Why do People think its okay to ruin Santa for kids? Update - p. 21, post 307

[Mermaid02]

What a bag! I'd give her a piece of my mind. Believing in Santa does NOT diminish the meaning of Christmas in most households.

 

[luvmy3]

I don't think it is up to this venue to help your child hold onto Santa. There may have been a better way to deal with it...but in reality, they'd have to break a commandment to keep the Santa thing real.

I taught 3rd grade at such a venue once and he never came up.

I find it difficult to condemn them in this particular circumstance for spilling the beans. But it does seem that the venue leadership should have an overall way to deal wih such matters. Even a "we can't talk about Santa here because we are hear to talk about Jesus" would accomplish the educational intent without causing heartbreak and chaos.I do have friends who deliberately do not di the Santa thing, but they also raised their kids to not spoil it for others. And she explained it beautifully. She tells her kids he truth without condemning others...just that they as a family do not participate in that tradition.

I have no problem condeming them for the way it was done, because these kids are pretty young, but I do agree with everything else you said. We have all encountered a curious kid, and there are a hundred ways to answer without spilling the beans, its pretty clear this teacher wanted to, and thats not right.

 

[wvjules]

]I have no problem condeming them for the way it was done[/B], because these kids are pretty young, but I do agree with everything else you said. We have all encountered a curious kid, and there are a hundred ways to answer without spilling the beans, its pretty clear this teacher wanted to, and thats not right.

But do we know how it was done?

Mom just knows that kid learned that there is no Santa from the teacher...no context. I doubt she just blurted it out.

 

[tlbwriter]

I don't think it is up to this venue to help your child hold onto Santa. There may have been a better way to deal with it...but in reality, they'd have to break a commandment to keep the Santa thing real.

Hmmm...

1. Don't bring up Santa.
2. If a kid asks about Santa, say "We're not going to talk about Santa, we're here to learn about Jesus."

What commandment was broken?

 

[hambirg]

Actually yes!! My kids never believed they were anything but actors in costume. Never truly understood how kids could think anything else, they aren't exactly realistic with the hard heads and unmoving fingers etc. My DD pointed this out when she was a tiny preschooler. We have always talked about how Disney does stuff and the special effects and the facades, why wouldn't you.?
They have also seen specials on the building of Disney world.

But those are YOUR kids. If you brought your kids to WDW and they still believed all the magic was real, you would be upset if the ticket taker told them as they were entering, "By the way kids, none of this is real."

I think parents should be the ones to decide when these types of things get revealed to THEIR children. . .not some random person.

Even if the kids were asking, you do what any good teacher does. . .tell them to go home and ask their parents. I was pregnant my last year of teaching. . .4th grade. . .my students used to ask me a lot of questions that were none of my business answering. I think mostly they knew the answers, but they were trying to see how I would react. I would tell them to go home and ask their parents. . .mostly about how the baby got in there.

 

[luvmy3]

But do we know how it was done?

Mom just knows that kid learned that there is no Santa from the teacher...no context. I doubt she just blurted it out.

According to the OP, the teacher told them Santa was a lie made up by the parents, so that way.

 

[hambirg]

I think the teacher was wrong but I thikn the above bolded is getting a little carried away.

I don't think so. Those kids are still pretty small. She took something from them that was none of her business to do.

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

OP, have you even spoke to the teacher regarding what or how it was said in the class. At 7 sometimes stories get a bit "changed". It could have been a bunch of children who actually started the talk that there was no Santa Claus. I would first talk to the teacher before condemning them.

And when my children were made aware of the fact that an actual "Santa" was not going to sneak into our house, they were taught about the Spirit of Christmas. The aspect of giving, more than receiving. The thought that a day of toys is not common in our home, and no matter what, the Spirit of Christmas is far more believable and goes along with our Catholic upbringing.

As for St. Nicholas, it would be also wrong to teach a child that Saints come to the house. You pray to Saints for guidance and comfort. Saint Nicholas is the go-to Saint and is also the Patron Saint of Prisoners and Prostitutes. The reality is everyone needs guidance in life.

 

[MUFFYCAT]

That was just wrong on the teacher's part 100%.

What DH & I chose to tell or not tell our children is still our choice & no one else's.

I agree. If that happen to one of my kids I'd be calling the school/church and raise a stink!!!

 

[AndyLL]

As for St. Nicholas, it would be also wrong to teach a child that Saints come to the house. You pray to Saints for guidance and comfort. Saint Nicholas is the go-to Saint and is also the Patron Saint of Prisoners and Prostitutes. The reality is everyone needs guidance in life.

St Nicholas is more then the 'go-to Saint'.

http://www.catholic.org/saints/saint.php?saint_id=371

 

[*BTMRR*]

Absolutely an adult doesn't need to be telling kids.

But as a Mom who doesn't "do" Santa and never has (we talk about Santa, the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, characters at Disney, and so on being "fun to pretend" and believe me we have just as much "magic" as anyone else), I am getting tired of having to force my kids to keep up the pretense for other kids. It's HARD to make an 8-year-old lie when his friend asks him, "Do you believe in Santa?" or "What is Santa bringing you this year?"
I've told my kids very sternly--on threat of grounding--that they are NOT to tell ANYONE that Santa isn't real, and as far as I know they've never maliciously told that to anyone, but I've overheard several instances of my 8- or 9-year-olds telling their classmates (when asked point-blank) that no, they don't believe in Santa and that Santa is just fun to pretend.
This happened the other day with DS 8 who told another 8-year-old that he doesn't believe in Santa and that Santa is just fun to pretend about. The mother of the other 8-year-old was clearly perturbed and said, "Well, if you don't believe, you don't receive" and the other child said, "Yeah, you're not getting ANY presents! Too bad for you!" DS wasn't sure how to respond to that and it hurt his feelings even though he knows it's not true.

It really is hard, and even though the adult in the OP's situation should have kept her mouth shut, it's possible that she was asked point-blank "Is Santa Claus real?" and it was hard for her to lie or to come up with a more open response that seemed appropriate in the setting of a religious classroom.

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

St Nicholas is more then the 'go-to Saint'.

http://www.catholic.org/saints/saint.php?saint_id=371

I am 100% with you. My children grew up with St. Nicholas and the fact that he is the Patron Saint of Children. But they also were taught that he lived and died for his beliefs along with other Saints. So if my child were at a Catholic Ed class I would not expect them to confirm that it was St. Nicholas who came to our house on December 6th. and filled the stocking/shoes.

I was just trying to point out that without speaking directly to the teacher we really don't have the whole story. Maybe the teacher is bitter and miserable, or maybe they were trying to stop some teasing that was going on in the classroom. When you teach your children about Santa Claus as a person who comes and drops off gifts at the house, you have to prepare to explain the truth at some point. I don't agree or disagree with the teacher. I just think that putting Santa Claus, St. Nicholas, and Jesus all in the same teaching is wrong. It's my opinion and may not be others. That is okay with me.

 

[luvmy3]

Absolutely an adult doesn't need to be telling kids.

But as a Mom who doesn't "do" Santa and never has (we talk about Santa, the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, characters at Disney, and so on being "fun to pretend" and believe me we have just as much "magic" as anyone else), I am getting tired of having to force my kids to keep up the pretense for other kids. It's HARD to make an 8-year-old lie when his friend asks him, "Do you believe in Santa?" or "What is Santa bringing you this year?"
I've told my kids very sternly--on threat of grounding--that they are NOT to tell ANYONE that Santa isn't real, and as far as I know they've never maliciously told that to anyone, but I've overheard several instances of my 8- or 9-year-olds telling their classmates (when asked point-blank) that no, they don't believe in Santa and that Santa is just fun to pretend.
This happened the other day with DS 8 who told another 8-year-old that he doesn't believe in Santa and that Santa is just fun to pretend about. The mother of the other 8-year-old was clearly perturbed and said, "Well, if you don't believe, you don't receive" and the other child said, "Yeah, you're not getting ANY presents! Too bad for you!" DS wasn't sure how to respond to that and it hurt his feelings even though he knows it's not true.

It really is hard, and even though the adult in the OP's situation should have kept her mouth shut, it's possible that she was asked point-blank "Is Santa Claus real?" and it was hard for her to lie or to come up with a more open response that seemed appropriate in the setting of a religious classroom.

Your kids don't need to lie, if someome asks them if they believe why would you think they couldn't say no, or if someone asks what they are getting from Santa why can't they say Santa doesn't come to our house?
If the kid they are replying to goes back and tells their mom and dad what your ds says, that parent can choose to tell their kid the truth, or keep up belief of Santa. Your kids do not need to lie to anyone
My youngest just told me the other day that his friend told him Santa wasn't real, it wasn't a big deal and I would never expect another little kid to have to lie to my child about it. An adult teacher is another story.

 

[plutotek]

Having been the product of a Catholic education, I can state for a fact that while my religious instruction was slanted towards church doctrine, the time between mid-November and Christmas (no, not winter/holiday) break was spent not only on the writings pertaining to Christmas, but also the more secular aspects of the holiday. The tree, mistletoe, the true 12 days of Christmas, Santa/St. Nick; they were all included and at no time was it EVER mentioned that Santa was a lie/didn't exist, and this was a class taught by a nun from the old school. So, no, the teacher had no business inserting her personal opinion into the mix.

 

[ICF]

A couple of points - this is a catholic church. I have never seen catholics assert that santa is not allowed - in fact they also talk about St. Nick. And it is very easy to discuss teh religious aspects of Christmas without even mentioning Santa at all, which is what should have been done.

+1

I went to Catholic school religious Ed classes, and my kids (10 & 8) do now.

Not once has anyone felt the need to discuss Santa's place in the world in those classes.

You can teach about the birth of Christ & Christmas w/o killing a kids belief in Santa.

 

[mickeysgal]

NOW it's the holiday season. Doesn't officially start until the DIS get's it's first "So-and-so ruined Santa for my kid!" post.
Merry Christmas one and all!

Now we just need Jeafl's gifts-from-MIL post and I'm all set.

You're absolutely right!!

And that "teacher" and I use that term loosely, was way, way, out of line. No teacher of any value would wreak that kind of emotional havoc on small children that, at that age, you have to assume, may still believe in Santa.

It wasn't her call, it wasn't her responsibility, she didn't have permission, it wasn't appropriate, and it was wrong. I don't care if it was in a church setting or not. It wasn't up to her to take it upon herself to enlighten the children. Period.

 

[ICF]

...but in reality, they'd have to break a commandment to keep the Santa thing real.

Is there a...Thou shall not believe in a fat guy in a red suit who when he laughs has belly that shakes like a bowl full of jelly?!?!?

Cause, I really dont see any of these 10 that discuss Santa...

1.I am the LORD your God. You shall worship the Lord your God and Him only shall you serve.
2. You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain.
3. Remember to keep holy the Sabbath day.
4. Honor your father and your mother.
5. You shall not kill.
6. You shall not commit adultery.
7. You shall not steal.
8. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.
9. You shall not covet your neighbor's wife.
10. You shall not covet your neighbor's goods.

 

[smb6]

I agree that given the age of the children the teachers should have given a warning about what their discussion would be since the majority of children that age believe in Santa.

Just to give a slightly different perception: We don't "do santa". I have young children and I get highly frustrated at santa is forced on them. We celelbrate Jesus' birthday and have a party decked out with balloons, cake, and lots of presents- believe me they are not doing with out! I have taught my kids that many kids believe in santa and it is NOT their job to inform kids otherwise- when they hear people talk about santa- they say nothing do discourage their conversations, nor do I. I don't think there is anything wrong with it, it's just not what we do.
However, if someone directly asks my kids a question and my children politely say we don't believe in santa, but I would like so and so for Christmas or answer appropriatly- the adult always feels the need to correct my child and insist santa is real! I get soo upset. This even happens in school. So the teacher can't insist Jesus is real, but will not allow my child not to believe in santa?? As you can tell- this is a pet peeve of mine!
As I said to start- under the circumstances that teacher should have recognize that most children believe in santa and gave the parents the option to listen or not listen to that teaching....

 

[RadioFanatic]

I agree that given the age of the children the teachers should have given a warning about what their discussion would be since the majority of children that age believe in Santa.

Just to give a slightly different perception: We don't "do santa". I have young children and I get highly frustrated at santa is forced on them. We celelbrate Jesus' birthday and have a party decked out with balloons, cake, and lots of presents- believe me they are not doing with out! I have taught my kids that many kids believe in santa and it is NOT their job to inform kids otherwise- when they hear people talk about santa- they say nothing do discourage their conversations, nor do I. I don't think there is anything wrong with it, it's just not what we do.
However, if someone directly asks my kids a question and my children politely say we don't believe in santa, but I would like so and so for Christmas or answer appropriatly- the adult always feels the need to correct my child and insist santa is real! I get soo upset. This even happens in school. So the teacher can't insist Jesus is real, but will not allow my child not to believe in santa?? As you can tell- this is a pet peeve of mine!
As I said to start- under the circumstances that teacher should have recognize that most children believe in santa and gave the parents the option to listen or not listen to that teaching....

And I agree the above is bad as well.

 

[Polyluvr]

She's a teacher in a religious education class. She's teaching the curriculum that Christmas is about Jesus, not Santa.

Bottom line: if you want to instill and perpetuate a myth for as long as possible in your child's life, don't voluntarily send your child to a place where that myth may be brought into question. Especially not to a religious class if that myth is about a religious event or holiday.

ummmm; No way in Heck! I send my son's to a catholic school~ all teacher's help to perpetuate the magical spirit of loving all and sharing w all =Santa.

They even go as far as having a Santa's workshop that the kids can shop in for their family members.

Your rationale is Bunk IMHO~

If that would have been my child~ that teacher would be looking for another job