Women....if you knew you had a good chance of preterm labor, would you get pregnant?

[gshoemate]

I need advice. With my DS, I went into labor at 24 weeks due to a shortened cervix. I spent 7 weeks in the hospital (an hour and a half away from home, it was the closest hospital with a neonatal unit). And the rest of the pregnancy on bedrest. After having to stop labor 3 times, they finally had to jumpstart my labor just a few days short of term.

At that time, my doctor said if I was to have another baby, my chances are high that it would happen again. But there are things that can be done to help prevent it if the problem is found soon enough. And she encouraged us to have more.

Fast forward to yesterday, DH announced that he would like to have another. For the past 2 1/2 years I pretty much decided I wasn't having anymore children so this was a shock to me. I have had a knot in my stomach. Part of me really wants another one. But part of me also says that if I went into it knowing that I could go into preterm labor, and if it did happen and something happened to the baby, I would never be able to forgive myself for making the decision to get pregnant.

Sorry to ramble.....I just don't know what to do. I have been blessed with 2 beautiful children, I don't know if I want to chance it. Any thoughts?

 

[diznee25]

This is something only you and your husband can decide. Weigh the Pros and Cons of this important decision. Personally, with all you went thru with that pregnancy, I don't see how you would try it again.

Another choice would be to adopt if you both really want a child, but don't want to go thru the risks of another pregnancy.

Diznee25

 

[EsmeraldaX]

I don't have any kids but I agree with diznee25...

Only you can make that choice. If you really want to have another child, and you feel it is worth the risks, then you should try. Be prepared for the worst and hope for the best. Talk to your doctor often and make sure you are doing all you can to make sure you and your baby stay healthy.

You could also adopt.

and Best in whatever you decide.

 

[marymrg]

I would (and have) talked to a maternal/fetal specialist. See what your options are, what can be done to lessen the risks and decide from there. Also, see if he/she will be able to monitor you as well as your OB/Gyn. Good luck with whatever you decide.

 

[kpgclark]

Honestly I wouldn't take the risk. It isn't fair to the baby. Also if you are in the hospital towards the end who will take care of your children? What if there are complications with the birth? My opinion-- don't tempt fate. If you really want another child there are lots of children waiting for loving parents to adopt them.

 

[skuttle]

What a tough decision. I agree that it is only a decision that you and your DH can make...and actually really you since it's your body and you'd be experiencing all those difficulties. I'm not sure what I would do. Before making any decisions, I would definitely try to get as much information as possible before deciding.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Hey that's me! I have 2 girls and I do not want to risk it either. The last time it about killed me!

The NO's win, imho.

 

[Tinks]

I was at risk for pre-term labor and had a cerclage procedure done to help prevent it. It did help and things went fine. I went into labor on my own 5 days before my due date. This was my 3rd child.

I'm not saying the same would be true for you, but I wouldn't say NO right off the bat. I'd talk to your OB or a specialist and get their opinions and decide from there.

Best of luck! I truly think it would go better this time because the doctors know ahead of time you are a risk and would be able to help prevent early labor.

 

[Simba's Mom]

Have you gotten a second opinion from a high-risk Obstetrician specialist. That's what I did. My first OB had done testing and determined that all my babies would be premature, as my first one had been. And since I suffered the pain of the first one ultimately dying, I didn't want to take that chance. However, after God was kind enough to give me 2 healthy children, with help from my high-risk OB, I decided then to quit. Only you can decide if you want to chance any more. When I had none I chanced it, but after 2, think seriously also on the potential impact on them (Mom in the hospital, etc.)

 

[teachingmyown]

Everyone has an opinion based on their experiences and values. Each of those opinions are going to differ from question to question. Your question was... "I'm at risk for pre-term labor,...hubby wants...what would you do?"

But what if your question were different...

"I've had 6 babies, ...hubby wants...what would you do?"
"I like my job,...hubby wants...what would you do?"
"I never thought about kids,...hubby wants,...what would you do?"

This list of possibilities is endless. What they all have in common though is that this is --finally, and bottom line-- a decision you and hubby will have to make for yourselves. Even if every wellmeaning friend and stranger in the world agree on what "they" would do, that shouldn't affect the decision you and hubby ultimately make for your family.

Should you decide to go for it, your doctor will be able to help manage the risks involved. If you decide not to, then it needs to be a decision that both of you are ok with. Either way, my advice is to live a life dictated by things more important than fear. Fear limits and prevents. It tries to prevent us from soaring by telling us we might fall. I believe in soaring. If the ONLY thing keeping you from having another child is fear, then that, IMO, isn't enough.

 

[PrincessTori]

I know exactly where you are. My DD, who is now 4, was born at 22 weeks gestation. She had first tried to come at 18 weeks and they were able to go in a do a cervical cerclage. I then spent two weeks on total bedrest at the hospital. Then was released to spend the rest of the pregnancy on total bedrest (except for using the bathroom) at home. I made it two weeks at home, getting up only to use the bathroom and to shower off every other day, that I even done sitting down on one of those shower seats. Then my water just broke. I asked for a transfer to the closest hosptial with a NICU equipped to try and save a 22 weeker. Our local hospital has a NICU, but only do hospice for babies born before 24 weeks. Needless to say she is our walking, talking miracle. The first 22 weeker that UVA had survive. She is just perfect. Despite everything we were told that would be "wrong" with her.

However, seeing what she went through to survive. She had a very very tough time, we almost lost her several times and seeing other babies not survive while we were there. I just don't know if I could put another child through that. Now our family and friends say we should have faith. Which I do, but deep down, I just don't think I could do it or know that my child is suffering. I know what I went through. Not getting to hold my child for 10 weeks, and not knowing what I was going to be greated with when I walked in that hospital. Tori still wears many scars from her battle, though she don't remember the fight.

I have thought seriously about adoption.

Just know that there are others in the same situation as you. It does, as others have said, come down to you and your husband. Don't let anyone else push you one way or the other. Family has been our biggest hurdle. They live away and were not with us on a day to day basis. Because of that I don't believe they have a right telling us we should have more. Sometimes I really wish that my doctor would tell us not to try again. At least I could deal with it and move on and tell the family to do the same. Its the fear of the unknown that really plagues me.

So sorry you have to make this very hard decision.

We are here for you.

 

[Jasminesmommy]

Were both your kids preterm risks? You maybe fine if you let yor doctor know ahead of time so it can be done safely and under close supervision. But you and your husband have to decide this. Sit down anc talk about the risk and if its worth it.If it was me I would go ahead with it. My friend was in the same boat. She was pregnant with twins and lost them at 5 months and the doctor told her she would never go full term but she had 2 full term babies.

 

[pumba]

not to us........You already have stated that the doctor encouraged you to have another child.......that to me is more important answer then from us.....

 

[piglet too]

I too would make an appointment to talk to your OB and find a high-risk OB to talk to as well.

I went into pre-term labor at 25 weeks with my daughter, and she is my third. (The only problem I had with either of boys was that I lost all of my fluid at 37 weeks with my second son.) The medications did the trick, but I had to continualy up my dose to stop the contractions. Finally when even the highest "allowed" dose was failing, since I had made it to 36 weeks, they took me off the meds to give her a chance to be born free of the drugs. Even though we knew that she would be our last, I still asked my doctors what they thought if I was to have another. They all agreed that it would be a high risk with no guarantee that I would make it as long as I did this time. However, there was also nothing to say that I would have any problems at all. They told me that if we did to decide to have another that I would just need to be monitered a lot closer and that I would be labled a high-risk pregnancy.

Good luck with your decision.

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

My cervix thinned with my 3rd child around my 6th month. My doctor put me on bedrest. That was so hard with 2 other children.

Looking back I know that I did way too much and could have put our baby in danger. Is your husband willing to pay for someone to come and help do all the things a mother of 2 has to do? We never hired anyone but should have because I was foolish for being up on my feet. At the time my children were 5 and 7. Your children are younger. Just my experience.

We love our 3rd but he is a lot of extra work!

Lori

 

[HollyJoy]

Let me ask you this? Was it worth it? My guess is that your answer is yes. Only you and your husband can really make the decision, for it will affect you the most. I think that working w/your doctor, you'll have a good chance of things going just fine.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

I agree with finding a high Risk Pregnancy specialist before taking any further steps. I don't think you can really make a decision until you have a better idea of what they think might happen.

 

[Blondie]

I agree with the advice of talking to a high risk specialist before getting pregnant. Call the hospitals in your area and ask for a referral to a Perinatologist.

Good luck!

 

[Piglet]

I know exactly what you are going through. DH & I are trying to decide on another baby. DD will be 8 yo in the fall and she was born with a genetic disease. Another baby would have 25% chance of having it also.

DH & I dicuss it all the time and came to the conclusion that anytime a women is pregnant there are chances that things can go wrong. We are trying to have faith that God will only give us what we can handle.

You need to talk, talk, talk with your DH and together decide what you can plan for and how important it is to you both. At least you know what to look for and your doctor knows that you are at risk. Maybe you could talk to your OB/GYN and let them know your fears and get their opinion.

A neighbor of mine had 2 children & had preterm labor with both, then got pregnant with the 3rd and went past her due date with no problems. All are happy & healthy.

Good Luck to you!!!!

Melinda

 

[blowinbubbles]

I didn't read all the replies, but I have to agree with those who say "get a second opinion." So many things could have changed by now, anywhere from the chemistry of your body, to different treatments available.

Oh, and if it were me, I would probably try for another one, because that's just how I am!

I wish you the best of luck!