Why would any woman do this?

[Robinrs]

If the woman knows that he is married, then I blame them BOTH. If she was unaware, well, you really can't blame her and it is all on him. When I was really young, I met a guy through a coworker. We hung out at his place. Total bachelor pad, no sign of a woman anywhere. We dated for 3 MONTHS before I found out from someone other than him that he was married. Talk about shocked. And I dropped him. Fast.

If she doesn't do it he'll find someone else who will. A louse is a louse and he has an entire pool of stupid women who will eventually fall for his stupid lines. If everyone was like you there would BE no problems because he'd get enough nos he'd finally QUIT.

The only one of the BOTH who is going against a vow is the married one.

When I was younger I met the greatest guy. He was, in my stupid young eyes, total perfection! He was a total gentlemen, had a nice place, nice car, the whole nine yards.

I found out in a matter of months that he was not only married, we met while his wife was in the hospital having his second child! He invited me over when she was in the hospital with her baby extremely sick..

I dumped him, too but I'm sure with his mindset he went after someone else.

 

[RitaZ.]

No- but he's good looking (just ask him!)

You know what Judge Judy says, "Beauty fades, dumb is forever."

Married couples grow apart for a whole lot of reasons. If a man has reached the point where he no longer loves his wife, is disgusted by her, has been "cut off", etc., do the right thing. Have the decency and courage to be honest with her before turning to someone outside of your marriage. The same goes for women that cheat.

 

[jobhunter]

You know what Judge Judy says, "Beauty fades. Stupid is forever."

Married couples grow apart for a whole lot of reasons. If a man has reached the point where he no longer loves his wife, is disgusted by her, has been "cut off" or etc., do the right thing. Have the decency and courage to be honest with her before turning to someone outside of your marriage. The same goes for women that cheat.

This.

Of course there are bad marriages, cold wives, emotionally distant husbands.

I just don't believe a bad marriage is an excuse to turn off your morals. Since when is personal integrity conditional? Either you have it, or you don't. A bad marriage, no sex, etc--those are excellent ground for divorce. Leave with some decency...unless you never had any to begin with and then you'll use any excuse...or just make one up.

 

[a1tinkfans]

Get involved with a married man- watch him abandon his wife and kids- move in with him, and have a baby with him all before he's divorced? Seriously? What happens if he maybe gets a date in the mail for a divorce hearing and calls his wife and tells her to please postpone because he thinks he made a mistake? Who is the injured party then? The guy is a JERK- and showed his true colors from the beginning of the relationship. I guess I find it hard to feel sorry for the pregnant mistress. And yes, this just happened to someone I know.

For the wife, Good Riddance..........
For the Kids: Those poor things.... what an example
For the Mistress: Hope she Learned something here....Why on Earth Any woman would have no self respect and such a sad opinion of herself to find herself in this predicament is beyond me, Sad situation all around!
I hope it works out....somehow................

 

[Tina]

I know a woman who did this. She started seeing this guy who was not only married, but had one child at home and another on the way. He actually left his wife just a week before the baby came. She then got pregnant and they got married (after his divorce was final). Now she's at home with the baby and guess what? Yup, he's already out cheating on her. I can't even begin to feel sorry for her.

 

[MM27]

Get involved with a married man- watch him abandon his wife and kids- move in with him, and have a baby with him all before he's divorced? Seriously? What happens if he maybe gets a date in the mail for a divorce hearing and calls his wife and tells her to please postpone because he thinks he made a mistake? Who is the injured party then? The guy is a JERK- and showed his true colors from the beginning of the relationship. I guess I find it hard to feel sorry for the pregnant mistress. And yes, this just happened to someone I know.

The poor kid stuck in the middle of two idiot parents is the injured party. The kid didn't have a choice here.

 

[eliza61]

When a man marries his mistress, he simply creates a new job opportunity ~ James Goldsmith

 

[Mermaid02]

The thing that really bothers me about these threads is that its always about the woman. Instead of asking why women get involved with married men, I think we should be asking why married men cheat on their wives.

Because those men are pigs.

I just don't see how a mistress doesn't ever think he would do TO HER, what he did WITH HER.

 

[Gigi22]

The man who marries his mistress is just creating a vacancy. There you have it. Next?

 

[MushyMushy]

Or maybe the wife cheated as well.



He didn't go back to the wife.

The OP presented that as a scenario -- "What happens if he maybe gets a date in the mail for a divorce hearing and calls his wife and tells her to please postpone because he thinks he made a mistake? " Then said it happened to someone she knew.

 

[DebbieB]

I think a woman who does this usually has low self esteem. He sweet talks her and she falls for it. The ironic thing that happens many times is after he divorces his wife (or she him), he doesn't marry the woman he cheated with, he dumps her and then marries someone else!

 

[LivinInTheCastle]

Alot of them do it, because it is practically glorified in this day and age. Look at "Brangeline" , Hollywood acts like they are some super power couple we should all strive to be like. Really? 'Cuz as I remember it they were hittin' the sheets even though EVERYONE knows Brad was married to Jen.

 

[cm8]

The thing that really bothers me about these threads is that its always about the woman. Instead of asking why women get involved with married men, I think we should be asking why married men cheat on their wives.

I know that's right. I am so tired of hearing that he is only being a man, I'm sorry but we women have needs too and if we are able to control our urges so should men be able too. He made a commitment to his wife and God and he promised to forsake ALL others not take what ever slid his way. I have zero respect for someone that cheats on their spouse.

There are men and women out here that CAN be faithful and really mean what they say when they marry. It does not matter if the wife was cold, acting a certain way, or losing the battle with maintaining her sexy, he promised forever and always to include the fact that his and her waistline would change, that he would lose his boyish looks and that his equipment would not function all the time.

IF we women can put up with that, than men should gladly put up with what we women endure to birth and raise your children, take care of you , your home and make everything better as only a women can. Men were not chosen to have babies for a reason. I am reminded of this fact on a daily basis when I have to deal with my infant and her father who both act the same age when sick,,

 

[tinatark]

we know someone in a similar situation - wife cheated on hubby with his friend, left him for the new guy... they got married, while she was pregnant, he started cheating on her with a (married) friend, now there's a baby, 2 divorces, and an upcoming wedding.

Scorned wife is , but what's that saying, what comes around, goes around?

 

[LivinInTheCastle]

we know someone in a similar situation - wife cheated on hubby with his friend, left him for the new guy... they got married, while she was pregnant, he started cheating on her with a (married) friend, now there's a baby, 2 divorces, and an upcoming wedding.

Scorned wife is , but what's that saying, what comes around, goes around?

 

[MushyMushy]

Who's excusing the man? I recall calling him a jerk on the first page of the thread.

 

[Mermaid02]

Who's excusing the man? I recall calling him a jerk on the first page of the thread.

Exactly- I think my point was misunderstood. He's a dog- plain and simple- they "whys" don't matter. What I was saying is WHY would a woman hook up with a man like that? A man who is so willing to abandon his family- WHY does she think that he is a good catch? Why does she think he would be loyal to her and her child?

Why does she think he won't do TO HER- what he did to his wife WITH HER???

 

[bdoyledimou]

I know a woman who had a two year affair with another married man. He apparently wanted to be with her, but she didn't want to leave her husband and destroy the family.

Her husband eventually found out about it, and offered a forgive and forget situation, but she chose to divorce and kicked her husband out, and told her lover how excited she was that they could now be together while her husband was packing up his things right in front of him.

Her lover freaked and broke up with her. (had no intentions of leaving his wife). He pointed out that if she was willing to toss a 15 year relationship for an office fling once, how could she be trusted?

Guess who pays the penalty for this sordid affair? The husband who was cheated on. (between $1500 in child support per month and $800 in spousal support per month). No Fault divorce at its finest.

 

[MushyMushy]

Exactly- I think my point was misunderstood. He's a dog- plain and simple- they "whys" don't matter. What I was saying is WHY would a woman hook up with a man like that? A man who is so willing to abandon his family- WHY does she think that he is a good catch? Why does she think he would be loyal to her and her child?

Why does she think he won't do TO HER- what he did to his wife WITH HER???

Exactly. It's so hard to feel sorry for someone who knowingly dates/marries somebody who would do that to another person.

 

[Mermaid02]

Exactly. It's so hard to feel sorry for someone who knowingly dates/marries somebody who would do that to another person.

Her baby isn't even born yet and he's already itching to move on (back to his wife- I hope she doesn't take him though).