Why are kids so mean!

[RadioNate]

My heart is breaking for my son.

First a fellow kindergartener hit him in the face with a jacket...it hurt him, hit his eye and he started to cry.

Then 2 other boys jumped in calling him a baby for crying.

These are 5-6 year olds!!!

It is all the school bus..we've had more problems on the bus this year than I ever thought possible and it isn't older kids. It is other kindergarteners and 1st graders! He did so well last year in pre-school.

I just don't know how to help him.

 

[kdibattista]

 

[tiggersmom2]

Big hugs Mom.

I know exactly what you mean. I have the most adorable, sweet natured four year old and this past weekend another little boy was just horrible to him at a birthday party. He asked the little boy if he could play with him and the little boy just hauled off and shoved him to the ground while yelling "NO, I hate you stupid!". The worst thing was the other mother was right there and never corrected her son and just rolled her eyes when my little boy started crying.


I wanted to drop kick that little snot.......

 

[Alex2kMommy]

I know what you mean. DS6 is exhibiting atrocious behavior all of a sudden. Last week DS2 slipped and hit his head on the floor, and began to howl. DS6 stood over him and laughed like a hyena, I could not believe it!

I jumped all over him for not helping his brother when he's hurt, and also for laughing at him when he was upset. I asked why on earth he thought that was acceptable behavior, and he said, "Well, that's what S* (a classmate) does when someone falls at school." I asked if he thought he would like to be laughed at when he was hurt and crying, and he decided it was not OK.

DS really seems to admire some of the more obnoxious boys in his class, so I can see I'll have to keep an eye on this. I mentioned this (my son's admiration for rougher play and rude behavior) to his teacher, and she said he's usually not one of the boys involved in incidents like that, and they do try to keep a lid on that kind of thing, so here's hoping...

 

[DisneyBlonde]

This happened to my DS, but not till he was in 5th grade. Two of his classmates (who had actually been friends of his since they were in pre-school together) hit him in the bathroom and left black and blue marks all over him. DS told me one of them pushed him, and he almost cracked his mouth on the porcelan sink. I marched right into the principal's office, and she said the boys were just playing. Even after she saw the bruises, she said boys can get "rough". She was being spineless, bcuz one of the boy's father was a major volunteer in the school's sports program. I think she was afraid if she reprimanded his son, he wouldn't continue coaching. I told her my son would not step foot in that school again, and he didn't. I enrolled him in another school, which he began the following monday. this was a catholic school this happened in. That principal only lasted another year after that, they eventually canned her.

I'm not sure this is the right way to handle this type of situation, in fact in hind sight I'm pretty sure it's the wrong way to deal with it, but it worked for us and we've never had another incident like it. But kids can be rotten and it happens all the time, at all ages. Hugs for you both!!

 

[dmslush]

Crap like that is one reason that I have done everything possible to keep dd off of the school buses! There is just too much trouble on them, and the driver cannot see everything at once. We do not have aids on the buses here, so it is just the driver and a bus load of kids. DD has only had to ride a handful of times, and that was more than enough for me!!

 

[kidzmom3]

I am sorry that your some was hurt emotionally. It is so hard when they are little more than babies.


Did you know one of the major developmental tasks of a five-year-old is to develop control over impulses. From your description it appears that social situations with peers (particularly groups of peers) tend to stimulate your the boys in his class and their impulse control weakens in those circumstances. As they mature they will likely calm down when with peers. It would benefit your son to have a teacher who is experienced and who tends to be quite structured and quite firm relative to limit-setting.

then again some kids are really not nice, but its hard to determine this at such an early age.

 

[alliecats]

Big hugs Mom.

I know exactly what you mean. I have the most adorable, sweet natured four year old and this past weekend another little boy was just horrible to him at a birthday party. He asked the little boy if he could play with him and the little boy just hauled off and shoved him to the ground while yelling "NO, I hate you stupid!". The worst thing was the other mother was right there and never corrected her son and just rolled her eyes when my little boy started crying.


I wanted to drop kick that little snot.......

I would have wanted to drop kick him too, AFTER I female-dog-slapped his worthless mama.

 

[FlowersChild]

I wanted to drop kick that little snot.......

Did you also want to drop kick the mommy

 

[Sparx]

aww! to you and your son.

 

[mum4jenn]

Sounds just like when my dd was in kindergarten. I think that most of the kids had older brothers and sisters and they were getting all that stuff form them. My own dd would come home crying many days because of the mean things the kids would say. They called her fat and talked about her hairy legs and many of the kids would not play with her.

The next year in 1st grade it was the complete opposite and the kids were so kind!!!

She is now in 3rd grade and since most of the kids in her class are in the gifted program they have been in the same groups for the past two years so they pretty much know their personalities. They will pretty much remain grouped together until 6th grade unless anyones grades change!!

I don't know what advice to give you except hang in there...it will get better. Maybe you could read a book to the class about getting along and treating everyone the same. Mayve something like THe Ugly Duckling.

 

[RadioNate]

thanks everyone. I just hate that it starts so young. He doesn't have problems with the older kids on the bus. He actually gets along with them better than his fellow kindergarteners.

He doesn't have many problems in class...actually I haven't heard of any! It is these two little brats on the bus! I work and it'll add 45min to my trip to get him to school (his school is 20min in the opposite direction I need to go) but I'm debating taking him off the bus.

My son can be a handful but I think it is dead on that this kid just has no impulse control. My son is very silly but doesn't tend to lash out in frustration, which is what I think happened. The kid just got annoyed and wacked him with the jacket. Then the teasing started. I think he is more upset about that.

We just raised him too nice, lol. We didn't rough house, no one hit...he's always been the oldest. He's my little helper and spent a lot of time with adults.

Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

 

[alliecats]

Hugs to your little guy. Those kids on the bus sound like brats.

 

[FlowersChild]

My heart is breaking for my son.

First a fellow kindergartener hit him in the face with a jacket...it hurt him, hit his eye and he started to cry.

Then 2 other boys jumped in calling him a baby for crying.

These are 5-6 year olds!!!

It is all the school bus..we've had more problems on the bus this year than I ever thought possible and it isn't older kids. It is other kindergarteners and 1st graders! He did so well last year in pre-school.

I just don't know how to help him.

Have you contacted the school about all this ? The school really needs to do something about this !! Your child has rights. Why do children have to worry about other children being mean to them when they are at school More schools need to start telling children that they will not put up with them being mean to other children !! Also I am not just talking about schools with little children, I am also talking about high school !! Anyways good luck with this and keep us posted

 

[FlowersChild]

I would have wanted to drop kick him too, AFTER I female-dog-slapped his worthless mama.

 

[PrincessMom2002]

This stuff really gets me. I am so glad my kids do not have to ride buses! My oldest is 7 and he is experiencing nastiness at school by a girl. But we tell him to just ignore her. According to their teacher, this girl is downright nasty to everyone except her little follower. I'd be interested to see what her parents are like. You know, usually the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree. Also DD4 has a 4 year old boy in her preschool who makes fun of her alot. We tell her to ignore him as well. I know the ignoring doesn't always work, but so far so good. We are raising our kids by the golden rule. And if someone is mean to them, it's that person's problem, not theirs, so they shouldn't worry about it. Find people who are going to be nice.

 

[Gymbomom]

My next door neighbor is ready to kill a little boy on her sons bus. He is in kindergarten.
A bigger bully told him there were monsters in the toilet and he had told those monsters to get him next time he sits down.

Now he is scared to death to go to the bathroom.

At first we thought it was slightly funny until he is going on his 6th day of being scared of the mosters in the toilet!!

 

[disneysnowflake]

We took our youngest off the bus in Kindergarten.
The high school gets out at 2:30. The elementary at 3:30.
If you have detention in high school you ride the elementary bus home.
High school kids were trying to undress my son on the bus.
I complained and was called a troublemaker. I'm a troublemaker because high schoolers serving detention tried to undress a 5 year old?
I took him off the bus and was told I was over-protective.
You have to do what you have to do.

I'm so sorry this happened to your child. I find it's much easier in our district for the school to ignore the situation instead of trying to correct it.

 

[I Love Pluto]

He is not a baby. He is human. No one goes to school to get bullied by others. Keep a record of this type of bullying in case you need it in the future. You're a good mom.

 

[LiLIrishChick63]

kids definatly can be cruel.

but i've learned that a lot of times it'll come from the parents. not ALL the time, sometimes it comes from friends, but most of the time it'll come from parents. more than enough times i've heard a father say to his son "Stop crying, boys don't cry!" and i think it's terrible.

DF's father told me some story about his oldest boy when he was about a year old, something about bringing him out in bad weather(first smart move right there) and him crying because he was scared. and he goes on and on about "he was crying like a little baby!" .......well he WAS a baby! and he was scared. and the whole time the oldest son is standing right there listening.