Why must our parents die? *pictures post 28*

[C.Ann]

I will certainly keep you, your Mom, and your Dad in my prayers.. It's going to be tough - but somehow you will all get through it - mostly because you have no choice..

I remember when my Dad died from colon cancer.. I was in my 40's then, but I had always been "Daddy's Little Girl" and I literally thought he hung the moon.. There was nothing that he couldn't do - he was kind, loving, funny, smart, a hard-worker, a great husband and father, extremely generous - and literally loved by everyone who was ever fortunate enough to have met him.. The day after he died I had to go into the supermarket to get some things for my Mom for after the funeral and I remember walking through the store in a daze - almost like an out of body experience.. I found myself staring into the faces of complete strangers and being ANGRY - thinking that they still HAD a father and I didn't.. Who was going to be my rock?

Luckily my DH was 15 years older than me and stepped right up to the plate and did his very best to be both a husband "and" a father figure.. It took awhile for me to adjust, but once I did, I felt "safe" again.. Sadly, my DH passed away a year ago this past January and once again I feel like I'm all alone - with no "rock" in my life.. My son-in-law does his best to help me with anything I need help with, but he's young - 35 - and it's just not the same.. I don't know that I'll ever truly feel "safe" again - but I do know that I can - and will - make it on my own because I really have no other choice.. I'm not bitter about it - nor am I depressed.. Just a little sad that my two "rocks" in life were taken away from me too soon..

Just remember one thing - while being strong for your Mom, make sure you take of yourself too.. And when the time comes, take the time to grieve the loss of your Dad.. I didn't do that right away - I couldn't.. My siblings either weren't available or "made" themselves unavailable and if I wasn't able to hold it together for my Mom, she wouldn't have survived (or at least not as "well" as she survived).. It hit me later - quite a bit later - and therefore took me a lot longer to adjust to the loss..

Take care - keep the faith - and know that many of us here on the DIS are praying for you and your family..

 

[Mishetta]

My heart goes out to you - just be sure to say all the things you want to say, tell him how much he means to you, and take care of financial and legal arrangements while you can. It sounds cold, but it will make your life and your mother's much easier later on.

Couldn't have said that better myself! My Mom (who had bone marrow cancer) was in the hospital & it looked like she was dying. I spent an entire day running around trying to find an attorney who would draw up paperwork which I needed to have in place immediately. I found one & he took care of things for us but it was horrible not being right at my Mom's side ~ all the while thinking that she was dying & I'm off getting legal paperwork done. Handle that stuff now while there is time. Also, with my Mom, she asked me to bring her to the cemetery since she wanted to pick out her own resting place. I was grateful she decided to do that because after she passed on, I was a basket case & it was one less thing to take care of. If he should mention something like that, please take him. Oh & BTW, my Mom made it through that episode. She finally crossed over the following July.

We're never ready to lose someone we love deeply. I hope it will be a peaceful transition when the time comes. Spend as much time as possible with him for now. Hold his hand so that one day when he's gone you can close your eyes & still feel his hand in yours. That's what I did with my Mom. I can still feel her hand in mine when I need to. (Unfortunately, I 'need' too feel her hand often!)

I'll be praying for Glen & for you & your family. Glen will be fine...it's the rest of us that are left behind that don't understand & we just hurt because our loved one has been snatched from us.

 

[Keli]

I'm very sorry for what you are going through. I don't think anyone is ever ready to lose a parent and my heart goes out to you.

 

[JennaTX]

I just wanted to let you know that I will keep you and your mom and dad in my prayers.

 

[dmslush]

I'm sorry for what you are going through. SO just lost his dad on New Year's Eve to Pancreatic (sp?) cancer. We found out during Thanksgiving that he had cancer, so they didn't have much time. Given the fact that we live in TN and his dad lived in WA, it was difficult. SO went and had some LONG talks with his dad. He made sure that he didn't have anything left unsaid, no matter how trivial.

 

[Planogirl]

I'm so sorry.

I remember when I lost my Dad how I felt like a kid for a while and I just wanted my Dad. I don't think that you ever really outgrow your parents.

Hang tough and take care of YOU too as C.Ann so wisely said. You will need lots of kindness yourself.

 

[Jockaroo]

I will keep your dad, mom and you in my prayers. I'm sorry your family is dealing with such a serious illness. May God grant you strength.

 

[Boston Tea Party]

Thank you, everyone, for your kind words of caring and support.

Here are a few pictures from our trip in March. I am so thankful I was able to arrange for him to be the Veteran of the Day. It was a big surprise and I think it really meant a lot judging by the way he cherishes the pin.

 

[twinklebug]

 

[Planogirl]

Wonderful pictures! Thanks for sharing that lovely memory.

 

[luv2nascar]

I am so sorry. I can only imagine how you must feel. I almost lost my father on Tuesday and I can't shake that feeling. I'm crying now just thinking about your situation. I am not ready to lose my father he is only 59 yr olds. I will pray for you and your father. The power of prayer is amazing. Best wishes.

 

[DebbieB]

Couldn't have said that better myself! My Mom (who had bone marrow cancer) was in the hospital & it looked like she was dying. I spent an entire day running around trying to find an attorney who would draw up paperwork which I needed to have in place immediately. I found one & he took care of things for us but it was horrible not being right at my Mom's side ~ all the while thinking that she was dying & I'm off getting legal paperwork done. Handle that stuff now while there is time. Also, with my Mom, she asked me to bring her to the cemetery since she wanted to pick out her own resting place. I was grateful she decided to do that because after she passed on, I was a basket case & it was one less thing to take care of. If he should mention something like that, please take him. Oh & BTW, my Mom made it through that episode. She finally crossed over the following July.

We're never ready to lose someone we love deeply. I hope it will be a peaceful transition when the time comes. Spend as much time as possible with him for now. Hold his hand so that one day when he's gone you can close your eyes & still feel his hand in yours. That's what I did with my Mom. I can still feel her hand in mine when I need to. (Unfortunately, I 'need' too feel her hand often!)

I'll be praying for Glen & for you & your family. Glen will be fine...it's the rest of us that are left behind that don't understand & we just hurt because our loved one has been snatched from us.

That's a good point. My mom had been sick for years but we never took care of things like we should have. Now I am the executor of the estate and it has gotten very complicated plus we are going to lose alot of money to taxes.

 

[wilderness01]

 

[Pooh93]

I am so sorry about your father. I'm glad you were able to make the memories at WDW with him. My dad will be 75 soon. Although he is blessed not to have any serious illness, I see the effects of old age creeping up on him. We are taking him to WDW in June to make memories with him and our girls.

 

[gradtchr]

 

[Pam]

Many , my friend. I am so sorry.

I will definitely pray for your dear father, Glen.

I hate cancer. It's such a nasty disease.

If you ever need a shoulder to lean on - please know that I am only a PM away.

 

[Big Dude]

JTB...You know my offer still stands! I am thinking and praying each and every day!! God Bless You!

Adam

 

[Disney Doll]

I am sorry for oyur hurt!!!

I am fortunate that my parents, who are in their late 70's(actually Mom turns 80 this year) are still in relatively good health for their age. But I am starting to notice the general "slowing down"...not hearing as well, hands a little shaky, a little less able to cope with the normal little curveballs life throws trheir way (leaky pipes, flat tires etc.)...I especially notice that one with my mother more than my father. My mother seems to be getting very small and frail-looking, her appetite isn't what it used to be. They get yearly physicals, still live independently, and I wlak the fine line between keeping an eye on them while letting them be independent. I broached the subject of adding an in-law apartment onto our house, but that was shot down in flames!!!!!

But, all things being equal, I am probably looking at losing themj within the next 10 years, I would imagine. I pray that they go quickly without much pain and peacefully, when they do go. There's not much else I can do except deal with things as they happen I guess.

 

[nwdisgal]

Prayers said for your dad.

 

[Microcell]

I am so sorry. I lost my mom when I was 16 so i know how hard it is to lose your entire life so young. Enjoy every minute you can with him.