Why do other people care where you stay? longwinded...

[DisneyBride'03]

Your welcome

Keep us posted....there may be some "hidden" resentment of the "younger sibling" as well....
My mom has 4 sisters, now they range from 59-71...gosh they bicker all the time...they are trying to plan a trip...no one can agree...no one wants to room with one of them...lol
Its a sister thing I tell ya!

 

[nanalisa]

I would stick to the family vacation you had planned. My husband would not be happy if my family (or his for that matter) called and said they were going on a trip with us and oh by way, stay where we want to. Wouldn't happen. Your loyalty is to your husband. If wants to stay at the Poly and you do too, then that's where you should stay. Chances are you wouldn't have spent all your time with your sisters anyway. I would tell them you had already made your plans but wouldn't it be fun to meet up everyday for a meal and a few turns on the Rockn roller coaster. How can such a small word like "family" cause so much guilt?

 

[PolyAddict]

I would stick to the family vacation you had planned. My husband would not be happy if my family (or his for that matter) called and said they were going on a trip with us and oh by way, stay where we want to. Wouldn't happen. Your loyalty is to your husband. If wants to stay at the Poly and you do too, then that's where you should stay. Chances are you wouldn't have spent all your time with your sisters anyway. I would tell them you had already made your plans but wouldn't it be fun to meet up everyday for a meal and a few turns on the Rockn roller coaster. How can such a small word like "family" cause so much guilt?

After reading this I realized something else she said today, I gave her the dates we are going and she said "well, that's later in the summer than we went this year, won't it be more crowded?" I said probably so, but DH can't take vacation from May until the 3rd week in June. This is our vacation after all. I would love to share it with them but she needs to realize that my family comes first.

 

[1 goofy family]

I am very close to my family, we try to get together for dinner at least once or twice a month, our children all play together. I can depend on them for anything, and they know that I got their backs too. We have spent family vacations together at the beach and it was so much fun. That said..there is no way I'd invite anyone to come along on our Disney family vacation. I work very hard to plan these vacations and if you're not a planner you just wouldn't understand. It's also a very special time for just the 4 of us to be together and enjoy each others company. It would change the dynamic of the vacation if we had other people along. I know it sounds selfish, but we work very hard to afford these vacations, and we want to plan every last detail how WE want.

I totally understand what you're saying here. I would feel exactly the same way. It's not about you looking down on anyone or being selfish. This is about you and your family and your time together. If I were you I'd just stay at the Poly as planned and let them do Pop and plan to meet up when possible. I also wouldn't go out of my way to plan things if they aren't planners. My children are growing up fast and I keep thinking about how few vacations we have left together. Don't feel guilty and have a wonderful vacation.

 

[ashbee]

I think vacationing with family can be nice for a day or two but after that i am ready to do my own thing with my own family. We had such a bad experience at disney last year because my husband's sister's family wanted us to do everything with them when they wanted to do it. So, this year I made sure we would not be at Disney the same time. Also, she thought she was outdoing me because we were going to stay at a moderate. Then my husband decides he wants to stay at the Animal Kingdom Lodge this will be our first visit to a deluxe. I told my sister in law and she say we are staying in a pool view room. I told her that is nice but we got a savannah view and she got really hateful. You would think that disney would be a time for family just to relax and have fun but she tries to make a compitetion out of it. Just thought I would vent a little since some started already. Don't get me wrong I love my sister in law just sometimes she drives me crazy.

 

[dementia412]

If you had invited her to share a vacation that would be different.. I would then tell you that you were wrong to abandon her at the value while you went to Poly. But this is your family vacation planned with you, dh, and children... your sister decides to tag along and then expects you to change your plans all around to fit her needs? I would just flat out say no, this is what we already planned on.
I do think you come across as thinking you are better than your sister. There was no real reason to mention the finances except to say they can't afford the deluxe resorts.

 

[Laugh O. Grams]

I certainly wouldn't feel bad about staying at a different resort regardless of price category. I think that everyone needs a little break to be with just your immediate family (wife, husband, kids) on these big family gatherings anyway. It's a nice option to be able to decompress and get some much needed down time. Big family gathering can get a little stressful at times. We do it at Disney, and we do it when visiting out of state relatives as well. They typically insist that we stay at their homes, but it's simply too convenient to get a room at the Marriott and call it a day. It's not that you don't love them dearly...you just don't want to be on top of each other 24/7. Just IMO...

 

[CaipiraBob]

I suppose it depends on what you're going for.

We're going shortly to meet up with my lil' bro and his family. They'll be staying at the Polynesian when we arrive at the YC. Then 2 days after they'll change to the YC. We plan to link up on several occasions to party and do family stuff. It's not all reliant on being at the same hotel, but we have specific plans to take advantage of when we are at the same local.

Looking forward to hanging by the pool with them and for us to take our kids to SAB. It will be their first trip there as a family. The kids love to play with one another and while they're going to be park commandos we're going to see only 2 parks in 5 days and hang out the rest of the time. The kids go so often they don't have a problem having several days by the pool and a bunch of character meals.

The only thing I'm thinking is that your sisters want to be with you. On those trips it means a lot to people. Maybe you can compensate by planning more family activities that don't rely on hotel proximity.

Have a wonderful time either way.

 

[Jen66]

I may be in the minority here, but you do not have to stay in the same resort to vacation together. If your family stays at the Poly, you can still do lots with your sister's family, and have some alone time with your family.
IMO, I think separate resorts are the way to go! Stay where you and Dh want to! ( and yes, I am very close to both of my sisters, less anyone think I am anti-family )

 

[pamole]

It is clear that your sisters want to have a WDW vaca w/you and your family, and maybe from their standpoint, "tagging along" on your family's vaca is less instrusive than asking you to take an add'l vaca with them, even tho' it seems to have had the opposite effect.... So why not suggest say that you all plan a special trip w/them -- if not this year, then next, or maybe just a long weekend. Then you can stay somewhere that you can all afford by pooling your resources (i.e. mod or villa, etc.) b/c the point of that trip would be "family time" and where you stay would be less important. I agree that you and your DH/DDs should be able to enjoy the trip that you have planned for yourselves, but I also value time spent w/extended family.... Keep in mind, the kids may all want to spend time together too, and having to say "no, we're going back to OUR resort", may start to hamper everyone's good time.

Just my $.02....

 

[NMW]

I would NOT change our resort plans. I also don't think you should feel bad that your sisters can't afford a deluxe resort. Thant's just crazy! It's not your fault, and you shouldn't feel guilty about it. Your family should come first. This is YOUR family vacation. If any of my siblings wanted to vacation at Disney the same time we were there, great. None of them would expect me to change resorts to where they wanted to stay.

 

[kaysmommie]

disfan- this will be our family trip, she asked if she could come along with her husband and 2 grandchildren. I said sure assuming we would do like we did on this past trip and each stay where we want to stay and plan our days and meals together. I really think that is enough, any more and it might get to be too much. There were several times on this last trip that her and her husband were fussing alot with each other and that is no fun to be around.

I can understand where you are coming from because it is your family time together and you want to relax at your resort on vacation. Our family has a one week vacation right now (DH's job) so we like to save up and stay deluxe so we can rest at the resort some too.

My brother and his wife and kids are going to Disney the same time as us this October and I know it will probably be a huge headache because my brother has such a nasty attitude about everything. he lives for dissagreeing with everything you say. If you say the sky is blue he will argue that it's green. I'm happy that we are staying at different resorts. They can afford to stay at a value or moderate but my DB thinks camping at Ft. Wildereness will be fun . I guess he just has a different idea of what vacation is. i think planning some park days and meals together will work out fine for you. that is what we are doing.

 

[tiggersmom97]

The conversation ended with her saying "well, we will just have to come hang with you at your hotel" :

Sounds to me that they don't want to pay to stay in a Deluxe, but more then willing to come to the Deluxe you are staying at and enjoy all its amenities.

 

[bellebud]

It sounds to me like you have different priorities than they do, and I totally understand that. When you said "they don't work and rely on what little their husbands make", I didn't take that as you feeling superior to them, I took that as they're lazy. (I could be totally wrong, we just have some of them in our families too so it felt familiar to me).

I like the idea that someone else posted of not really trying to vacation in disney together. Doing a beach thing w/ family members is probably so much easier... not as much scheduling. But that probably doesn't help you out now.

I'd say to them something like "we can only go when we said... please don't feel like you have to bend to meet our schedule. Do what works for you, and if it turns out we can't be there at the same time, we'll plan a long weekend together somewhere else so we can spend time together"... then do that planning for a beach or somewhere easier than disney, when you can actually focus on each other (that's very hard in disney - there's too much to do/see there, and too many options for everyone's taste).

Good luck! It can be very hard taking a vacation with other people, family or not.

 

[runswithscissors]

Although, again, I would stay at any resort with my parents or sisters, I do agree that you need to make your own decision regarding what's best for your immediate family. It does sound, from the things you've said about your sisters, that you have some "sisterly issues."

I am very close to my sisters and we take a family trip to the Outer Banks every year (18 of us total in one home) and, although I would go stay anywhere with my family, I would think twice if it was my husband's family. We are not close to them and I would not consider changing plans to stay with them.

Anyway, have a great time at the Poly!

 

[disgram]

Have gone with others who could afford to stay at deluxe and we stayed in the mods. We would get together each morning at breakfast and then spend the day together. Last year, we stayed in connecting rooms with "friends" who were WAY too close! It would have been better had we been in different hotels! Sometimes, even families need space!

Not to sound mean or anything, but when I first read your post, it sounded like they were trying to horn in on your trip. If that is not the situation then I apologize for the thought.

 

[PolyAddict]

Thanks for all the responses.

I am not a mean person and do alot of bending to make everyone happy.

I just get very protective of my WDW trips with my family.

Someone mentioned a separate vacation with them and I did consider telling her that maybe we could go and I would just take DD6 because she is the age of her grandchildren and that way we would just stay with them wherever they wanted.

If it's not my trip to WDW with my family then I really don't care where I stay.
DD6 would go with the flow, but the rest of my family dynamics would not. The only thing I could see her asking about is where is the pool slide? Because she has just recently gotten into this and probably thinks all the resorts have them?

 

[Wendy1953]

This past June I took a trip with my sisters for the 1st time. It was the 1st time I have ever been to WDW without my DH. I had 2 of my DD's ages 6 and 14 and DD14's friend. My sisters already had their ressies and were staying at ASSP. We have never stayed at a value and really have no desire to do so. So, we tryed AKL for the 1st time an LOVED it. My sisters came by for a visit and told me their room was bigger. Ok, whatever.

Now, we did have a good time and did not spend everyday together and it worked out pretty good. Several times during the trip they mentioned that next time they visited they wanted to try a deluxe. A little background here..my sisters do not work and are 12 and 15 years older than me and rely on what little the men in their lives make. I am the youngest and of 6 and DH and I do well for ourselves and pay cash for our yearly trips. I work hard for my money and look forward to enjoying my trips.

Flash forward to today...after last visit one of my sisters decides she wants to go back again next summer and take her other grandchildren and visit the same time as us. Now this trip I will be travelling with all of my DD's and DH, for a total of five of us. We have decided to stay at the POLY again. So sister calls me today and says that she and my other sister were talking and thought it would be nice if we all stayed together at POP. I told her no because we have no desire to stay there. We are not park commando's and love our resort time. I asked her why don't they save up the money liked they talked about and stay with us and she said NO WAY, we can't afford that!!! So I am supposed to give up my plans to stay where they are staying?

The conversation ended with her saying "well, we will just have to come hang with you at your hotel"

I just don't get it, I don't give them any grief about where they stay.
I just can't imagine telling someone hey could you downgrade your hotel to stay on our level please?

Thanks for letting me vent!!!!!

Okay, so you will be staying at the POLY and they will be staying at POP, you can meet up for some meals. It worked the last time, so it should work out this time. I think you are making too much out of this. They obviously cannot afford, or will not spend, the amount of money it costs for room at the Poly as they go commando style to the parks. You spend lots of time at the resort and can afford to stay at a deluxe. You can meet up for meals and such as you did during the June visit. My advice to you would be not to tell them the next time you are going, so that you can enjoy your deluxe hotel without feeling the least bit guilty about where someone else is staying.

 

[MomtoEmIs&Ow]

I just can't imagine telling someone hey could you downgrade your hotel to stay on our level please?

I think that this sounds a little rude. I hope you didn't mean that they are beneath you because they stay at a value!? I think that they probably just want to stay together to spend time together, and for ease. I know everyone chooses to do different things with their money... If you want to spend your $$ on Deluxe resorts all the power to you. I know that we could afford a deluxe resort, but I personally can't justify spending $300 a night on a room Maybe one day, but not now. And we like our resort time too.

Lee

 

[TammiMcMan]

I just get very protective of my WDW trips with my family.

I can totally relate to this. We have extended family in the Orlando area and we've been known to sneak in and out of the state without telling anyone that we're there. I think most of us do understand what you're trying to say, even though it may not have come across that well when you typed it. I agree with staying in the resort that fits your budget and vacation style. What I would do next, before things get too out of hand is sit down with your sisters and plan an itinerary. Pick a few times to meet for meals and maybe a big fireworks cruise or something along those lines. Other than that, I would make it clear that you are on your own time. Unfortunately, while they could come over to the Poly and eat or use the water sports area, they can't sit at the pool or use those facilities. That may be something that they are assuming can happen as Disney resort guests.

I don't envy you at all.