why do people feel the need to cut on housewives?

[worm761]

i try to be very nonjudgemental. i think that every family should do what is right for their family. no questions asked. well, this just has my dander up! the other day i was listening to the morning show on the radio. they were discussing housewives. and how it is such a horrible thing for a woman to stay home and take care of her husband! now, i dont run around telling working wives/mothers that they are horrible for their choice. i do what is right for my family. i like being home, taking care of and homeschooling my son, and taking care of kevin. we are not married but live together and he supports me, my DS and our disney habit. i like my life! if you ask me~ i have it made! (can you tell i am happy?) anyway, i was on the way to the laundry mat. my friend is the attendant and i was telling her about it. i was rather offended by over half the comments of these women calling in. she agreed with me. you dont knock someones choices as long as they are not harming anyone else. well....another woman overheard our conversation and proceeded to tell me everything that was wrong with my way of life! i dont feel the need to justify my decisions to anyone, let alone a stranger! i told her my life is none of her business and went on with my conversation. rude, i know, but she asked for it when she butted into my conversation. i didnt bother to tell her what i thought about her and her way of life. so see, i wasnt totally rude.

why do people feel so threatened by other peoples choices? thank you for listening. vent over!

 

[Luckymommyx2]

You handled it better than I would have. Some people get the perception that stay at home moms sit around on the couch and eat bon bons all day. I homeschool both of my children (we can discuss judgements on that one later), keep the house in good shape (not spotless with two young ones), manage all the household finances...you get the picture. I just feel fortunate that I've been able to make the choice of staying home to raise and teach my children. I do not judge those that have not made the same choices as I have. Everyone has to do what they feel is best and what they are most comfortable with. Some are not so lucky as to even have a choice. Those that are so judgemental just suffer from insecurities. JMHO! I'm with ya' Angela!

 

[Disney Doll]

I have always been of the opinion that if a couple has children and can afford to have one of the parents stay home with the children, that it is an ideal situation.

That is not to knock households who have both parents working outside the home...obviously, we all do what is best for our families the best way we know how.

I think the woman in the laundromat was jealous.

 

[grinningghost]

First let me say, I admire anyone who can homeschool their children. That, to me, seems like the hardest job ever. I know I'd never be able to do it. So good going ladies!

It's not right for working mothers to bash stay home moms or vice versa. Everyone should live their own life and be thankful we women have the choice to live it the way we want to.

I've been both a working mom and a stay home mom and honestly, both have their good and bad points. I stay home now and I don't even know what a bon-bon is!

 

[worm761]

thank you. i tried to be as polite as i could. but like i said, i will not justify my decisions to anyone.

luckymom~ my sister asked me what i do all day! i went to visit in january. every day when she came home, i had already taught my DS school for the day, done what laundry could be done, and had the house cleaned for her. i started to give her my daily schedule and she was amazed by time i hit noon!

 

[SeaSpray]

Originally posted by Disney Doll
I have always been of the opinion that if a couple has children and can afford to have one of the parents stay home with the children, that it is an ideal situation.

That is not to knock households who have both parents working outside the home...obviously, we all do what is best for our families the best way we know how.

I think the woman in the laundromat was jealous.

Very well said!!

 

[Luckymommyx2]

Thanks grinningghost! It's always nice to receive a compliment.

Angela, it sounds like you have a supportive family which is great. I still have some family that is apprehensive at some of my choices, ex homeschooling. I just know that what I'm doing is the right thing for my family. Things are tight with me not working any more but I would rather give up an extra vacation a year for the opportunity to stay at home. Yes, there are times when I wish I could feel as important, make that appreciated, as when I was in the corporate world but those days are far and few between.

 

[worm761]

i dont give my family much choice. i am very stubborn. i dont miss working at all. before we moved to new york i worked anywhere between 50 and 60 hours a week. i missed my DS's first words, his first steps, his first everything. and i will never get that back. he was 4 when we moved. he is an only and i cant have anymore. i try to do what is best for him. i guess at the end of the road i just want to be able to look back and say "i made some mistakes but i did what i thought was best. and tried my best." i think in the end that is what we all really want.

 

[Dan Murphy]

Kudos to you all.

 

[Goofyposter]

the other day i was listening to the morning show on the radio. they were discussing housewives. and how it is such a horrible thing for a woman to stay home and take care of her husband!/kids

Don't pay any attention to those who would drag you down!!!

You are doing a wonderful thing....

 

[debster812]

worm--I am a mom, and work outside the home. You are a mom, and you work in/at your home. We both WORK. (ya know?)

That being said, I do not think I could EVER do what you are doing. To have the patience to homeschool, wow, my hat is off to you. Now, I would love to not be working 40+ hours a week, but right now, that is my reality. I am hoping that that can change as my son gets a little older.

I cannot stand the whole working outside the home/SAHM debate. It's pointless, it gets us nowhere, and it just hurts everyone!!!

You are raising your child and taking care of your family. Quite well from the sounds of it. Keep it up!

 

[helenabear]

I just had to say that after watching all my mom did for us while we were kids, I have great respect for stay at home moms. It is quite a job in itself and I think that if you can afford to do it and want to do it, that it is a great thing!!!

Of course if you aren't a stay at home mom, that is great too! I think that as long as you are happy doing it (with whatever you are doing), that you shouldn't be ridiculed for it!!!

 

[Dream]

I think it was Snoopy who posted a thread yesterday about a SAHM who was giving her a hard time about working. The insults get slung both ways I think. It is such a shame that women as a whole cannot support eachother in the vast array of choices that are open to us today! One is not better or worse than the other...but rather an individual decision we make for our own life. I am a SAHM too...and I love it! I feel that , for us, life works more smoothly this way. DH works knowing that I am taking care of the "home front" ....it's very nice. But I know some women don't enjoy this role and for them there are other choices. We all just have to do what makes us the happiest.

 

[RitaZ.]

Don't pay any attention to those who would drag you down!!

Excellent advice!

Angela, you don't owe anyone an explanation for the choices that you've made and how you live your life.

As for the woman's comment, who cares what she thinks? You're doing what is right for yourself and your family.

 

[WillyJ]

You should have told her you don't generally take life advice from people in laundry mats. . .


Seriously, that was very rude of that person and you did the right thing by cutting her off. . everyone's situation is different, and unless a person is doing something that hurts others the way they chose to live their live should be respected. .

 

[4greatboys]

I just dont see how its anyones business what other families do. I have been on both sides of the fence I was a working mom when my first 2 boys were little. They stayed with my grandmother during the day so I knew they were well cared for but I still wanted to be home with them. This caused lots of problems between my and my X.
Now remarried I was able to be a sahm when ds #3 was born. He is now 3 yrs old and the youngest is 10 months old. I love being at home with them. I'm able to take my 2 oldest to school, go on field trips, go to their football games etc.
I imagine I will have to go back to work when my 2 oldest start college. I want them to be able to go and not worry about if they will have the money or not.
I just dont think its right for people to say bad things to others for the choices they have made. We dont know why they have made that choice and nor do we need to know.

 

[Planogirl]

Why are so many people concerned with HOW MUCH someone else supposedly does? Of those people who work outside the home, some work "harder" than others. And the same is true of those that work inside the home. Besides, what is hard work to one person may be not so hard to someone else. I get so tired of judgemental people!

Ok, rant over. Everyone should just do what is best for themselves and their families IMO.

 

[WillyJ]

Well said Plano Girl!!!

 

[FINFAN]

All I know is at the end of the day we're ALL tired...SAHM or otherwise! Each day we all do our best for our loved ones. The saying "walk a mile in my shoes..." pretty much says it all, for both sides.

 

[Spirit Feather]

I still consider myself a SAHM, even though I work outside the home about 30 hours a week. I kow that sounds crazy! My kids are asleep when I work my morning shift (6:30-9:15ish) and I take my son with me for the afternoon shift (3:00-6:00).

I still do all of the homeschooling/SAHM stuff in between. Some days I even manage to get dinner started so my teen can finish it. And it is not like I have a hard job! There are no deadlines or reports, no decisions to be made. I sit and play with kids the whole time--I would be doing that anyhow, so I may as well be paid for it!