Women Leaves Children in Hotel Pool Unattended. Refuses to Gives Room Number.

[sam_gordon]

I typically only asked minorities... because usually they were the only people there. A few times, there were accusations that the motivation of the HOA was racist but the neighborhood was diverse and it was a response to the damage and the fact that residents just didn't want to share the courts that they were paying for.

If only minorities are in the area, then you are asking everyone. However, if there were 'x' non-minorities and you didn't ask them, you better have a good reason for not asking them (you recognize them as residents). Not asking them solely because they're not minorities is not good.

 

[tzolkin]

If only minorities are in the area, then you are asking everyone. However, if there were 'x' non-minorities and you didn't ask them, you better have a good reason for not asking them (you recognize them as residents). Not asking them solely because they're not minorities is not good.

I feel like in the situation of the original post, "you were sitting in your car so it appeared you were a non-guest dropping your kids off to use the pool" should be a valid enough reason to be the only one asked if you have a room reservation. To me, that would seem like a logical assumption so I would just provide my information so they could verify I'm a registered guest and move on with my day. I just don't understand the arguing and refusing to provide the information even after police arrived. Why let the situation escalate over something so insignificant?

 

[sam_gordon]

I feel like in the situation of the original post, "you were sitting in your car so it appeared you were a non-guest dropping your kids off to use the pool" should be a valid enough reason to be the only one asked if you have a room reservation. To me, that would seem like a logical assumption so I would just provide my information so they could verify I'm a registered guest and move on with my day. I just don't understand the arguing and refusing to provide the information even after police arrived. Why let the situation escalate over something so insignificant?

I'm not convinced sitting in the car is enough of a reason. That's obviously just my opinion. While I disagree with her choice to go to the car to charge the phone, it is at least slightly logical (where else could she go to charge the phone while the kids were swimming?). Yes, of course she should have postponed the call until after they were done swimming, but I can see the logic behind what she did (even though I disagree with it).

 

[DopeyDame]

Paramus, New Jersey?! That's taking it too far

On a more serious note, I have no idea where in North Carolina you visited, but that has not been my experience living here for 6 years and traveling throughout the state. Certainly no experiences that would cause me to paint the entire state as racist.

I think your examples are things that can unfortunately be found everywhere. I lived most of my life in New York. When I last visited I was pushed out of the way and glared at by an elderly woman at a grocery store when I greeted her and offered her a cart. And I have seen WAY more confederate flags in rural NY than I ever have in NC.


Why did you feel so strongly about not providing the documentation? Is there an identity theft issue with adoption information? I would think if you've already provided birth certificate, ss#, etc there would already be a risk. I must be missing something.

Two reasons:
1. Adoptions decrees (or at least the one my kids' have from my county) includes their personal birth information. That info is theirs to know and to share as they feel. It's not mine to share, and my company absolutely does not need to know my children's birth parents information or their birth names or anything like that in order to verify their qualification for health benefits.
2. To qualify for benefits, I needed to prove that they were my children. The birth certificate with my name on it as their mother did that. Simply because they became my children through adoption rather than through birth does not give my company the right to ask for more information than they do from any other parent. I was in a situation where I had the time and ability to fight that without any serious repercussions. Future adoptive parents (or any other of the myriad of different family structures that might exist) may not have that ability, so it's important to me to stand up for things when I can to hopefully make things easier for people in the future.