Why are men so gosh darn stubborn? Vent.. Update post #47..

[C.Ann]

Dson-in-law will be having his carpal tunnel surgery the day after tomorrow (Wednesday) at 11:30 in the morning.. The doctor told him he will have to miss 2 days of work and actually would have put him out of work for an entire week, but won't insist on that since he'll have Saturday and Sunday off for recovery time as well..

Tonight Dson-in-law announced that he has every intention of going to work as usual Thursday morning.. He has this "thing" about work - never, ever misses a day - unless there's something really crucial going on that he has to deal with regarding my DD or my DGD.. Granted - he doesn't get any sick leave or personal leave - but if money is the issue, he can use 2 of his paid vacation days while he's home recovering..

Nope.. Since he only gets one week of paid vacation per year, he's not going to "waste" two of those days just because he's having surgery..

Why is it that men are like this? My own DH was the same way - never missed one day of work in 38 years..

We tried pointing out that if the doctor wants him to stay home from work, there's probably a good reason for it - but we might as well be talking to a brick wall..

It's so frustrating!! As far as DD and I are concerned, there's not much point in having surgery if he's not going to follow the doctors orders..

Maybe we'll duct tape him to the sofa or something..

Anyone else out there have a DH like this?

 

[Kathi OD]

Dson-in-law will be having his carpal tunnel surgery the day after tomorrow (Wednesday) at 11:30 in the morning.. The doctor told him he will have to miss 2 days of work and actually would have put him out of work for an entire week, but won't insist on that since he'll have Saturday and Sunday off for recovery time as well..

Tonight Dson-in-law announced that he has every intention of going to work as usual Thursday morning.. He has this "thing" about work - never, ever misses a day - unless there's something really crucial going on that he has to deal with regarding my DD or my DGD.. Granted - he doesn't get any sick leave or personal leave - but if money is the issue, he can use 2 of his paid vacation days while he's home recovering..

Nope.. Since he only gets one week of paid vacation per year, he's not going to "waste" two of those days just because he's having surgery..

Why is it that men are like this? My own DH was the same way - never missed one day of work in 38 years..

We tried pointing out that if the doctor wants him to stay home from work, there's probably a good reason for it - but we might as well be talking to a brick wall..

It's so frustrating!! As far as DD and I are concerned, there's not much point in having surgery if he's not going to follow the doctors orders..

Maybe we'll duct tape him to the sofa or something..

Anyone else out there have a DH like this?

FWIW...It's not just men who are like this.

Does his employer know he's having surgery? Where I work, you are not allowed back to work after surgery without a doctor's note. If the note says you're out for 2 additional days (or however long), you're out. They won't let you work as they're afraid of an accident that will cause an insurance claim or lawsuit.

 

[Saphire]

He has this "thing" about work - never, ever misses a day - unless there's something really crucial going on that he has to deal with

Sorry, but I think that is a good character trait and really wouldn't want a husband that thought otherwise.
And yeah, I am like that, too.

 

[trip]

Was his carpal tunnel surgery work related? Wouldn't he be under workmans comp?

 

[Sparx]

FWIW...It's not just men who are like this.

Does his employer know he's having surgery? Where I work, you are not allowed back to work after surgery without a doctor's note. If the note says you're out for 2 additional days (or however long), you're out. They won't let you work as they're afraid of an accident that will cause an insurance claim or lawsuit.

This was my first thought as well.
Doesn't his employer require a note?

 

[jwhtewolfd]

I think you're lucky he is willing to even have the surgury. You know how guys are when they're sick. They're so tough.

He might just change his tune after he actually has the surgury. You know how guys are when they're sick. They're such babies.

 

[Sparx]

Also, I've had wrist surgery. It was the most painful thing I've ever been through. I think it took almost three weeks before I got the full range of motion back in my fingers and i was in a wrist brace for two weeks. If he hasn't had wrist surgery before, he may just not know what he's in for.

Granted, my surgery wasn't to repair carpal tunnel, but it was in the same general area.

 

[jlima]

Dson-in-law will be having his carpal tunnel surgery the day after tomorrow (Wednesday) at 11:30 in the morning.. The doctor told him he will have to miss 2 days of work and actually would have put him out of work for an entire week, but won't insist on that since he'll have Saturday and Sunday off for recovery time as well..

What does he do for a living? Does he really think he's going to be able to type on a keyboard or pick up a telephone receiver? For that matter, does he really think he's going to even be able to grip a steering wheel?

I think he'll change his story once the surgery is done.

 

[golfgal]

He is an adult, if he wants to be stupid, let him. I am sure he has no clue what he is in for and won't feel up to going to work the day after the surgery. As for taking vacation for something like this, that is just sad. Don't they have sick time or short term disability coverage?

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

I can top that.

My DH had CT surgery on his lunch hour about a year and a half ago. He went to lunch came back with a huge bandaged wrist. Some people didn't even know he was going. (I drove him, he wasn't driving.) He has a desk job and felt fine so I didn't argue with him. He did not need any kind of note to go back.

8 Years ago he had a vacetomy in the morning and by lunch he was back to work. I tried to argue that time but he won. I drove him to work and picked him up at the end of the day.

He is having surgery a week from today. He is having vein surgery to open the veins in his leg because the bolld is not flowing right and there has been pooling of the blood. His surgery is scheduled in the afternoon. He is woring that morning and taking the afternoon off. As of now he plans to go back on Wednesday, (the doctor knows this) and I will be driving him.

My DH is the only IT person for a company of about 3000 . He is on call 24/7 including when we are on vacation, holidays, you name it. If he doens't work, the work will pile up. That isn't his opinion, it's a fact. He says coming back to that is worse then just coming back and not feeling 100%. I don't argue. I can't imagine the stress so I just make him as comfortable as I can, drive him, and if I feel it's necessary I will stay with him or come back and check on him.

Perhaps your DSiL feels a similar stress.

 

[PixieTopaz]

Why is it that men are like this? My own DH was the same way ]

I dont think men are like that. My DH had surgery and did what the Doctor required. MY BIL is recently injured and is doing what the Doctor ordered.

Its pointless to have the surgery your son-in-law is having if he wont follow the Doctors orders-probably will make his arms/wrists even worse.Not smart at all.

 

[KPeveler]

He is literally not going to be able to move his hands for a couple days (thats what happens with nerve surgery)

If he pushes to early, then he is going to do permanent damage. If a person does nerve damage, it almost never heals completely. (says the person with nerve damage)

He will be out of work a lot longer if he damages a nerve and can't use half his hand!

 

[FireDancer]

I see people all the time try to run through an injury and make it worse. If taking a few days off means not having lingering problems for months it is the smart thing to do.

 

[ZachnElli]

Wow, carpal tunnel surgery has come a long way since my mom had it. She was out 6 weeks, that was 11 years ago. She was (retired now) IT and there was no way she was could type for a good 4 weeks.

 

[lovesmurfs]

Dson-in-law will be having his carpal tunnel surgery the day after tomorrow (Wednesday) at 11:30 in the morning.. The doctor told him he will have to miss 2 days of work and actually would have put him out of work for an entire week, but won't insist on that since he'll have Saturday and Sunday off for recovery time as well..

Tonight Dson-in-law announced that he has every intention of going to work as usual Thursday morning.. He has this "thing" about work - never, ever misses a day - unless there's something really crucial going on that he has to deal with regarding my DD or my DGD.. Granted - he doesn't get any sick leave or personal leave - but if money is the issue, he can use 2 of his paid vacation days while he's home recovering..

Nope.. Since he only gets one week of paid vacation per year, he's not going to "waste" two of those days just because he's having surgery..

Why is it that men are like this? My own DH was the same way - never missed one day of work in 38 years..

We tried pointing out that if the doctor wants him to stay home from work, there's probably a good reason for it - but we might as well be talking to a brick wall..

It's so frustrating!! As far as DD and I are concerned, there's not much point in having surgery if he's not going to follow the doctors orders..

Maybe we'll duct tape him to the sofa or something..

Anyone else out there have a DH like this?

My father was like that -- his company awarded "perfect attendance" and so never, ever took a sick or personal day in 45 years, not even to help with us or to help mom when she was sick (she would get violently ill with migraines).

I tend to be like that as well (something in my head thinks that someone won't believe I'm sick). Unless I have a fever or something obviously contagious, I'm usually there. That said, I've always followed Dr's orders following surgery, though, because, like a PP said, I needed to provide a work release note from the Dr.

Your SIL is being idiotic, but he is an adult, who is able to screw up his nerves if he wants to. That said, my dad just had carpel tunnel surgery last Friday, and he was doing fine the next day. Best wishes.

 

[DizBelle]

Sorry, but I think that is a good character trait and really wouldn't want a husband that thought otherwise.
And yeah, I am like that, too.

Shortsighted, don't you think? If you don't allow the body to heal, you will be worse off in the long run and maybe not able to work AT ALL. How is that good for your family?

 

[Bren's Mom]

I had carpal tunnel surgery on both wrists. Trust me, he's not likely to want to still go to work after the surgery is over and the anesthesia wears off. He'll likely be asking for his Vicodan before it's time for the next dose.

 

[wdwfan16]

DTonight Dson-in-law announced that he has every intention of going to work as usual Thursday morning.. He has this "thing" about work - never, ever misses a day - unless there's something really crucial going on that he has to deal with regarding my DD or my DGD.

People who I know who do this are in financial trouble where the missing pay would cause them problems. They live paycheck to paycheck and need the money now.

My DH has had three times when he was out of work for medical reasons without pay and he NEVER returned until the Dr. said it was OK. I even took off work without pay to tend to him. We do the same when I am the one with medical problems.

 

[Nancyg56]

He can do what he wants to do but I don't get it. My DH had CP surgery last month and has not returned to work. He is a truck driver and binds down heavy equipment and then transports it. While he "feels" fine he would never take a chance that his reflexes are not where they should be, there is no amount of money worth an accident like that. He will return when his Dr tells him that he can return. His employer supports that.

I don't know what kind of job your DSIL has. Maybe he can perform his duties without full range of motion.

 

[Crystal0608]

I'm like that. I had surgery Feb 6th and was in the hospital 3 days, got out on a Monday and was put out 2 weeks. I stayed out and worked from home the first week on the netbook and my cell phone only because their was a tube in my stomach and I was too weak to get off the couch (appendix had been ruptured 2 days, football sized abcess, it hurt!). Week 2 I was back at my desk. No disability pay here, I wanted my $$, lol.