Why is "tattling" bad?

[Pin Wizard]

A lot of it could be avoided if kids were reminded more often to be respectful of each other!

 

[Mom2Nick]

I am half and half with tattling with my kids. On one hand at times they do it just to get one of them in trouble but there are also times when tattling stops something and it's good.

IE DD tattles on my youngest because he was sticking out his tongue and calling her boo boo - bad tattling. 2 hours later she tattled on him because he was trying to see if his shoe would go down the toilet - good tattling.

 

[HelenePA]

A lot of it could be avoided if kids were reminded more often to be respectful of each other!

Did you have siblings that you annoyed and tried to get in trouble? I know I sure did with my brother!

 

[daisax]

How far does it have to go before you will get involved? Do they have to draw blood? Bobby is 4 and Joe is 8. Joe could really do some damage to Bobby but you've basically told Bobby that it doesn't matter what Joe does as long as he doesn't leave a mark. You've basically told Bobby that you don't care what Joe does to him. How, exactly, is a 4 year old supposed to "work it out" with an 8 year old when they he outweighs him by 25 lbs? Didn't you just give license to the 8 year old to abuse the 4 year old?

I would assume that in this scenario the parent would become extra vigilant and see what happens when the kids resume playing -- try to catch behavior in the act. You don't have to completely disregard the received information.

Take the issue into adulthood. How many people want to work with somebody who runs to the boss to tell him when somebody's 7 minutes late coming back from lunch?

 

[laurie31]

And the biggie I'm not sure anyone has posted yet - "I think my friend is doing drugs." is telling, because even though you get your friend in trouble, you get him/her out of worse trouble.

I think tattling is more a preschool/early elementary behavior, while this would (hopefully) be a problem for older kids. And this is a great illustration of why it's so important to teach young kids about when it's vital that they tell. To get someone out of worse trouble is a great explanation.

Things like "my friend is cutting herself" "my friend's uncle touches her in a bad way" or "my friend says she wishes she were dead" are things that an adult MUST know! It's NOT tattling, although teens are more worried about being "disloyal" to a friend, but there are some secrets that do not need to be kept.

 

[SCHBR'smom]

A lot of it could be avoided if kids were reminded more often to be respectful of each other!

I generally end up yelling that you all need to get along or go to your own room and stare at the wall.

I get alot of tattling and I know what is serious and what isn't. If you tattle on something of little consequence, well, you're now in trouble because you're not being nice. If they are doing something harmful or hateful, thank you, I'll deal with it. Trust me, they know the difference.

I have told DH that with 5 kids if they ever figure out that if they work together they could really get away with a lot and we would never know, we could be in a lot of trouble. But, they still argue, still tattle, still tell, there is always an informer.

Tattling is not a serious offense, more of a nuisence. I try to teach the difference. And in the end, I have to remember they are kids and still learning about life.

 

[MM27]

Many of my students (the boys usually) have the opposite problem. They think that any sort of "telling" makes them a snitch. It comes from their environment, but it's frustrating, especially at the beginning of the school year before the trust has been built.

There is a big difference between tattling and telling because of a bullying issue. I've had tattlers that feel the need to give the play-by-play of any kid they can catch doing something or anything that they consider wrong. I will not entertain that. I usually tell them to write it down and I will read it later. That usually reduces the tattles, because it is giving them more work to do.

 

[ZephyrHawk]

Tattling is bad for the same reasons "rebellion" is good. When the established ruling class is, in fact, in the wrong, then telling on your fellow revolutionaries is bad. Benedict Arnold was a tattletale. Some might have called him a British patriot. It's all in the way you look at things.

Bottom line: Friends before anyone else.

 

[shortbun]

As a school bus driver, I can assure you that some children will tattle about any little thing and it's annoying. If someone is being bullied/hurt either emotionally or physically, I want to know about it. I DO NOT want to know if someone 'ditches' or you don't like the way they are sitting in their seat or they are talking too loud.

 

[quentina]

My daughter is a chronic tattler....My favorite is....her brother looked out her window while sitting in the back of my van.

She feels the need to point out everyones faults except her own

Am I tired of it...yes. I tell her as long is no one is bleeding, I do not want to hear it.

She is about 2 years delayed and I think this is one of the places you see the immaturity level.

There is not a day that goes by that we do not hear about something someone did or is doing and too be honest, we struggle to believe her on many things. We investigate some of the grander claims and rarely did she tell the truth.

If someone is being hurt/bullied than yes it should be reported. Many kids (including mine) are just immature and like to squeal/*******