Why do I stay (on the Gay Boards)

[C&G'sMama]

I've been asking myself this lately. For no other reason than I'm at the mommy point in my life, not the single, coupled no kids or older kids. I am at a point where I feel I have more in common with moms and dads on the DISabilities board (my son is autistic/aspie). You all are a great group of people, but at different points in our lives. (I say this knowing there are a couple of other regular posters with kids but for the most part, no) Do you really want to hear about my son's meltdowns or my daughter's dealing with girl stuff at school, probably not and that's fine I save that for the family boards and the DISabilities board.

So why do I stay? Because there is this one commonality. Our being gay and "getting it". Because going back to my daughter. She is so naive. Her best friend at school has 2 moms but as she said, the other kids think having 2 moms is "gross". Now the funny thing is DP volunteers at school in DD's classroom 2 days a week. Most of the kids beg to go with her. They love having an adult that hangs out with just 1 or 2 of them and teachers them and explains stuff to them. DD doesn't know what the term "gay" means. She'll learn soon enough. I stay because we are no different than anyone else, though some would like us to be. I think of that thread not too long back about the gay "lifestyle".

So it's nice to be able to come here. And in 12 years or so (when DS is 18 and in college), maybe DP and I can sneak away to Disney alone and check out some of these clubs you all talk about.

 

[OrlandoMike]

I stay because we are no different than anyone else, though some would like us to be.

In a way, yes we are no different that anyone else. We get up, go to work, raise our families, and tough it out. But in a way we are different, we all know that, heck we are still discriminated against on a daily basis! But we have a special group here, and lets just put the cards on the table...most days it's fun to escape here for a few moments each day! That's all, nothing more, nothing less. It's just a fun place to hang....isn't it?

 

[C&G'sMama]

In a way, yes we are no different that anyone else. We get up, go to work, raise our families, and tough it out. But in a way we are different, we all know that, heck we are still discriminated against on a daily basis! But we have a special group here, and lets just put the cards on the table...most days it's fun to escape here for a few moments each day! That's all, nothing more, nothing less. It's just a fun place to hang....isn't it?

This is why I am an accountant and not a writer. I'm not the best at getting the meaning out. But what you said is what I was trying to capture. And I wrote it after thinking about anti-gay sentiment. That we are like everyone else. It's just some people want to label us as different. The kids that tell my daughter having 2 moms is gross are getting it from somewhere (home, other kids etc.).

I'm going to go try to beat this insomnia now (probably just anticipating the trip)

 

[NHdisneylover]

In a way, yes we are no different that anyone else. We get up, go to work, raise our families, and tough it out. But in a way we are different, we all know that, heck we are still discriminated against on a daily basis! But we have a special group here, and lets just put the cards on the table...most days it's fun to escape here for a few moments each day! That's all, nothing more, nothing less. It's just a fun place to hang....isn't it?

As usual Mike gets straight to the point

OP, i get what you are saying and I do agree with you and Mike. That said, in addition to being a fun break most of the time this board does give many a chance to discuss the sometimes serious and difficult issues that come up in our lives and the lives of our friends in a very safe and supportive envoirnment and I love that also about this board.

 

[Desiree1972]

I have 2 kids as well - and my son has AS too - he is 13 and y daughter will be 3 next week - you?

you stay b/c as much as we want to believe that our orientation does not define us per say - it definitely unites us!

 

[SanFranciscan]

C & G's Mama, you come to this section of the site because threads here grab your attention. I move around when I come to this site and search the threads of different discussions.

Unity among gays? Well, that's debatable. Many gays come to San Francisco and head straight to the neighborhoods surrounding Castro Street with the attitude of "Hey, where's the party?!" Gays who own property or who are raising children etc. in the area want the noise to stop. They want certain tacky people to stop peeing in their flowers. They want the "queer youth" who come here from around the nation, if not the world, to stop panhandling them.

It makes since for you to come here when you see something entertaining. I am not a college student, but I read the posts by those in the college program. I am not getting married, but I sometimes read the posts in the wedding section. There is so much here that it is impossible to read it all. It makes sense that you head down the lists and stop at what grabs your attention.

 

[rpmdfw]

I thought is was because you liked us!

 

[C&G'sMama]

I thought is was because you liked us!

Of course I like you all that is definitely part of it.

 

[C&G'sMama]

I have 2 kids as well - and my son has AS too - he is 13 and y daughter will be 3 next week - you?

you stay b/c as much as we want to believe that our orientation does not define us per say - it definitely unites us!

Yes, it does unite us. My daughter will be 9 in May and my son will be 6 next Wednesday, we'll be in Magic Kingdom that day with a birthday fast pass. The AS is a relatively new diagnosis so I'm a little obsessed with it. He was officially diagnosed last July. DP and I spend a lot of time on the DISabilities board with a group of families of kids with spectrum issues. Some people think we're whining. It's not that at all, it's a common bond that unites us and when someone has an issue it's a place to go where other people "get it" and express what works for them.

My writing this last night was this tax accountant (read, not creative and used to writing technical stuff) attempting to wax philosophical. As a lesbian I never noticed any descrimination until my daughter was born. I'm also fat and have faced discrimination for that. One area where hurtful humor is still acceptable in our society (but I'm too busy living life). So maybe I never noticed.

So I worry for my own kids, I worry for young people coming out. When our daughter was 2 weeks old she had to have surgery (she's fine now). We were brand new parents, exhausted and worried sick. There was a nurse with a WWJD bracelet on. When I asked if I could watch her change DD's diaper (for the 1st time after her colostomy) she threw the diaper at me and told me I had to learn sometime. We knew why she was acting like this. Quite frankly I don't think He would throw a diaper at a new mom. When DD had her 3rd and final surgery at 9mos, the same nurse did something similar, but this time I'd been a mom for almost a year, and she was not allowed near my daughter again. Our neighbors acoss the street have 2 girls my daughter's age. The children play together all the time. One night we come home and they are having a BBQ in the back yard with some of the families in the neighborhood. All of the other neighbor kids were there. We hadn't been invited. I knew why. Neither was DD's Godfather who is also our neighbor and DP's best friend (family). I made him feel really guilty for that one. DP drives his children to school every day (they go to a different school than our kids) and the girls love having that friend time. He has to be to work early and he doesn't have a car for his mom during the day (his wife died a couple of years ago. I think he's finally realized we're good people. He may not agree with us and that's fine, but I think he realized how his actions affected my kids.

I know a lot of people have similar stories or really awful stories. So yeah, this is why I come back. Like the Aspperger's, I'm not looking for sympathy just understanding and sometimes advice from those that "get it".

And the laughs, I love the laughs.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I thought is was because you liked us!

That's one of the BESTEST things about this board--we all like each other (and ridicule each otherin a loving kinds of way)

 

[NHdisneylover]

Yes, it does unite us. My daughter will be 9 in May and my son will be 6 next Wednesday, we'll be in Magic Kingdom that day with a birthday fast pass. The AS is a relatively new diagnosis so I'm a little obsessed with it. He was officially diagnosed last July. DP and I spend a lot of time on the DISabilities board with a group of families of kids with spectrum issues. Some people think we're whining. It's not that at all, it's a common bond that unites us and when someone has an issue it's a place to go where other people "get it" and express what works for them.

My writing this last night was this tax accountant (read, not creative and used to writing technical stuff) attempting to wax philosophical. As a lesbian I never noticed any descrimination until my daughter was born. I'm also fat and have faced discrimination for that. One area where hurtful humor is still acceptable in our society (but I'm too busy living life). So maybe I never noticed.

So I worry for my own kids, I worry for young people coming out. When our daughter was 2 weeks old she had to have surgery (she's fine now). We were brand new parents, exhausted and worried sick. There was a nurse with a WWJD bracelet on. When I asked if I could watch her change DD's diaper (for the 1st time after her colotomy) she threw the diaper at me and told me I had to learn sometime. We knew why she was acting like this. Quite frankly I don't think He would throw a diaper at a new mom. When DD had her 3rd and final surgery at 9mos, the same nurse did something similar, but this time I'd been a mom for almost a year, and she was not allowed near my daughter again. Our neighbors acoss the street have 2 girls my daughter's age. The children play together all the time. One night we come home and they are having a BBQ in the back yard with some of the families in the neighborhood. All of the other neighbor kids were there. We hadn't been invited. I knew why. Neither was DD's Godfather who is also our neighbor and DP's best friend (family). I made him feel really guilty for that one. DP drives his children to school every day (they go to a different school than our kids) and the girls love having that friend time. He has to be to work early and he doesn't have a car for his mom during the day (his wife died a couple of years ago. I think he's finally realized we're good people. He may not agree with us and that's fine, but I think he realized how his actions affected my kids.

I know a lot of people have similar stories or really awful stories. So yeah, this is why I come back. Like the Aspperger's, I'm not looking for sympathy just understanding and sometimes advice from those that "get it".

And the laughs, I love the laughs.

How about a hug from someone who really doesn't get it but sees it too much and cares anyway? You deserve it--sorry you have run into so many mean people.

 

[C&G'sMama]

How about a hug from someone who really doesn't get it but sees it too much and cares anyway? You deserve it--sorry you have run into so many mean people.

Hugs right back at you. You definitely get it or you wouldn't be here. And the positives totally outweigh the negatives. Like I said I just worry about my kids and other kids.

 

[SanFranciscan]

I thought is was because you liked us!

I probably would like you if I knew you because Disney fans often seem to be of like mind on a number of things such as where they hang out and what they read, etc. I am sure that there are a lot of people on here who do know each other. I am shocked at how many people have thousands of posts here. I have always been more of an in-person kind of person.

What is important is where the original poster feels comfortable. I am glad to know that Gay and Lesbian Disney provides for her a comfort zone in an often unnecessarily hostile world.

 

[TuckandStuiesMom]

That's one of the BESTEST things about this board--we all like each other (and ridicule each otherin a loving kinds of way)

DANG NOT CROOKED SKIPPY!!!! -- translates to "a-word-I'm-not-supposed-to-type-here" Straight, Dear Friends!

 

[mykidsintow]

So the question should be... Why do *I* hang out here?

I am straight, divorced(ing). 2 kids.... blah blah. Most of you know the story. I just stay cause I *love* it. I don't fit in with the normal moms.... well my kids aren't normal. I never found my place in the special needs world... tho my kids obviously have those too. I am not much into chillin with the adoptive parents. Well mostly because I end up with my foot in my mouth .

So, its nice to be in a place where everyone is welcome and I don't suddenly feel like I need to change my peg shape to get it in the hole! (Good lord, Wally is gonna be all over that one and it was totally meant innocently, for the record).

Anyway, I am glad you stay! I am glad I get to stay too!

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

Well, Julia's Mom, it is kinda funny!

It's hopefully the atmosphere here, the one that has been created by each individual's contributions to the whole, eh?

Hope all is going well with you.

 

[OrlandoMike]

We must be a pretty cool group, even the tag fairy hangs here!

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

Well where the heck else IS a fairy gonna' hang out? Sheesh!