Why does no one cook at home anymore?

[missypie]

You may have seen a prior post of mine, complaining about my DH who is a stay at home husband who doesn't cook or clean. Our neighborhood has lots of stay at home moms, and while their houses tend to be tidier than ours, the moms don't seem to make home cooked meals much more often than my DH.

I overheard a conversation my DH had with a SAHM when both of their youngest kids were about to start all day school. The lady said that her husband had asked whether she would be cooking more, now that all the kids were in school...she said of course not! She and my DH laughed and laughed!

Now I have cooked a lot of meals in my time, and I'm a very involved parent...but please tell me why can a stay at home parent not find time to cook a meal, at least several times a week? I'm not being arrogant. I seriously want to know why my mother was able to keep a spotless house with no cleaning lady, and cooked dinner every single night (we must have eaten out about 4 times a year) and now no one seems to have time to cook? What has changed?

 

[Christine]

Well Missypie, not to fuel your fire, but I work full-time and I manage to cook a home-cooked meal 4-5 nights per week (and it ain't hot dogs--although we do eat them once in awhile). I don't understand it either. It is pure laziness and lack of interest in cooking and what is healthy fuel for the body. There is nothing hard about taking a lean piece of steak (top sirloin or flank), marinating it, grilling it and slicing it thin, and serving it with a fresh green vegetable or salad, and some rice. It is so simple. Why anyone would want to open a box of Fish Sticks is beyond me.

 

[The Duchess]

I cook at least five nights a week and work. I'm a huge list person. I know on Sunday when I shop what we're having each night for entree and veggies.
I also have a list of what chores I have to accomplish everyday like vacuuming and laundry.
With a German Shephard, two cats, a five year old and a wood stove if I don't clean I'm in trouble.
Thankfully, I'm becoming a SAHM this summer. Can't wait!

 

[meeshi]

Well, I don't know what anyone else does, but I cook just about every night. I work part-time and I'd say we eat out or order in about two or three times a month, maybe even less. It really does not take long to make a good meal, I use a lot of Rachel Ray's 30 minute meal recipes, so I'm not in the kitchen very long and it's real food, not something from a box. Does your dh not know how to cook, or just doesn't want to?

 

[momm2four]

I think that the overabundance of fast food and takeout places is one factor. Also, I think that people fail to plan their menus and when it comes down to crunch time, it's easier to order a pizza than create a dinner menu on the spot.

As a SAH mom, I can honestly say, that when I don't cook, it comes from my own laziness or mismanagement of time. I probably spent too much time on the computer or reading a book or I was gone all day and failed to plan a meal for the night ahead of time.

Before I get flamed, I'm not speaking for everyone, I'm just telling you the reasons it happens when I don't get dinner on the table.

Lori P.

 

[kasar]

Well, I can't speak for every SAHM but I'll give my 2 cents. We usually eat at home most nights but there are some nights when we do something quick like pasta or chicken nuggets or even grab something out.

For us, most after school activities are not AFTER school. For some reason they all seem to go from 5:00-6:00 or 7:00. So unless I've started something in the crock-pot (I'm not organized enough to plan ahead all the time - I'm working on it ) we have to have something quick enough to leave time for homework help and getting ready for bed. Now, this isn't every night and we usually have a nice meal but sometimes we don't. I'm not making excuses - we could have a better schedule and do things better but right now we're doing the best we can. My DH works long hours and I'm the one to do all the pick-ups, cooking, homework help, etc. I can't do all those things at the same time.

But our house is pretty clean!

 

[princessariel]

Well, I work full time and so does my DH. We share the cooking duties and let me tell you, he's a darn good cook! We do go out or order in at least once a week but for the most part we eat home cooked meals. I think the difference between when our moms stayed at home and cooked and made a spotless home for us and now a days might be, we are in a computer age. I'm guilty of playing online and leaving things go longer than I should I guess. But not cooking!

 

[Alice28]

I have been a SAHM since Sept of last year. Before that I worked and neither DH or I got home until 6:30 or so. I would say I cook 6 out of 7 meals at home. Some nights it's something very homey like Pot Roast or Chicken and Rice. Some nights I take a step back and just do spaghetti or Hamburger Helper. Some nights I take TWO steps back and just do a Freshetta Pizza or Bagel Bites or Chicken Nuggets. About 1 night a week we either go out, get hamburgers/fast food or Chinese Take out. Or we go out to lunch on the weekends like to Red Lobster (cheap lunches) or Baja Fresh, something on that level. About once every other month we will go somewhere nicer like Black Angus. I am relieved that we don't get as much take-out and stuff anymore. I come from a family that has a tendency to eat too much junk, and it's easier to keep the pounds off making meals at home. Some nights (esp weekends) DH will BBQ steaks or chicken on his grill and I all I have to do is boil the rice & throw some veggies together.

 

[mommytotwo]

Oh my, my stepson's mom hardly cooks at home, and they always seem to eat out so many times a week. It's different when he is with us since I cook everyday and most meals. I try to have him eat a balanced meal and with his mom he hardly even tried fruits and vegtables. I guess with the convienece of mircowavable foods, and with fast food restaurants that offer 99 cent burgers, people don't want to cook as much.

 

[goodstarr]

The times, they are a changing I personally don't have a problem if no one cooks-just as long as everyone eats. And if that means take out or hiring my own chef, then so be it. Me, DH and DD are the 3 musketeers. We have a wonderful, loving life and none of us like to cook (but, alas, we all love to eat) Fortunately for us, we have the resources to order out a lot. I think more importantly than cooking the meal, is spending time together. After having ovarian CA, I decided to do the things that I like to do, and pay someone to do the things that i don't like to do (so I can have more time to do the things that I like to do)

 

[Christine]

Originally posted by goodstarr
I think more importantly than cooking the meal, is spending time together. After having ovarian CA, I decided to do the things that I like to do, and pay someone to do the things that i don't like to do (so I can have more time to do the things that I like to do)

goodstar,
Do you feel that you can get a healthy meal by ordering out? For me, I am very concerned with the fat, sodium, and chemical content of these "convenience" foods. While togetherness is wonderful (and dinnertime together is important), Type 2 Diabetes is becoming or has become an epidemic, especially in teenagers--due in large part to poor diets of convenience foods.

 

[CRB#33]

I cook at home most of the time. We usually go out on a Saturday and maybe order a pizza once a week (we love pizza )

I work part-time as a sub, so it's pretty easy most of the time.

Now a clean house is another story

 

[chager]

I am now a SAHM and I homeschool too. I don't always make "home cooked" meals though. Sometimes we eat out or it is from a box. My problem is I'm not very comfortable in the kitchen. When it comes to knowing what is good meat and what isn't I'm clueless. Let alone exactly how something is suppose to look I am doing better though. I have learned how to make meatloaf and I do a great job if I do say so myself At any rate I hope to join the ranks of those that cook great home made meals most night for their family

 

[Flyfly_Eclipse]

My mom's perspective: The amount of time to set up a meal, cook it, eat it, and clean up would take longer than just going out to eat. My mom hates cooking and cleaning, therefore, that's too much work for her

Don't get me wrong....we have a good meal every so often...usually mac and cheese to go along with Publix Fried Chicken

Forgot to mention...she DOES clean the house though!! She just doesn't want to go out of the way to make another mess by making dinner...lol

 

[disneyjunkie]

Originally posted by goodstarr
The times, they are a changing I personally don't have a problem if no one cooks-just as long as everyone eats.

 

[Christine]

Originally posted by chager
I am now a SAHM and I homeschool too. I don't always make "home cooked" meals though. Sometimes we eat out or it is from a box. My problem is I'm not very comfortable in the kitchen. When it comes to knowing what is good meat and what isn't I'm clueless. Let alone exactly how something is suppose to look I am doing better though. I have learned how to make meatloaf and I do a great job if I do say so myself At any rate I hope to join the ranks of those that cook great home made meals most night for their family

chager,
All it takes is an interest! Everyone was a novice at some point and, believe me, my talents in the kitchen are limited. My goal is to start cooking right when I get home from work (4:00 p.m.) and have dinner on the table in 30-60 minutes. Because like another poster said, all the afterschool activities really start at 5:00!!! Yes, I'm hustling around for an hour, but it is really simple stuff I do. My favorite website is www.cookinglight.com. They've got great message boards for simple recipes, not-so-simple etc, and tips from other amateur chefs on exactly the kinds of things you need help with (what meat to choose, the best way to chop something, etc.). Those boards have really motivated me into cooking better!

 

[goodstarr]

Christine, you are so right about "convenience foods" but ordering out doesn't have to come from McDonalds, BK or KFC. Just about every meal that people make at home (ie: the healthy stuff) can be ordered out. Yup-salmon,salads,even meatloaf. Broiled fish, baked chicken and veggies. But I do have to have my pizza every once in a while.

 

[jel0511]

I'm a SAHM and I usually cook, but some nights are something quick like pasta and one night a week we eat out, usually Saturday. It does get tough when the kids have after school activities and you're shuttling back and forth. I also have a phobia of leaving anything on in my house (especially the oven), with the exception of the crockpot, so I won't cook anything until I get home. Sometimes, I'm out from 4 until 6:30, and at 6:30, with two hungry kids, it's quick or pizza that night. DH works late most nights and doesnt get home until 8PM most nights. So, basically I'm on my own. I'll admit to having a housekeeper once a week, so I don't have to do that, but with a 2 yo home it's tough to keep up with everything when he's demanding my attention. Somedays it takes me 2 or 3 days to get all the laundry folded with everything that goes on here, and trust me I've heard it all from DH. I'd love to switch places with him (since before I became a SAHM, we used to do the same thing) and see how he'd handle it. Trust me, it would be exactly the same (not better like he says) and I'd be the one yelling at him. It already happens on weekends when he says he'll do something when I'm out, and of course when I get home, "something came up". I can understand a little better than he can, but it still is frustrating. My word of advice to the OP, is that the grass always seems greener on the other side, but it usually isn't. It's tough staying home where sometimes the only human interaction you get all day is from children or toddlers. I long for the days when I could have meaningful adult conversations about the status of the world, politics, what happened on the latest TV show, etc. But, even in my reactions with most other parents is about when/where the next birthday party is going to be, where/where Sally goes to dance, what is going on at school, etc. Not exactly thought provoking conversations. I wouldn't give up staying home with my kids for anything, since I personally think it's the best thing for them, which is why I do it. But, it is a personal sacrifice on my part, which is something that most non-stay at home parents just don't understand. You give up your right to be your own person most of the time, for the betterment of your kids. A sacrifice that I've stated I do willingly and wouldn't change, but it's still there and some days VERY hard. I'll sign off now after this long rant, by stating this is only my opinion and I didn't mean to offend anyone if I did.

 

[CEDmom]

I work 3 days a week and manage to cook dinner each night (we may eat out or do take-out 2-3 times a month). For me I just can't justify spending the money to take-out/eating out on a regular basis. Although we could do it I'd rather use that money for something else. We don't really do a food budget but I kind of have an idea of what each trip to the grocery store should cost. Because we only have one child and I do work we have more disposable income than many families. I really don't know how a family on a tight budget could manage NOT to cook regularly. That being said I don't always make everything home made. Tonight for instance we had frozen perogies and salad.

 

[Lynn CC]

I've been a SAHM and worked Full time as well over the last 20 years. I cook a meal 5 nights out of 7. The other two it's take out because my family loves it!.....they love what take out places have to offer here on the Cape...fish and chips, pizza, chinese etc.. It tastes much better than tofu and grilled veges!
Try to get your DH interested in the cooking channel, they make so many meals there, maybe he will be inspired to try something for you....Good Luck!