Whoa VENT

[allison443]

If you want help you clean up during the party. Usually the last ones there are not the "cleaners".

I agree with that!!

 

[Tink888]

we always serve alcohol at our parties, and most of our friends are smokers, and that type of behavior is NEVER exhibited! I, too would be upset about cig. butts on the floor. It is not people who enjoy a drink or a cigarette. It is, as a previous poster suggested, the maturity of the guests. spilled drinks with no apologies or mad rush to clean up the accident? NOT the behavior of MY friends!.

I don't think that I called drinkers and smokers pigs or nasty. Sorry if you took it that way. I'm an ex-smoker myself and I have been to enough parties in my 20's to know that the more people drink, the less mature they tend to become. Things get spilled, stuff gets bumped, people don't pay attention. Is it immature not to say anything or clean it up when it happens? Yep.

My point is that when you've got people drinking and smoking in your house, the chances of something like that happening are likely to go up, the same way if you give a two year old a "grown-up" glass of red kool-aid and let them roam all over your white carpet, there's a pretty good chance you might end up with a kool-aid stain on it.

 

[MushyMushy]

It sounds to me like alcohol was flowing pretty freely, so maybe that's just par for the course. I would have a totally different expectation from my guests at a drinking party than I would for, say, a dinner party. I guess I would have lower expectations of cleanliness when people are drinking.

But, never would I expect anyone to help clean. Ever. The way I was raised, we waited on guests hand and foot. They don't have to worry about anything when they're at my house.

 

[smidgy]

No offense taken, tink! thanks for the clarity. I just hate to see boorish behaviour (once again) blamed on smokers or people who enjoy adult beverages. you are right about the age group though. I am in my fifties, and I guess I do remember parties "back then" when SOME guests were irrespective of the hosts' home.
and I also agree, even though it is "nice" for people to help, it's not a requirement. I actually would get irritated at 2 specific women who used to take it upon themselves... at myhouse... to start cleaning up and put all the food away when I wanted to leave it out for people to "nibble" at. (they were always the "first to the trough") if I am serving alcohol, I like to leave food out throughout the evening. I know they were trying to help, but not everyone wants to eat at the same time. ... RELAX! have fun! I'll clean it up on the morrow!
PS (and back in my 20's.. wow, seems like just yesterday, people would just "crash" overnight)... does that sound bad? not to me.. better than driving home after drinking! then in the morning some would go home and a few would make breakfast and clean a bit.
ok, we don't have parties like THAT anymore,(hmmm, why not?) but even then, my friend respected my house.
but I still would never expect my guests to clean

 

[Boxley]

Well, reading all the texts, I came to the conclusion that this party was no dinner party, the OP may have wanted it that way, but it did not end up the way she wanted. It seems to me that booze was involved in the guests behavior. The OP was probably anxious about the place getting really messed up and her so called friends did not respect her home. The place seemed to be more then just a normal mess after a party. Anyone would resent the fact that the mess is not a normal party mess and that friends who supposably complain about others would be disrespectful to another's house. Honestly, everytime I have a party and the guests are disrespectful around the house,
I would say something to them, make me a bad host I don't care, but the guests aren't the ones who have to scrub the walls after the party. Sure it is "her party her mess" but then again how many of your "perfect" hosts would not be a little annoyed at a weird stain on the wall or cig butts on the floor? Would you be "Oh well it was a good party" as you are scrubbing the walls and hoping the stains will come out and clearing glass so no one will hurt themselves.She was a good host in not saying anything afterwards, or snapping on them ( she never said she complained to them) that is why it is called a VENT in this post, she can feel whatever way she wants, she could hoped to have expected an offer but that is not what turned out. She felt annoyed like anyone else could of felt. Maybe sweeping the glass makes a person resentful, seeing your friend spill wine on accident then not clean it up would make anyone resentful.