Why Do People Do This...?

[AKL_Megs]

Forget it.

I'm sorry, I didn't think I would or want to come off as whiny or like a complainer, but alas I did, and I wasn't going to do that here anymore. Carry on, sorry.

 

[tiggersbombed2]

Amen. A simple, courteous request to pick up the delinquent Aunt Millie would be much more in line. I don't mind giving someone a ride (usually ) but being TOLD you are going to do would chafe my butt.

 

[dakcp2001]

I'd be busy that day. But that is just me. Are you planning to attend and they want you to drive someone, or were you not planning to attend and now they want you to drive somoene?

Either way, they will find someone else.

I have crazy in laws to, so hugs for putting up with it!

 

[eliza61]

... Invite EVERY Tom, Dick and Harry they EVER met to "showers", and volunteer other people for things?

I've been attending DH's family functions - weddings, showers, funerals, parties - for almost 12 years, and I have NEVER met "Aunt Millie" before. And isn't it funny (or convenient) how she lives "right in my area" and I "can pick her up on my way to the baby shower".



I REALLY hate how people come out of the woodwork when presents are in the picture, and I hate how people TELL you you are doing something instead of ASKING.

LOL. Hey my niece had a bridal shower 2 years ago and had our gifts picked out already. The insert with the invitation actually said "Deana" is having a themed bridal shower. You have been assigned the "kitchen" area. Please consider the following gifts..... and there was only one listed. A kitchen aide mixer.

Isn't family precious.

 

[AKL_Megs]

I've yet to decide if I want to pick her up. I hate how you feel "stuck" if you want to leave early/stay late/go someplace after/whatever... I AM going to the shower.

 

[Becky2005]

Ok, the volunteering you to drive would be a problem.

However, the inviting everyone you know was ingrained in my brain because we have had so many silly in family fighting of "I'm not going to invite Cousin A because Cousin B didn't show up to Cousin C's event" It is/was beyond crazy because they wouldn't talk for a year or so, then they would get over it and then Cousin D would be on the not speaking list. My mom ALWAYS had a rule to avoid such nonsense -- invite EVERYONE (family wise) and if they choose to come great, if they don't fine -- we aren't going to keep tabs of what they showed up to previously and NOT invite them for any major events. So, weddings, showers, graduation parties & the like -- everyone gets invited.

I think it was paid back on her 70th birthday party we had for her -- I was utterly AMAZED at how many people actually came. Nearly everyone we invited actually came. Of course, it might also have to do with the fact that one of my aunt's had died a couple months before and I think they realized that they are all older now and these events may be few and far between now.

 

[OceanAnnie]

That would be an awkward and long ride. "Hi, I'm here to pick you up. Nice to meet you.".

Yes. I would feel stuck and not too happy about it. I think I would be looking for a way out pretty quick. Next thing you know, you'll be taking Aunt Millie to the grocery store and to her doctor appointments, and all other family functons. That's how it sometimes starts.

Aren't there other family members (that know her) nearby?

Good luck with that one!

ETA- What was your response to the request? Oh and who had been taking Aunt Millie before you were volunteered?

 

[kaytieeldr]

LOL. Hey my niece had a bridal shower 2 years ago and had our gifts picked out already. The insert with the invitation actually said "Deana" is having a themed bridal shower. You have been assigned the "kitchen" area. Please consider the following gifts..... and there was only one listed. A kitchen aide mixer.

Isn't family precious.

"Dear 'Deana',

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding. I considered giving you a Kitchen Aide mixer as suggested, but determined this Sunbeam hand blender with its self-contained storage bin would be the better gift. Please enjoy it with my love."

 

[horseshowmom]

LOL. Hey my niece had a bridal shower 2 years ago and had our gifts picked out already. The insert with the invitation actually said "Deana" is having a themed bridal shower. You have been assigned the "kitchen" area. Please consider the following gifts..... and there was only one listed. A kitchen aide mixer.
Isn't family precious.

Yep, that's pretty nervy.

I'm another one who doesn't believe in sending invitations to everybody I've ever crossed paths with (regardless of whether it's graduation, showers, whatever).

I also have to admit that I HATE showers to start with. I am very much a tomboy (have been my whole life) and am just not into sitting around with a bunch of women oohhing and aahhing over gifts. It's fine for those who are into it, but it's not me.

Our church has recently started come and go teas for the showers between such and such times. You can drop in anytime during that timeframe, have some cake and punch, and not feel obligated to stay the whole time.

 

[ols386]

... Invite EVERY Tom, Dick and Harry they EVER met to "showers", and volunteer other people for things?

I've been attending DH's family functions - weddings, showers, funerals, parties - for almost 12 years, and I have NEVER met "Aunt Millie" before. And isn't it funny (or convenient) how she lives "right in my area" and I "can pick her up on my way to the baby shower".



I REALLY hate how people come out of the woodwork when presents are in the picture, and I hate how people TELL you you are doing something instead of ASKING.

I don't know how old Aunt Millie is, but if she is elderly, maybe it's difficult for her to get out and about. If it was right on my way, I wouldn't hesitate to pick her up and drive her to and from the shower.

Since you are the one driving, you can leave the shower whenever you please, and if Aunt Millie wants a ride home, then she can leave when you do.

Or, if you don't like how things are being handled, then just don't go at all.

 

[nmmom95]

I don't know how old Aunt Millie is, but if she is elderly, maybe it's difficult for her to get out and about. If it was right on my way, I wouldn't hesitate to pick her up and drive her to and from the shower.

Since you are the one driving, you can leave the shower whenever you please, and if Aunt Millie wants a ride home, then she can leave when you do.

Or, if you don't like how things are being handled, then just don't go at all.

I agree with this. If she lives near you, I really don't see the big deal. It's just a ride to a place you're going anyway.

 

[FlyingDumbo]

I cant help but think if they are asking someone who doesnt know Aunt Millie to pick her up, there is probably a reason. She might be like my Aunt Barb who is the meanest lady alive. lol. Or she might be a sweet little old lady, but it is odd to me that they would ask somoene who doesnt know her to go get her.

There isnt ONE person who knows her that could pick her up? Odd right?

 

[disney_mommy]

I don't know how old Aunt Millie is, but if she is elderly, maybe it's difficult for her to get out and about. If it was right on my way, I wouldn't hesitate to pick her up and drive her to and from the shower.

Since you are the one driving, you can leave the shower whenever you please, and if Aunt Millie wants a ride home, then she can leave when you do.

Or, if you don't like how things are being handled, then just don't go at all.

Exactly.

 

[FlyingDumbo]

"Dear 'Deana',

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding. I considered giving you a Kitchen Aide mixer as suggested, but determined this Sunbeam hand blender with its self-contained storage bin would be the better gift. Please enjoy it with my love."

haha love this.

 

[N&B'smom]

You'd LOVE my family then. My cousins (who live all within a 10 mile radius of me) haven't invited me to their bridal showers, weddings or even baby showers. (not just me, my sister in law as well) At first I found it kind of rude but now, I am thrilled!!! Saved me TONS of money!!!! (that would have been 3 bridal showers, 3 weddings and 3 baby showers all in the last 2 years!)

 

[robinb]

... Invite EVERY Tom, Dick and Harry they EVER met to "showers", and volunteer other people for things?

I've been attending DH's family functions - weddings, showers, funerals, parties - for almost 12 years, and I have NEVER met "Aunt Millie" before. And isn't it funny (or convenient) how she lives "right in my area" and I "can pick her up on my way to the baby shower".



I REALLY hate how people come out of the woodwork when presents are in the picture, and I hate how people TELL you you are doing something instead of ASKING.

So, is Aunt Millie out of the way? Is it really any skin off your nose to pick her up? Someone needs a ride and you live near her and it's simply the nice thing to do. I guess I don't understand why all the drama over being asked to do someone a favor.

 

[ols386]

I cant help but think if they are asking someone who doesnt know Aunt Millie to pick her up, there is probably a reason. She might be like my Aunt Barb who is the meanest lady alive. lol. Or she might be a sweet little old lady, but it is odd to me that they would ask somoene who doesnt know her to go get her.

There isnt ONE person who knows her that could pick her up? Odd right?

It doesn't seem odd to me, knowing that Aunt Millie lives near Megs. I took it that Aunt Millie's house was on Megs way to the the location of the shower, and that's why she was asked/told to pick her up.

 

[disneychic2]

Are you bothered more about being told rather than asked or actually picking someone up and taking them? The way I look at it, this is an opportunity to do a good deed for someone in need. It isn't Aunt Millie's fault that you were told rather than asked. She may be a lovely person. You are doing someone a favor. It's a small blip in your life. If you can find it in your heart to take the high road and be gracious about it, I think you will be glad you did. One day it may be you needing a favor. Just a thought.

 

[AKL_Megs]

The funny thing is, I don't even know yet if I work that day! I just hope they aren't planning on me being Millie's only option to the function.

I could care less about driving her, but ASK me, don't TELL me. I just don't get why people do that.

 

[ols386]

The funny thing is, I don't even know yet if I work that day! I just hope they aren't planning on me being Millie's only option to the function.

I could care less about driving her, but ASK me, don't TELL me. I just don't get why people do that.

I can understand that you don't like being TOLD to pick her up. It would be nice if they had asked you, rather than telling you. If it bothers you so much, then talk to the person who TOLD you, and politely say that you don't appreciate being told, that it would be nice if you were asked. And if it still bothers you alot, then just let Aunt Millie, or whoever, know that you cannot go.

You say that you don't get why people do that (ask rather than tell). I can tell you why, because sometimes people don't stop to think about how they might be coming off. I'm sure I've said things that didn't come off too well to someone else. We're human, and sometimes we do that.