Would really like an opinion

[pigletto]

Hi all..
I would like to get your opinion on something that is bothering me.
Tonight a girl who is my neighbor came over to tell me something. She is a close friend of my dd and is twelve.
She said to me.. " Mrs. S.. I think you should ask the kindergarten teacher to pick a new reading buddy for ***" (my 4 yr old son).
She told me that that a girl in her class was assigned as his reading buddy and made him cry today.
According to her.. This girl snaps at him when he asks a question. And told him to "Go SIT DOWN!!" while there were no teachers listening. O.k.. no big deal. But when he asked where he should sit she responded with "Duh!! Are you stupid?? On the carpet!" and he went and sat and cried.
I asked ds about it.. but being four he didn't say much but "She's not very nice".
It's really bothering me. This is only his second day at the school.. he transfered from another school.
I want to write a note to the teacher and request a new reading buddy.. but I also don't want to create unnecessary drama right off the bat in a new school.
I absolutely trust the neighbor girls story.. she is a very shy and kind girl who honestly looked like she was going to cry telling me this. She was just worried about ds.
What would you do?

 

[swald91]

I would talk with the teacher & ask her to keep an eye on the situation. It's tough enough for a child to start at a new school and then to have this possibly happening. Hope all goes well!

 

[jellybeans0607]

What did your son say about the situation?

 

[pigletto]

When I asked him about his new reading buddy he said "She's not very nice".
When I asked why he wouldn't elaborate.. just said "She's just not!!".

 

[amandaraye]

If it were me, I'd be on the phone tomorrow with the teacher. You don't want your DS to be feeling unwelcome at a new school. This reading buddy sounds like a bratty child IMO. The only thing she's going to do is turn your DS off to reading and make him dislike school. How nice it is the girl next door spoke up and is looking out for your kids!

 

[sk!mom]

I would speak with the teacher and the principal ASAP. Programs like this seem good in theory but if they aren't closely supervised can do more harm than good.

Your child's well-being is your responsibility and first concern. Any good school and teacher will have your son as their first concern as well and will take care of the situation.

 

[pigletto]

If it were me, I'd be on the phone tomorrow with the teacher. You don't want your DS to be feeling unwelcome at a new school. This reading buddy sounds like a bratty child IMO. The only thing she's going to do is turn your DS off to reading and make him dislike school. How nice it is the girl next door spoke up and is looking out for your kids!

The girl next door is lovely. Just an awesome responsible and caring child.
The girl in question I have met a few times.. and she really is one of the super popular kind of mean girls.
The neighbor girl was worried I would mention her name and mean girl would retaliate. Yet she told me anyway.. she really is a good kid
So I am thinking of writing a note but not mentioning who told me as I don't want to get her in trouble with her peers.

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

What a sweet neighbor you have.
You have to call. I hate to be "that mom" too, but he's little, you don't want him to be turned off by reading or worse, school as a whole. They are so impressional at this age. Just don't go in angry (she said it happened when the teacher didn't see.) I would assume the teacher doesn't know and so just tell her your concerns. Teachers usually know who the "Eddie Haskals" are in their classes, and she probably knows to keep an eye on that one and if she doesn't she needs to know.
Sorry for DS, goo he has a good momma and a good friend in the neighbor...
(Her mom must be so proud of her!)

 

[disykat]

I would contact the teacher as soon as possible with something simple like "...seems upset about reading buddies.." Then give the teacher a chance to deal with it, jumping in only if needed.

 

[bwilcox]

If he were older, I would suggest helping him with strategies for dealing with the situation himself. At four years old, though, I think you need to take the situation into your hands and discuss it with the teacher. She should be able to discreetly handle the situation without creating drama for your son.

 

[kitsch4]

I am so sorry this is happening to your son. It is heartbreaking. I would not write a note. I would go and meet with the teacher, and tell her exactly what the neighbor girl told you. There's no need to pussyfoot around it. Just say that she witnessed it, but that she doesn't want the other girl to find out who told you. By meeting with her, she'll know that you are really concerned, and you'll be able to judge her reaction and discuss possible solutions.

Good luck!

 

[nessz79]

Yup, mention it to the teacher (leaving the girl anonymous, of course) and if something doesn't change within a week, talk to her again...until she gets it.

Maybe have the neighbor girl just keep an eye on the situation. Nice girl! Good friend to have for your daughter!

 

[sashagiselle]

Being that he is only 4 I would definitely go and speak to the teacher. I would request that he be assigned a new reading buddy ASAP, maybe it can be the neighbor girl!

 

[jonesies]

I think we all hate being 'that' mom - but you have to go with your gut feelings, and hopefully that should be to talk to the teacher. Good luck.

 

[DVCsince02]

If anyone makes my children cry it is dealt with immediately no matter their age.

 

[shelby101301]

yep, get involved. It will be a matter of he said/she said, but if you explain you just want to make check into it to see what really is happening, that's not being unreasonable. Maybe you need to observe for yourself. Definately ask the teacher if she has seen your child crying. At the very least, I would think it would plant a seed, and she would know to keep a closer eye on the situation, kwim?

Let me tell, you my 4 yr transferred to a new school last year and it was horrible! On the surface it looked to be fine, but he slowly ended up hating school and I foun out he was not be treated well at all. I was so mad.

Switching him to a new school this year shows me how much impact has on his personality. he is so much happier and well behaved and loves school again. DO NOT underestimate how much influence other kids and teachers have over your child.

G/L!

 

[Jack'sGirl5]

You know what? I have come to the conclusion that if handled gracefully there is no such that as "that Mom". But there is "that involved, caring, reasonable Mom" which you seem to be. I have always approached my DD's teachers and principal when I thought a situation was outside my daughter's capability of handling and rose above the level of common kid angst and I have always gotten great results based on approaching them in a collaborative manner. I think your situation deserves a call to your son's teacher to explain what you heard (leaving names out) and how concerned about it you are. I can't imagine a teacher responding badly to that.

Good luck and remember you are just doing your job as a great mom!