Why do other people care where you stay? longwinded...

[PolyAddict]

I can totally relate to this. We have extended family in the Orlando area and we've been known to sneak in and out of the state without telling anyone that we're there. I think most of us do understand what you're trying to say, even though it may not have come across that well when you typed it. I agree with staying in the resort that fits your budget and vacation style. What I would do next, before things get too out of hand is sit down with your sisters and plan an itinerary. Pick a few times to meet for meals and maybe a big fireworks cruise or something along those lines. Other than that, I would make it clear that you are on your own time. Unfortunately, while they could come over to the Poly and eat or use the water sports area, they can't sit at the pool or use those facilities. That may be something that they are assuming can happen as Disney resort guests.

I don't envy you at all.

I think she mentioned coming to my resort out of frustration with me not willing to change and if she pushes coming over for a swim, I am just going to have to be park hopping or having dinner at that time. Thanks for the advice about the cruise, I've never done one but it sounds interesting.

 

[lady9]

If I am reading the OP correctly, this is a family of 5. I think they would have to get 2 rooms at POP unless 1 is under 3 years old. I would use that as my argument to stay where I pleased. I, personally, would not like to sleep in 2 different rooms because it can't be guarenteed they will be connecting.

My DH's family all have DVC and stay at those resorts while we prefer WL, CR, and Poly. We usually eat dinner together and decide on a plan for the next day. We keep in contact by cell phone and meet up when we want to. The best family vacations are those that don't involve forced togetherness. Remember-absence makes the heart grow fonder!

 

[Castillo Mom]

Ok, again, this came out wrong. I haved worked all of my life and my sisters sit back and watch their husbands work 2 jobs just to get by. One of the husbands is sucha good guy and I feel bad for him, he is never home. If it were entirely up to me I would compromise on a mod, my DH would not, we stayed POR before and it was cramped and he was not happy.

I know that when we put things in writing, what we say doesn't always come out right. It seems to me though that there is a family dynamic here that is deeper than hotel choice and it is unfortunate that you're so frustrated with your sisters that you bash them on a public discussion forum. You may not mean any harm but how would they feel if they ever read your posts? I don't know your sisters so I'm just guessing here but maybe their husbands work two jobs because they wanted to allow them to be stay-at-home moms. I don't mean any harm with what I've said, just some food for thought, KWIM?

That being said, I also would not want to change my resort not because I would never stay at a value but because like you, I've worked very hard to save in order to stay at a deluxe and have been planning this trip for 2 years. In fact my family was in the same boat. I have reservations at the Polynesian and my extended family was staying elsewhere. My SIL also had the idea of hanging out with us at our pool. I politely told her that pool hopping isn't allowed and they at times verify that you're staying there by asking to see your hotel key. She completely understood and honestly didn't know about the pool rules. Although things worked out for them to be able to switch to the Polynesian, I realized that my SIL just wanted us to be together not only for family time but for convenience. I don't think your sisters mean to intrude although it may seem like it - again, I don't know them. I hope you're able to reach some sort of compromise and I hope you have a wonderful trip and are able to create some great family memories.

 

[maxiesmom]

If I am reading the OP correctly, this is a family of 5. I think they would have to get 2 rooms at POP unless 1 is under 3 years old. I would use that as my argument to stay where I pleased. I, personally, would not like to sleep in 2 different rooms because it can't be guarenteed they will be connecting.

This is what I was thinking too. Your family will not fit in one value room. So does sis really expect you to divide your family up in to 2 seperate rooms? Or does she not realize this?

If you really feel that you all should stay together, maybe ask her if she can upgrade to POR, where your family could all stay together in one room. Though honestly I would probably stay at the Poly, staying at POR would at least be meeting in the middle.

If you do choose to stay at the Poly, make sure she knows that there is no way her family is able to use the pool. It is not allowed, and I wouldn't want her to put you in a bad spot.

 

[TDC Nala]

Since you didn't invite the sister, stay where you want to stay and give her the option of meeting up with you when it fits YOUR schedule.

I have a family trip coming up in August...my brother's family is staying on my points at OKW and my mother and I are on free dining at Pop. And I will like it that way.

 

[PolyAddict]

castillo mom-I didn't write this to bash them, just to vent to other dissers.my sister are in their 50's and have grandchildren and choose not to work because they have different work ethics than I do. They have never really worked and complain about what their significant others make, but are unwilling to help out.

lady9 and maiesmom- we are a family of five ages at time of trip are 7, 15 and 16. 2 value rooms would be according to 2007 rates $220 plus tax, whereas staying where we want is $165 more a night.

 

[Castillo Mom]

castillo mom-I didn't write this to bash them, just to vent to other dissers.my sister are in their 50's and have grandchildren and choose not to work because they have different work ethics than I do. They have never really worked and complain about what their significant others make, but are unwilling to help out.

I'm sorry, that's too bad your sisters don't appreciate the hard work their husbands do. I can understand needing to vent. OP, I didn't mean to offend and I apologize if I have. I just feel like family is so important. And vacations should be pleasurable not stressful and it seems like this whole thing is causing you some grief. I hope things work out ok for all of you.

 

[minnie61650]

I don't care where you stay but I think your sis really wants to enjoy more time with you and thinks it would lots of fun if you could stay at the same resort with her.


-----------------------------------------------------------
Sadly I used to think I would NEVER stay at a value resort.

That was pre 2001.
Then in 2001 we went on a trip with my sis to Disney and since she was staying at the All Stars ( because they suited her budget better than the other resorts).

I decided DH and I should stay there also so we could spend more time with my sis and I did not want to hurt her feelings by staying at a nicer resort. She would feel that the nicer resort was more important to me than spending some quailty with her and I could never hurt my sister like that.

I was worried about staying there. I had heard the stories of the tiny rooms and the "tacky" decor.

Once I was at the All Stars and I saw the nice landscaping around the grounds and Donald Duck at the pool (Donald is my fav Disney character) I began to relax a little. There was always plenty of lounge chairs to relax by pool. The buses were a lot better at All Star Music than they had been during my stays at the CR and CBR.
I loved watching the little ones having so much fun with Donald spraying them from his pistols when they were swimming.
To me staying at a Disney value is like stepping into a Disney Movie Fantasyland. It is
an extension of the theme parks. It is Disney Magic!
At least that is the way I feel about them.



Have fun at Disney wherever you choose to stay!

 

[Sammie]

Ok, again, this came out wrong. I haved worked all of my life and my sisters sit back and watch their husbands work 2 jobs just to get by. One of the husbands is sucha good guy and I feel bad for him, he is never home. If it were entirely up to me I would compromise on a mod, my DH would not, we stayed POR before and it was cramped and he was not happy.

I would say this pretty much sums up the problem. This is more about family feelings toward each other and less about Disney resorts. It simply intensifies when you try to vacation together.

Just my 2 cents.

 

[Us3]

Oh my goodness. I read your post and a few of the replies....geez. I think all you were trying to do is vent...perhaps some of your comments were taken wrong because it's hard to type your feelings of anger without making "someone" mad.....

Bottom line...this is YOUR family vacation. You booked it, planned it and you should stay where you want to stay. Your sister invited themselves along and thats great, more family fun....BUT, they should stay where ever they want and/or can afford. I dont think its reasonable for them to ask you to change your plans if that's not something you want to do. Just like you shouldn't pressure them into staying at Poly if that's not something they are willing to do (and I don't think you did this at all).

Maybe you can re-direct the conversations you share with your sister to things that you CAN do together. Maybe you can suggest a special dinner, or maybe an Illuminations cruise?? This would be something to get excited about and take the focus off of the resort dilima!! Let them know that you are looking forward to just hanging out at your resort and that's something that is important to you guys as a family.

Do you think that would work with your sister?

Have fun, and try not to get caught up in thier drama. Have a great time with your family and enjoy the time you get to spend with your extened family too.

 

[BionicEar]

I am very close to my family, we try to get together for dinner at least once or twice a month, our children all play together. I can depend on them for anything, and they know that I got their backs too. We have spent family vacations together at the beach and it was so much fun. That said..there is no way I'd invite anyone to come along on our Disney family vacation. I work very hard to plan these vacations and if you're not a planner you just wouldn't understand. It's also a very special time for just the 4 of us to be together and enjoy each others company. It would change the dynamic of the vacation if we had other people along. I know it sounds selfish, but we work very hard to afford these vacations, and we want to plan every last detail how WE want.

I totally understand what you're saying here. I would feel exactly the same way. It's not about you looking down on anyone or being selfish. This is about you and your family and your time together. If I were you I'd just stay at the Poly as planned and let them do Pop and plan to meet up when possible. I also wouldn't go out of my way to plan things if they aren't planners. My children are growing up fast and I keep thinking about how few vacations we have left together. Don't feel guilty and have a wonderful vacation.

I totally agree and you just took the words right out of my mouth! There's no way on God's green earth we will share our Disney vacation with anyone else. This is OUR time. If others view it as selfish, then so be it.

 

[jcpuppy.com]

I didn't know how many people in your sis's family, but maybe a villa can be shared? they pay their share and you yours.
the poly is pricey and this is being said by a person that just bought DVC
All the resort choices surely there is one where everyone can afford and feel god about staying?
That said, as others said your next choice is keeping your resorts and then spend time in the parks

 

[PolyAddict]

I am going to call her today and suggest a trip where I just take DD6 and stay at POP with them. Hey, I can use my DDE card and save 20% in the food court.

As far as our already planned vacation, it will remain as planned and we will stay where we decided on and hope that offers them another option. She did seem a little put out on the dates we chose anyway and may want to go during another season.

 

[minnie61650]

I am going to call her today and suggest a trip where I just take DD6 and stay at POP with them. Hey, I can use my DDE card and save 20% in the food court.

As far as our already planned vacation, it will remain as planned and we will stay where we decided on and hope that offers them another option. She did seem a little put out on the dates we chose anyway and may want to go during another season.

What a great idea!

I think your DD6 would have lots of fun at Pop with her cousins.

I hope it all works out and that many special memories are made!

Have fun at Disney!

 

[NEVERENOUGHWDW]

How do these topics always end up with "what you don't think we are as good as you are because we stay at or value" or "We just stay at a value because we are never in the room".
This always ends up in a your nasty or snotty exchange.
I sometimes feel like this isn't the DIS site it is the if your don't stay at values you are flashy, snotty, stay somewhere else, Walt wouldn't be happy, WDW is for everybody, site.

My suggestion to you is simple stay where you want to stay. We have gone with family and they stay at moderates and we only stay at deluxe. To be frank having some quality family time with your immediate family is just as important as spending time with your sisters and their families. Your Disney kids are growing up so fast I think the private times, talking about the day, taking a walk around the resort or having ice cream at the Poly are some of the sweetest times.

 

[Sammie]

I am going to call her today and suggest a trip where I just take DD6 and stay at POP with them. Hey, I can use my DDE card and save 20% in the food court.

As far as our already planned vacation, it will remain as planned and we will stay where we decided on and hope that offers them another option. She did seem a little put out on the dates we chose anyway and may want to go during another season.

Good idea, any vacation should be about enjoyment, not about where anyone can stay and why. For truly the why is personal.

 

[mom2taylorandemily]

Ok, up until today, my response might have been: "It's my vacation and I'm staying where I want and doing it with my family is a no - no!" Then today, I found that my dad (who is 82) has a tumor on his liver and in his right lung. Last year when we were planning our first trip with the kids, he and my mom said they'd love to go with us but there is no way they could afford to go, unless they stayed at a value, or if we kicked in to help them. Well, we went on and stayed at our deluxe and went with out them (but it was sort of a timing thing to, not just a selfish thing). We brought it up again this year and let me tell you what, I'd gladly trade in my deluxe at the GF and book and pay for myself a trip with my parents at any resort I could afford. I may not get the chance to take him now, I blew it, be careful what you wish for. You may not be able to get the opportunity back.

 

[bab31]

I did not read all of this thread, but why not consider a moderate like CSR. It has more ammenities than the other moderates and has central air, a spa, exercise room, a decent food court,a great sit down restaurant, great busses, and a wonderful resort pool where you can sip a margarita or two by if you desire. a beautiful feel to the entire resort. Maybe they could swing the moderate. I know how difficult and outragous( my opinion) amount of money WDW wants for a deluxe.

 

[melomouse]

......Then in 2001 we went on a trip with my sis to Disney and since she was staying at the All Stars ( because they suited her budget better than the other resorts).

I decided DH and I should stay there also so we could spend more time with my sis and I did not want to hurt her feelings by staying at a nicer resort. She would feel that the nicer resort was more important to me than spending some quailty with her and I could never hurt my sister like that.

(Italics mine!)

Linda, you are sooo wise!

PolyAddict, I hope it works out for you the way it's supposed to. Sometimes our best laid plans have ways of shifting and tho you're aggravated today, the next trip's a long way off...let Pixie Dust reign!

 

[TammiMcMan]

Every argument being brought up, could certainly be countered. A medical problem with a sister and missed time together, could easily become a medical problem with her husband who really wanted family time at the Poly, but instead settled for extended family time at a resort he did not want to stay at. Disappointing a sister, as compared to disappointing her own husband. The OP already mentioned that she took a trip this year, without her husband and that she and her sisters stayed in separate resorts. There were no problems reported. If the sisters want to invite themselves into an already planned vacation, I see no reason why the OP has to change things around to accomodate them.

We don't know much about the OP, but it sounds like a fairly large age difference amongst the sisters. If they were 12 and 15 when she was born, do we really know how much sister bonding there truly was? My youngest sister was 8 when I got married and moved out of the house. I hardly had time to get to know her before I was off and starting my own family. Irregardless though, the age difference between sisters and the kids as well, can possibly add to the difficulty of trying to coordinate the groups. I'm sorry, but beyond compromising my existing and already planned vacation to include a grand gatherings event and a few scheduled meals together, I wouldn't do much more than that.

The OP clearly needs to do what's best for her own family.