Why would any woman do this?

[Disney Doll]

Two sides to all stories..

Maybe the wife was really distant, cut off her husband from relations and was just a real $%$^.

You do know the wife could be problem here..

Than rather than starting an affair first, he should have divorced the problem wife first, and then moved on to a different relationship.

And in the end, we have several children who are victims of the "adults" stupidity.

 

[Disney Doll]

When you figure out the "why" of that situation, explain to me the "why" of this situation.

2008 - My married sister took up with a married man. (He and his wife were separated and she was living with another man.) Sister moved in with married man telling her husband that she and he needed a break so she was renting rooms from a friend (1 each for her and her daughter and son).

Sister's DH, after nearly a year, threatens a divorce so sister and kids move back "home". She continues to see married man/boyfriend. She thinks he is okay with this. He's not and starts seeing a girl he dated before sister came along. She gets mad at married man/boyfriend. Decides to get her own place. Tells DH they may be able to repair marriage so they "date". (BTW - she was only delaying divorce because he was paying all the bills including health insurance.)

She and married man/boyfriend get back together, DH divorced her just this past summer ... she's mad at DH for ruining her financially. Afterall, she's been unemployed since Dec. 2008.

And she's still sore with married man/boyfriend for cheating on her.

Can we say "Drama Queen?"

Ya know, there's no pill that cures "stupid"...and that's too bad...

 

[Disney Doll]

I'm so glad I kicked my cheating ex to the curb 10 years ago. I don't feel sorry for the one he left me for considering she knew he was married and had kids. Heck she'd been to our house a few times as he was her boss. She met our kids and me.

I just don't understand the women who think that he won't do it to her after he did it to someone else to be with her. I used to get calls from her after we divorced and he dumped her wondering why he did it to her. I always answered..."Because that is what HE does! DUH!"


I hope the wife kicks him to the curb and moves on in her own life. It was the best thing I ever did!

I have always questioned the intelligence of someone who would mnarry someone who has proven that they will cheat on their spouse.

Not referring to you, luvmythree, but to your ex-DH's former mistress (wow! that's a mouthful!)

 

[Mermaid02]

I have always questioned the intelligence of someone who would mnarry someone who has proven that they will cheat on their spouse.

Not referring to you, luvmythree, but to your ex-DH's former mistress (wow! that's a mouthful!)

I guess that's my question too!

 

[Carly_Roach]

The question is why would any woman do this? To which I have to answer: I don't really care why. It's not my drama.

In most cases, this isn't a question being asked because someone really wants to know. This is a rhetorical question being asked so we can all beat the drum again of how scummy men are and how slutty some women are and lets all bash our ex-husbands again because it makes us feel good.

Why would any woman do this? Who cares? Why ask why? They just do.

I will say this, though: unless you are the wife, the husband or the mistress/mister party involved, it's truly none of your business what's going on in other people's marriages in the first place. Butt out.

 

[punkin]

Than rather than starting an affair first, he should have divorced the problem wife first, and then moved on to a different relationship.

And in the end, we have several children who are victims of the "adults" stupidity.

This. Definitely. No one says you have to stay in a bad marriage, just that you should keep it in your pants until after the marriage is over.

 

[Mermaid02]

The question is why would any woman do this? To which I have to answer: I don't really care why. It's not my drama.

In most cases, this isn't a question being asked because someone really wants to know. This is a rhetorical question being asked so we can all beat the drum again of how scummy men are and how slutty some women are and lets all bash our ex-husbands again because it makes us feel good.

Why would any woman do this? Who cares? Why ask why? They just do.

I will say this, though: unless you are the wife, the husband or the mistress/mister party involved, it's truly none of your business what's going on in other people's marriages in the first place. Butt out.

You never disappoint Carly

 

[Carly_Roach]

You never disappoint Carly

Neither do you, Mermaid.

 

[Mermaid02]

Neither do you, Mermaid.

 

[castleview]

It's been my experience that men who cheat haven't grown up and accepted responsibility yet and women who hook up with married men are horribly insecure and/or not nice people.

 

[sbell111]

The thing that really bothers me about these threads is that its always about the woman. Instead of asking why women get involved with married men, I think we should be asking why married men cheat on their wives.

Studies have shown that women are actually more likely to cheat than men. Go figure.

 

[sbell111]

Get involved with a married man- watch him abandon his wife and kids- move in with him, and have a baby with him all before he's divorced? Seriously? What happens if he maybe gets a date in the mail for a divorce hearing and calls his wife and tells her to please postpone because he thinks he made a mistake? Who is the injured party then? The guy is a JERK- and showed his true colors from the beginning of the relationship. I guess I find it hard to feel sorry for the pregnant mistress. And yes, this just happened to someone I know.

The answer is simple:

Love resides in the heart, not the head.

 

[pigletgirl]

I have no idea why a woman would do that, however it only takes once to get someone pregnant! that is the bum deal about it all.

The person i feel for the most is the unborn baby. He/she is going to have a tough life.

 

[Mermaid02]

I have no idea why a woman would do that, however it only takes once to get someone pregnant! that is the bum deal about it all.

The person i feel for the most is the unborn baby. He/she is going to have a tough life.

Don't forget about the 2 children Mr. Wonderful already had! All the kids are going to be impacted!

 

[horseshowmom]

Get involved with a married man- watch him abandon his wife and kids- move in with him, and have a baby with him all before he's divorced? Seriously? What happens if he maybe gets a date in the mail for a divorce hearing and calls his wife and tells her to please postpone because he thinks he made a mistake? Who is the injured party then? The guy is a JERK- and showed his true colors from the beginning of the relationship. I guess I find it hard to feel sorry for the pregnant mistress. And yes, this just happened to someone I know.

I don't feel sorry for either one of them.

Two sides to all stories..

Maybe the wife was really distant, cut off her husband from relations and was just a real $%$^.

You do know the wife could be problem here..

Then, as others have said, you get a divorce and go from there.

Who's excusing the man? I recall calling him a jerk on the first page of the thread.

Absolutely!

I know a woman who had a two year affair with another married man. He apparently wanted to be with her, but she didn't want to leave her husband and destroy the family.

Her husband eventually found out about it, and offered a forgive and forget situation, but she chose to divorce and kicked her husband out, and told her lover how excited she was that they could now be together while her husband was packing up his things right in front of him.

Her lover freaked and broke up with her. (had no intentions of leaving his wife). He pointed out that if she was willing to toss a 15 year relationship for an office fling once, how could she be trusted?

Guess who pays the penalty for this sordid affair? The husband who was cheated on. (between $1500 in child support per month and $800 in spousal support per month). No Fault divorce at its finest.

Now that's funny! Talk about the pot and the kettle!

I do feel sorry for the husband who was cheated on, but he should have never agreed to a no fault divorce.

 

[bdoyledimou]

Now that's funny! Talk about the pot and the kettle!

I do feel sorry for the husband who was cheated on, but he should have never agreed to a no fault divorce.

there is no other type of divorce in my province.
(the only benefit a claim of adultery gives you is a 6 month finalization vs a 1 year finalization).

 

[bettymae1121]

Not that it excuses the behavior of the mistress (married is married) but we don't know what kind of sob-story Mr. Jerk spun her about how horible his marriage was, he could have told her his wife cheated on him, she's verbaly abusive, controling, etc. Stories like that can make an otherwise decent woman justify it in her own head, especially if she's insecure and lonely to begin with.

Some women live to go after married men, but I think most mistresses are spun a story that allows them to justify it to themselves, and allows them to believe the cheating scum is really the victim in the whole thing and that with her, it's TRUE LOVE and he'd never leave her, since she won't treat him the way the EVIL EX-WIFE did.

Like I said, I'm not justifying their behavior, cheating is cheating - and I don't feel badly for women that fall for the "my wife treats me like crap" line. But I'm willing to bet that's how a lot of women are able to make it "right" in their own heads about what they're doing. They're only fooling themselves, of course, the rest of us see right through it.

ETA: I think the same can hold true for a lot of men that enter relationships with married women. I didn't mean to make it sound like only men cheat, plenty of women cheat too and it's just as wrong.

 

[horseshowmom]

there is no other type of divorce in my province.
(the only benefit a claim of adultery gives you is a 6 month finalization vs a 1 year finalization).

I understand. In our state you have the option of no fault or with cause. Under that circumstance, the innocent husband really got the shaft, didn't he?

 

[tlbwriter]

I have always questioned the intelligence of someone who would mnarry someone who has proven that they will cheat on their spouse.

Yes, that always puzzles me as well. Why would you want to marry someone who, without a doubt, will cheat on their spouse?

 

[FireDancer]

They are both equally scum. The husband or wife who cheats and the person whom then cheat with (provided they know of course).

You can't rape the willing so to absolve either party in the relationship of their responsibility by claiming it is either the result of a bad marriage or the result of insecurity is just making an excuse.

I could even understand (not excuse) a little side fling that isn't expected to go anywhere but anyone who gets into a relationship with an adulterer and thinks that someone who cheats with you won't cheat on you is just delusional.