Will bringing our niece change anything?

[lmnholds]

My very fortunate dc's have been to WDW 4 times in their short lives(7yr old and 4 yr old.) My SIL kids on the other hand have never been and they really don't have the $ to ever go. She has a 13 yr old son who did get to go to MGM with a friend. then she has a 9 yr dd,a 7 yr old ds and a 1 yr old dd. I would love to take both the 7 and 9 yr old with us but that will be a strech for us financially too. plus we are staying at the YC for 5 nights with the 40% discount and the AKL for 2 nights also with the discount. We really only want to stay in deluxe resorts. So I was thinking of offering to take our 9 yr old niece this time and then promise to take the 7 yr old next time we go. If we did this, would we have to change our resorts? Can 5 people fit in the rooms at the YC and AKL? Will Disney let us add a non family member to our reservation or will we lose our discount? And finally, does it seem unfair to only take 1 of my sil's kids?

 

[Atchley]

Speaking as someone who was once 9yrs with a 7yr DSis, I would not recommend taking just one. Believe me, from the time I was very little I was a Disney Freak! We never got to go to Disney when I was young. My first time was when I was 30. (The bottom listings as children are all my husbands) I would have never dreamed of going to WDW without my DSis (Or my DB 5 at that time). It would be very hard for both girls to take only one. The oldest for feeling guilty that she is excited and the youngest for feeling left out. In the end though, it is up to you.

 

[BionicEar]

... out of fairness you'll have to take the other.

Your younger niece will definitely think you are favoring the older sis. I'd take both, or neither one at all. Just my humble opinion.

 

[lmnholds]

I agree it does seem somewhat unfair but I'd also like to add that the 7 yr old is very difficult. He still has accidents on a regular basis and I'm not only talking about #1 either! I don't even like when he comes to spend the night. Last year I took them both to a local carnival and the 7 yr old kept wondering off and was kinda in his own little world. My sil swears there is nothing wrong with him and he hasn't been diagnosed with anything either. That's why I thought if we took him next time which would probably be in a year or two maybe he would outgrow some of these things by then. Especially the accidents!

 

[NeedaVacation03]

I would have no problem just taking the 9 year old. I would just make sure to let the younger know that he gets to go next without the older one. Present it in relationship to something else-birthday, religious event, whatever works for you. Then it is very important that you remember to do it for the younger one. I believe that children can wait and need to learn that patience is important. He will probably be upset at first,but I think you can work it out.
That way you can stay in the same room and not have to switch. You should be able to add her on with no problem Go and have a good time

 

[BionicEar]

I agree it does seem somewhat unfair but I'd also like to add that the 7 yr old is very difficult. He still has accidents on a regular basis and I'm not only talking about #1 either! I don't even like when he comes to spend the night. Last year I took them both to a local carnival and the 7 yr old kept wondering off and was kinda in his own little world. My sil swears there is nothing wrong with him and he hasn't been diagnosed with anything either. That's why I thought if we took him next time which would probably be in a year or two maybe he would outgrow some of these things by then. Especially the accidents!

Speaking as a mother of a child with very severe ADHD and borderline Aspergers, it's still NOT FAIR, and it's almost like punishing the child.

FWIW, my difficult son who tends to wander off does extremely well at Disney. He does very well sticking with us (he doesn't dare wander because he knows he'll probably never find us if he does!) and quite frankly, Disney is therapy for him.

And no, they will not "outgrow" it. The longer you wait for a diagnosis, the more difficult it will be to help the child overcome it. Get that child some help now. I'm sorry if I seem rude and blunt, but it really burns me when people think that a child on the autistic spectrum will "outgrow" what is truly a neurological disorder. I am a strong believer in early intervention, and I personally benefitted from it myself, having been born with a severe to profound hearing loss.

 

[lost*in*cyberspace]

I see nothing wrong with only taking the older child and promising the younger child a trip when he reaches the age of 9.

 

[amylevan]

My grandparents very nicely took me to Disney with them when I was little. My brother is 4 years younger than me, and they took him a few years later. We survived.

 

[bethbuchall]

What kind of room do you have booked at AKL? Some of those sleep only 4.

 

[taximomfor4]

I think that while it is a beautiful gesture, the 2 are awfully close in age. It would be very sad for the 7yo to try and understand something like that. They are not 15 and 17.

Perhaps plan a trip where you can include both of them, in the future, and ask the parents to help just a little with cost. If they even just contributed the admission costs, it would be something!!

JMO, since you asked. I think you are very sweet for wanting to do this for them, but I just think their ages make it really, really hard...and the 7yo already has apparent issues. Wouldn't want it to feel like punishment, ya know?

Beth

 

[lmnholds]

Well I talked to my sil and she has no problem with us taking 1 of her kids at a time. in fact she said she didn't think her 7 yr old could handle going away for a whole week without them. She said she really wants to take her kids but they just can't aford it especially with 4 kids. She said if we offered to take her 9 yr old dd with a promise to take the younger 1 during a future trip she would be fine with it.
Our YC room should be no problem but I think we'll have to switch our AKL room. Maybe we should do a split stay with a MK resort since this will probably be our niece's only childhood trip to WDW. Or should we try to get a bigger room at AKL because that's a once in a lifetime experience for a child too.
I'm going to call a CM today to see what our options are. Also would it be rude to expect my sil to pay for her airfare and park tickets if we take care of the room and food?
To the poster who said my nephew needs help- I have suspacted autism for quite a while. But he is in 1st grade and the teacher has never said anything. Also my sil is very educated and does not feel there is anything wrong with him. She acknowledges that he is immature and sometimes a little spacey. She also knows tha accident situation is not normal but she thinks it's pure laziness on his part. So. there's really not much I can do about it.

 

[jnorth1007]

I am going to come from a completely different front, LOL. I took my DN with us on our last trip. It was the first trip for my three children and my DD's 4th birthday present and we had room for one more in the room so I took her since I figured her parents would never put the money out on something so frivolous (their words) as a Disney trip. I love my niece but I regretted it the whole time. It added to my expenses in ways I never thought of: everytime I bought something as a suprise for my daughter I had to buy her one, she was not raised by me so had behavoiral tendencies that I would never allow my children to get away with and I spent the whole time trying to get her to get on board with the way we do things. I really caused a distraction and took the focus from my own kids and put it on another child. I would take her only if you know that you will not have to spend the whole trip focused on her. As for the younger son, I agree he should be able to go to Disney but with his parents who are experienced with handling his behavioral and physical limitations. It wouldn't be a good experience for any of you if you are frustrated the whole time trying to deal with a child you have no experience in dealing with.

 

[AlexWyattMommy]

I would ask you Sister if she can afford to help with plane fare & admissions costs BEFORE changes to your reservations. There is a good possibility that she just can't. And you would want to know that as soon as possible.

PS - I think it is great of you to want to do this.

 

[lmnholds]

I have to say I do not think my dn's behavior would be a problem. I can say many things about my sil and we definitly don't raise our children the same but her daughter is awesome. She is polite, helpful and not 1 bit spoiled. She's better than my won kids lol. The $ may be more of an issue since there are always hidden expenses. Plus we want to do the Hoop De Doo Revue and a princess breakfast and some other pricey dinners. We are by no means rich but my dh does well(I stay home) and the extra $ would not break us. Still, it will be more than usual. Especially if we need to upgrade our AKL room.

 

[Nicole786]

When i was younger my parents took me to disneyworld. My cousin (who is the same age as me) was living in a home with a not so good father (i'll leave it at that) so my parents took him. He ws five and his sister was almost one.

A few years later, my brother was born, he was about 2, i was about 7 or 8 and my cousin was 8 or 9. We took him again, leaving his sister (and new baby brother) behind.

I was never an issue, and as a matter of fact, we're going this march and we're taking my cousin again...the only difference is that now he's 21 instead of 8 lol!

 

[Willow25]

I personally think it is awesome that you are going to give your DN's the opportunity to experience Disney when they are young enough to really experience the magic. Last year I took my three neices and nephews to Disneyland and it was such a great experience. My sister could never afford to take them and I felt like I was giving them a real gift. Luckily I was able to afford to take all three. However if I was not able to I would have had no problem taking them on three different trips. I would have simply said that when they each turned a certain age that was a present for them. That is part of life the oldest child almost always experiences life first. I was the youngest of four girls in my family and I can remember staying at home a lot with my parents while my sisters were on dates etc.

GO FOR IT!!

 

[lmnholds]

Thanks everyone. I spoke to a really nice CM and we switched our trip around a little to accomodate 5 in the room should my niece join us. We are now spending the first 2 nights at the Contempo with a MK view and then the remaining 5 nights at the YC. I told my sil that we would be happy to take our dn and asked if they would cover her plane fare and park tickets. We would then pay for all her entertainment and food. SIL had to talk it over with her hubby. I told them they had months to figure it out since now both our rooms could fit 5 without a problem. I'm going to make my ADRs for 5 people and we can always change it to 4 at a later date. I do feel bad for my nephew but we'll just have to promise that we will take him with us next trip.

 

[mericletwins]

I would have no problem just taking the 9 year old. I would just make sure to let the younger know that he gets to go next without the older one. Present it in relationship to something else-birthday, religious event, whatever works for you. Then it is very important that you remember to do it for the younger one. I believe that children can wait and need to learn that patience is important. He will probably be upset at first,but I think you can work it out.
That way you can stay in the same room and not have to switch. You should be able to add her on with no problem Go and have a good time

I agree. I have three children w/i 14 months of each other and they are learning what one gets the others do not. One way you could present this is like my parents did when we were younger. They didn't have a lot of money to take us all on vacation so they took one of us at a time when we turned 10. We each got to pick where we wanted to go (w/i reason-I WANTED to go to WDW, but went to Virginia). I think if you present it as a rite of passage, say turning 9, or about to turn 10, then what you are doing is fine. Of course I don't think kids having the same thing all the time is the same as being fair.

All the kids in the family will never get to do everything at the same time, why not make it a fact of life? Will they all get to drive at the same time, start dating at the same time? No...it is what it is. My kids at 7,7 and 6 no that they all don't get the same experiences at the same time. Sometimes they do...sometimes they don't. It is what it is. Go w/ your DN and have fun!