Would this be tacky? -Work Christmas Party related

[Acklander]

I wouldnt do a tip jar but I would use that time for advertising. He can put some business cards/fliers out by the equipment and do an anouncement the name of the company. I've seen D.J. do that but never the tip jars

this. Consider it advertising.

 

[swissfamilyrobinson]

I agree, yes it would be tacky.

I also don't think you are "losing" money - unless you had to cancel another job to do this job.

I would have, however asked for comp time. "Hey - I would be happy to provide this service at the party, however, could I get an afternoon off to compensate for my time that I will be essentially working while the rest of the staff if enjoying themselves."

Another thing you could do - set out some business cards for you business. You just never know when a friend of a friend will need a dj for a party.

I feel that your DH should be given comp time, as well. Why should he work (for nothing) while everyone else is enjoying themselves? Is it too late for him to suggest this to his boss?

As far as the tip jar goes, yes, it would be in bad taste to put one out there. Business cards/flyers would be fine, though!

 

[CC12005]

Definitely put out business cards. Putting a tip jar out would probably kill any referral business. I wouldn't hire someone I "knew" would put out a tip jar. Even though you may not normally place a tip jar, if they see it out at the event they are going to assume you always do.
I know how it's hard to consider the loss of income, but what is the most you would expect from the tip jar- $15? Not worth the loss of potential business. Most of the employees would probably stay away from making requests if they felt the tip jar was tacky rather than say anything. A DJ is not like a bartender where they are most likely having to go up to at some point. Hopefully his co-workers are going to remember the great time you provided & refer you when a need arises.

 

[auralia]

could hubby request that the boss cover the child care costs at least so that it's less of an issue? i'm neutral on the jar wouldn't offend me.

 

[whatsup]

My husband's employer is having a Christmas party in a few weeks. We also have a DJ/Karaoke business on the side. They asked him to donate his services for the entertainment (because they are non-profit). He agreed.

Here is my question...would it be tacky to set a tip jar out?

Running the Karaoke program can be a lot of work. We have to get there an hour before the party starts to set up and stay an hour after to tear down & repack everything into the car. It makes for a long night. Its also on a Friday night, which means we were not able to accept paying jobs for that night.

Plus, we will have to hire a sitter for longer. We would normally stay an hour or so and now we will have to be there 4-5 hours.

I was thinking of putting a small jar out with a sign that says "Entertainment donated for your enjoyment...tips accepted".

I realize we may get $0, even if we set a tip jar out. My question is...would you find it tacky. I don't want to offend anyone.

being that it is your DH company Christmas party wouldn't he need to hire someone to work the DJ/Karaoke business so HE can enjoy the party?
I would ask the employer who asked him to "donate" his services if he would mind if a tip jar went out to cover the cost of the employee that is needed to run the show. I find it quite strange to ask an employee to "work" at their own Christmas party!!! That is what he actually doing!

 

[Bob NC]

I think it's tacky that the company asked hm to make this donation to his own Christmas party.

That trumps all tacky here, so put out the tip jar.

 

[MomtoAlexnWilliam]

Tacky! I wouldn't do it.

I agree with others that the cost for you guys should have been taken into consideration before saying yes.

But I do think it would be great to put out business cards/flyers.

 

[Hanover]

My DH is a police officer full time but has disc jockeyed (mostly weddings and corporate parties)practically every Saturday since 1986. It takes a good hour to set up and take down his lights and equipment. He is often asked to dj for free for local fundraisers for people with critical illnesses, for our sons wrestling, football and baseball league picnics, parties and even our ds13's middle school dances. He does the sport events as part of helping out since he's unable to ever coach due to his police schedule. He feels he can do the work and contribute in a way to the league and gets free advertising in the process. Some times after the event my dh djs for free, they will give us a $50 gift card to a restaurant, a nice thank you card, let us out of a sports fundraiser that's mandatory, but usually we just get a simple verbal thank you. Some times we have other teachers or teams ask for dj services and he's willing to give them a deep discount as long as they don't let others know about it and it's not on a Saturday night (he is often booked a year to two in advance). I think if we needed to pay a babysitter to dj a venue for free, we let the person asking for the service know that we'd do it in return for babysitter fees. If it's just once a year and for your husband's job, I'd just do it as a good will gesture. His boss will remember it and more good will come of it down the road.

We wouldn't dream of putting out a tip jar. I think it's very tacky myself.

 

[Hanover]

I just asked my DH and he said no way would he ever do a tip jar--you don't want your DH remembered for that and not his donation of time/services.

He also said he makes every person in charge of the events he does for free complete a signed contract so that they know what he usually charges with it at 100% discount listed. The contract also covers him legally if someone were to get hurt, etc. (he tapes all his wires down, keeps the speakers on stands and make sure no one touches them or places glasses on his subwoofer, doesn't let anyone else touch his computers mixer, etc. ---you just never know what could happen). He takes the mileage off in taxes and any dry cleaning needed for suits, tuxedos or dress clothes worn. He also reminded me that if the event has a program he asks to be listed along with the advertisements. He doesn't put business cards out but has them in case anyone asks for one.

 

[SDSorority]

I wouldnt do a tip jar but I would use that time for advertising. He can put some business cards/fliers out by the equipment and do an anouncement the name of the company. I've seen D.J. do that but never the tip jars

Yeah this is a good idea. Maybe offer a coupon to draw in customers??

 

[SDSorority]

I just asked my DH and he said no way would he ever do a tip jar--you don't want your DH remembered for that and not his donation of time/services.

He also said he makes every person in charge of the events he does for free complete a signed contract so that they know what he usually charges with it at 100% discount listed. The contract also covers him legally if someone were to get hurt, etc. (he tapes all his wires down, keeps the speakers on stands and make sure no one touches them or places glasses on his subwoofer, doesn't let anyone else touch his computers mixer, etc. ---you just never know what could happen). He takes the mileage off in taxes and any dry cleaning needed for suits, tuxedos or dress clothes worn. He also reminded me that if the event has a program he asks to be listed along with the advertisements. He doesn't put business cards out but has them in case anyone asks for one.

GREAT idea as well.

 

[tfoster]

I personally wouldn't find a tip jar offensive. I don't know if I'd put anything in it, but I certainly wouldn't be offended by its being there. Around where I live, there are tip jars all over the place, so I'm just used to seeing them.

I am with the posters who think asking your DH to WORK FOR FREE through a party he should be enjoying is what's really tacky. Unfortunately, he already agreed to do it. I would absolutely draw up a paper to have them sign for a tax deduction. Kills two birds with one stone - gives you a little financial break and let's them know the value of what they've asked for. I'd include the babysitting expenses on there too, but that's just me.

My DH, who isn't close to being a professional videographer, was once asked to video tape a friend's wedding and reception. He agreed to do so, but years later we still joke about how he got to work the entire time instead of enjoying the event as an actual guest. It would've been totally different if he had offered, but he didn't. Looking back, we think it was so silly for him to agree to do it, and if we had a do-over, he'd choose to just be a normal guest. I hope your DH doesn't agree so readily in the future to such requests!

 

[Hanover]

I'm sure that your generousity will be paid back in other ways. My husband generally djs in the Northern VA, DC and MD and not too much where we live in Southern PA. Many of our local friends do not know he djs and when they see him at the different fundraisers, banquets, etc. they keep him in mind for future weddings/parties. Several times he's been referred clients from people seeing him at events he does for free. Like I said before, if other friends/family ask for him to dj, we usually give them a good discount, but at least make them cover the cost of his gas, tape (it's like $20 a roll for the special stuff)etc. If he did all our friends/family for free all the time, he wouldn't be able to charge what he or the talent agency he often goes through charges. Another reason he gives the full price before the discount of 100% is written on the contract is because many people are not aware of what djs cost. One time we were on vacation during a wrestling party and the person in charge was freaking out they had to pay someone $250 for 4 hours.

Hopefully your DH's company will recognize your generous act in some manner and you'll get some new clients. Good luck!

 

[merekc]

Start training your husband to lie....when the boss asks if he can do it again next year...your hubby needs to say.. "I'm booked already, sorry." And then remember to stay away from the office Xmas party.

I had to respond even though I haven't finished the thread. You do not have to train your husband to lie. You have to train him to delay the decision.

Lies catch up with you. There is no reason he can't make a truthful reply such as, I will need to check my schedule and get back with you. Or let me discuss it with my wife since this affects our date night. Just my 2 cents!

ETA: My vote is tacky. Do not ask for tips. However, depending on his relationship with the boss and his position (is he management or lower level) he could go back and ask for time off as another poster mentioned. But I would only do this if he has a good relationship and can go in there and say, I've been thinking about this and don't mind doing it but here is what it means for me. And let them know, they probably do not realize the time commitment and haven't thought about it taking away his enjoyment of the party. If he isn't comfortable or thinks this wouldn't go over well, then he needs to do it and live up to his commitment.

 

[merekc]

He also said he makes every person in charge of the events he does for free complete a signed contract so that they know what he usually charges with it at 100% discount listed. The contract also covers him legally if someone were to get hurt, etc. (he tapes all his wires down, keeps the speakers on stands and make sure no one touches them or places glasses on his subwoofer, doesn't let anyone else touch his computers mixer, etc. ---you just never know what could happen).

Excellent point. Definitely give them an invoice with the amount of your services listed at full price. Then zero it out so they know the value of the services they are getting for free.

 

[Hanover]

I had to respond even though I haven't finished the thread. You do not have to train your husband to lie. You have to train him to delay the decision.

Lies catch up with you. There is no reason he can't make a truthful reply such as, I will need to check my schedule and get back with you. Or let me discuss it with my wife since this affects our date night. Just my 2 cents!

ETA: My vote is tacky. Do not ask for tips. However, depending on his relationship with the boss and his position (is he management or lower level) he could go back and ask for time off as another poster mentioned. But I would only do this if he has a good relationship and can go in there and say, I've been thinking about this and don't mind doing it but here is what it means for me. And let them know, they probably do not realize the time commitment and haven't thought about it taking away his enjoyment of the party. If he isn't comfortable or thinks this wouldn't go over well, then he needs to do it and live up to his commitment.

I second the delay tactic advice. My DH will always do the "Let me check my schedule and get back to you." He has his schedule on his iphone but they don't know that. He just likes to discuss it with me first and get my feedback. We decided a while ago that my DH would do things for critically ill people or events our sons are directly related with for free. For other groups that do similar events for sports (like the high school or other nearby leagues), we give them a discount, but not for free. We don't want people expecting it for free all the time ---- I certainly wouldn't expect my friends that are mechanics to fix our cars for free or my friends that own restaurants to give me free food.

 

[blackforest]

I second the delay tactic advice. My DH will always do the "Let me check my schedule and get back to you." He has his schedule on his iphone but they don't know that. He just likes to discuss it with me first and get my feedback. We decided a while ago that my DH would do things for critically ill people or events our sons are directly related with for free. For other groups that do similar events for sports (like the high school or other nearby leagues), we give them a discount, but not for free. We don't want people expecting it for free all the time ---- I certainly wouldn't expect my friends that are mechanics to fix our cars for free or my friends that own restaurants to give me free food.

That's such a good point. I would NEVER ask a friend for free car repairs or free food, but a friend of mine who is an educated, highly skilled PROFESSIONAL photographer, is continually asked to, "take just a few pictures at our wedding" or "since your here (as a guest) at my kid's 1st birthday party, can you do some family photos?" Why people don't treat these types of people as professionals is beyond me. People would be the first to yell if the work wasn't "professsional" if they were paying for it, but expect an A+ job if it's free!

 

[2forMe]

I personally think it is tacky, especially since your dh works for them. I wouldn't do it.

I agree.. it is tacky.

 

[Hanover]

That's such a good point. I would NEVER ask a friend for free car repairs or free food, but a friend of mine who is an educated, highly skilled PROFESSIONAL photographer, is continually asked to, "take just a few pictures at our wedding" or "since your here (as a guest) at my kid's 1st birthday party, can you do some family photos?" Why people don't treat these types of people as professionals is beyond me. People would be the first to yell if the work wasn't "professsional" if they were paying for it, but expect an A+ job if it's free!

We've had several friends or coworkers ask my DH to disc jockey their/their children's weddings and my husband will give them 50% off and that's also our gift to them. I've used friends for certain specialty services but have never asked for a discount because I figure it's their business and they are depending on the money. If they offer a discount it's one thing, it's another to ask for it.

 

[Disney Doll]

That's such a good point. I would NEVER ask a friend for free car repairs or free food, but a friend of mine who is an educated, highly skilled PROFESSIONAL photographer, is continually asked to, "take just a few pictures at our wedding" or "since your here (as a guest) at my kid's 1st birthday party, can you do some family photos?" Why people don't treat these types of people as professionals is beyond me. People would be the first to yell if the work wasn't "professsional" if they were paying for it, but expect an A+ job if it's free!

My DH is a realtor and people are constantly asking him to decrease his commission. I always want to say "Would you agree to take $100 less in your weekly paycheck, just because?".