Why do I cry over stupid things?

[powellrj]

We have had a really crappy 5 years. I am not going into it, but lets just say I could give a guided tour to most hospitals in central Indiana including all the ICUs, and I know how to plan funerals and close-up households and give me a medical condition and I can pretty much tell you which family member has dealt with it.

I have been strong and not shed a tear. I am going to the funeral of my best friends from HSs husband who died monday from an unexpected heartattack at 56 today. Once again, not a tear.

I just read that Giuliana and Bill Rancic had their baby and I just cried like a baby. I don't know these people, will never meet them, my own DS and his wife will never have a baby of their own and I never cried, but I am now late for work because I am still crying.

What the heck is wrong with me?

 

[kerriemiller]

it sounds like crying over something that has no real attachment to you is a release of the emotions you couldnt express, for what ever reason, in the sitations that effected you deeply

Some people just hold there emoitions. I do the same thing. My mother had a very quick and sudden battle with cancer. She was gone in under 3 months. Everyone else was crushed. It took me several years to have those emotions.

 

[lynxstch]

You held everything in and back for too long over the last 5 years, and reading that they had a baby just hit you in the right spot and your emotions started to overflow. Don't be surprised if it happens more often, now that you've started to let them come out again

Hope the next 5 years goes better for you!

 

[lovemygoofy]

We have had a really crappy 5 years. I am not going into it, but lets just say I could give a guided tour to most hospitals in central Indiana including all the ICUs, and I know how to plan funerals and close-up households and give me a medical condition and I can pretty much tell you which family member has dealt with it.

I have been strong and not shed a tear. I am going to the funeral of my best friends from HSs husband who died monday from an unexpected heartattack at 56 today. Once again, not a tear.

I just read that Giuliana and Bill Rancic had their baby and I just cried like a baby. I don't know these people, will never meet them, my own DS and his wife will never have a baby of their own and I never cried, but I am now late for work because I am still crying.

What the heck is wrong with me?

You need to let the dam break so to speak. You have dealt with so much in the past several years even more than the last 5. At some point you just have to let it go.

Have you ever heard of compassion fatigue? Find an outlet and just let your emotions go whether it is through crying or beating the heck out of a punching bag. At some point emotions are going to come out whether we want them to or not.

I'm coming to your part of Indy soon. I don't want you to beat on me but I'm good hugger if you need someone to talk to. Sure beats me having to listen to my MIL.....

 

[Stitchfans]

I am the opposite of you. Crying is my stress reliever. I, like you have had quite a bit of trials to overcome. I should have created a new ocean by now.

Here's to better times for both of us.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

We have had a really crappy 5 years. I am not going into it, but lets just say I could give a guided tour to most hospitals in central Indiana including all the ICUs, and I know how to plan funerals and close-up households and give me a medical condition and I can pretty much tell you which family member has dealt with it.

I have been strong and not shed a tear. I am going to the funeral of my best friends from HSs husband who died monday from an unexpected heartattack at 56 today. Once again, not a tear.

I just read that Giuliana and Bill Rancic had their baby and I just cried like a baby. I don't know these people, will never meet them, my own DS and his wife will never have a baby of their own and I never cried, but I am now late for work because I am still crying.

What the heck is wrong with me?

Simple answer is anxiety and depression. To what degree remains to be seen.

The question is do you want to do something about it? How often is this interfering with your job or life? Those are things you have to ask yourself.

For example, my last few yrs have been heck as well and my anxiety has come out in medical situations.

Normally I am fine at the dentist, doctor, etc. getting my teeth done or procedures. Now however my anxiety "lets loose" then. I almost pass out.

So, that tells me that I am not "doing enough" to solve some of the things that I need to.

I am currently on 10mg of Celexa, which has been a super help and I use anxiety techniques (breathing, visualization, being hydrated, etc) when I get a medical procedure.

In addition I am actively improving my "home" situation with myself. I am focusing on my needs and NOT putting it aside, which is easy to do.

Plus confronting issues head on even though I know it is going to make someone uncomfortable and cause friction. I use tact of course but if I am met with fire and brimestone, I stay the course. Things have to be talked about.

So far, so good.

If I were you I would most certainly consider an appt with your PCP and discuss your issues. That is where I started. Good Luck!

 

[Pea-n-Me]

It's a coping mechanism. Many people maintain "stoicism" to get through difficult situations that are very meaningful to them. Emotions can come out safely when things are less meaningful. It's good to have a good cry over something silly like that. (Not that inability to have a baby is silly, just crying about people you don't know.)

 

[emer95]

It's a coping mechanism. Many people maintain "stoicism" to get through difficult situations that are very meaningful to them. Emotions can come out safely when things are less meaningful. It's good to have a good cry over something silly like that. (Not that inability to have a baby is silly, just crying about people you don't know.)

Totally agree! I am a huge cryer (crier?). I cry at weddings, commercials, when people tell me good news/bad news/regular news, and every single time I watch Dateline. But I didn't cry at my own wedding, my children's births, or during serious, scary times in my life. I always wondered what was wrong with me until I decided it was too painful, too close to the heart, to even allow the comfort of tears.

I hope things get easier for you. It sounds like you've had more than your fair share of hard times, and you're due for a break.

 

[Andtototoo]

By nature, I am not a cryer. It's not a normal part of stress relief for me nor is it a way I show extreme joy, it's just not.

But when I do find myself crying over "stupid" things, I've found that it's because I'm repressing how I feel about negative/difficult issues in my life and not finding another way to deal with them. This crying is more likely to happen to me in the winter when I can't garden, for example, because I use gardening as stress relief. (I've "pulled" many a work problem by pulling out a particularly recalcitrant weed or "buried" many a problem by digging in the dirt with a really good spade.)

What I've learned is that for most humans, if we don't consciously find a way to deal with our stress, our body will find one for us.

So in your case, your body may have "decided" that crying over "stupid" things is a potentially effective stress reliever.

 

[laurajetter]

I agree with what others have said so far. On the surface it may seem ridiculous but I bet it's not as atypical as you might think. I can't begin to compare the events in my life with what it sounds like you've gone through, but to a certain extent I've noticed the same thing. I don't cry when negative things happen to my family, I haven't cried on my son's first day getting on the bus for kindergarten, or first grade or second grade (this year). Yes, my husband sometimes thinks I'm a heartless creature since he's standing there bawling his eyes out, trying to not let anyone else see. The thought of him being alone to "fend for himself" during school gets him all teary eyed too. I, on the other hand, just don't show my emotion much. I bet it's because if I let myself really think about it too long then the torrents probably would flow and be hard to stop. A touching commercial, however, or every single episode of Little House on the Prairie will completely bring on the waterworks, go figure. You're not alone!

I'd say when something triggers you to cry, just let it. Cry, cry, cry... Sure it started because of something touching in someone else's life but I bet there's a lot of other emotions wrapped up in there that are being let out too. It's amazing how I actually feel better after I let myself cry. Of course it doesn't change the struggles you're dealing with, but to release those emotions once in a while can really help clear your head.

 

[shortbun]

I do think, though, that you need to allow yourself, give yourself permission, to emote. I go to a sappy movie or watch one here by myself once in a while when I need a good cry. My son has caught me a couple times, crying over fictional characters. He thinks I'm really strong(I am) and then he sees me crazy over a lifetime movie. Really-allow yourself to feel the reality of your life sometimes.

 

[powellrj]

Thanks for the great suggestions. I feel better knowing I am not alone! I think I will watch a few sad movies this weekend and let the tears flow, so I can just get it all out! What is so funny, is when I was a kid, I was a huge crier. There were TV shows my mom wouldn't let me watch because I always ended up in tears, but now as an adult, the tears very rarely come. Gotta love netflix and cable because the volume of movies available is endless!

Tina, I may take you up on those hugs! What I did learn a few years ago is how important female friends are in your life. I didn't have many and I really needed some, so I went out and made women friends and they have been a godsend.

Thanks again for letting me vent and giving me some really good advice!

 

[sookie]

We have had a really crappy 5 years. I am not going into it, but lets just say I could give a guided tour to most hospitals in central Indiana including all the ICUs, and I know how to plan funerals and close-up households and give me a medical condition and I can pretty much tell you which family member has dealt with it.

I have been strong and not shed a tear. I am going to the funeral of my best friends from HSs husband who died monday from an unexpected heartattack at 56 today. Once again, not a tear.

I just read that Giuliana and Bill Rancic had their baby and I just cried like a baby. I don't know these people, will never meet them, my own DS and his wife will never have a baby of their own and I never cried, but I am now late for work because I am still crying.

What the heck is wrong with me?

You need to shed a tear over your family stuff. You need to deal with it (emotionally) - you have been having to deal with it in all the other ways it sounds like... but you haven't had to deal with your personal feelings around it. Sounds like you have just had enough and it just struck a cord.
Hugs to you.

 

[meggiebeth]

I find crying to be really important in helping me cope. I have had a tough few years too and crying just helps to relieve me and let my feelings get out.
Don't bottle things up, because then in the end you will crack and cry at 'silly' things! It is so important to cry, though, and let everything out, because if you hold everything in it can just be a huge weight on your shoulders!
Me and my mum always cry- at movies, when someone is mean to us, and for tiny things we look back at and wonder why we every cried in the first place. Crying often opens up what you feel sad and painfully sensitive about. For my mum, it was spending money. My father is a Scotsman who are well known for being cheapskates. Every time she bought a Starbucks or costa coffee, she felt incredibly guilty when he gave her that 'look'. One day she went into Harrods and bought some sandals she'd been wanting for ages. She felt so guilty she just sobbed. But now, my dad knows she is upset at it and has a right to spend the money she earns (although it just goes into one big pot nowadays with his). So he has changed, he takes her on nice days out and buys little tokens every so often to show her how much she means to him. I mentioned punting in Cambridge and... Me and my dad made a ticket and put it in a card. When she opened it, well... She burst into tears!
I guess what I am saying is that it's good to cry and become aware of what's wrong. I'm only fifteen, but have had lots of difficulties and have learnt all about crying and how important it is to just allow yourself to cry now and again.
I hope you feel better soon. It's very important to talk to friends about it like you said OP, that has guided me through hard times for sure!
Lots of luck sent over to you!

 

[Buckalew11]

It's a coping mechanism. Many people maintain "stoicism" to get through difficult situations that are very meaningful to them. Emotions can come out safely when things are less meaningful. It's good to have a good cry over something silly like that. (Not that inability to have a baby is silly, just crying about people you don't know.)

I'm like that--crying at things that don't matter but putting on my brave face and holding it together when I should be crying.

I cry easily at Disney (esp. something that hits me in a sentimental way) but times when I should be crying, I can't even cry. It is such a weird feeling.

 

[CathrynRose]

I agree with all the previous posts. Stress will kick you right in your sweet ***.

I won't say I sit here every single day, stressed out, but I can say ever since my mother passed away I'm a way bigger crier. And just generally feel more stressed out. Always. And there are days, I can let the waterworks pour.

Here's my most recent (last couple years) crying handy-dandy tip: Wet washcloths. Forget the tissues... a moist cool rag, makes for a hellvua sobbing cloth.

Lots of hugs to you.