Why are books acceptable, but video games aren't?

[Magpie]

Count me among those whose parents yelled at them because they read too much as a kid...and my mom was an English teacher. Okay, so the kid blows off homework - is she getting bad grades? Heck, I used to read under my desk all the time because I was bored out of my mind at school. And I blew off doing homework too, but I always got it done eventually (sometimes in the 15 minutes before class started, but...). Does she completely avoid friends or does she just often prefer to stay home where its quiet? If she had no friends but those between the pages of literature you may have a problem, otherwise, not so much.

The key is whether it seriously negatively impacts her life. If it does, it's an addiction and unacceptable. If not, its a hobby.

This is my kid! She always gets her work done, eventually. Her grades are *exactly* what they need to be, and not a percentage point more. Typical conversation...

"Don't worry, Mom. I'll do fine on the Science exam. I memorized the first 20 elements of the periodic table."

"What about the other elements?"

"Oh, the teacher says they're really hard, so we don't have to worry about it."

"If you want an A plus, you have to go above and beyond."

The kid looks at me like I've suddenly sprouted a second head. "But I don't HAVE to know that stuff!"

Sigh... She gets high B's and low A's, and she's perfectly content.

She doesn't avoid her friends. She has a best friend she eats lunch with every day. She's just happiest curled up on the couch with a good book.

I think she could turn into a potted plant if she was allowed, but we've been working on her for years, so she knows that it's not acceptable to blow people off for a book.

"Your books will always be there, but your friends won't!"

 

[Scurvy]

OP, I've wondered that as well. I often see the assumption that books are inherently good and video games are inherently bad. Personally, I think that depends entirely on what you are reading or playing, and neither one is good if done to excess. Some books are very educational and so are some games. Some books expand your vocabulary and others are pure fluff that don't teach you anything at all. Some games are nothing but mindless destruction, and some games teach you to think in new ways to solve problems. Both books and games can be used to escape reality, which can also be a good thing if not done to excess. There seems to be more focus these days on video game addictions, but I've never seen anyone focus on an addiction to reading which I believe can be just as harmful. In fact, I see people bragging that their children read 18 hours a day but they would be embarrassed to admit that their child played video games for even half that amount of time. I find it really strange.

I have noticed that most people who talk about how bad video games are don't really play games themselves, while just about everyone has experience with reading as an educational tool (even if they aren't big readers in their free time). Maybe to some people, reading seems safe because they read and never got addicted to it, and video games seem threatening and mysterious because they hear bad things about them in the media but haven't had much experience with games themselves. On the other hand, I think people who grew up with games like "Oregon Trail" being used in schools are more likely to realize that both reading and games have their benefits if they aren't done to the point that they interfere with "real life".

 

[gina2000]

To me, reading expands the mind. It gives the reader the opportunity to see places he'd never see, explore ideas he'd never think of, and discover important thoughts/opinions both mainstream and radical. Reading offers horizons of learning.

I'm no video game expert. I have no idea what video games do to expand a child's horizons. I do know that many children become entrenched in the video gamer lifestyle and are unable to enjoy or appreciate activities that do not supply immediate gratification. I believe that's a huge negative.

Addiction is not optimum no matter what activity is involved. Having said that, I'd rather have a child addicted to books than anything else.

 

[MrsPete]

I'm a book addict myself and I do think I'd have benefited from my mom nudging me a little to get out of my comfort zone and do a little more interacting socially.

That's exactly the kind of thing I'm reading into the OP's post.

depending on the game in question, I'd disagree with the bolded part. While some games are very linear in their layout (you have no choice but to follow along the pre-set path/quest), there are open-ended games that allow you to roam/explore and even make ethical/moral choices that will impact what happens.

I disagree (as do all the folks who write education textbooks). No matter how open-ended, you're still required to operate within the confine of the game. Even the friendships and chatter that go along with multi-player games are still all driven by what's possible in the game.

And we actually have taken steps to ensure some balance in my daughter's life. She's not allowed to bring recreational reading to school anymore - any reading she does at school or in class has to related to the curriculum. She's discovered a number of lunchtime clubs that she enjoys, so she's involved in those. Her fanfiction has been limited to an hour a day (actual physical books are unlimited, since what we have is better quality), and she has to get her homework done first. For awhile I was insisted that before she could read, she had to write something first. As a result she's discovered she loves writing, and has filled many notebooks with poetry.

So when her "go to choice" was limited, she discovered other outlets -- and as a result, her world was expanded. Exactly the right choice for this kid!

Count me among those whose parents yelled at them because they read too much as a kid . . . The key is whether it seriously negatively impacts her life. If it does, it's an addiction and unacceptable. If not, its a hobby.

You bring up a good point -- WHY is the kid reading so much? The OP says that it seems to be an escape, a way of avoiding other things, and that's a legitimate concern. You know, that parental gut thing is right so often.

On the other hand, when I started 2nd grade my teacher told my mom that I had to stop reading. She said that I wasn't going to be allowed to check out books from the library during 2nd grade. Her reasoning: I was too far ahead of the other kids in reading ability, and she didn't want me to move up to the chapter books in the library while the other students were still in the little-kids' corner. This obviously wasn't a good reason to withhold reading material from me, and my mother said so. She told the teacher that any week I was denied a library book, she'd take me to the public library and let me check out five. She also spoke to the principal about the teacher, and he saw things my mom's way.

WHY matters!

OP, I've wondered that as well. I often see the assumption that books are inherently good and video games are inherently bad. Personally, I think that depends entirely on what you are reading or playing, and neither one is good if done to excess. Some books are very educational and so are some games. Some books expand your vocabulary and others are pure fluff that don't teach you anything at all. Some games are nothing but mindless destruction, and some games teach you to think in new ways to solve problems . . . On the other hand, I think people who grew up with games like "Oregon Trail" being used in schools are more likely to realize that both reading and games have their benefits if they aren't done to the point that they interfere with "real life".

I totally agree that both books and video games vary in quality, but the majority of books have value, while you have to look past a few blow-em-up games to find video games with substance. I'm not saying they're not out there -- my youngest is currently going through a house-building phase and is learning C.A.D.

Also, while kids may really enjoy games like Oregon Trail, they don't tend to become addicted to them and play them for hours and hours, months and months.

 

[katesorad]

I feel like if ANYTHING takes up your time and prevents you from being productive, then it's bad.. whether it's reading, playing video games, or growing a vegetable garden. I don't care how "harmless" the activity sounds.

But I think that the way that society looks at it is, reading is usually associated with smart kids, and reading is how people "learn" things. As far as video games go, there are many video games that are out there that have the purpose of killing. I've seen a lot of kids play games that the sole intent of the game is to have the player running around and shooting things. I guess that society feels like reading a book can cause less harm than teaching a child to run around in the video game world, shooting at people. I find this to be kind of sad.

I think that it's great to have a hobby that you enjoy, but doing that hobby 24/7 isn't good, no matter what it is.

 

[Robinrs]

I have lived too long... comparing reading to video games... it's time for me to die....

 

[Magpie]

I disagree (as do all the folks who write education textbooks). No matter how open-ended, you're still required to operate within the confine of the game. Even the friendships and chatter that go along with multi-player games are still all driven by what's possible in the game.

Not necessarily... My son and I are both currently madly in love with a game called "Minecraft". I play waaay too much.

Minecraft is utterly open ended. You're dropped into a world - either alone, or into a world populated by other players, depending on whether you choose the single player or multiplayer option. Your world is constructed of blocks made of assorted materials. These materials can be destroyed, used as building material, or combined to create new things. The combinations are literally limitless. It's basically like Lego... only with cows, chickens, sheep, and zombies. And since it's still in Beta, new elements are being added on a regular basis (wool dyes!).

And if you don't like what you see, you're free to create hacks and change it up as much as you like.

As a writer, playing inside of Minecraft feels to me a lot like writing. I'm constructing and discovering a universe one piece at a time, and yet my universe has laws of its own that periodically surprise me (today a chicken somehow got past my fences and trampled all over my wheat). Which is like writing, too, because sometimes my characters do things I don't expect.

That's actually one of the reasons I've been pushing my daughter to write. Reading is nice enough, but it's not creative. It's a passive activity, and my daughter can be a far too passive at times. Readers don't create anything of their own. All they do is let themselves be entertained by stories other people have written for them.

In some ways, though there's a certain amount of skill involved in decoding words, I worry that light recreational reading really isn't all THAT different from watching TV.

 

[DisneyScraps]

I was your DD. I read every second I could. Flashlight after going to bed. A book went with me every place I went. LOVE was a good book. I think it's more acceptable because reading is something you do your while life. I don't have a lot of time to read like I used to but when I do I read, fast and I can devour a book in a few hours. It's a good skill to have.

I am not really sure what real life skills video games have for kids. A true gamer can probably point out some great points about the games.

For my DD I don't let her do anything obsessively. She reads plenty, she gets some video games but what I want for her it outside playing every day that it's feasible. I want a balance for her.

Yes, as a child i suffered from being mildly overweight. Had my Mom sent me outside to play a little more that might not have happened.

It took a lot to concur that but I am sit and healthy and hoping to steer my daughter from feeling how I did in school.

Lisa

 

[bicker]

I don't see any book reading that is less passive than video game playing. Generally, video games are more active, and are getting to be more interactive with others, as compared to book reading.

And now with add-ons like the Kinect for Xbox 360 and the Playstation Move, a lot of video games are patently active. I get totally drenched with sweat playing Kinect Adventures.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I do think that on the whole reading is a better activity because (as others have mentioned) it increases vocabulary, imagination, writing skills, spelling skills, etc.
I also think video games (depending on WHICH ones) are not as bad as the perception. Those perceptions were generally formed before the newer, more interactive and physically active games came into being.

That said-- I read the way your daughter reads and so does my daughter. I did not learn how to handle anything socially (or how to handle much of anything without the escape of reading) until I moved to another country at 15 and ran out of things to read and HAD to. Moving to Germany did not stop my daughter--more English books are available overseas now and she has a kindle Besides, I don't want her to learn it in one stressful event.
I do insist she not read at various times (like she has to sleep and she has to have two outside activities she regularly participates in at all times--one must be physical). I have even been known to tell her she has to check her email and she has to go on facebook for 15 minutes (yes, I am the one mom out there making their kid go on facebook--usually once she is on it she likes it, and it DOES make a difference in her social circle, she just has a hard time stopping reading to do something else).

She is getting better and better and developed many interests outside of books (though she still does and likely always will love reading). Now she likes Star Trek TV shows, Glee, Karate, Musical Theatre, Roller blading, ice skating, hiking, swimming, etc. She is becoming a more rounded individual for whom reading is a PASSION but not an OBSESSION (as it was before). I think it is my job to guide her to that point.

 

[shortbun]

My only problem with children who are 'addicted' to either is when they can not stop long enough to have necessaary conversation, either socially or answering a parent's call or request. Ie. you have guests and the child is playing on his/her DS so does not even look up to greet and spend a bit of time with the guests. That's a problem. Mom says, "put the book down and come to dinner." Ten minutes later, book still being read and child is not at the dinner table or has not come and retreived their food. That's a problem. Chores must be done, social expectations must be met. After that, read all you want or go play video games. I have to say that my child does a great job with all of it. We worked on time budgeting when he was little-charts, diaries, marking off time spent and other work done thus earning more time to read or play. I think it worked.

 

[mjkacmom]

Well, any addiction can be harmful. I had a few times where I became addicted to reading as a child. However, at least there are some benefits, like increase in vocabulary, building writing skills, using the imagination... I'm a big reader, but it's something I want to do, not need to do. I think that's one of the differences between something you really love to do, and something that will make you agitated if you are not able to do it.