Why Won't You Give Up Your Seat on the Bus?

[CleveRocks]

I would suggest an extra large helping of understanding and compassion in your next 16 years.

Sorry, I just can't sit on this one ....

DISCLAIMER: I'm not trying to speak for "all" people with disabilities, I'm just speaking from experience regarding the people I've personally known, hundreds of them over the years.

If someone with a disability HATES being patronized and pitied, if they don't want special treatment except to have barriers removed, then treating them as a special, sad case INSULTS them.

Let's take the example of Ellen's Energy Adventure at Epcot. The pre-show is in a HUGE, flat open space, a barrier-free environment. If there's a long line out the door, most of the people with disabilities whom I've worked with would NOT want to automatically go to the front of the line. They would want to wait in line just like everybody else. WHY? Because the fact that they are in a wheelchair does not prevent them from waiting in the line, getting into the pre-show and enjoying the pre-show. The folks I'm talking about, if they were brought to the front of that line and let in early JUST BECAUSE they were using a wheelchair, it would be felt as a shameful experience to them. They would feel badly. They would feel embarassed. I'm not telling you how I THINK they SHOULD feel, I'm telling you what REAL PEOPLE TELL ME.

Now, in the above scenario, I'd like you to think about which is more "understanding and compassionate," as you put it: embarrassing and mortifying the person and making them feel less than equal, or allowing the person to do WHAT THEY WANT and wait in line just like everybody else?

If you think that you know what's best for them better than they do, then YOU are the one who lacks understanding and compassion.

I'm hoping you just misread or skimmed over my earlier post, because it's quite clear in that post and in this one that I'm discussing what people themselves (the sample I've met) want, NOT what I think should happen. Comprende?

 

[CleveRocks]

It seems for you, the opposite of pity is compassion. I disagree.

No, I agree with you that pity and compassion are not opposites. If I pity someone or something, that pity comes from a genuine sense of compassion.

I'm saying, perhaps not too effectively, that pity and PRIDE AND DIGNITY are opposites. Someone who is pitied is, in part, robbed of their pride and dignity.

I've been told over and over again that in addition to the obvious physical problems resulting from an injury or illness, that the dents and dings in one's pride and dignity are equally insufferable.

Don't get me wrong. I've also worked with numerous individuals who loved a good ol' "pity party" and even though they hated the position they were in, they loved the attention and the "favorable" treatment. And please don't misconstrue what I'm saying -- I've NEVER met anyone who said that their disability was worth any of the attention or lawsuit-based financial compensation. I'm just saying that there was a small minority who dealt with their situation by loving "special" treatment.

God-willing, I hope never to know which way I'd feel if I was in their position. I hope I'd be with the majority, but honestly, you just never know.

 

[ducklite]

Probably only the kindess of your heart.....

Could there be another reason why they couldn't get out of the parks?

Or maybe they over estimated their own stamina/pain tolerance, so we should just say "tough luck buddy"?

Or because a man gets on before a woman, it wouldn't be the proper and courteous thing for the man to offer her his seat?

I submit it would be proper, courteous and compassionate.......

I do not expact a man to give up his seat for me and would politely decline such an offer.

I also use sommon sense and leave before I'm falling over from exhaustion.

Like I said, failure to use good judgement and common sense should not be rewarded.

Anne

 

[bstnsprts]

I don't think anyone is saying it's a responsibility. What I am seeing is that many think it's the right and compassionate thing to do. Yes, sitting for the 10-15 minute ride to/from a park is likely more comfortable.

But if you were to see a person in greater discomfort than you would be, it would certainly be the right and compassionate thing to offer them your seat.

Many here seem to disagree, and insist that first come first served, regardless of what might be an apparent need from someone else, be it a parent carrying an infant/child, an elderly person, or someone with a handicap (other than the obvious ones requiring a wheelchair).

It's a sad commentary when a man or teen won't get up to offer his seat to even a woman, let alone one of the other folks that might be better served in having a seat.

Maybe I worded it wrong as to the point I was trying to make. I have no problem giving up my seat, that being said if I or anyone in my family could not for whatever reason stand on a bus, I would not use the bus and either take a taxi or rent a car. I would take control and responsibility off my families situation and provide them with proper transportation. I would not walk on to a bus with two sleeping kids in my arms looking for someone to give up their seat. My two kids would be sleeping in their car seats in the back of our rental car.

 

[TCPluto]

I'm not telling you how I THINK they SHOULD feel, I'm telling you what REAL PEOPLE TELL ME.

.....I'm discussing what people themselves (the sample I've met) want, NOT what I think should happen. Comprende?

Our experiences are very different, probably not quite polar opposites, but very different.

 

[TCPluto]

Originally Posted by TCPluto

Could there be another reason why they couldn't get out of the parks?

I also use sommon sense and leave before I'm falling over from exhaustion.

Like I said, failure to use good judgement and common sense should not be rewarded.

Anne

You missed my point. There could be another reason why they were unable to get out of the parks.

This happened to us one night during the Christmas holiday. We were literally trapped in frontierland by an incredible mass of humanity. The only real problem it caused was us getting out of the park an hour after we had planned (and didn't result in a seating issue... wait, I stand anyway).

You seem to be saying that we don't owe our fellow man a little common curteousy. I diasgree.

 

[TCPluto]

.......that being said if I or anyone in my family could not for whatever reason stand on a bus, I would not use the bus and either take a taxi or rent a car. I would take control and responsibility off my families situation and provide them with proper transportation. I would not walk on to a bus with two sleeping kids in my arms looking for someone to give up their seat. My two kids would be sleeping in their car seats in the back of our rental car.

Good for you, I don't necessarily diagree.

But for those that for whatever reason find themselves in that position, a little kindness (offering a seat- typically a very small gesture) would do wonders.

 

[CleveRocks]

You're right, I think I'm done.

TC,

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for a civil and intelligent discussion. It's nice to see on this board that two people can honestly see things differently and go back and forth on it but not make it nasty or personal. Thanks again!

PEACE.