have a way of coming back to bite you on the a$$ and I would hate for someone to disappoint you.

 

[LoveWDW]

I don't like the pop-in idea because they'll likely have food planned. I'd like to think that the child whose birthday it is is being considered.

 

[Daxx]

I don't like the pop-in idea because they'll likely have food planned. I'd like to think that the child whose birthday it is is being considered.

Given the choice, wouldn't you agree that the pop-in is better than a lie? At least some effort has been made to show up, right?

 

[pattyT]

HOLY NIGHTMARE BATMAN!

I can't lie for crap - so I couldn't go that route if I wanted too!
I agree that a pop in is not so good for planning reasons!
(a I always make to much food and have to many favors etc because I am terrified someone will pop in andit is a pain int he butt and a waste of money)

If you decided to lie and it back fires PLEASE to post a nice whiney thread...
makes for good reading
and we can learn from your mistakes!

I am assuming that youdo not only see your nephew TWICE a year on birthdays - and that you see them a lot and at that age - hes more worried about the gifts and his friends

 

[luvmydogs]

Wow! This is still here!

Here's my last thought, Aidensmom--quick and concise.

You asked if this would be "terrible." Obviously some people do--I'm not one of them. You have made it clear that your extended family is important and you normally honor those obligations; but you have been working extordiarily hard and want and deserve some family time of your own (no, you're not just running errands). If it were my party and you told me the truth--no offense taken here--I try to remember that although ds is the center of my universe, he's not the center of everyone else's.

Family is the most important thing, and in this case, I feel it's your family--the three of you, who win out in importance this time.

OK, bowing out now and letting Aidensmom be. Can you believe this thread was the first thing I thought of when I woke up?

 

[HoneyPooh]

Who's going to WDW at Thanksgiving? You, Your DH and your DS? How long is the birthday party for your nephew?

You know what, in the end it's up to you. You know your family best. I wouldn't lie, I'd tell them you had other things planned already and then do those things. It's really none of their business what things you had planned. If they are close they will already know you worked flat out last month anyway.

Not terrible by any stretch of the imagination, but I guess I would make time to go to the party for an hour or two if it were me.

 

[mickeyfan2]

I would not say he was sick. I'm sure Aiden will let the movie slip. Just stop in for a short time and leave.

 

[Christine]

Whoever said that there are all sorts of opinions and ways people do things, is so correct.

The whole way through this thread (I just started it this morning), I keep thinking: What is wrong with people who have so many darned birthday parties. CRIKEY!! This is out of control. PattyT, I laughed when I saw your HOLY FREAKIN BATMAN line. It's exactly how I feel reading this.

But only because I think "what kind of good brother and SIL are really going to get miffed at Aidensmom about this?" This woman has been working her BUTT off for awhile and she's tired and she wants to relax. For goodness sakes, it's a kid's birthday party and apparently, he's already had 11 fabulous ones before this--not to mention the constant parties of his siblings. Geesh. It is enough to just make me want to find the vomit smiley. I think it's all well and good if YOU want to make a wedding out of each birthday your child has, but why does everyone in your family have to be dragged into the insanity?

 

[kasar]

In our families, birthdays are important and we celebrate each and every one (yep, even the adults). Surprisingly, unless it's something major we all come. Not everyone stays the whole time (we're guilty of this because our kids are older and more involved in activities) but the host knows that ahead of time. We tell them not to bother with food or goody bags for us because we'll only be there a short time but we really want to come over and wish the birthday child a happy day, give him/her a big hug and give them their present.

Really, it can be all of 30 minutes. Our families understand and they're happy that we squeezed it in our already hectic day. That's what I would do.

 

[Daxx]

I always make to much food and have to many favors etc because I am terrified someone will pop in andit is a pain int he butt and a waste of money

I'm the one who started w/the pop in stuff, so let me clarify the meaning of "pop in" in this particular situation -- it's not the "oh, surprise, we're here so feed us" pop in. It's the "We said we'd come but we can't stay, so we're popping in and out quickly" pop-in. Big diff. when it comes to planning. And, it appears that there are 3 of them -- not a big waste of food or anything, really. Unless you are planning on feeding them a ton of food. It's not as if they're a family of 8 ditching you.

This type of pop-in gets the OP in the party and out quickly so she can resume the rest of her plans w/o putting a huge dent in them.

 

[disykat]

I'm the one who started w/the pop in stuff, so let me clarify the meaning of "pop in" in this particular situation -- it's not the "oh, surprise, we're here so feed us" pop in. It's the "We said we'd come but we can't stay, so we're popping in and out quickly" pop-in. Big diff. when it comes to planning. And, it appears that there are 3 of them -- not a big waste of food or anything, really. Unless you are planning on feeding them a ton of food. It's not as if they're a family of 8 ditching you.

This type of pop-in gets the OP in the party and out quickly so she can resume the rest of her plans w/o putting a huge dent in them.

Just a word about the pop in plan. I think it depends on who you are popping in on. I wouldn't be in the least bit offended if someone said they couldn't come, but I WOULD be offended if they said they could come and then did a quick pop in such as you described. It really sounds as if you were planning on coming, but something better came up and you're doing a last minute ditch.

Heck, even if something better DID come up, I wouldn't be offended IF they told me straight up a head of time.

 

[coolmom99]

I would think that family in general is important. I am sure your son would have fun at the party too. Unless you really don't care for them- I don't see where this is an issue. I couldn't do it, but my family means something to me- all of them.

Wow, so if the OP doesn't go to the party it means that her family doesn't mean anything to her? That's quite a stretch.

 

[Aidensmom]

I emailed them and told them that becuase of the short notice I had already had things planned for Saturday, and we would not be able to come. I didn't go into any details. I did let them know a card/gift card would be on the way also.

The pop-in thing really would not have worked well for me, they do not live that close by me or anywhere we are going. I would have to spend an hour and a half driving there and back to pop in for 30 minutes.

Thank you for your opinions and suggestions.