Why do People think its okay to ruin Santa for kids? Update - p. 21, post 307

[Mkrop]

She's a teacher in a religious education class. She's teaching the curriculum that Christmas is about Jesus, not Santa.

Bottom line: if you want to instill and perpetuate a myth for as long as possible in your child's life, don't voluntarily send your child to a place where that myth may be brought into question. Especially not to a religious class if that myth is about a religious event or holiday.

Sorry but imo when you send your kid to a religion class the natural assumption would be they would teach the class from a religious aspect. this is not public school this is a religious class. You send your kid to a christian school don't complain when they say there is no Santa, it's about Jesus.

Why should she have to figure out how the parents is handling santa, her job is to teach the religious aspect of christmas. The place for kids to learn about the non christian aspects of christmas is called public school.

No way would my church be preaching the santa claus line, they wouldn't say the parents were lying but they definitely would not say that christmas is about Santa. no way.

What's next: Easter is about the Easter Bunny?

I have gone to Catholic school my whole life, my kids go now, and my mom taught religious education classes FOREVER, never would any of those teachers tell a student that Santa was not real. They would direct them to their parents. They can certainly teach the religious aspect of the Christmas and Advent and still have Santa be a part of it.

Our school has St Nick come and leave a candy cane in the kid's shoes. They decorate religious stuff, like Advent wreaths AND Santa decorations. We also have a Santa's Shop where the kids can shop for family. The kids sing both religious songs and more secular songs.

That is the beauty of our school, we can sing O Come all Ye Faithful AND Santa Claus is Coming to Town. We can also sing God Bless America and say the pledge! In a public school you cant do ANY of that.

Havent you ever seen the statue of Santa bowing before the Baby Jesus?

Easter is handled the same way. The focus is on the Resurrection of Jesus but no one gets upset about coloring a bunny!

OP I would be majorly ticked off and the school would be getting a phone call.

 

[robinb]

Yeah, but let the kids dream! No one has any imagination anymore, and it's really very sad. I know a family who tells their children as soon as they are old enough to understand and respond that there is no Santa Claus. It breaks my heart.

Then it must completely break your heart that my Jewish DD never believed in Santa. I also have some news for you ... it never stopped her from dreaming or using her very active imagination.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I am sorry, but I think you are over thinking it all just a bit. Goodness!

If you feel like its bribery, don't say "be good or he won't come". I have never told my kids that, why should I? I knew they were going to get gifts anyway, so wasn't much point to it. Besides I figure what is good behavior to Santa and what is good behavior to me is probably very different things.

I can't even imagine it being an actual "decision". It just is or it isn't. And, I hate to break it to you, but your kid is probably going to question the existence of God whether they believe in Santa or not. Every believer does question at some point in their lives, its normal.

I never get the need to "explain the truth". They will figure it out all by themselves, I promise you. There is no need to explain anything. Whether a parent, a teacher, a relegion teacher or whatever--there is NO NEED to explain this particular little piece of information.

Children grow up and mature. They will discover that Santa isn't quite what they have been told and they will understand that its ok and they will actually go on to still have faith in other things.

This is a great post and I agree. I personally cannot believe that kids will never trust you again when they find out.

 

[luvsJack]

Kind of like those saying I had a dysfunctional childhood ?

Sort of like you coming on this thread and saying anything about anyone lying to thier kids. Totally unnecessary in the first place. No reason for you to start out with the high horse attitude about it.

 

[C.Ann]

So let's say (hypothetically speaking of course), you were to (insert transgression here: cheat on your spouse, cheat on your taxes, drunk driving, etc.) and I was to find out about it and someone asked me if it were true. I would then have your blessing to blurt it out and tell them it was true?

Kind of like those saying I had a dysfunctional childhood ?

Did you plan on answering PrincessKsMom's question?

To answer the original question by the OP, the teacher had absolutely no business interfering in a situation that should be handled by the parents - and I don't care if it was in a religious setting or not.. I would be furious - just as furious as I would be if a science teacher in a public school told my child there is no God.. Being a "teacher" - of any sort - does not give that person the right to interfere with matters that are none of their business..

 

[DisneyScraps]

That woman had no right to do that.

That is a personal decision each parent has to make.

I would have rallied to have her job.

Something similar happened in my DDs school. It's a Christian school. The pastor was out of town and they had one of the upper class teachers to preach. He told the kids the same thing, there was no Sainta.

My DD was in first grade and didn't mention it to me. One Mom in her class mentioned it to me the next morning. I was livid.

I was impressed with the school. That afternoon we got a letter home apologizing and saying that a teacher talked to the little kids about it, it was said at the end of the sermon and the kids were not really listening. They fired the teacher and we never heard from him again.

My DD still believed. Thankfully.

Lisa

 

[mommyaof2]

I don't think the teacher had a right to do that. I do think it is a parent's decision on whether or not to believe. Santa is a really hard subject to me though. My older dd spilled the beans about Santa a couple of years ago to my younger dd and when point blank asked if he was real, I told her no and explained to her the history of Santa and she was fine with it. But, what happened the next day is she went to school and told several of her friends that Santa wasn't real. I had already told her not to do this and she did anyways. I got an email from the teacher that she was basically in trouble for this and I was upset about that! What was I supposed to do? I told her not to tell the secret of Santa, but she was only 6 at the time! It is really hard with so many different beliefs and opinions out there. Christmas is hard for my youngest dd because most of her friends still believe in Santa and she doesn't. I don't want to teach her to lie, so when asked about Santa, I just tell her to tell her friends that she doesn't believe and leave it at that. She doesn't have to tell them he isn't real, but I am tired of when the subject comes up that she feels she has to lie about it. Santa, he is just a very touchy subject I'm afraid! Good luck with what you decide to do.

 

[Magpie]

I believe in the Spirit of Christmas, and I never lied to my children. I never had a problem reconciling the two ideas - honesty and Santa.

I read them many, many books, including A Christmas Carol. I explained that I see Santa as being like the Ghost of Christmas Present, moving invisibly among us and bringing fellowship and cheer. Not all gifts come wrapped in paper and bows.

I also read them "Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus".

Because I was worried that our financial situation might not always allow us to have a big Christmas, I told the kids that their dad and I get most of the gifts. I didn't want us to ever end up in one of those ridiculous consumerist nightmares from the 80's with parents going berserk because they have to have that one special toy, or their child won't believe in Santa any more. *cough*Cabbage Patch Dolls*cough*

I never told them the one weird little unwrapped toy for each of them under the tree (in front of all the wrapped toys from their dad and I) was from Santa, but I was happy to let them assume. The "Santa toys" were always something you wouldn't see in the department stores. My son used to say, "Santa doesn't shop at Toys R Us!"

And I let my kids make up their own stories about Santa. When they asked me a question, I'd say, "What do you think?" And they'd tell me!

My son told me he thought Santa could walk through walls.

One wonderful Christmas, my daughter convinced her little brother that she actually saw Santa's boot disappearing up the chimney.

IMO "What do you think?" is the best answer to everything around Christmas. Whatever my children tell me, it's what they want to believe. When my son showed me the made in China mark on what he'd thought was an elf-made tin toy, I looked at it and said, "Hm, well, look at that." And his response was a contented, "Yeah," and he went back to playing with it. That tin wind-up toy still sits displayed proudly on his shelf, even though he's a teenager now and I'm sure he's figured out who gave it to him.

I love Christmas!

OP - I would have just asked my kids if they thought the teacher was right. Then I would have read them one of the histories of Saint Nicholas and explained that Santa is a Saint, and there's really no conflict in having both Santa and Jesus in Christmas. I would also tell that the teacher is entitled to her own beliefs, but that doesn't mean we have to believe the same things she believes. We can believe what we want.

 

[minniecarousel]

When my oldest was a toddler, Santa came into the church at the Christmas Eve Catholic Mass and knelt before the manger scene & said a prayer, before he went on his route. I know some thought that was silly, but this was a Mass was geared toward children and you should have seen the wide eyes on the little ones....priceless!

So I would have been quite upset if my 7 year-old came home from CCD class to tell me that the teacher told him that there is no Santa. Not when the area Catholic Churches didn't indicate no tolerance of Santa.

 

[Northstar]

Something to think about, before you get too upset about how your kids' Christmas is ruined because now they know about the Santa thing:

... Every one of us adults who at one time believed in Santa went through finding out the truth. Did it ruin Christmas for you? Nah. Maybe a day or two of pain, but most kids don't miss it that much, and Christmas is still exciting and magical.
It's the parents who feel the most pain at the end of the magical time of childhood. I think it's the same pain we feel about any milestone that shows the kids are growing up and leaving their childhood behind.

Personally, I don't understand why parents regard a teacher or other adult telling the truth about Santa as such a breach of their role. It's not sex education. It's not religious doctrine. It's not lies or propaganda the teacher is pushing on kids. Tactless, perhaps, and maybe a little inconsiderate of the feelings of parents for a teacher to spill the beans, but I can't believe people would seriously consider this with such outrage they'd suggest the teacher is unfit to teach.

 

[luvmy3]

Kind of like those saying I had a dysfunctional childhood ?

FTR, I don't think you had a dysfunctional childhood but you clearly have issues about letting a child believe in a little bit of magic and thinking its on the same level as deceiving them. That has to come from somewhere.

 

[Dictator]

So let's say (hypothetically speaking of course), you were to (insert transgression here: cheat on your spouse, cheat on your taxes, drunk driving, etc.) and I was to find out about it and someone asked me if it were true. I would then have your blessing to blurt it out and tell them it was true?

I would expect that people don't act like gossiping hens. If you were to tell the truth about it then so be it. If I was asked directly about it. I would tell the truth. I did what I did.

Happy C. Ann? I now fully expect you to answer each and every question asked of you on these boards now.

FTR, I don't think you had a dysfunctional childhood but you clearly have issues about letting a child believe in a little bit of magic and thinking its on the same level as deceiving them. That has to come from somewhere.

How about the ACTUAL magic of Christmas or Easter? Not some marketing campaign initiated by the Coca-Cola or JC Penny advertising departments?

HOORAY! Most of you chose to lie to your kids. While at the same time, looking down on those who choose not to. Telling people they are stealing the magic of Christmas from their children. Implying children cannot have imagination when the myth isn't forced upon him.

There are people calling for this teacher to be fired? Really? And I'M the one on the high horse?

 

[luvsJack]

When my oldest was a toddler, Santa came into the church at the Christmas Eve Catholic Mass and knelt before the manger scene & said a prayer, before he went on his route. I know some thought that was silly, but this was a Mass was geared toward children and you should have seen the wide eyes on the little ones....priceless!

So I would have been quite upset if my 7 year-old came home from CCD class to tell me that the teacher told him that there is no Santa. Not when the area Catholic Churches didn't indicate no tolerance of Santa.

How Sweet!! Love it!!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I do know several families who do not "do" Santa and they do make it about Jesus. I see nothing wrong with that.

I also see nothing wrong with letting a child enjoy the magic of "Santa". It is called FUN.

However having a teacher blab it without any forewarning was mean spirited and unChristian-like behavior. That is crossing the line.

That being said we don't believe in Santa or Jesus. We celebrate Christmas solely as a secular American holiday. I can put up my Nativity set and my Santa decorations.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I do know several families who do not "do" Santa and they do make it about Jesus. I see nothing wrong with that.

I also see nothing wrong with letting a child enjoy the magic of "Santa". It is called FUN.

However having a teacher blab it without any forewarning was mean spirited and unChristian-like behavior. That is crossing the line.

That being said we don't believe in Santa or Jesus. We celebrate Christmas solely as a secular American holiday. I can put up my Nativity set and my Santa decorations.

Given that it seems we have the report of a 7yo....without any follow up (yet) by the OP to find out what exactly actually transpired in the class....

we have no idea if the teacher was doing it to be mean--or made an all out announcement unprovoked. We don't even know if she said the exact words.

We just know that somehow, she let the cat out of the bag and in true DIS fashion, can we really say that she did all this meanly without the other side of the story?

It could be as simple as she just made a mistake.

 

[luvsJack]

I would expect that people don't act like gossiping hens. If you were to tell the truth about it then so be it. If I was asked directly about it. I would tell the truth. I did what I did.

Happy C. Ann? I now fully expect you to answer each and every question asked of you on these boards now.


How about the ACTUAL magic of Christmas or Easter? Not some marketing campaign initiated by the Coca-Cola or JC Penny advertising departments?

HOORAY! Most of you chose to lie to your kids. While at the same time, looking down on those who choose not to. Telling people they are stealing the magic of Christmas from their children. Implying children cannot have imagination when the myth isn't forced upon him.

There are people calling for this teacher to be fired? Really? And I'M the one on the high horse?[/QUOTE]

#1 I didn't "force" anything upon my child, thank you very much

#2 You came into this thread upon a high horse asking why parents choose to lie to their children. And now seem to be up on one with C.Ann.

I am always amazed that this subject is even debated on a message board dedicated to DISNEY WORLD of all places. How often do we discuss the MAGIC of Disney?? Or are you against that too?

And before you get started, I never told my kids that Mickey was real either; I just didn't tell them he wasn't. I figured they would figure it out soon enough, why not let them believe if they wanted to.

I don't think the woman should be fired, but she definitly overstepped her bounds.

 

[Tinkmom75]

IMHO, I respect other people's belief's and value systems and hope other people will respect mine. Even if you don't "do the Santa thing" celebrating Christmas at all comes with lots of controversies including the date itself which used to be a Pagan Festival before the celebration of Christmas. Mistletoe, Yule and Holly all have Pagan roots and there is much more symbolism from prior to Christianity incorporated into Christmas.

I hope we can all be tolerant of each other and not bash each other's belief's and celebrations. Ancient Pagan God's, traditions and mythology are incoporated into so much of our everyday lives. Perhaps we should rename all the planets in the solar system because most of them are named after Mythological Roman and Greek Gods.

Not to mention the Days of the week:
Sunday was named because it was the day sacred to the sun.

Monday was named because it was sacred to the moon.

Tuesday was named after Tiw, a god of war.

Wednesday was named after Woden, the leader of the gods.

Thursday was named after Thor, the god of thunder.

Friday was named after Frigge, the wife of Woden.

Saturday was named after Saturn, the god of crops and harvest.



We may not worship false gods, but they sure seem to be honored by a whole lot of people.

 

[hambirg]

I believe in the Spirit of Christmas, and I never lied to my children. I never had a problem reconciling the two ideas - honesty and Santa.

I read them many, many books, including A Christmas Carol. I explained that I see Santa as being like the Ghost of Christmas Present, moving invisibly among us and bringing fellowship and cheer. Not all gifts come wrapped in paper and bows.

I also read them "Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus".

Because I was worried that our financial situation might not always allow us to have a big Christmas, I told the kids that their dad and I get most of the gifts. I didn't want us to ever end up in one of those ridiculous consumerist nightmares from the 80's with parents going berserk because they have to have that one special toy, or their child won't believe in Santa any more. *cough*Cabbage Patch Dolls*cough*

I never told them the one weird little unwrapped toy for each of them under the tree (in front of all the wrapped toys from their dad and I) was from Santa, but I was happy to let them assume. The "Santa toys" were always something you wouldn't see in the department stores. My son used to say, "Santa doesn't shop at Toys R Us!"

And I let my kids make up their own stories about Santa. When they asked me a question, I'd say, "What do you think?" And they'd tell me!

My son told me he thought Santa could walk through walls.

One wonderful Christmas, my daughter convinced her little brother that she actually saw Santa's boot disappearing up the chimney.

IMO "What do you think?" is the best answer to everything around Christmas. Whatever my children tell me, it's what they want to believe. When my son showed me the made in China mark on what he'd thought was an elf-made tin toy, I looked at it and said, "Hm, well, look at that." And his response was a contented, "Yeah," and he went back to playing with it. That tin wind-up toy still sits displayed proudly on his shelf, even though he's a teenager now and I'm sure he's figured out who gave it to him.

I love Christmas!

OP - I would have just asked my kids if they thought the teacher was right. Then I would have read them one of the histories of Saint Nicholas and explained that Santa is a Saint, and there's really no conflict in having both Santa and Jesus in Christmas. I would also tell that the teacher is entitled to her own beliefs, but that doesn't mean we have to believe the same things she believes. We can believe what we want.

I think that's a great post, Magpie. And I think it illustrates the point that this is something left up to the parents.

For all of you claiming it's a lie to let your children believe in something they cannot see (because I believe that Santa is alive and well in the spirit of Christmas giving), I have to agree with the poster that said the same could be said about God or Christ. Would you be upset if somebody told your child that they are not real? Of course, they are entitled to their opinions, but they are adults and they don't really have the right to put those on YOUR children.

I do know quite a few atheists and they put God in the same category as Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. So are you lying to your kids about your religious beliefs? You can't prove it. It's a matter of faith. My ex FIL is a big atheist as well as my kids' aunt (his daughter). I remember one time she looked right at my oldest DD, who was about 5 at the time and said, "You don't actually believe in God, do you? That's a myth." and laughed. I was fairly pissed off. Of course my DD had lots of questions then that I had to deal with. I explained that we believe something different and quite a lot about what "faith" means.

ETA-I have to agree with Tinkmom75 above. . .just because we know that a lot of christian holidays are based on Pagan times of year. . .we all know Jesus was actually born in the spring. . not in December. . .it doesn't take away from the "spirit" of it all. Live and let live, let people celebrate their faith in the way they see fit. . if that means that Santa (and his spirit) is real. . than so be it. I'm Catholic and many people don't understand about the Virgin Mary. . .I don't really care in the end what the real truth is. What I DO care about is the spirit, and as a mother. . .she's my rock. what is wrong with that? There are other religions and other beliefs. . .I don't run around telling Buddhist children not to believe in Avalokitesvara.

 

[Happy Mom2]

I would be BEYOND FURIOUS!!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Given that it seems we have the report of a 7yo....without any follow up (yet) by the OP to find out what exactly actually transpired in the class....

we have no idea if the teacher was doing it to be mean--or made an all out announcement unprovoked. We don't even know if she said the exact words.

We just know that somehow, she let the cat out of the bag and in true DIS fashion, can we really say that she did all this meanly without the other side of the story?

It could be as simple as she just made a mistake.

Until OP gives us more info, I am going with what she posted.