Who pays for Prom?

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

Sorry, I'm still in shock that a dinner/dance for a teen is basically $100 per person. And after paying that, people actually pay for a limo as well. (No way on God's green earth I would pay for his date's dress and hair appointment.)

Thank you, son, for not being interested in going.

 

[mjkacmom]

Sorry, I'm still in shock that a dinner/dance for a teen is basically $100 per person. And after paying that, people actually pay for a limo as well. (No way on God's green earth I would pay for his date's dress and hair appointment.)

Thank you, son, for not being interested in going.

It’s always been this way here (dd21 and ds19 had prom at the same venue that DH and I did, full dinner wedding venue). They do fundraise to lower the cost. Limos and party buses have always been the norm, I got my hair and nails done. Don’t forget about the shore rental houses for the long weekend!

 

[sk!mom]

In my neck of the woods the girls (parents) pay for their ticket and dress and the boys (parents) pay for their ticket and suit. They buy each other a flower. Transportation can go either way.

Why the heck should I pay for my son's date's ticket/dress etc? Not going to happen unless she was in financial need of course.

No one has said anything about paying for the dates clothing until now... (cause on the Dis even the extreme happens)

Last year, DS asked a girl to the prom, & he (we) paid for his ticket & her ticket to the actual prom. They went to dinner before the prom w/ a group of friends, & he paid for both his & her dinner. We also ordered & paid for her wrist corsage. She (her parents) paid for his boutonniere.

In addition to the prom tickets, my nephew's parents paid for his date's dress, hair appointment, & pedicure/manicure as well.

Was there some mitigating circumstance for this? I've never heard of such a thing and can't imagine the mom of a date taking my DD shopping for a prom dress.

I thought it went without saying that everyone paid for their own clothing and prep- hair, nails, makeup, whatever.

 

[Wendy31]

No one has said anything about paying for the dates clothing until now... (cause on the Dis even the extreme happens)



Was there some mitigating circumstance for this? I've never heard of such a thing and can't imagine the mom of a date taking my DD shopping for a prom dress.

I thought it went without saying that everyone paid for their own clothing and prep- hair, nails, makeup, whatever.

Yes, I believe there were some other circumstances.

 

[marthachick]

OP since his part-time GF is just looking to hang out with her friends I would let her do it on her own dime. And as for the girls he is flirting with, he could go stag and flirt with all of them and not pay their ticket money.

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

It’s always been this way here (dd21 and ds19 had prom at the same venue that DH and I did, full dinner wedding venue). They do fundraise to lower the cost. Limos and party buses have always been the norm, I got my hair and nails done. Don’t forget about the shore rental houses for the long weekend!

Maybe I was just cheap. I did my own hair and nails.

And although our tickets included dinner and was at a local wedding venue, it didn't cost as much as a wedding seating. We didn't have alcohol and we certainly didn't have the attentiveness that a wedding party has.

Oh, and there was no rental houses for the weekend. We actually went home and slept in our own beds.

Either way, I wouldn't encourage a young man to pay for the ticket of someone that has made it known that she doesn't want to spend evening with him. She can pay her own way if she wants to hang out with friends.

 

[mjkacmom]

Maybe I was just cheap. I did my own hair and nails.

And although our tickets included dinner and was at a local wedding venue, it didn't cost as much as a wedding seating. We didn't have alcohol and we certainly didn't have the attentiveness that a wedding party has.

Oh, and there was no rental houses for the weekend. We actually went home and slept in our own beds.

Either way, I wouldn't encourage a young man to pay for the ticket of someone that has made it known that she doesn't want to spend evening with him. She can pay her own way if she wants to hang out with friends.

Wedding seating do cost more, plus there are added costs l8ke photographers/photo booth, DJ, favors, and I’m guessing security for hundreds of teens.

I agree, the OP’s ds should buy her a ticket.

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

No one has said anything about paying for the dates clothing until now... (cause on the Dis even the extreme happens)

At least 5 people mentioned paying for their daughter's dress which is why I mentioned that I, of course, would pay for my daughter's dress, not my son's date's dress.

 

[Summer2018]

At least 5 people mentioned paying for their daughter's dress which is why I mentioned that I, of course, would pay for my daughter's dress, not my son's date's dress.

Exactly. Just adding up the costs which are a lot. Senior prom costs a lot these days, especially for the girl. Senior year is really expensive period.

 

[Disney Doll]

I would say whomever does the inviting should pay for the tickets. Everyone pays for their own clothes. If they take a limo maybe the cost can be split? If not I’d say whomever did the inviting should pay.

OP, I’d tell your son to either take the flirty girl or go with his buddies. I agree that since his ex-GF has stated that she wants to go to be able to hang out with her friends, then let her go with her friends.

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

Wedding seating do cost more, plus there are added costs l8ke photographers/photo booth, DJ, favors, and I’m guessing security for hundreds of teens.

I agree, the OP’s ds should buy her a ticket.

Sorry, I meant the opposite. He shouldn't buy her a ticket. She plans on spending the entire evening with her friends. She doesn't want to be with him.

 

[Floridaman999]

Dutch.

 

[AustinTink]

My son (i.e. his parents) paid for all the proms and homecomings. This included dinner, tickets to the event, transportation, corsage and after party. The girl bought the dress and the boutonniere. I wish I still had all that money in my pocket, but I know he had fun at all those events and that's what matters.

 

[mnrose]

The more I read this thread, the more I'm surprised that parents pay for this stuff at all. I make my kids pay for it. They have jobs. It's THEIR choice, and THEIR budget. That seems pretty much the norm in my area, BTW. It's not like I'm outside the mainstream. (My son chooses not to go. Not his thing. My daughter goes, but has always been conservative in what she spends, and does her own hair and makeup, reusing shoes, etc).

 

[low-key]

the ugliest person pays

 

[Gumbo4x4]

DD is paying her own way - no date, though.

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

The more I read this thread, the more I'm surprised that parents pay for this stuff at all. I make my kids pay for it. They have jobs. It's THEIR choice, and THEIR budget. That seems pretty much the norm in my area, BTW. It's not like I'm outside the mainstream. (My son chooses not to go. Not his thing. My daughter goes, but has always been conservative in what she spends, and does her own hair and makeup, reusing shoes, etc).

Well good for you.

 

[CarolAnn856]

The more I read this thread, the more I'm surprised that parents pay for this stuff at all. I make my kids pay for it. They have jobs. It's THEIR choice, and THEIR budget. That seems pretty much the norm in my area, BTW. It's not like I'm outside the mainstream. (My son chooses not to go. Not his thing. My daughter goes, but has always been conservative in what she spends, and does her own hair and makeup, reusing shoes, etc).

The thing is, what is right for one family isn't right for another, and that's fine. Your post comes across as if you feel your way is better, instead of what it is - simply different.

Around here it's pretty normal for parents to consider things like this as part of the cost of having kids, along with a car, car insurance, and college, to name a few. DH and I are happy to cover all those, and we'll happily pay for the senior trip to Disney for our daughter in two years, too (our son didn't have an interest in going).

 

[mjkacmom]

The more I read this thread, the more I'm surprised that parents pay for this stuff at all. I make my kids pay for it. They have jobs. It's THEIR choice, and THEIR budget. That seems pretty much the norm in my area, BTW. It's not like I'm outside the mainstream. (My son chooses not to go. Not his thing. My daughter goes, but has always been conservative in what she spends, and does her own hair and makeup, reusing shoes, etc).

My teens would love to work, but they play HS sports, practices after school and on weekends every season. My girls babysit when they can, and dd16 teaches a dance class or 2 every week (plus takes several classes a week herself in addition to track). They don’t get an allowance. We pay for school activities (formal, prom, sports, project graduation, booster club dues, theater fees, cleats, spikes, overnight trips...). They get about $100 a year in birthday money, but do contribute to birthday gifts for immediate family members (their choice).

We have a junior formal and senior prom, so only 2 events.

 

[Summer2018]

The more I read this thread, the more I'm surprised that parents pay for this stuff at all. I make my kids pay for it. They have jobs. It's THEIR choice, and THEIR budget. That seems pretty much the norm in my area, BTW. It's not like I'm outside the mainstream. (My son chooses not to go. Not his thing. My daughter goes, but has always been conservative in what she spends, and does her own hair and makeup, reusing shoes, etc).

My daughter wasn’t able to work in high school. She went to a performing arts high school. In order to fit in her required courses for graduation plus all of her theatre, voice, and dance classes, she went to school for 10 hours a day. That didn’t include after school rehearsals for shows. She never would have had time for homework if she had a job. It was challenging as it was with her full schedule. She got a job at Lord & Taylor after she graduated from high school.

She is my one and only. I was more than happy to provide a stunning gown with the beautiful accessories. I did her hair for her junior ring dance, but I knew that I could not create her vision for her senior prom hair, so I happily made an appointment with her hair stylist.

There’s nothing wrong with providing your child with the things that dreams are made of, especially when they appreciate it.