Why I decided to have a DFTW

[belle2211]

Why did I have a DFTW? Easy!

~I work at Disney, my DH works at Disney and we are both Disney freaks
~We got engaged at DHS
~I grew up knowing that I wanted to get married at Disney
~The WP...the absolute perfect place in my mind to get married!
~Cinderella's Carriage (yes, it's a lot of money but I knew years ago that I wanted it so I knew to budget for it)
~ Knowing that everything was taken care of for me at one place. I didn't have ANY stress, NONE AT ALL leading up to my wedding.
~I can always say that I got married at Disney and know that my children will be as thrilled as I am.
~Being able to do an MK Bridal Shoot
~Having my family say that it was truly a fairy tale in every single way, including the location.

Was my wedding expensive? Yes. But did I do my research before hand years ago? Yup! Even though I didn't have exact numbers, I had a ball park figure.

I got engaged and then married in 5 and half months. And I had no problems leading up to the wedding--my wedding planner was great, floral coordinator was AMAZING, and my disney photographer--well, I can't say enough great things about her and will be using her many more times in the future.

I can honestly say that I had no stress leading up to the wedding. I got married the 6 weeks before one of my bridesmaids and I saw all of the stress that she had trying to coordinate things and I loved that I didn't have to worry about that (and was able to help her some!)

Maybe I was lucky, but I don't think so. I have no complaints about DFTW at all and can't wait to use them again for a 10 year VR!

 

[Jilian]

*It's Disney World- No offense to the S/D brides, but I don't view those as disney weddings, just like I don't view the swan-dolphin as disney hotels. It's a personal opinion, and I'm sure I will get flamed, but I am not a S/D fan. I love Walt Disney World, and it was a big thing to me to have a DFTW. I saved, scrimped, what have you. It was worth EVERY penny because it was what I wanted: to get married in Disney, and party it up in the theme parks. You can't do that without DFTW.

I respectfully disagree with the bolded part. Say what you will but Disney even lists the Swan as "Walt Disney World Swan Resort" on their website here http://disneyworld.disney.go.com/resorts/swan-resort/

I completely agree!
No doubt there will be some flaming for expressing our opinion, but I think you raised very valid points. I don't think there is anything "wrong" with a S/D wedding, in fact, I've seen and heard some beautiful things, but for me, the Swan is a Western hotel, the Dolphin is a Sheraton hotel. They are no different to any of the other "partner hotels" in the general vicinity to Disney and contrary to popular belief there are restrictions - they're just different restrictions. If the financial considerations are important for the couple, then they are definitely a great option for a beautiful wedding. They are and always will be cheaper than DTFW but they're selling a different product.

For me this isn't about having a downer on the S/D, their weddings, or anyone who chooses a wedding there for themselves. I'm sure that S/D weddings are fantastic and what is most important is that the couple are happy. However, I am someone who wouldn't trade what I really wanted for something similar. I understand that a lot of people do not think the same as I do, and that's great, the world would be a boring place if we were all the same.

I know this may offend some people, and that is certainly not my intent, but I liken it to buying a shirt with Mickey Mouse on it from Walmart or buying one from the Magic Kingdom - or collecting Disney pins or buying a box full of Hong Kong copies from eBay. If you want the true and full Disney experience, you will only get that from DTFW. Yes that comes with a price tag and all sorts of conditions you have to meet, but what price can you put on a dream? I would rather save for 5 years to get what I truly want in my heart.

I think it is offensive that you are comparing a Swan wedding to Walmart. I feel that I did get the full Disney experience but without the headaches and poor customer service that I've heard some complain about here on the Dis. There seems to be a notion that us S/D brides are settling and I'd like to say that it certainly is not the case with me; I don't feel that I settled at all. In fact, we made a conscious decision to NOT book a DFTW because of the feedback we read here and a few other DFTW forums. I don't want this to turn into a "Who's more Disney" contest but I also don't think it is fair that S/D weddings are being put down either.

ETA: I'm curious about what you are referring to re: the bolded. What are the restrictions on a S/D wedding?

 

[audipolo]

First let me ask a few questions if I may:

What do you think of when you think of Disney?

Odds are NOT weddings. Disney as a corporation is well known for their entertainment business including movies, TV shows, etc... Reason I bring this up is because Disney as a company is what we call a generalist corporation. Meaning they do a bit of everything -- even hotels, weddings, etc...

When it comes to hotels who do you think of?

Odds are NOT Disney! In fact, you are more likely to think of the Starwood Hotels which own the swan/dolphin in addition to their worldwide brands of hotels including the St. Regis, W Hotels International, Westin, Sheraton, etc Starwood would be more of a specialist company as they specialize in hotels and do not branch outside of that.

So what’s the point, Audipolo? Ok, here it is: Generalist companies tend to do a lot and thus do not do anything to a 'master level' whereas specialist companies tend to do their specialty exceptionally well as that is the only thing they do as a company.

Look, no knock on Disney properties - I love them a lot and will continue to stay in them. But, if you put the grand Floridian resort hotel in the middle of mid town Manhattan near the St Regis and made you pick - I bet nine times out of ten folks would pick the St. Regis - it’s just a better hotel.

http://www.starwoodhotels.com/stregis/property/overview/index.html?propertyID=81

So, I deduce that DFTW are really all about the location ONLY! And if location is the ONLY thing, why isn't a hotel which is listed on Disney's website and on Disney property a suitable venue for a Disney Themed Wedding?

Wal-Mart? I think not... Not for the price I am paying to have the wedding that I actually want! There is nothing Wal-Mart like about Starwood Hotels. I've stayed in plenty all over the place and haven't felt that way about their hotels EVER!

By the way, this wedding is actually more expensive than that of a DFTW wedding. And it is more customized with better vendors that Disney was unable to provide.

*It's Disney World- No offense to the S/D brides, but I don't view those as disney weddings, just like I don't view the swan-dolphin as disney hotels. It's a personal opinion, and I'm sure I will get flamed, but I am not a S/D fan. I love Walt Disney World, and it was a big thing to me to have a DFTW. I saved, scrimped, what have you. It was worth EVERY penny because it was what I wanted: to get married in Disney, and party it up in the theme parks. You can't do that without DFTW. My wedding still cost less than it would have at home, and all of my guests think it was one of the best weddings they've ever attended (except for one, and she's a meanie anyways)

You are right - The Swan/Dolphin is owned by a company called Starwood hotels. I may be wrong but you simply wanted the Disney experience, which is fine - but I have to say that you CAN get married at Disney World on their property at the Swan/Dolphin. Now can you go get married at Disney's venues without DFTW? No but for many just being on property is more than enough.

I completely agree!
No doubt there will be some flaming for expressing our opinion, but I think you raised very valid points. I don't think there is anything "wrong" with a S/D wedding, in fact, I've seen and heard some beautiful things, but for me, the Swan is a Western hotel, the Dolphin is a Sheraton hotel. They are no different to any of the other "partner hotels" in the general vicinity to Disney and contrary to popular belief there are restrictions - they're just different restrictions.

If the financial considerations are important for the couple, then they are definitely a great option for a beautiful wedding. They are and always will be cheaper than DTFW but they're selling a different product.

For me this isn't about having a downer on the S/D, their weddings, or anyone who chooses a wedding there for themselves. I'm sure that S/D weddings are fantastic and what is most important is that the couple are happy. However, I am someone who wouldn't trade what I really wanted for something similar. I understand that a lot of people do not think the same as I do, and that's great, the world would be a boring place if we were all the same.

I know this may offend some people, and that is certainly not my intent, but I liken it to buying a shirt with Mickey Mouse on it from Walmart or buying one from the Magic Kingdom - or collecting Disney pins or buying a box full of Hong Kong copies from eBay. If you want the true and full Disney experience, you will only get that from DTFW. Yes that comes with a price tag and all sorts of conditions you have to meet, but what price can you put on a dream? I would rather save for 5 years to get what I truly want in my heart.

Hey bud- you are off base, chap (sorry my boss is from England and every time I see someone from there I need to bring out the chap!) Anyways, the Swan/Dolphin is definitely not 'Wal-Mart' by any means of the imagination. If you wanted to compare hotels that are Wal-Mart like, I would have chosen the values at Disney before the Swan/Dolphin - or maybe the motel 6/super 8? DFTW do have a hefty price tag yes but I will tell you that our wedding is costing MORE than a DFTW because we are getting everything we wanted out of it. And actually are getting a BETTER wedding than Disney can provide given our vendors. I don’t have anything against DFTW for what they are, which is a location ONLY, but your comments just don’t have merit aside from that.

All the Swan and Dolphin brides really do not deserve to be looked down upon because of their choice in venue on Disney property. They are getting the wedding of their dreams at a great site and are just as much Disney as anyone else.

THE ONE THING THAT IS THE SAME BETWEEN DFTW AND S/D BRIDES ARE THEIR LOVE AND ADMIRATION OF DISNEY.

Ok, off my soap box. Cheers

 

[tinkerbell 766]

Thank you, audiopolo, for expressing so eloquently what I was thinking!!! I do not wish to offend anybody at all, but I consider myself to be one of the greatest Disney fans in the world and for my fellow brides to suggest that simply because I did not arrange my VR through DFTW, this is not true, is slightly hurtful.
I did have my VR at WDW and I care not what others say!!!
Jay, I am sure you meant no harm, but it is offensive to compare S/D weddings to Walmart merchandise. I could afford to have a 'Memories' or 'Escape' event if I wished, but the S/D suited our needs better. I am sure you would not like it if people started saying things like this to you, simply because you had a small 'Memories' event rather than a full-blown 'Wishes' VR last time.
Let us all calm down and remember we are all Disney brides and grooms and we are very lucky to have had our special day in WDW!!

 

[MrRomance]

I respectfully disagree with the bolded part. Say what you will but Disney even lists the Swan as "Walt Disney World Swan Resort" on their website here http://disneyworld.disney.go.com/resorts/swan-resort/

Yes they do, because they pay a premium and rent to be on Disney land. Can you use the Disney Dining Plan there? No - because it isn't a Disney hotel. It's the same as a particular store being in a mall.

I think it is offensive that you are comparing a Swan wedding to Walmart. I feel that I did get the full Disney experience but without the headaches and poor customer service that I've heard some complain about here on the Dis. There seems to be a notion that us S/D brides are settling and I'd like to say that it certainly is not the case with me; I don't feel that I settled at all. In fact, we made a conscious decision to NOT book a DFTW because of the feedback we read here and a few other DFTW forums. I don't want this to turn into a "Who's more Disney" contest but I also don't think it is fair that S/D weddings are being put down either.

At no point did I compare the Swan to Walmart, and a number of you have missed the point. The point was not about quality - I was VERY clear that S/D are great and that they offer great weddings. I was also VERY clear that I don't have a downer on S/D weddings and that it is a matter of personal choice/budget for individual couples. The point I was making is that it is you can get a similar product somewhere else but it is not the same. Disney is Disney, you can to some degree replicate it, but it's not the same in my opinion.

The title of this thread is "Why I decided to have a DFTW" it was not "Why I had a S/D wedding", I believe there is another thread for that. I gave my personal opinions as to why I made the choice I did. I did not attack anyone for that choice, nor did I criticize anyone. For me it is a sign of something underlying that so many S/D people feel the need to be so defensive and not just accept that people have their own opinions.

ETA: I'm curious about what you are referring to re: the bolded. What are the restrictions on a S/D wedding?

Just off the top of my head...

There are limitations on the number of ceremony venues (4 total, I believe, and only 1 for a very large party), limitations for reception venues and restrictions with photo shoots to name a couple. I could go on but my point would be missed.

So, I deduce that DFTW are really all about the location ONLY! And if location is the ONLY thing, why isn't a hotel which is listed on Disney's website and on Disney property a suitable venue for a Disney Themed Wedding?

And there is my point. It is about location and price. To be a DISNEY WEDDING, it’s a DFTW – other locations are DISNEY THEMED weddings which are not more or less valid, and no more or less important, they’re just different. The product you’re buying isn’t the same, which is why the price points are different. Your point about choosing hotels in other parts of the world is very valid, but I’m not talking about another part of the world, I’m talking about Disney and Disney weddings. I agree that the Starwood Hotels around the globe are great including the S/D but for me, the S/D are no different to any of the “partner hotels” they are not Disney.

Wal-Mart? I think not... Not for the price I am paying to have the wedding that I actually want! There is nothing Wal-Mart like about Starwood Hotels. I've stayed in plenty all over the place and haven't felt that way about their hotels EVER!
By the way, this wedding is actually more expensive than that of a DFTW wedding. And it is more customized with better vendors that Disney was unable to provide.
You are right - The Swan/Dolphin is owned by a company called Starwood hotels. I may be wrong but you simply wanted the Disney experience, which is fine - but I have to say that you CAN get married at Disney World on their property at the Swan/Dolphin. Now can you go get married at Disney's venues without DFTW? No but for many just being on property is more than enough.

See above, no one said it’s Wal-Mart or poor quality. The point is, not one of quality, it’s one of LOCATION. You can buy something similar somewhere else, but it isn’t the same. What you’re buying isn’t the same, what you’re buying is not Disney. The truth is people use S/D because it’s cheaper and that’s fine if they are happy with that. From what Teresa has posted, a key part of her choice was price and it is clear you are both happy with your plans. That’s great, but personally, I wouldn’t be “more than enough”, that’s my opinion and my choice. I actually wonder how many people would have had a DFTW had money not been a factor, I suspect not very many although few would be honest enough to admit that.

Hey bud- you are off base, chap (sorry my boss is from England and every time I see someone from there I need to bring out the chap!) Anyways, the Swan/Dolphin is definitely not 'Wal-Mart' by any means of the imagination. If you wanted to compare hotels that are Wal-Mart like, I would have chosen the values at Disney before the Swan/Dolphin - or maybe the motel 6/super 8? DFTW do have a hefty price tag yes but I will tell you that our wedding is costing MORE than a DFTW because we are getting everything we wanted out of it. And actually are getting a BETTER wedding than Disney can provide given our vendors. I don’t have anything against DFTW for what they are, which is a location ONLY, but your comments just don’t have merit aside from that.
All the Swan and Dolphin brides really do not deserve to be looked down upon because of their choice in venue on Disney property. They are getting the wedding of their dreams at a great site and are just as much Disney as anyone else.
THE ONE THING THAT IS THE SAME BETWEEN DFTW AND S/D BRIDES ARE THEIR LOVE AND ADMIRATION OF DISNEY.
Ok, off my soap box. Cheers

Personally, I find it offensive that you call me “chap”, I wouldn’t bring someone’s nationality into the mix. That said, it seems that you and your fiancee are saying very different things here. You are saying that it’s not about price, Teresa has posted several times that price was a key factor for her. You are saying that you “got everything you wanted out of it” yet your fiancée said her heart was set on the Prop Shop.
With any wedding there are compromises that are made and we sacrifice some things in favour of others, which is fine. I am not “looking down” on anyone for the decisions they make for themselves, I respect the decisions that people make for themselves but it appears it does not work both ways when people who choose DFTW are viewed as mindless people who got ripped off. I will pay more for the real deal every single time. I will pay the premium for the location and for the Disney ethos which isn’t available anywhere else but Disney.

Thank you, audiopolo, for expressing so eloquently what I was thinking!!! I do not wish to offend anybody at all, but I consider myself to be one of the greatest Disney fans in the world and for my fellow brides to suggest that simply because I did not arrange my VR through DFTW, this is not true, is slightly hurtful.
I did have my VR at WDW and I care not what others say!!!
Jay, I am sure you meant no harm, but it is offensive to compare S/D weddings to Walmart merchandise. I could afford to have a 'Memories' or 'Escape' event if I wished, but the S/D suited our needs better. I am sure you would not like it if people started saying things like this to you, simply because you had a small 'Memories' event rather than a full-blown 'Wishes' VR last time.
Let us all calm down and remember we are all Disney brides and grooms and we are very lucky to have had our special day in WDW!!

Joanne, I didn’t compare the S/D to Wal-mart, it’s the principle not the quality. The principle that you can buy a similar product somewhere else does not make the products “the same” they’re not. As for only having a Memories event, that was a choice I made and whatever someone would like to share as their opinion is fine with me because I’m very happy with my decision. What I find rather unnerving is that it seems that my opinions are offensive, yet people who comment that DTFW couples are misguided and ripped off, are just fine?
I can’t help feeling that the aggressive nature and the offense that is taken when someone states their opinion about what they consider to be a Disney wedding as opposed to a Disney themed wedding is more about them than it is about me and my opinions. I don’t feel the need to “defend” my decisions and I don’t get offended by the opinions of others. Each couple make their decisions and have their opinions, for me only a DFTW would do and I would have paid twice the price for that.

 

[sambycat]

Well said Mr Romance!

 

[tinkerbell 766]

I take your point Jay, and humbly apologise if I have misunderstood your references to WalMart.
I think that a lot of people are saying that they chose to go through DFTW simply because it is DFTW. Okay, that's fine, but it does seem to support my point (on the 'Why I chose not' thread), that some people (not all, by any means), go through DFTW out of a sense of 'Disney loyalty'. It is Disney, and that is it - it seems not to matter to them that DFTW don't always get it right, that some of their planners (not all) are clearly not up to speed or that for some things they are rediculously overpriced. That's fine, but maybe, then, they should not get upset when others point out that, despite being DFTW, they do get it wrong (and frankly, being a die-hard Disney fanatic, more frequently than I would like to see!!!).
My VR was not a 'disney themed' VR by any stretch of the imagination. Any Disney touches were added by me, not by JM, and certainly not by the S/D!! S/D do not offer 'disney themed' events. They offer weddings and VRs at a sophisticated and elegant (just MHO) hotel which is right there in WDW.
Yes, there are certain restrictions with having your event at the S/D. No, we cannot as S/D brides, have Cinderella's coach, but then, if I am not mistaken, nor can brides who have chosen some locations and packages through DFTW.
As far as location is concerned, the Swan is as near to a Disney theme park as many of the locations offered by DFTW, and there is certainly no restriction with photographs - I have photos with the castle in the background too, you know!!! I think the only real restriction on S/D brides is being unable to access the MK photo shoot.
I love Disney, will always love Disney and that will never change. I could have had a DFTW VR if I chose to. I was put off by some of the restrictions imposed on brides choosing the smaller packages, and by the increasing evidence (from these boards), that DFTW planners were not getting their act together on quite a few occasions. I didn't want Cindy's carriage or a MK shoot (and at the time of my planning, said shoots were causing brides no end of heartache with cancellations, poor photos etc).
I had (again IMHO) an elegant and pretty (not Disney themed) VR at WDW. I made my choices and don't regret them. I am glad for the brides who made their choices through DFTW and don't regret them.
I refuse to feel like a 'second class' Disney bride simply because I put my VR into the hands of the excellent planners at JM and not the planners at DFTW.

 

[MrsDuck]

I take your point Jay, and humbly apologise if I have misunderstood your references to WalMart.
I think that a lot of people are saying that they chose to go through DFTW simply because it is DFTW. Okay, that's fine, but it does seem to support my point (on the 'Why I chose not' thread), that some people (not all, by any means), go through DFTW out of a sense of 'Disney loyalty'. It is Disney, and that is it - it seems not to matter to them that DFTW don't always get it right, that some of their planners (not all) are clearly not up to speed or that for some things they are rediculously overpriced. That's fine, but maybe, then, they should not get upset when others point out that, despite being DFTW, they do get it wrong (and frankly, being a die-hard Disney fanatic, more frequently than I would like to see!!!).
My VR was not a 'disney themed' VR by any stretch of the imagination. Any Disney touches were added by me, not by JM, and certainly not by the S/D!! S/D do not offer 'disney themed' events. They offer weddings and VRs at a sophisticated and elegant (just MHO) hotel which is right there in WDW.
Yes, there are certain restrictions with having your event at the S/D. No, we cannot as S/D brides, have Cinderella's coach, but then, if I am not mistaken, nor can brides who have chosen some locations and packages through DFTW.
As far as location is concerned, the Swan is as near to a Disney theme park as many of the locations offered by DFTW, and there is certainly no restriction with photographs - I have photos with the castle in the background too, you know!!! I think the only real restriction on S/D brides is being unable to access the MK photo shoot.
I love Disney, will always love Disney and that will never change. I could have had a DFTW VR if I chose to. I was put off by some of the restrictions imposed on brides choosing the smaller packages, and by the increasing evidence (from these boards), that DFTW planners were not getting their act together on quite a few occasions. I didn't want Cindy's carriage or a MK shoot (and at the time of my planning, said shoots were causing brides no end of heartache with cancellations, poor photos etc).
I had (again IMHO) an elegant and pretty (not Disney themed) VR at WDW. I made my choices and don't regret them. I am glad for the brides who made their choices through DFTW and don't regret them.
I refuse to feel like a 'second class' Disney bride simply because I put my VR into the hands of the excellent planners at JM and not the planners at DFTW.

Amen. Jo, you wrote this better than I EVER could!

 

[MrRomance]

I take your point Jay, and humbly apologise if I have misunderstood your references to WalMart.
I think that a lot of people are saying that they chose to go through DFTW simply because it is DFTW. Okay, that's fine, but it does seem to support my point (on the 'Why I chose not' thread), that some people (not all, by any means), go through DFTW out of a sense of 'Disney loyalty'. It is Disney, and that is it - it seems not to matter to them that DFTW don't always get it right, that some of their planners (not all) are clearly not up to speed or that for some things they are rediculously overpriced. That's fine, but maybe, then, they should not get upset when others point out that, despite being DFTW, they do get it wrong (and frankly, being a die-hard Disney fanatic, more frequently than I would like to see!!!).
My VR was not a 'disney themed' VR by any stretch of the imagination. Any Disney touches were added by me, not by JM, and certainly not by the S/D!! S/D do not offer 'disney themed' events. They offer weddings and VRs at a sophisticated and elegant (just MHO) hotel which is right there in WDW.
Yes, there are certain restrictions with having your event at the S/D. No, we cannot as S/D brides, have Cinderella's coach, but then, if I am not mistaken, nor can brides who have chosen some locations and packages through DFTW.
As far as location is concerned, the Swan is as near to a Disney theme park as many of the locations offered by DFTW, and there is certainly no restriction with photographs - I have photos with the castle in the background too, you know!!! I think the only real restriction on S/D brides is being unable to access the MK photo shoot.
I love Disney, will always love Disney and that will never change. I could have had a DFTW VR if I chose to. I was put off by some of the restrictions imposed on brides choosing the smaller packages, and by the increasing evidence (from these boards), that DFTW planners were not getting their act together on quite a few occasions. I didn't want Cindy's carriage or a MK shoot (and at the time of my planning, said shoots were causing brides no end of heartache with cancellations, poor photos etc).
I had (again IMHO) an elegant and pretty (not Disney themed) VR at WDW. I made my choices and don't regret them. I am glad for the brides who made their choices through DFTW and don't regret them.
I refuse to feel like a 'second class' Disney bride simply because I put my VR into the hands of the excellent planners at JM and not the planners at DFTW.

EVERYTHING is ridiculously priced at Disney, why would their weddings be any different? Where else in the world would you drop $3 on a soft drink and not flinch? DFTW are ridiculously priced, I fully agree and I think that is why so many choose the S/D. But people are less than honest about that. For most people it is a simple matter of cost and if I said to them, “Hey, I just won the lottery and I want to pay for you to have your wedding or VR, you can have whatever you want and it’s all on me” would they choose the S/D? Probably not!

I agree that DFTW are not always perfect, but NO WHERE will be. I’m sorry I don’t believe that S/D weddings have never got anything wrong. In fact, I’ve read a few TR’s where things went wrong, but it didn’t affect the day or the wedding experience, in the same way that the problems some people have with DFTW didn’t stop things going perfectly on the day. How many reports have you read from a DFTW bride or groom where they said their day was disaster and they wish they’d never done it?

I agree that the weddings and VR’s I’ve seen at S/D are very elegant and lovely. It’s not a quality issue for me, if I wanted my VR to be elegant as you say you did, I would be happy to use S/D, but I didn’t want that, I wanted a full and true Disney Wedding experience and there are things that only Disney can provide.

I think it is awful that anyone might feel like they are “second class” because it is not an issue of being first or second class, it’s an issue of difference…they are not the same. Just as a Disney Pin is not the same as a copy on eBay. Feeling something comes from within, it’s internalized, it shouldn’t come from someone expressing a personal opinion. I don’t “feel” less than or more than anyone based on someone else’s opinions. I own my own feelings about my life and my choices, they are not affected by other people’s views on my choices because frankly, I would not give anyone that level of control over how I feel.

If someone chooses, S/D for themselves, great, I wish them the very best for their day, and I’m sure their day will be beautiful…but for me it’s not a Disney Wedding. Most of the time, people choose S/D because of the price, which I know is a major consideration, but for me, if you’re going to go to Disney, have the full Disney experience. I waited a very long time for our VR to be possible, I could have had it anywhere in the world a lot sooner, but I wanted what I wanted and I would pay twice the price and wait twice as long to get what I want in my heart.

 

[Jilian]

Jay, your comments here:

Just off the top of my head...
There are limitations on the number of ceremony venues (4 total, I believe, and only 1 for a very large party), limitations for reception venues and restrictions with photo shoots to name a couple. I could go on but my point would be missed.

are simply not correct. There are not limitation to the number of ceremony venues, there are a few that brides typically use but there have also been brides who have created their own locations. You can pretty much use any location you want. There are also no restrictions on photo shoots, I'm not sure where you got that idea. You can book your photographer through Swan or book on your own - zero limitations. We can have any reception venue we want, the only limitation (that is DFTW, not S/D imposed) is that we cannot wear a wedding dress in the parks. I'm correcting you because there are people who come to the Dis for info and I don't want misinformation out there.

Your comments again about a S/D wedding being for those who have settled and could not afford a DFTW again are just off base. Many of us are making a conscious CHOICE to take our money to a company that values us as customers and lets us make all of our own choice without restriction. Check my PJ, I could have done an Escape, and heck, for a few thousand more I would have been a wishes but I CHOSE swan, not settled. We didn't have to save for years for this, we're well established and I could have easily gone DFTW had I wanted to. If you read many of the Swan PJ's many of us started out working with DFTW and became disenchanted and took our business elsewhere.

I have the sneaking suspicion that this "you're not Disney" drama is fueled more by hurt feelings than anything else. I understand that this is a "Why I chose DFTW" thread but there are untruths being made here and us S/D brides and grooms have the right to come here and correct them. I never, NEVER meant for my DFTW annoyance to be directed at customers of DFTW. My frustrations are directed at DFTW alone because I feel that they could do better for their couples and offer better service across the board. If you hadn't noticed, there is a LOT of complaining that goes on here on this board in regards to DFTW and it makes me sad for the people who have to deal with it. Jay, if you go back and read your own PJ you were quite upset yourself when Disney tried to cut your reception short and only notified you shortly before you left. Things like that make me sad for couples who have to go through it, that is where my annoyed comments towards DFTW come from.

I'm going to respectfully bow out of this conversation now. The Dis had always been (for me) a place where Disney lovers come to unite and share their love for Disney with others. I've been happy to be a part of this wedding forum and do not want to engage in hurtful threads. Again I apologize if any of my comments have been hurtful, that was never my intention. Love and pixie dust to all!

 

[MrRomance]

Jay, your comments here:
are simply not correct. There are not limitation to the number of ceremony venues, there are a few that brides typically use but there have also been brides who have created their own locations. You can pretty much use any location you want. There are also no restrictions on photo shoots, I'm not sure where you got that idea. You can book your photographer through Swan or book on your own - zero limitations. We can have any reception venue we want, the only limitation (that is DFTW, not S/D imposed) is that we cannot wear a wedding dress in the parks. I'm correcting you because there are people who come to the Dis for info and I don't want misinformation out there.

I’m not going to argue because I do not feel the same need to be so defensive, the restrictions are there for anyone interested to see. The information I gave is factual, taken from the S/D website anyone can look that up for themselves. S/D do not offer anything that DTFW does not, but DFTW do offer things that S/D do not, that is a fact. As for the photographer, you can book your own photographer, I know, because I did it.

Jay, if you go back and read your own PJ you were quite upset yourself when Disney tried to cut your reception short and only notified you shortly before you left. Things like that make me sad for couples who have to go through it, that is where my annoyed comments towards DFTW come from.

Jillian, you’re mistaken again here. I thought we were talking about DFTW? I was not unhappy with DFTW about my reception because they didn’t arrange my reception, it was booked directly with Disney Catered Events. Not to mention that when I was upset about it, it was taken care of within 24 hours.

Neither DFTW or S/D are perfect, but as my grandmother used to say, you get what you pay for. If you want the all out Disney experience, then DFTW is for you but there is a price tag attached. If you are happy to have something similar to save the money, the S/D is for you.

What I find most worrying about these threads is the perpetuation of comments that were never made. At no point have I said that S/D is second class, poor quality etc, that’s a label other people are putting on it probably due to their own issues. I don’t see this as a class or quality issue and I don’t understand why other people do. Is someone who doesn’t eat apples automatically saying they are inferior to oranges? No – they are merely giving an opinion and if someone who likes apples chooses to “feel” second class because of a person’s opinion, then it’s really quite sad.

 

[Jilian]

Clearly you are just looking to argue, and I have no idea why - you have always been nothing but supported by our community here. I'm not sure where all of this is coming from but I choose not to engage. I'm glad that you got the VR that you wanted and I got the VR that I wanted and I hope that ALL of the couples here, whether they be DFTW, S/D, SOG, or at home Disney weddings get what they have been dreaming of too. To each his own.

 

[audipolo]

One more set of comments and then I am actually going to do something more productive called work:

Jay, I can understand your analogy - different, ok that’s great and you are right they are different.

However, one thing that should never be in a sentence/paragraph together is the words 'wal-mart' and 'wedding'. There are many people I know of that took quite a bit of offence to that comment (not just Teresa and I). And any time you bring up Wal-Mart, which is known for cheap pricings and inferior quality products – there will be an inference to low quality, cheap, and the lowest class possible – it doesn’t matter what context it is brought up in.

Next time a better choice in words I think would be in order.

And sorry about the 'chap' comment - but honestly my boss doesn't mind it at all, in fact pokes fun at it all the time and maybe I am just use to that use of the word. Either way my sincere apologies... If it would make you feel better, I am polish and people make fun of me all the time for it. So, someone will get back at me today for sure.

As for Teresa and budget - Initially we had a set one and money was a consideration as we are paying for it ourselves but some positive financial circumstances recently allowed for these to be a non-issue. At that time we had the option to go DFTW but opted not to simply because we couldn't get the wedding we wanted with Disney - and also decided to up the amount we are spending on the wedding a significant amount (thus the comment it is more than a DFTW wedding, which it is) Teresa continues to post many of her successes in keeping costs down as she is proud of being able to get exactly what she wants for much less than perhaps others have. Why take her pride away or the help she is doing for others who may not be as fortunate financially as us two?

Look, there is nothing wrong with DFTW weddings - for many they are a good option and suit folks needs whether it be the experience, locations, or simply the ability to say I got married at the wedding pavilion etc at WDW. However, that isn't the only option and frankly - for many I think the Swan/Dolphin is a better option. There is just more flexibility in what you can do with the weddings when specialists are involved, the site is beautiful and you are getting married ‘physically’ at Disney.

Alright, no more from me as I need to run to work.

Cheers.

 

[NoOrdinaryPrincess]

So I was going to chime in with this emoticon , but the debate on here has gotten a wee bit too nasty to make jokes about.

Calm down, guys. As long as each couple's wedding went according to their happiness no one is right, no one in wrong, and everybody wins.

 

[tinkerbell 766]

Oh Jay, I am sorry to take issue with you, but I really have to.
My VR was not 'something similar' to a Disney VR, it was a Disney VR, right there in a location in the heart of WDW. I just happened to have a different set of wedding planners.
I never once said that JM never do anything wrong. Of course they do!!! Indeed, when I was planning my VR and reserching what was best for us, I came across the TR of a bride who was very unhappy with the service she received from JM. On further investigation, it appeared that there was more to what had happened with this bride's wedding than met the eye. Either way, however, I could find only one dis-satisfied bride. I agree that you can not find many reports from DFTW brides who wish they had not gone through DFTW (in all my time on the boards, I can remember just two), but there have been many brides dis-satisfied with certain aspects of their experience. I think the main complaint has been communication, (or lack of it) and that is something that was very important to me (being a control freak!!! ). I can honestly say, hand on heart, that I was thrilled with the level of communication I received from Karen at JM.
You say that if, after a lottery win, you offered me an all expenses paid VR, I may not choose a S/D event. I can assure you that I would!!!! It would be a bigger, more lavish affair that my humble little VR was, but I would still have it at the Swan!!!
You also say 'If you are happy to have something similar to save the money, the S/D is for you.' I did not choose to have my VR at the S/D to save money - I could afford to have a DFTW if I had so wanted. My decision was not based on cost at all. It was based on my wishing to have more choice and control over my Disney VR. The fact that it worked out less expensive (and IMHO, better value) was a bonus.
I really don't understand what you feel can be had from DFTW (aside from MK shoot - which I have already acknowledged), that cannot be had from JM. Of course, the venues are different. The venues are different when comparing ceremonies at WDW and Disneyland, but I am sure you would not say that a Disneyland wedding was any 'less Disney' than one at WDW. I agree that Cindy's coach is not available to S/D brides, but it is not available to all DFTW brides either. What else can you get from DFTW that you cannot get from a S/D wedding. I am afraid I just do not understand.

 

[tinkerbell 766]

So I was going to chime in with this emoticon , but the debate on here has gotten a wee bit too nasty to make jokes about.

Calm down, guys. As long as each couple's wedding went according to their happiness no one is right, no one in wrong, and everybody wins.

Sweetie, I totally agree with you!!!! It is just the implication that S/D brides are not true Disney brides (rather like a t-shirt from WalMart or a Disney pin bought from E-bay), that make us S/D brides unhappy. We still had our ceremonies in WDW - in my book that makes us Disney brides!!

 

[MrRomance]

Clearly you are just looking to argue, and I have no idea why - you have always been nothing but supported by our community here. I'm not sure where all of this is coming from but I choose not to engage. I'm glad that you got the VR that you wanted and I got the VR that I wanted and I hope that ALL of the couples here, whether they be DFTW, S/D, SOG, or at home Disney weddings get what they have been dreaming of too. To each his own.

I'm not arguing, Jilian, I am giving my opinion and giving the facts as they are. I'm sorry that people take the fact that my opinion isn't the same as their own personally, but really, that is on them. I don't recall anyone ever saying that you can only give your opinion on a public forum if it is agreeable to all. I have a right to my opinion, and shouldn't be personally attacked and have words put in my mouth because I choose to share my opinion on a thread where I am responding to the question posed. You can disagree with me, that’s fine, it’s called healthy debate. What isn’t healthy or helpful is for people to make value judgements, twist my words, deviate from the facts or perpetuate comments that were never even made.

One more set of comments and then I am actually going to do something more productive called work:

Jay, I can understand your analogy - different, ok that’s great and you are right they are different.

However, one thing that should never be in a sentence/paragraph together is the words 'wal-mart' and 'wedding'.

Greg, I don't recall using them in the same sentence. I believe my sentence in regard to Wal-Mart was about buying t-shirts, not weddings!

And sorry about the 'chap' comment - but honestly my boss doesn't mind it at all, in fact pokes fun at it all the time and maybe I am just use to that use of the word. Either way my sincere apologies... If it would make you feel better, I am polish and people make fun of me all the time for it. So, someone will get back at me today for sure.

No problem, I just don't like things like that. My friend is Polish and he gets a lot of comments too and it's just unnecessary and unpleasant, which why I chose to address it.

Look, there is nothing wrong with DFTW weddings - for many they are a good option and suit folks needs whether it be the experience, locations, or simply the ability to say I got married at the wedding pavilion etc at WDW. However, that isn't the only option and frankly - for many I think the Swan/Dolphin is a better option. There is just more flexibility in what you can do with the weddings when specialists are involved, the site is beautiful and you are getting married ‘physically’ at Disney.
Alright, no more from me as I need to run to work.
Cheers.

This is exactly the point I was making, Greg. Neither is better than the other, it’s all about what people want for themselves. For me it is about what you as a couple value and want. If you want all out Disney, then DFTW is the way to go. You’ll pay more, because frankly, you pay more for anything if it’s Disney. You know that before you get there! For some that is expense they would rather not carry, and again, that’s fine, that’s a personal choice. Doesn’t make it wrong, doesn’t make it good or bad, it’s a choice.

With that, it is time for me to detach from this because all the negativity and attitude that I’m experiencing because I dare to express my opinion about why I chose DFTW (which after all was the title of the thread) is something I don’t need to surround myself with. Frankly, I am only saying what plenty of other people think, but maybe have not said.

Everyone’s wedding should be what they want it to be and where they want it to be and if they are happy with their choice, it wouldn’t matter if someone has a different opinion and it certainly wouldn't result in the kind of conduct we've seen here.

 

[connorlevismom]

I am just having a VR, but I think I can add something!

In thinking of our guests, I planned this because:

When would they ever get to experience having AK to themsevles for an entire evening?

When would they ever get a private meet and greet with Disney characters?

When would they ever get to have private parties (at both Canada and Italy) and feel that VIP feeling that you would get from that?

Our choice for doing it at Disney is it has been a part of my life since I was 3. It was the very first trip that DH and I took when we first started dating. It has been a huge part of our lives ever since then, we bought DVC and go down twice a year. So it seems most appropriate to have this occasion in the place that is most important to us.

I made sure that that since I already had a weddinng, that this whole trip is about my guests. Every moment of it is meant to make them feel like they are experiencing something absolutely amazing. I can't wait to see their faces!!!!

 

[One_Song]

This thread has once again devolved to calling DFTW brides and grooms stupid, ignorant spendthrifts. This is where I felt the other thread was headed when I felt the need to speak out.

Jillian, Faith, and Joanne, I understand why you felt attacked, and thank you for keeping your comments civilized and mature. I was happy to see Amanda start this thread so DFTW alums could speak to new brides, but I certainly didn’t foresee a DFTW vs. S/D fight. Joanne, your TR was one of the very first I read, and remains one of my favorites. I never would have encouraged anything that hurt your feelings.

But I DO feel the urge to speak, because once again, I feel attacked by some extremely rude and juvenile comments.

So, I deduce that DFTW are really all about the location ONLY! And if location is the ONLY thing, why isn't a hotel which is listed on Disney's website and on Disney property a suitable venue for a Disney Themed Wedding?

Wrong wrong wrong. I did not pick my wedding for location only. I also wanted Disney floral (who covers all decor aspects), the Grand Floridian kitchen, the Grand Floridian bakery, and the transportation options of Disney (Cinderella Coach). My decor was stunning, my food was delicious, and my cake was as tasty as it was beautiful. I do not consider you a quailified judge of my vendors because you have not experienced them, so how are you to say that they are any less capable than other vendors?

And now let's handle location. I didn't want any venue on Disney, I-don't-care-where. I would never go to Atlanta and say "I want my wedding reception in an Atlanta hotel, I don't care which one, as long as it's in Atlanta." I wanted MY venues. I wanted the Wedding Pavilion and the Grand Floridian ballrooms. I did not want other Disney venues. One of my first steps after initially contacting DFTW was to get a list of venues. I went through the list with my then-fiance, and we circled everything we were interested in. Then we looked through pictures and time slots, and eventually arrived at the ONLY venues we wanted for our wedding day.

Look, there is nothing wrong with DFTW weddings - for many they are a good option and suit folks needs whether it be the experience, locations, or simply the ability to say I got married at the wedding pavilion etc at WDW.

And this continues my point. It is just wrong of you to say that I wanted "the ability to say" I was married at the Wedding Pavilion. I didn't want to TELL people I got married there, I WANTED TO DO IT. I didn't want a magical Disney wedding, I wanted MY SPECIFIC Disney wedding. That is why I made the decisions that I made.

_______________________________________

New brides: I hope you are not discouraged by the lack of civility that has come out in this thread. Again, I would encourage you to look through some Planning Journals and Trip Reports to see for yourself how lovely and joyous our weddings turn out to be. I (and many others) rate our vendors so you can see honest critiques of what we liked and didn't like. Let those be a source for your research, not someone who never had a DFTW telling you how awful the vendors and service are.

 

[MrsDuck]

I would very much like for both threads to be deleted by a mod as I feel they do not accurately portray any one or their weddings.

Does anyone know how to contact a MOD?