Who has a kid with ADD/ADHD??

[tinkerbeth]

...and what were they like as toddlers? Were there any indicators that they would be ADD later on? And what worked or is working in your family to deal with the condition? And has anyone taken their dd or ds out of school to home-school as a result of them being ADD??

So many questions. I'm wondering if some of the traits of my ds are early signs of ADD. If he is ADD or ADHD, I'll be tempted to take him out of the school system and home school him. I love public education and I'm a teacher myself in the public system, but I think it's designed for "the greatest good for the greatest number" but that these kids seem to fall through... I don't see ADD/ADHD as a 'problem' in and of itself, it just doesn't fit with what we happen to expect kids to do in our culture. Mozart wouldn't have composed anything if he had to quit music after 36 minutes and move on to math.

Looking forward to hearing your ideas...


Beth

 

[Kallison]

I work with a lot of ADD kids as an aide in middle school. I think you can get a good public school education in our system if you work with an IEP.

If you post this on the disabilities board or Family board you might get more replies too.

 

[FTWFAN]

As an infant and toddler he was a wonderful child. He is the most loving of my 3 kids and often he is the most outgoing. Our problems started when he started 1st grade. It was a chore each night to get his very small amount of homework done. Even the simplest of assignments, such as just coloring a picture, often took us over an hour to complete. He would get so angry--throw his pencil, ball up his papers, and many other displays of anger. He had a tutor for his reading and can read rather well, but he can't spell when it comes time to write the words. Read them--yes, spell the same word--NO! All through his first grade year I asked his teacher and pediatrician for help. We had his eyes and his hearing checked. Everything great! Everyone's answer--"He's a boy! Things come harder for boys than girls! Be patient with him, He will catch on!" My response "BULL!!!!!!!!!" Finally, right after school started last year, we started seeing a new pediatrician. After talking with DS and getting me and DS's teacher to answer a questionnaire, the ped suggested that DS was ADD. We tried a very small dose of ritalin(sp???). I could tell a difference in DS the second day he was on the med. All the time he was getting so angry while doing his homework because he couldn't concentrate long enough to finish the assignment. After the meds, he was finishing his homework in no time at all. He teacher was great working with us. On the few nights that we were off our routine and DS was to stressed to let me or DH help with his homework, she would work with him a few minutes before school the next morning and he would complete his homework. He actually had A's and B's all this past year and even finished the last 9 weeks of school with an A in spelling. For us, this was a major accomplishment. His 2nd grade teacher spoke with the principal about DS's situation and I am glad to report that he is going to have an excellent teacher again this year(one that will work with us through DS's problems).
Don't get me wrong! I am not saying that meds are the right thing for all children, but for us----IT WORKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you would like to talk more, just pm me!

 

[Local_Girl]

Hi tinkerbeth,

My son was diagnosed with ADD at the beginning of his 4th grade school year (last fall)...though we'd originally had some ADD screening done in Kindergarten. He is very bright (just a little biased, LOL!!) and his 1st, 2nd and 3rd grade teachers were all very willing to work with him (special attention, charts, etc.), so we didn't have him thoroughly screened and medically evaluated (and therefore medicated) until last fall. My DH and I have always been very reluctant to medicate him...but by the second week of 4th grade, he was really struggling to focus and stay on task at school and he was having trouble keeping up. He is now on Focalin, a fairly new medication, and it has done wonders for his ability to focus and stay on task. My SIL just sent me some info about nutrition and ADD, but I haven't had a chance to look into it yet...

I too considered home schooling, but honestly don't think I'm cut out to teach my kids adequately. As a trained teacher, you would have the skills necessary to teach your own child...if I were in your shoes, I would definitely consider that option.

 

[tinkerbeth]

Thanks for the replies so far. I've been reading Dr. Sears' site and even though Gabe is not quite 3 (which means he's FREE at WDW ), I can see a lot of this stuff in him. He was 'high needs' as a baby and it seems to be carrying through with a lot of the things people have said. He's very loving and compassionate, inquisitive and has a great memory but try to get him to sit at the table for a whole meal. Forget it! (I've given up on that one, by the way.)

Last year I taught music to a grade 3 class where there were about 7 kids with ADD or ADHD. A couple of them were my favourite kids in the class but with 30 of them in the room, it was a nightmare! Robbie, please sit down. Robbie, I need you to be in your seat please. Robbie, I would love to look at your drawing a bit later but right now I need you to stand in line. And that was just Robbie! (who I loved by the way.) And that was with a fantastic teacher, but let's face it, they're not all fantastic.

It's weighing on my mind.

Beth

 

[wink89]

My son was diagnosed with ADD....FINALLY at the age of 5. He was really different from birth. He was the baby that couldn't be soothed. He cried at everything and would not sleep. As a matter of fact, he didn't sleep through the night until he was 3. He was always jumping from one subject to the next. He didn't jump because he was bored, he jumped because he was mastering the subjecys much faster than other kids in his class. He even had IQ tests in kindergarden since he mastered things so much quicker than the otehr kids. They really are loving kids. He still races through his work and HAS to get finished before everyone else. The public school system has been okay, but I have to stay on them constantly. I now they hate me, but so far (going into the 3rd grade) we have had some great and caring teachers.

Good luck!!!

 

[Vivig]

Our son has been diagnosed with ADHD.

Grade one has been a nightmare to say the least. We had him enrolled in a French Immersion program, and his teacher was not the right fit for him...by far. Through much testing at the hospital for Sick Kid's he was assessed as ADHD. He is now on Concerta..and the last three weeks of school when he was on the medication he improved very much. Unfortunately, his teacher did many things wrong and we feel he has been segregated from his classmates and his self esteem is sooo low..we are probably going to transfer him into the Public school system...we investigated both Separate as well as the Public system and after much investigation the Public system stood out as being a much stronger choice.

I feel/felt as a failure to my son..but we are all workign through this experience..we are keeping him motivated and trying every bit to raise his self confidence. My suggestion to you is that you HAVE to be a strong advocate for your child...you know all their strong points as well as their weak points. DO NOT let a teacher break your childs spirit...make sure that you are always ontop of what they are projecting to your son. ( Don't let them 'label' your child.)

Our son has always been busy and had a very short attention span. He picked things up quickly but lost interest very quickly. We are hoping that grade 2 will be better.

My suggestion is to ensure that you have the 'right' teacher for your child..and ensure open and supportive conversation between you both.

Sorry for the long story....

PS when I was inquiring about ADHD on these boards I received much encouragement from all these wonderful DISER's. They helped me through my hardest time.

If you wish to 'speak' ....PM me anytime....

Vivian

 

[ripleysmom]

Both of my children are ADHD and have been diagnosed from very early ages.

Here is a link that you might be interested in www.chadd.org

You might also want to check to see if there is a similar organization or group in Canada.

Good Luck!

 

[tinkerbeth]

Thanks again for the replies. I know just what you mean, Vivian about being an advocate for your kid at school.

Right now Gabe is in a really good daycare that goes up to SK...we think we'll likely keep him there through JK and SK because transition is really hard for him. Hopefully by the end of SK, we'll have an idea of how he will do in the public system. DH and I are both teachers so hopefully we'll have some insight.

While I don't want to label him like you said, I think that if I know what traits he has and try to parent him accordingly, it can only help. I am *definatly* not going to let anyone squash his self-esteem. They'll have to squash me first! I was encouraged by the fact that a lot of the things Sears advised you do to help kids with ADD, we are doing already with GAbe the babe.

Thanks again.

 

[isyne4u]

Beth...I think we have the same child!! My son was diagnosed last week with ADHD and he has just turned 4. Mine is the same way with meals...three bites and he is ready to get down and move. I have said since he was just under 2 that I thought he was ADHD. He never had the attention span I would see in the other kids his age, I joked that he would never be a couch potato because he didn't stop long enough to look at the tv, let alone sit and watch it for any lenght. I asked his dr. at his 2 yo well check if he could be showing signs of ADHD and she promised me he would grow out of it as he got older. At his 3 year check she had to chase him around the room and I called him my "human dust mop" because he kept going under the table and rolling around on the floor.

I thought maybe I was a lousy parent. I used time out, Magic 1,2,3, I used removal from situations. I spent more time sitting with him trying to teach him patience...to no avail. In the last year or so he has developed severe impulsivity issues. He will do something that makes no sense and when you ask why he did it, he looks totally surprised by what he just did. And then there are the mood swings. OY VEY, worse than a hormonal pregnant woman! He really started showing signs of aggression (only to people closest to him...not other kids at school....they were the ones getting him!)

So at his 4 year check as the dr could see how hyper he was and how hard I tried to control him, so when i asked about ADHD she gave me some papers to fill out and some for his preschool teacher.

When she went over the surveys with me she said they were almost identical in their scoring. She said that he is ADHD but also has some other issues that could be a mood disorder. She said the only way to tell is to put him on meds and if the mood swings end then it means that he was that way because of his frustration with not being able to control himself. IF they got worse or didn't get better then we may be looking at a type of bipolar disorder. He was put on Ritalin LA 10mg, but it is a new drug and the pharmacy had to order it and it was a one week wait. I should have it by this friday or next monday, so then i will see how he does.

Good luck and pm me if you want to talk!
tara

 

[Christine]

Both of my children have ADHD (DD-12 and DS-9).

Having it in a girl is much different than in a boy. My DD was necessarily fidgeting, but more of a daydreamer. She is very disorganized. As a baby, she hardly slept and she was never one to cuddle on your lap. At 3 weeks she rolled over and was always moving around when she was on your lap. There was no such thing as putting her on a blanket to sit around and relax.

DS was much calmer, loving, cuddly as a baby, but by the time he was three, he was *different*. In fact, he was technically booted out of his first home daycare. All the other kiddies would sit and zone out with legos, etc. He was up moving around and bolting off in all directions. The day care provider just couldn't handle it. He ended up doing TONS better in a center with lots of energy/activities.

I think both my kids get a GREAT public/private school education. Many of my DS's teachers have gone out of there way to accommodate his *creativity* and let him learn in ways that are useful to him.

 

[northern michigan]

Good luck to you. I have a dd age 12 with ADD. She is not hyperactive, but impulsive and highly distractable and as disorganized as they come. This, unfortunately, affects family life 24/7. My dd has been on multiple different meds and doses for 4 years now. I think we've finally hit the right combination of med and dose. As she grows each year we struggle to refine again and again. At this age now, she's struggling with friendships. She's not as mature as her peers and also struggles with anxiety. Kid's are tough on her and she's too immature to take charge and turn these encounters around to get their respect. You can probably tell I'm somewhat drained. Hang in there and remember there's always something new to try when one avenue begins to fail.

The main thing I remember about her in the early years was her lack of interest. When it came time for kindergarten, I didn't feel she was ready. Her interests seemed to be immature compared to her peers. She had no interest in reading. listening to stories, writing or coloring. Her writing and coloring was behind her peers. It still is.

 

[tmli]

My ds was also diagnosed with ADHD when he was 5. Since then we have discovered we are looking at a number of things that show like ADHD but are other more serious conditions. We are in the middle of alot of testing medical and psychological and don't have clear answers yet.

My ds also is so loving and caring with a huge heart. Every child is different but I'll tell you I knew at 18 mths that something was different with mine. There wasn't any one thing I could put my finger on, but he was different then other children. None of the time outs, 123 magic or any other disciplines made a difference for him. It didn't matter how many parenting books I read, he didn't react like other kids.

My best advice is be persistent....and learn all you can. I keep a file of all relevant info as well as a journal/timeline of behaviours, treatments etc. When you do get help, the Dr. will want to know a complete history from the time he was conceived to present day.

Also when I see a new DR for the first time I always ask for an appointment that involves me meeting the DR first and describing my ds's behaviours and my concerns. I also let him know that my policy is not to discuss negatives in front of my son. I don't believe it helps any child to hear a parent give a stranger a laundry list of his faults. I also make a point of telling them all my ds's strengths and wonderful qualities prior to getting into discussing the worrisome behaviours.

I think you already know your child is "different" and that's why you posted, this board has given me alot of information. Visit the disabilities board they are fantastic.

Best of luck to your family,

 

[Pembo]

My 8 yo was diagnosed as mild adhd at age 4. We've always known he was difficult. As a baby he cried ALOT. He went to bed early and got up early (6 am). He always fought sleep. Dh used to take him in the car to sleep.

He was constantly on the go. We couldn't go anywhere because he was into everything. He didn't listen. If I didn't have him on a leash or in overalls I couldn't keep track of him. (Below the age of 3) He threw ALOT of tantrums. We even videotaped him b/c we though no one would ever believe us.

He cried LOUD. He talks LOUD and alot. He plays LOUD, even alone. He was LOUD!

I read The Difficult Child and every other book people recommended. Nothing worked. We tried time-out. We tried being super strict. We tried charts. We tried everything. Everything worked......for a short time, then it didn't.

I finally suspected ADHD. Dh has it, my brother has it. We took him to a psychologist and she agreed.

In preschool and 1/2 day kindergarten the teachers stayed on him. In first grade we started Focalin 1x day. 2nd grade he started on a second pill at lunch. What a difference. It really helps him focus. He is a very intelligent little boy and the meds help him reach his potential.

Would I homeschool? No. He longs for the socialization even though he sometimes has difficulties with it. He is getting better.

Good luck to you.

 

[tinkerbeth]

Again, thank you SO MUCH for sharing all these stories. I think the point about socialization is a good one. Gabe seems to do really well at daycare when he's with the other kids...he wants to copy their behaviour sometimes.

DH and I have agreed that it's not something we have to worry about vis-a-vis school for a few years which is good. And we are both committed to being ds's number one fans. We actually had a stellar night togheter tonight while dh was out.

Thanks again ladies.

 

[wink89]

The point about LOUD also comes in play with my child. My DH is a also loud at any given point and doesn't mean to be. The eating very finicky is also a problem with him. He can be very aggressive. ADHD/ADDers many times have additional problems with their ADD/ADHD. Sometimes its aggression, and sometimes its depression. It can actually be both. We are taking AdderallXR and Risperdal in combination and it has made a huge impact on his life. You can literally watch as it gets closer for his next dose of medication. He just loses control.

As with other disorders, he also has tics. He makes noises that he isn't even aware that he is making, or bounces his leg or taps a pencil..... These are little things that drive a teacher crazy!! But under the right settings, he can be reminded of what he is doing and control the impulses.

Whatever you do, don't get discouraged! We initially went to our family doctor who agreed that he had ADHD, but he wanted a second confirmation. To make a long story shorter, we went to 5 different doctors and psychologists, ALL who agreed that he had moderate to severe ADHD, before we were placed on the right combination of medications for him.

Also, don't plan on the first medication to be the one that is right for your child. We went through 4 hours of constant screaming with him begging "Help me stop....I can't stop!" with a medication he had adverse reactions to. But doctor aren't psychics...they have to make their best "guesses"too. Hang in there....the right treatment for your child IS out there!!