Why do you home school?

[graygables]

I've "been there done that to death" argued over comments like
"why would you homeschool if you aren't Christian. If you don't care about their soul, why would you care about their mind." and comments like "secular homeschoolers just means you can be any Christian denomenation. Of course we don't allow non-Christians. We care our children's safety"

Now, see, those kinds of comments really chap my hide. That is exactly the reason that homeschoolers *AND* Christians are painted with a broad brush and sparks the fear/assumptions that so many people make. Sheesh! I am a conservative Christian and I would never in a million years make a remark like that to anyone. Quite honestly, those are the kinds of remarks I heard "back in the day" from my racist relations and it's just plain ignorant. My belief system is *my* belief system and I won't bash (general) you for yours and kindly ask you not bash me for mine.

I teach my children, "This is what *I* believe and there are others who believe this instead" I allow them to use their own brains to decide what they find most meaningful for them. I was raised a Southern Baptist, but my parents approached our education in the same way. As such, I'm not AFRAID of Catholics or Episcoplians or Jews or Muslims or Pagans. Honestly, it's ignorance and fear that drives the above comments and it's time to WISE UP.

Sorry, I'm tired and rambly, but BOY, those comments really ticked me off!

 

[lori1043]

Hi ya'll, I was suprised to see this thread still around too, although i sent someone here yesterday who asked on the other HS thread.

Dawn, I SO agree with you!! perfectly said-i do the same with my DD's.

I have to laugh about the halloween thing mentioned above-I spent last week under harsh discrimination because we allow my kids to "do" halloween and trick or treat. There was another mom,whom is in our Christian based HS association, asking about a club my kids are starting and I am facilitating. She asked "others" if we were going to include halloween and yoga in our club meetings. The club is historical, crafts, missions and fun for girls. HOW that yoga and halloween thing got in there, I was not clear about other than she must have found out that we allow our kids to trick or treat. And ,yes, we do yoga at home, but non-one knows really. I don't go around talking about it b/c it is rare and we do it for fun. I didn't get where yoga could be "bad" from a Christian perspective. i thought that was crazy, it is just exersize and relaxation techniques.
Anyway, I may get flack about that now, but I will tell you I will turn it off, "I know , I really know what I beleive"!!!(a song from DD's plays at church) But I was in tears last week because I was being discriminated against by fellow Christians. It enfuriated me. It made me go look all the facts about halloween up-and I found out a LOT, and I still think halloween is okay to dress up and get candy and carve pumpkins. I have NEVER told my friends that don't "DO" halloween that I "think they are crazy and they should let thier kids have some fun every once in a while", and WHY??? Because I respect thier choices and I love them for who they are. If you think that something could be "bad" for you or your family, then I say, by all means, DON'T do it. It would be wrong for YOU. But for me, it may be different. One of my closest friends last week told me, and made me feel better-"not everyone is on the SAME spiritual journey, what may be a 'demon' for you, may not be a 'demon' for me, and turn it around too".
It was funny, b/c after last week, DH says, "why don't you go join the catholic HS association, so you can trick or treat AND drink too" . I can say this and so can he b/c we spent our whole lives, up until 7 years ago, being catholic-so 30 years as a catholic.

I could go on but don't want too much trouble, so I will stop.
Anyway, nice to hear from you all!!

Lori

 

[sha_lyn]

I don't get the yoga thing either. I'm teaching martial arts part time at a new gymnastics center. The center is in a very "old south" town. The owner has been kicking around ideas for other classes to offer. Aparentlly Tai chi (spelling?) and yoga are big no-no the the conservative fundemetal christian crowd. Then again I've been told by some "fundies" that martial arts are a pagan religion.

 

[graygables]

I have to tell you...we were discussing this topic at dinner tonight. DH is a bit more "fundie" than I am, demon under every rock kind of thing, not at all excited about Halloween (which is why I'm taking DDs to HHI for Halloween*AND* a MVMCP this year and he's not! ) His take on it is, if it makes another person stumble, then you do NOT have the right to do whatever it is and you are obligated to 'take a stand'. I told him that knife cuts both ways, but then 11yo (Asperger's, other social problems) said, "Dad, I don't have to like what they believe for ME, but I do have to treat them with respect just the same. It's just simple RESPECT, Dad." I'm doing something RIGHT!!! Of course, I had to leave the table b/c I got all verklempt...

 

[Princess_Michelle]

I have to tell you...we were discussing this topic at dinner tonight. DH is a bit more "fundie" than I am, demon under every rock kind of thing, not at all excited about Halloween (which is why I'm taking DDs to HHI for Halloween*AND* a MVMCP this year and he's not! ) His take on it is, if it makes another person stumble, then you do NOT have the right to do whatever it is and you are obligated to 'take a stand'. I told him that knife cuts both ways, but then 11yo (Asperger's, other social problems) said, "Dad, I don't have to like what they believe for ME, but I do have to treat them with respect just the same. It's just simple RESPECT, Dad." I'm doing something RIGHT!!! Of course, I had to leave the table b/c I got all verklempt...

Me and DH are the same way He doesn't like Halloween and *asked* when we got married that we not celebrate it. I don't really care either way. We always dressed up and trick or treated, but it was never my favorite holiday or anything...I don't even notice it. But, I can't stand when other Christians treat the people who celebrate it like lepers. DH doesn't even think about other people who celebrate it. Doesn't even register on our radar until one of our aquintances says something about "those people" that celebrate Halloween. I just say, "we don't do it, but I don't think there is anything wrong with it personally".

My aunt wanted to take the kids to MNSSHP this year, but I had to remind her that we don't celebrate Halloween, but she could still take my niece. She didn't want to b/c she doesn't want my DS to think they like her more. I told her, you know, he's only 3, he won't even notice, and if he did, he would just have to get over it. I want him to grow up knowing that everyone is different...we don't do this, but other people do, when you're grown, if you want to have at it, go for it. But just b/c you do things differently from other people, doesn't make you any better or worse than them, just different.

 

[Pigeon]

I don't currently homeschool, but the idea is starting to sound more and more interesting. We have a good public school system. But there is just so much about it that is demoralizing.

There is way, way, way too much homework. My fifth grader is expected to do two hours of homework every day. The net effect is to suck the joy out of learning and make her hate school. Yet there is no hard evidence whatsoever that homework has a positive effect on learning.

The school wastes so much time on crap. This is the year her class does the DARE program. This is a program that has been shown time and time again to at best have no effect on drug usage, and at worst to make certain groups of kids more likely to do drugs. We're keeping her out of it, which is making the principal nuts, but this program requires parental permission. They also have so many assemblies about nonsense. I think we could easily cover what they do in a school day in three hours or less, with no homework.

The NCLB testing is just pure evil. Enough said on that.

 

[Principessa Alba]

The school wastes so much time on crap. This is the year her class does the DARE program. This is a program that has been shown time and time again to at best have no effect on drug usage, and at worst to make certain groups of kids more likely to do drugs. We're keeping her out of it.

We kept our kids out of it too. What a waste. It makes me crazy how much our school system wasted on that useless program.

 

[Pigeon]

We kept our kids out of it too. What a waste. It makes me crazy how much our school system wasted on that useless program.

Yes, and there's also the opportunity costs associated with it. The kids could be learning something that actually might be beneficial, and the police officers could be doing law enforcement.

It astounds me that people don't question this stuff. Would they keep using a math curriculum if it was shown at best to have no impact on the child's ability to learn math?

The principal basically admitted that they like it because everybody gets a warm, fuzzy feeling from having the police come in and the kids get a party. That's more than 20 hours of your child's life wasted that they'll never get back.

 

[sha_lyn]

It astounds me that people don't question this stuff. Would they keep using a math curriculum if it was shown at best to have no impact on the child's ability to learn math?

Yep... because it's paid for LOL
Actually I believe it was a reading (whole language) program that a school system in CA was using. They admitted that test scores were falling, but it was the program they had, so they were going to continue to use it.

 

[Aidensmom]

I don't get the yoga thing either. I'm teaching martial arts part time at a new gymnastics center. The center is in a very "old south" town. The owner has been kicking around ideas for other classes to offer. Aparentlly Tai chi (spelling?) and yoga are big no-no the the conservative fundemetal christian crowd. Then again I've been told by some "fundies" that martial arts are a pagan religion.

My son's karate teacher opens the first class of each new session explaining that he is not teaching any type of religion and that he does not teach anything anti-Christian. Truth be told, he even teaches vacation bible school at one of the local Protestant churches! I always thought it was kind of funny that he did felt the need to explain that as I am amazed that people would think otherwise, and I AM a Christian.

 

[sha_lyn]

LOL...... I actually know 2 school/Dojang owners that have the word Christian or a Christian reference in their school name. I've also seen one in the area that has a Christian symbol as a part of their logo.

 

[HeyNowFL]

I don't currently homeschool, but the idea is starting to sound more and more interesting. We have a good public school system. But there is just so much about it that is demoralizing.

There is way, way, way too much homework. My fifth grader is expected to do two hours of homework every day. The net effect is to suck the joy out of learning and make her hate school. Yet there is no hard evidence whatsoever that homework has a positive effect on learning.

The school wastes so much time on crap. This is the year her class does the DARE program. This is a program that has been shown time and time again to at best have no effect on drug usage, and at worst to make certain groups of kids more likely to do drugs. We're keeping her out of it, which is making the principal nuts, but this program requires parental permission. They also have so many assemblies about nonsense. I think we could easily cover what they do in a school day in three hours or less, with no homework.

The NCLB testing is just pure evil. Enough said on that.

There is no hard evidence? Are you kidding? The evidence is that the kids learn the material.

 

[daisyduck123]

There is no hard evidence? Are you kidding? The evidence is that the kids learn the material.

Hi! Teacher here

Actually, what she is saying is correct....at least for primary grades (I don't know about upper elementary). In the past year and a half, my principal has given my team (of 1st grade teachers) copies of several articles she's read that discuss this topic. She's even told my team for the past 2 years that if we decide not to assign homework at all during the year, she'll support us.

 

[meandtheguys2]

Hi! Teacher here

Actually, what she is saying is correct....at least for primary grades (I don't know about upper elementary). In the past year and a half, my principal has given my team (of 1st grade teachers) copies of several articles she's read that discuss this topic. She's even told my team for the past 2 years that if we decide not to assign homework at all during the year, she'll support us.

That is awesome. You are right, and it is great that your administation sees that!

 

[disney100666]

I wish I was homeschooled.

 

[lori1043]

I have a funny tale about DARE- Our DD9, then 5, was in PS at the time, and went to a DARE thing at school. Now we are NOT big drinkers (maybe a beer while BBQ'ing on a weekend, and when we are with a bunch of friends, but I would say a 6 pack lasts us a month, depending on the month ), but we had just had a crawfish boil and had some beer leftover in the fridge. DD comes home from school , goes straight to the fridge and says, "daddy can't have this anymore, it's a DRUG" and throws it all in the garbage. Now , this perturbed me a bit, b/c while beer CAN be a "drug" for some, in general, it is not AND no alcoholics live here. But I said nothing, intending for my DH to hear this story and see what HE does. I did make sure nothing gross was put into the garbage after that though . He comes home and hears her out, lets it go. After she is in bed that night, we both run to the garbage and take it out!!!
We then have talk with her the next day about alcohol and our view on it and NEVER let her do DARE again. It is a STRANGE approach. It's almost like the whole abstinence programs(PS)-and before you shout at me and think "well, she SAYS she is Christian"- I think these programs need to allow PARENTS to take this-not schools. They are just ASKING for trouble by saying, "This is bad, don't do that" -it makes some kids WANT to try things out they may never have. Every kid is different. Who knows them better-the school system or the parent?(I know in some cases, unfortunately, it is the school) I will tell you though, I am a Christian so most will already know my biblical beliefs, BUT that is MY choice of what and how to tell my kids our beliefs-and there comes a point, it is truly up to the child. Then you just have to hang on and hope you taught them right! All I know is that I want my kids to be open with me and I want them to KNOW they can talk to me even about sensitive subjects as mentioned and that I won't FLIP(well,in front of them!!)
My dad is STILL telling my 27 year old sister how to live, and how she should live-her problem was that he tried to instill morals into her life WAY too late. I keep telling him, he MISSED his chance, it is over-just pray for her now. You cannot MAKE someone eat what you cook up. When your kids are young -THAT is the chance you have for that. #5 in reasons we homeschool!!

Sorry for the ramble-Lori

 

[Pigeon]

DD comes home from school , goes straight to the fridge and says, "daddy can't have this anymore, it's a DRUG" and throws it all in the garbage. Now , this perturbed me a bit, b/c while beer CAN be a "drug" for some, in general, it is not AND no alcoholics live here.

Alcohol is most certainly a drug--it just happens to be a legal drug. But you are correct in that oversimplification is one of the big problems with DARE. I have more than a dozen nieces and nephews who went through it, and your daughter's reaction is pretty typical. I had one niece who was hysterical because mommy would drink half a dark beer every night and therefore must be a drug addict. The beer was drunk at the suggestion of my sister's doctor, as my sister was nursing a baby at the time, and the doc thought it would help increase her supply. My niece spent weeks sobbing herself to sleep every night.

One of the reasons DARE doesn't work is because there are no shades of gray with it. When you tell kids that all drugs are inherently destructive, and that marijuana is a gateway drug to heroin, methamphetamine and God only knows what, you need to realize that eventually they will see many kids who smoke pot and don't go on to become crack heads. So, they know the whole program is a crock.

They also have a huge emphasis on drug use as being a result of peer pressure. The problem is, when you investigate why kids try drugs, it turns out that only about three percent of them state peer pressure had any effect on their decision to do drugs. They try drugs for the same reason adults do.

 

[sha_lyn]

One of the reasons DARE doesn't work is because there are no shades of gray with it. When you tell kids that all drugs are inherently destructive, and that marijuana is a gateway drug to heroin, methamphetamine and God only knows what, you need to realize that eventually they will see many kids who smoke pot and don't go on to become crack heads. So, they know the whole program is a crock

Exactly... so a kid sees their parents drink a glass of wine with dinner, so according to dare they are just as bad as the women giving birth to crack babies etc. Just another reason why the kids then start seeing it as a crock, or IMHO the ideas put for by DARE undermines a parents authority.

A few months ago I had conversation with a drug counselor about marijuana being a gateway drug.
She brought up some interesting points that I do agree with

breaking the law no longer seems such a big deal. They broke the law smoking "pot" and nothing bad happened, so why believe that something bad will happen when trying the hard stuff.

On that same line. Dare makes all "drugs" equally bad, so in the teens mind if pot didn't kill them, make them a criminal, ruin their life why would another drug.

marijuana does influence judgment and perception so while under the influence it is more likely they will try another drug vs if they were not under the influence.

marijuana can be laced with other drugs. It is often a gateway to get someone to try a drug for the first time

 

[jodifla]

Hi! Teacher here

Actually, what she is saying is correct....at least for primary grades (I don't know about upper elementary). In the past year and a half, my principal has given my team (of 1st grade teachers) copies of several articles she's read that discuss this topic. She's even told my team for the past 2 years that if we decide not to assign homework at all during the year, she'll support us.

Good! I'm glad some folks are seeing the light.

Most of my homework was boring, mindless claptrap that I didn't learn a darn thing from. A few exceptions would be high school papers and project.

There have been interesting studies on this, and books on this too.

http://www.thecaseagainsthomework.com/

 

[lori1043]

Alcohol is most certainly a drug--it just happens to be a legal drug. But you are correct in that oversimplification is one of the big problems with DARE. I have more than a dozen nieces and nephews who went through it, and your daughter's reaction is pretty typical. I had one niece who was hysterical because mommy would drink half a dark beer every night and therefore must be a drug addict. The beer was drunk at the suggestion of my sister's doctor, as my sister was nursing a baby at the time, and the doc thought it would help increase her supply. My niece spent weeks sobbing herself to sleep every night.

I guess I meant drug in the pill or smoking form-I understand it is a drug, but when I hear "drug" I think pharmaceuticals(sp?), not a beer or glass of wine. I know you got what I meant though!!
I do not like beer in the house too much anyway, but it is there every so often, and I enjoy one here and there.
OT-I had a little beer every other night or so for the same reason as your sister!! Then I went on to Reglan to increase the milk supply-I figured after that it just wasn't meant to be for us! Reglan was a one time , like 2 week thing. It had too many side effects. It worked better than the beer!

Lori