Where do I start...........

[CRB#33]

My DS showed me a bad bruise on his arm last weekend when he came home from his fathers during visitation.

Evidently my DS (aged 12) has been allowed to drive a speed boat through the bay waters of the Jersey shore. I have come to find out that there has been other underaged drivers of this boat while my children were in it.

Needless to say I flipped out when I heard this. I informed my ex-husband and the owner of this boat that this had better not ever happen again while my children were on the boat. I would have my ex in court and press charges on all adults involved for RECKLESS ENDANGERMENT OF A CHILD

I don't care how bad my ex would suffer if something happened because of his "mistake." It's negligence, pure and simple.

Would he feel punished enough because his child was hurt? Not in my mind and heart. If something happens to my child because of his disregard of their safety, I would have every right to be furious, and would have every right to call him every name in the book. Among any other punishment I could legally pursue.

Suppose, Mrs. Silky that if you and your husband allowed your child to go over a friend's house and this was your child that was killed because of their disregard of his/her safety, would you be so "sensitive" ?

My deepest sympathies go out to all involved in this awful tragedy. May many lessons be learned and applied.

 

[Silky]

My own father let me drive a powerboat when I was 11. He stood behind me at the helm to insure that I didn't apply too much throttle or oversteer. I know nothing about your ex-husband, but I KNOW that my father was never negligent or abusive towards me during my entire childhood.

Before our son visits a friend's house, we first ask if there are any guns on the premises. We then want to know who will be providing adult supervision. Could a tragedy still occur? Certainly. Anytime that our child is out of our sight, there's that risk; in fact, it could happen when he's with us as well. Would I feel rage if our son died because someone let him take an inexcusable risk?? OF COURSE!!! Would I feel "better" by attacking or hating or belittling the adult involved?? NO. All of the ranting and raving wouldn't bring him back

 

[DopeyRN]

Steve I am sorry that your request for prayers for this poor child has resulted in you having to defend yourself. Who would have thought that was possible???

I am so sorry that you had this experience, and my prayers are with that child.

And as far as I am concerned, a vehicle such as this with no protective equipment is NOT an accident. Yes, all parents have had accidents. But this is no different than when you are driving down the street and see a child standing in the back seat of a car...it is NEGLIGENCE.

{{{{Hugs}}}} Steve, and thank you for the work that you do.

 

[Mad4Mickey]

Steve I am also sorry that your request for prayers has turned a little ugly. NOT everyone will agree on what you said BUT I think we can all agree that what you do is WONDERFUL. God Bless you and your crew for doing your best ! Sometimes people just cant understand how it effects the Fireefighters and Medics when a child dies. If they could see how you guys toss and turn at night and wonder if what you did was really enough it may shed light on your feelings and your need to just get them out sometimes.


Wishing a peaceful nights rest

Mishell

 

[fireplug]

My own father let me drive a powerboat when I was 11. He stood behind me at the helm to insure that I didn't apply too much throttle or oversteer. I know nothing about your ex-husband, but I KNOW that my father was never negligent or abusive towards me during my entire childhood.

My point exactly your dad was taking the safety of his child seriously. He did not just throw you the keys and say "here Silky go drive around in this powerboat you'll be fine"

Steve

To all who have said kind words I do thank ALL of you

 

[Silky]

"COMPASSION is the antitoxin of the soul: where there is COMPASSION even the most poisonous impulses remain relatively harmless."

Eric Hoffer 1902-1983, American Author, Philosopher

 

[Dan Murphy]

Originally posted by Mad4Mickey
Steve I am also sorry that your request for prayers has turned a little ugly. NOT everyone will agree on what you said BUT I think we can all agree that what you do is WONDERFUL. God Bless you and your crew for doing your best ! Sometimes people just cant understand how it effects the Fireefighters and Medics when a child dies. If they could see how you guys toss and turn at night and wonder if what you did was really enough it may shed light on your feelings and your need to just get them out sometimes.


Wishing a peaceful nights rest

Mishell

You said it so well, Mishell, I think I will just repeat it here.

My best wishes are with you and all the people like you, Steve. Sorry to see you are in the barrel this time.

 

[fireplug]

"God Heals and the Doctor takes the fee" - Benjamin Franklin

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use."
- Galileo Galilei

To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me."
- Charles William Stubbs


Steve

 

[Silky]

STEVE, in 2001, there were 23 football-related deaths in high school and college kids. In addition, 6 high school kids suffered broken necks with permanent paralysis, and 2 children had severe brain injuries.

Were their parents NEGLIGENT for having allowed them to play?? They exposed their kids to an exceedingly violent game with known morbidity and mortality.

Being a parent is hard work. I'm not as perfect a parent as many other members here. Yes, I've lost sight of my son in a department store once or twice; yes, he has darted away from me a couple of times while crossing the street; yes, I've found him climbing trees/structures that posed too much risk. If he had died during any of these instances, I would have been devastated. So I suppose that I should be castigated and dismissed as a negligent parent.

 

[fireplug]

Silky old buddy you are missing the point .

Did any of those deaths or injuries happen because the kids were allowed to play this dangerous sport WITHOUT safety equipment. It would be negligent to let them play without them against other who were wearing them.

I really think we both have the SAFETY of children as our primary thought . Yes accidents happen and they can be very tragic but that doesn't mean its right to put kids in harms way.

Steve

 

[mom2boys]

Steve- Thank you for all that you do.

Recetnly my 9 yr old didn't want to wea his helmet, knee, elbow & wrist pads when roller blading down our drive. (We live on a mountain side & our drive is steep.) I told him he had a choice - wear the gear or don't roller blade. Not 5 minutes later his 9 yr old friend went racing down the mountain on his ATV with no helmet. This child's mother is a nurse

 

[house_of_princesses]

Steve, it takes special people to help when others are in need. My DH died about 3 weeks ago and the team that came into my home that morning were wonderful. (Despite the fact I told them I didn't want them in my home anymore... just wanted to be left alone. They understood and still treated my family and me with respect and compassion.) I'd rather have a person who still feels something/anything in my home, than someone who no longer feels anything. I haven't read all the posts here. Don't want to hear bashing when you just need to vent at a frustrating experience.

BTW, I live in Frankfort (just north of Kankakee) and I have not heard or read this story in the news. Perhaps that's part of the solution...getting the safety message out by example. Sad as that example may be.

I pray for peace and perserverance for you and your team.

Vicki

 

[Silky]

Steve, you're right. No parent should ever knowingly put their child in harm's way. Our PREEMINENT responsibility as parents is to PROTECT our children. However, NONE of us are perfect. Some are just lucky that momentary lapses in judgment haven't harmed our kids ; others are not so lucky.

The "faithful" out there (not including yours truly) would say that God wanted to take this poor child for reasons that we can't fathom. Perhaps those with such faith can find some peace in her death. I can't, but I also won't flagellate her parents for their tragically impaired judgment.

Long day tomorrow,

Goodnight.....

 

[doxdogy]

Another one that agrees. I also am sorry that the post has turned into a debate. This is one person that could never do your job. I feel that you were just expressing honest human emotions among friends. We will never fully agree with each other. However, we must remember that is natural to feel some anger when such a tragedy happens. I can imagine that this is not the first time that you have gone on a call similar to this. If I did your job, my feelings would probably be the same as yours towards the parents in the beginning. But, then over time I would begin to realize that the parents from now on will have to live with this guilt. Just the same as it will stay with you in a different way from the parents. Please everyone, remember that Steve is only expressing what I feel are normal feelings at this time. His job is a hard job. A job that I would never ever be able to do. Not only I have said prayers for the family of the girls. But, everytime I see a tragedy like this on the news, I also include the rescue workers in my prayers too.

Originally posted by Mad4Mickey
Steve I am also sorry that your request for prayers has turned a little ugly. NOT everyone will agree on what you said BUT I think we can all agree that what you do is WONDERFUL. God Bless you and your crew for doing your best ! Sometimes people just cant understand how it effects the Fireefighters and Medics when a child dies. If they could see how you guys toss and turn at night and wonder if what you did was really enough it may shed light on your feelings and your need to just get them out sometimes.


Wishing a peaceful nights rest

Mishell

 

[captin fink]

Steve,
Most of us here have known idea of what you have to deal with in your chosen profession. All I can do is say thank you for the job you and all like you do. As a parent, I do the best that I can protecting my kids. For this reason I will pray for you, the 9 year old girl and her family.

The "faithful" out there (not including yours truly) would say that God wanted to take this poor child for reasons that we can't fathom. Perhaps those with such faith can find some peace in her death. I can't, but I also won't flagellate her parents for their tragically impaired judgment.

Sorry, This fish ain't gonna bite

 

[Lanshark]

This childs death was a tragic accident that could have been prevented. I can't imagine the anguish those parents are feeling at this moment.

It's tragic for all involved including those who tried to save the child. Steve, it is a terribly difficult job you do.

 

[perdidobay]

Steve, my prayers go out to you and all others who serve humanity and see the worst side of human life. My prayers go out to the family of this young girl. I do have to say there is a fine line between letting children live a life free to learn and adventure and explore and parental negligence. However, when a child is not old enough to understand the dangers and consiquences of their actions, a parents role is to step in and insure the proper action. I feel these parents did not do as they should have, to insure this childs safety. And so now they pay the ultimate price.
So sad