Worried about 4 yr old wandering off

[JePom]

I am extremely worried about losing my 4 yr old if the crowds are as bad as people are saying (we leave next on Sun May 17th). I don't want a harness and I don't want the band that goes around the wrist. DH wants to take a very small leash and just attach it to a belt loop on his pants. Will we get any negative comments for doing this? I imagine he will spend most of his time in the stroller, but if he wants to get out and walk then we can keep track of him.

 

[Connerzmom]

I don't think you will get any "weird looks" for doing that. When we took DS last year we took a little "bear leash" so that he didn't wander off if he was walking around. You tend to see a lot of children with leashes on while at the parks (at least from my observation).

 

[TKL SHOP]

I too would use a leash, I have a friend though, that think I am crazy and doesn't think it's right. I am sorry but I would rater have my child safe, then care about what others think. (that friend lost my dd for 5 min at sesame place)....

 

[brergnat]

I've read this many, many, many times. And, I may get flamed for agreeing with it, but I think it's true.

Children don't "wander off". Children don't "get lost".

Parents LOSE THEM.

Parents get distracted with one thing or another and the child gets forgotten about momentarily, and that's when something happens.

As long as you and your DH are vigilant and in constant communication as to WHO has your son at every given moment, nothing will happen to your son. Trust me. It needs to be a never ending dialogue (along the lines of "do you have Billy?" "I've got Billy" "You got Billy?", etc.) You don't need a harness or leash, unless your son has a developmental disability that causes him to "elope", which is another issue altogether.

If it is JUST your DH, you, and your son, even easier.

This is about paying attention at all times, and not getting wrapped up in something so that your son gets forgotten about, even for a second.

My husband and I have been taking our 2 sons (4 and 3) to Disneyland practically every 2 weeks since they were born. Our oldest has Autism, so he presents more challenges. We have never even come close to losing one of our children. In fact, I have taken my 2 boys on my own NUMEROUS times. You have to make your kids your #1 focus at ALL times. Don't get distracted by the "shinys" as I say...

Go, have fun, and don't worry. Take the basic precaution of explaining to your son what to do if you become separated (seek out a CM or a "mommy" for help) and STAY PUT, and take a digital camera picture of him every morning, so you remember what he is wearing. Other than that, don't go to extremes. You are not going to lose your kid if you keep in physical contact with him at all times. Keep him in the stroller when the crowds are heavy.

 

[badblackpug]

I've read this many, many, many times. And, I may get flamed for agreeing with it, but I think it's true.

Children don't "wander off". Children don't "get lost".

Parents LOSE THEM.

Parents get distracted with one thing or another and the child gets forgotten about momentarily, and that's when something happens.

As long as you and your DH are vigilant and in constant communication as to WHO has your son at every given moment, nothing will happen to your son. Trust me. It needs to be a never ending dialogue (along the lines of "do you have Billy?" "I've got Billy" "You got Billy?", etc.) You don't need a harness or leash, unless your son has a developmental disability that causes him to "elope", which is another issue altogether.

If it is JUST your DH, you, and your son, even easier.

This is about paying attention at all times, and not getting wrapped up in something so that your son gets forgotten about, even for a second.

My husband and I have been taking our 2 sons (4 and 3) to Disneyland practically every 2 weeks since they were born. Our oldest has Autism, so he presents more challenges. We have never even come close to losing one of our children. In fact, I have taken my 2 boys on my own NUMEROUS times. You have to make your kids your #1 focus at ALL times. Don't get distracted by the "shinys" as I say...

Go, have fun, and don't worry. Take the basic precaution of explaining to your son what to do if you become separated (seek out a CM or a "mommy" for help) and STAY PUT, and take a digital camera picture of him every morning, so you remember what he is wearing. Other than that, don't go to extremes. You are not going to lose your kid if you keep in physical contact with him at all times. Keep him in the stroller when the crowds are heavy.

I'll jump in the flames with you. I agree. I have "lost" a child twice. Oddly enough, the same one. Both times I/we were distracted. Once at the zoo, when an elderly lady struggling with a toddler fell and we stopped to help her up, and once in EPCOT when I was "dealing with" (okay, yelling at! ) my older daughter. Both times he wandered off to look at something, and the crowd just swallowed him up. Luckily the 1st time preschool training kicked in and he calmly walked up to a zoo employee and said, "My name is _______ and I am lost, my mommy's name is _________ and my daddy's name is _________." We found him with the employee, perfectly calm. I was hysterical! At EPCOT he didn't get far away, just went to look at the ducks!

 

[Tillybud]

we have a little bumblebee backpack for dd which has a leash/rein attached ... it's great because she objected to the wrist version but at least the backpack means she feels independent but we've still got control and know exactly where she is. I'm not sure if you could find something similar ? I bought a dinosaur one for my friends son and he loves it.

 

[CyndiLooWho]

It is perfectly possible to keep up with most children as long as you don't have too many other distractions (like other kids); only you know how distracted you might be. If it's just you, your dh and 1 kid, it's likely you'll be able to keep him with you.

For visits to Kings Island (local amusement park we visit every year), I actually bought the harnesses and took them, but we never ended up needing them. However, I only have 2 kids and I always had two adults (if it wasn't dh, it was my mom or sis). I would have had no problem putting either of my guys on their harnesses, but it wasn't really necessary. And I saw LOADS of kids with harnesses when we spent 100% of our days in the kid's area. I am quite certain that if I had more kids than adults, I would have been more distracted and more likely to use the harness, but that's not our situation.

Now, some kids are simply the type to run. I had a cousin like that (turned out to be a fighter pilot and excellent guy), and my aunt simply could not keep him from being a daredevil and running off. He's the perfect example of a kid that *needed* to be restrained for his own good.

Remember too, that even runners may behave very differently in a crowd like WDW. they may feel less secure and want to be with Mom and Dad. My own boys are quite adventurous, but they never ran off at KI (and they started going at 3 yo and 15 mo).

Bottom line - YOU know your kid(s) and what is best for them. If you feel like you need the harness, take it. Decide once you are there whether or not you need it, and if you do, use it and don't worry about what the crowd might think.

 

[Colinsmom]

I'd use a dog/monkey harness from Target before I'd attach a dog leash to his belt loop (what if you forget and put a belt loop-less pair of shorts on him one day?). Also, we get rubber bracelets for each of the kids with just our cell phone numbers on them (DS3 wears them on his ankles), so that if we are separated, there is a way to reconcile us quickly.

 

[maxiesmom]

How about just using a stroller? Disney World is a lot of walking for a 4yr old. Not only would a stroller keep him from being exhausted at the end of the day, you would know exactly where he was at all times.

My first trip to Disney World was with my sis, her hubby, and her then 4yr old son. Her husband flat out refused to rent or bring a stroller, and it was a huge mistake. We ended up with a tired, whiney little boy. Unless you take frequent breaks, it is all too much for their little bodies.

I say forget the lesh and use a stroller. That way you will all be happy and safe.

 

[nancy21571]

In addition to all other precautions, you may want to take of photo of your child (children) every day so that you know exactly what they are wearing if you need help searching.

 

[LWatson]

We have a Puppy Backpack/Harness thingy that we use for crowded areas. Our 3yr old is one to take off and just run everywhere w/o caring what will happen to him. I love taking it on trips esp when we have a lot of reststops. We are taking it with us to Disney in Dec. It not only works to keep your child close to you, but you can store some stuff in it too (not a lot...probably like a few snacks).

 

[JePom]

Thanks everyone for your thoughts. We are renting a stroller, but I know there will be times when he wants to walk. We have 4 kids and I am human so I know I will at some point be distracted by one of my other children. I just want to be on the safe side. Thanks again for all your replies.

 

[Tiffany_PartyOf7]

I know you said no harness but seriously, I can't pass this up - http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3355296


We harness our 2 yr old when he walks at Disney - he's the one who likes to go the opposite way LOL - He is #3 of 4 and I'm pregnant with #5.

 

[HappyPeach]

I know you said you don't want to do the wrist band, but I had silicone bracelets made (with my son's name and my cell phone number) and I put it on my son's ankle. I only have one child and I'm a freak about watching him, but it only takes a second of distraction... so just in case I have him wear the band.
As far as the leash, I was given one and tried it once with my son at a local parade. I didn't really like it... but it was nothing more than my personal preference. If you want to use it, do so. Anyone who dares to judge you is a jerk, imo.

 

[disneyjunkie]

I am extremely worried about losing my 4 yr old if the crowds are as bad as people are saying (we leave next on Sun May 17th). I don't want a harness and I don't want the band that goes around the wrist. DH wants to take a very small leash and just attach it to a belt loop on his pants. Will we get any negative comments for doing this? I imagine he will spend most of his time in the stroller, but if he wants to get out and walk then we can keep track of him.

I don't think you'll get any negative comments, but you will get a few odd looks. Most people aren't used to seeing kids on leashes.

Thanks everyone for your thoughts. We are renting a stroller, but I know there will be times when he wants to walk. We have 4 kids and I am human so I know I will at some point be distracted by one of my other children. I just want to be on the safe side. Thanks again for all your replies.

How old are the other kids?

Set rules now. Tell the 4 year old if he's out of the stroller, he must hold an adult or older sibling’s hand.

 

[barnaby1]

I've read this many, many, many times. And, I may get flamed for agreeing with it, but I think it's true.

Children don't "wander off". Children don't "get lost".

Parents LOSE THEM.

Parents get distracted with one thing or another and the child gets forgotten about momentarily, and that's when something happens.

As long as you and your DH are vigilant and in constant communication as to WHO has your son at every given moment, nothing will happen to your son. Trust me. It needs to be a never ending dialogue (along the lines of "do you have Billy?" "I've got Billy" "You got Billy?", etc.) You don't need a harness or leash, unless your son has a developmental disability that causes him to "elope", which is another issue altogether.

If it is JUST your DH, you, and your son, even easier.

This is about paying attention at all times, and not getting wrapped up in something so that your son gets forgotten about, even for a second.

My husband and I have been taking our 2 sons (4 and 3) to Disneyland practically every 2 weeks since they were born. Our oldest has Autism, so he presents more challenges. We have never even come close to losing one of our children. In fact, I have taken my 2 boys on my own NUMEROUS times. You have to make your kids your #1 focus at ALL times. Don't get distracted by the "shinys" as I say...

Go, have fun, and don't worry. Take the basic precaution of explaining to your son what to do if you become separated (seek out a CM or a "mommy" for help) and STAY PUT, and take a digital camera picture of him every morning, so you remember what he is wearing. Other than that, don't go to extremes. You are not going to lose your kid if you keep in physical contact with him at all times. Keep him in the stroller when the crowds are heavy.

I agree with this. My dd 3 has been to WDW repeatedly since 8 months. I have never even come close to loosing her as I am aware of where she is and don't get distracted by things. If I want to look at something then hubby is tasked with keeping an eye on her. On our last trip she suddenly started doing dome running ahead and that was swiftly knocked on the head with having to hold my hand if she did it. Although I admit that with 4 children you certainly have your hands full but at 4 years old he can understand the consequences of not staying near by.

 

[abrantley]

When we went last May, we purchased the Army dog tags on necklaces that you can get at those portable machines in Wal-Mart. We engraved "If found call xxx-xxxx." We never had to use it but the kids didn't mind the necklaces, and we knew if a cast member found them, they could call us right away on our cell.

 

[Altoqueenkelly]

I know you said no harness but seriously, I can't pass this up...

OMG!!! I soooo want this! LOL. I use the monkey one from Target because my 2yr old likes to RUN and I mean RUN whenever I let her down from the cart/stroller.... Wish I had seen that before our trip was so close or I would SO have it!

 

[aestapa]

Our son went up the slide contraption at AK Boneyard and I completely lost sight of him. He zigged when I zagged. As I was circling the base looking for him, he left the Boneyard and wandered up to a gift shop. Most terrifying hour of my life. We learned our lesson and found these cute little bears that attach to their shoes. If you lose sight, you can push a button on the receiver and their bear starts beeping. The next time we were there, 6 months later, I went up the play structure with him! We figured out that the dinosaur noises scared him. He asked to go "inside", so I let him lead me. He went right back to the same gift shop...to the same wall where my husband had found him on our earlier trip!!

The irony is that we had one of the "leashes" attached to his little brothers belt loop because we thought he might be the one to try and "escape"!

 

[sherabby]

I have an 8 year old that now wanders off...sometimes intentionally. I'm ready to put a leash on him. He thinks he's invincible or something. Kids do wander off even when parents are paying attention. I've been shopping and he is right next to me..stop to pick up and item and he is gone.....sometimes hiding to get my goat. I'm not impressed anymore and would really like ideas on how to keep him with me. I guess because he is older he thinks that nothing will happen to him?