Worried about 4 yr old wandering off

[stephanie71717]

If its a crowded area put the kids in a stroller..chances are if its crowded they are going to get knocked down anyways. If it is pretty calm and uncrowded let the kid out but hold their hand the entire time. This is the rule we follow..either stroller, holding hands, or on dads shoulders but thats as far you get. (I can't stand the leashes)

 

[brergnat]

I have an 8 year old that now wanders off...sometimes intentionally. I'm ready to put a leash on him. He thinks he's invincible or something. Kids do wander off even when parents are paying attention. I've been shopping and he is right next to me..stop to pick up and item and he is gone.....sometimes hiding to get my goat. I'm not impressed anymore and would really like ideas on how to keep him with me. I guess because he is older he thinks that nothing will happen to him?

Here's an idea. Tell him that if he wanders off from you while at WDW without telling you where he is going, even ONCE, you will IMMEDIATELY take him back to the hotel ROOM where he will sit in there for the remainder of the day, doing nothing but sitting on the bed, staring at the wall. No t.v. No gameboy. No books. Nothing. If he does it AGAIN, he will spend the remainder of the ENTIRE VACATION sitting in that hotel room, doing NOTHING. You and your DH will take turns sitting in there with him. And enforce it.

He'll stop wandering off. I guarantee it.

At home, tell him PRIOR to going into a store or whatever "you are to stay right next to me at all times. IF you wander off, even for a minute, we will leave the store immediately and go home, where you will go to your room and be on TIME OUT for the rest of the day (i.e. no "fun stuff"---t.v. video games, playing outside, etc.)"

Even if you are in the middle of your shopping, if he does wander off, drop everything, find him and LEAVE the store and take him home and follow through with the punishment. He needs to know that you are not going to tolerate this and you are serious about following through with the consequences you spelled out for him.

 

[dayzemair]

My daughter will be 3 when we are in wdw and my current plan is to do a sort of mix of what I have read here on the board and elsewhere.

*I am going to pin or find a bracelet or something with our names and the cell numbers of all that are in our party and make sure that we teach her ahead of time to know where it is and to show it to a CM if she gets lost.

*Then we are going to play the "find a CM game" when we first get to the park so that she is aware of how to find a CM.

*Also hubby really wants to get the teddy bear alert thingy so that if we do lose her we can set off her alarm and find her quickly. I am not sure about it - don't know how reliable they are and i wouldn't want us to have a false sense of security.

*I do believe in the whole system of "passing" off the children every time you go anywhere. Last time we went I always would look my husband or my dad or mom or sister in the eye and say "you have Cassie??" and wait for the response "yes I have her" They all made fun of me for it but I was so worried that with so many adults in our party it might happen that everyone thinks someone else had her. So I make point to designate a specific person each time I was leaving her with the group.

*On the topic of the leash - I adore that mickey one so it might make me change my mind - BUT I haven't had much luck with the backpack leashes, it always seemed that as soon as we put it on her she would just pull on it like a dog does and it just became so obnoxious - but thats just my experience.

 

[badblackpug]

Here's an idea. Tell him that if he wanders off from you while at WDW without telling you where he is going, even ONCE, you will IMMEDIATELY take him back to the hotel ROOM where he will sit in there for the remainder of the day, doing nothing but sitting on the bed, staring at the wall. No t.v. No gameboy. No books. Nothing. If he does it AGAIN, he will spend the remainder of the ENTIRE VACATION sitting in that hotel room, doing NOTHING. You and your DH will take turns sitting in there with him. And enforce it.

He'll stop wandering off. I guarantee it.

At home, tell him PRIOR to going into a store or whatever "you are to stay right next to me at all times. IF you wander off, even for a minute, we will leave the store immediately and go home, where you will go to your room and be on TIME OUT for the rest of the day (i.e. no "fun stuff"---t.v. video games, playing outside, etc.)"

Even if you are in the middle of your shopping, if he does wander off, drop everything, find him and LEAVE the store and take him home and follow through with the punishment. He needs to know that you are not going to tolerate this and you are serious about following through with the consequences you spelled out for him.

Yep, punishment, immediately. Take away something. With my 8 year old "media blackout" (no TV, computer, video games) is a killer. Just find whatever will hurt him most to lose and take it away next time he "wanders" off! Keep upping the stakes. The 1st time he wanders off make it 1 day of restriction, then 2, then 3, etc. Just stick to your guns. He will get the hint. Then before you go to WDW warn him that the 1st time he "wanders" off he will go back to the room and sit quietly on the bed in the dark while you catch up on your sleep! If you stick to it at home he wil know you mean business while at WDW.

 

[disneyjunkie]

Here's an idea. Tell him that if he wanders off from you while at WDW without telling you where he is going, even ONCE, you will IMMEDIATELY take him back to the hotel ROOM where he will sit in there for the remainder of the day, doing nothing but sitting on the bed, staring at the wall. No t.v. No gameboy. No books. Nothing. If he does it AGAIN, he will spend the remainder of the ENTIRE VACATION sitting in that hotel room, doing NOTHING. You and your DH will take turns sitting in there with him. And enforce it.

He'll stop wandering off. I guarantee it.

At home, tell him PRIOR to going into a store or whatever "you are to stay right next to me at all times. IF you wander off, even for a minute, we will leave the store immediately and go home, where you will go to your room and be on TIME OUT for the rest of the day (i.e. no "fun stuff"---t.v. video games, playing outside, etc.)"

Even if you are in the middle of your shopping, if he does wander off, drop everything, find him and LEAVE the store and take him home and follow through with the punishment. He needs to know that you are not going to tolerate this and you are serious about following through with the consequences you spelled out for him.

 

[sherabby]

Here's an idea. Tell him that if he wanders off from you while at WDW without telling you where he is going, even ONCE, you will IMMEDIATELY take him back to the hotel ROOM where he will sit in there for the remainder of the day, doing nothing but sitting on the bed, staring at the wall. No t.v. No gameboy. No books. Nothing. If he does it AGAIN, he will spend the remainder of the ENTIRE VACATION sitting in that hotel room, doing NOTHING. You and your DH will take turns sitting in there with him. And enforce it.

He'll stop wandering off. I guarantee it.

At home, tell him PRIOR to going into a store or whatever "you are to stay right next to me at all times. IF you wander off, even for a minute, we will leave the store immediately and go home, where you will go to your room and be on TIME OUT for the rest of the day (i.e. no "fun stuff"---t.v. video games, playing outside, etc.)"

Even if you are in the middle of your shopping, if he does wander off, drop everything, find him and LEAVE the store and take him home and follow through with the punishment. He needs to know that you are not going to tolerate this and you are serious about following through with the consequences you spelled out for him.

I'm definately going to enforce that. Thank you for the suggestion. I did this once when he was really little for acting out during a shopping trip and it worked well for him! Also he is starting to realize that time without video games is no fun for him. I do have a child though that can play for hours with a piece of paper or even a paper clip and he gets to imaginative.

 

[ireland_nicole]

I have two kids with disabilities, and running off has always been a problem. Yes, we have had consequences that are consistently enforced, no they do not influence future behavior in our kids.

Anyway, I started to feel like DS 6 was getting a little "big" for the harness, and because my kids look "normal" we were getting more and more comments - still not as bad as a code adam on a regular basis, but stil...

So we got a child locator. No it's not perfect, but we have been able to train our kids that when it starts beeping they stay perfectly still until Mommy or Daddy finds them. It really helps to keep that minute to minute reminder to stay close, and I don't have to repeat myself and the hold the stroller, hold the cart, hold my hand, hold.... ad nauseum.

I know most people aren't parents of elopers, but thought I'd share what is currently working for us.

 

[KnightFarms]

First thing we do when we get there is show the kids a cast member with a nem tag and tell them to look for anyone with a name tag if we get separated.

2. If they are not holding a hand, they are in the stroller.

3. I'm not perfect, so cell phone numbers are written in permanent marker on their bellies or calves, and they can show the cast member if they want. The younger they are, the more obvious a place. Last time dd2 had my number on her forearm, and it only showed up in one pic.

Safety tats are good, too, cause they won't come off until you remove them.

4. Take a pic of them every morning, cause when you're freaking out about losing your kid, you'll never remember what the heck that kid was wearing that day.

 

[brergnat]

I'm definately going to enforce that. Thank you for the suggestion. I did this once when he was really little for acting out during a shopping trip and it worked well for him! Also he is starting to realize that time without video games is no fun for him. I do have a child though that can play for hours with a piece of paper or even a paper clip and he gets to imaginative.

Well, in that case, if the "punishment" doesn't work the first time, you may have to go to extreme measures. You might have to "strip" his room of everything but a bed with a sheet, pillow, and blanket, at least temporarily. I've seen some GREAT success with this technique. Make him "earn" back everything in his room. Sometimes, really stubborn kids are the really intelligent/imaginative ones that need the elaborate punishment techniques.

However, when their safety is in jeopardy, especially when they like to "wander off" at 8 years old in crowded public places like theme parks, that is when you have to put your foot down!

 

[LauralF22]

I just bought the Safety Tats and plan to use them next weekend for a trial run. We're going to Story Land and Santa's Village in NH, so this will be our 'amusement park' trial run before Disney in Nov. My DD(4) likes to take off, so this has been a great discussion to follow.

Thanks for letting me hijack your ideas. You all have some great ones.