Who needs a google search when you have good ol' Cliffy boy around?
First, though, there's the absolutely fascinating history of Vidalia Onions.
Now, first of all, Vidalia Onions are of the "short-day" variety, which refers to the hours of daylight required to initiate bulbing. These onions start to develop bulbs when the weather is cool and days are 11 to 12 hours long. The larger the onion plant at the bulb formation time, the larger and sweeter the onion. That's the reason short-day onions are primarily grown in southern latitudes, around 32o north latitude. There, the plants can be started in fall and overwintered to reach maximum size in spring when bulb formation occurs.
A traditional method of storing sweet onions is to cure them for two to three days after harvest in the sun, then store them in the legs of old panty hose, tieing a knot after each onion and hanging them in a cool, well-ventilated place.
You can also keep them for up to three to four months by wrapping them individually in paper towels, and placing them in the fridge.
Now, as for the fruitcake question, I believe that was why you "only" get fruitcakes around Christmas time.
My guess would be that you have probably upset your friends, ol' Monkeyboy. Have you tried to buy them a beer?