When your child is in a performance or sports event...

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I have not seen this until we did our competitive dance competitions.

I don't mind people coming and going. It is a 12 hour event after all. You aren't expected to stay the entire duration.

What got me--repeated announcements to NOT move during an actual performance that is all of 2 and a half minutes. And countless team families would do this. Ticking off the security.

The teams were specifically sent an e-mail prior to the event about poor sportsmanship when it came to annoucing team winners--if your team is first, do NOT cheer when the 2nd place team is announced and take away from their honor. We were specifically asked by the event organizers to be respectful of all teams and ONLY cheer for your teams success when they are actually announced.

This one competition--lots of teams. And there were still 2 who just wouldn't zip it and they robbed the 2nd place team their opportunity to cheer. IT was just disgusting, especially when their coach was specifically told to not do this. (Evidently everyone else got the memo.)

This was for UDA at Wide World of Sports a few weeks ago. As a whole, the event was fine and most were polite. But it seemed that there were still many people who were above the rules to have to even be considerate of others watching the performances.

 

[luvmy3]

Something worse than this happens at my daughters school. Every year there is a winter festival concert and the performances are done grade by grade. After every grade is done all the parents from that grade get up and leave. Why not stay and see the whole concert?



By the time it comes to the Grade 6 class they are being watched by only their parents. My family always stays to the end, even when she was in Kindergarten. I feel like telling the leaving parents to stay and watch my kid. I watched theirs

I am guilty of this sometimes. We have our concerts at 7PM on weeknights, and the concert is just about 2 hours long. I have 3 kids to get ready for bed to get on the bus at 7:30 AM. If my kids are finished by 8PM, I'm leaving.
Having said that, we don't get up in the middle of the concert, we wait until the kids are leaving the stage.The kids who have already performed do not go back into the theatre, they are sent to the gym, or other classroom, they don't even get to see the concert . We leave, walk to where they are and pick them up. We do not talk during the concert, we do not use our cell phones, we do not get up and walk down the aisles. We just get up and walk quietly out, sorry if that disturbs you.
Also, I don't go to the concert to watch anyone elses kid, I go to see mine. I wouldn't care if someone got up and left before mine came on, they aren't there to see them perform.
This year my dd is in 6th and we will have to stay for the whole concert.

I hear ya OP. Drives me crazy too I attribute it to the general erosion of manners due to increase in people's entitlement attitudes and beliefs that their time is more valuable than others', i.e. "I'm too busy to stay for the whole show. I have to get home and (fill in the blank)."

Me being busy doesn't mean I think my time is more valuable than anyone else, but it is valuable to me.

And in responce to this trend, since attendance at the concerts is part of the grade, the school sends home a form stating that your child must stay until the end of the concert. If they are not there for the attendance check at the end of the concert, NO CREDIT will be given for the concert. It took a couple of years for it to get through the heads of the parents.

Having an afterschool activity be mandatory for a grade is insane, especially when its for music. My children are forced to take chorus in 4th grade which is bad enough, however we will never force them to get up in front an audience to perform, so we have already told our kids that we don't care what happens as far as their grades go in music. I really have a problem with the school telling me something is mandatory for my child after the hours of 4PM (but thats a whole other thread). You want to force my kids to perform for school, do it during school hours.
Having said all that, my dd has been on chorus and orchestra for the last 2 years by her choice. When in 5th and they get to decide, its not mandatory (although they have to write an essay why they won't do it ) and if my kids choose to do it they are expected to commit and perform at all afterschool activities.

 

[ncmickeyluvr]

I went to dance competitions for years and found the parents to be generally polite. Almost all of them wait to move around between performances.

The worst that I've seen so far are cheer parents and I'm even talking about parents from my own team. At cheer competitions, you make every effort to sit as a team. There's no problem when our own girls are performing, because we are all sitting together cheering. But so many parents just stand up and have entire conversations standing up, because they assume that since our team isn't performing, no one is interested in seeing any other teams perform.

As for dance recitals. Ours is always an 8 hour affair - there is even a long intermission. They are absolutely counting on everyone leaving once their child performs - otherwise they'd have to rent a hall that is about 5 times larger than the venue they rent.

I agree MOST parents and dancers are courteous and polite....unfortunatley it's always the few who aren't that are most memorable. It's sticking in my mind right now because our competition next weekend is at a venue that is always bad for this.

I also agree on the recitals. Our studio has started to break recital up into parts. They do the younger girls in the afternoon, then have a 1 1/2 hr break then do the older girls. Ofcourse, they do competition dances at both recitals, so we get to stay all day. Rumor is she might do 3 recitals this year....the cute little 3 and 4 year olds always seem to have 20 people each show up to watch them. So cute!

I have not seen this until we did our competitive dance competitions.

I don't mind people coming and going. It is a 12 hour event after all. You aren't expected to stay the entire duration.

What got me--repeated announcements to NOT move during an actual performance that is all of 2 and a half minutes. And countless team families would do this. Ticking off the security.

The teams were specifically sent an e-mail prior to the event about poor sportsmanship when it came to annoucing team winners--if your team is first, do NOT cheer when the 2nd place team is announced and take away from their honor. We were specifically asked by the event organizers to be respectful of all teams and ONLY cheer for your teams success when they are actually announced.

This one competition--lots of teams. And there were still 2 who just wouldn't zip it and they robbed the 2nd place team their opportunity to cheer. IT was just disgusting, especially when their coach was specifically told to not do this. (Evidently everyone else got the memo.)

This was for UDA at Wide World of Sports a few weeks ago. As a whole, the event was fine and most were polite. But it seemed that there were still many people who were above the rules to have to even be considerate of others watching the performances.

I see that alot also and I don't like it either. I've pointed out how it looks to DD so hopefully she'll remember and not let herself get carried away. Our studio usually sends a senior girl onstage for awards to keep track of the younger ones and make sure that they represent their studio appropriately.

 

[jen0610]

I wasn't trying to say people need to be quiet during sporting events, but there's still a limit to disruptiveness.

While I don't have an issue with people talking during sporting events, I have an issue that while you are talking, you not keeping an eye on what is taking place on the ball diamond or rink or your other rugrats that are running around - the 2 examples I have.

In 10 years of baseball and/or softball, I know of at least 15 different times someone ate a foul ball becuase of not paying attention. Sorry, you or your kid got hurt, but if you would have had your eyes on the field, then you would have seen the foul ball coming and you could have moved outta the way, instead of looking up to figure out what everybody was yelling about and taking one on the nose.

Ice Rink - those black things they play with are frozen and hard. And can travel at a pretty darn fast rate of speed. Same mom, two different times. Busy talking not watching the ice at all. I don't care if it just warm ups or not - KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ICE. She took one in her forehead - 10 stitches. Two months later, she busy talking down by the glass, not watching the 4 year old up in the stands. He takes one in the back of the head, knocks him off his feet, bounces down about 4 steps opening up his chin. Thank god the puck had hit the seats before hitting the 4 year old, so it wasn't moving as fast, but he still ended up with stitched in the back of the head and the chin. There wasn't any one really close to him, to try and snatch him outta the way. Felt sorry for him, but not for mom. And she should know better. 4 older kids all play hockey, plus they have tickets to our pro team here.

 

[krcit]

At my dd's middle school graduation the principal made an announcement to please refrain from cheering for your child or clapping until all the names in that section were read. There were 500 kids so you can imagine how long it would take to wait for cheers to dies down between names. I was so mortified for the few kids whose relatives cannot listen to directions. I'm sure they didn't appreciate their dad yelling 'WOOWOO GO JASON"

 

[mjkacmom]

While I don't have an issue with people talking during sporting events, I have an issue that while you are talking, you not keeping an eye on what is taking place on the ball diamond or rink or your other rugrats that are running around - the 2 examples I have.
.

If I'm not watching the game, it's usually because I have an eye on my other kids, who are playing, either in the grass, or at the playground. I can't see how you can keep a good eye on the kids, and never take your eyes off the field.

 

[Arielle22]

My DDs are out of dance but each went 10 years (older one started at 3 yrs oldand younger one at 2 yrs old).

The end of year shows were long (about 3 hours). Younger girls performed one dance and then before the first intermission their finale. Most of them left at that point.

Older girls performed 3 songs plus the grand finale. It used to make me laugh when after a dance was complete you would see women pop up out of their seats to go and assist the girls in changing costumes. You could tell the moms from other people getting up because they got up and walked briskly, knowing exactly where they were going.

At the beginning of the show and at each intermission there was a taped message about only moving around between dances and no cameras or video lighting. There were ushers that would not allow you down into the aisles during the performances. However people would still get up and move around during performances. The performances were taped and you would see the people suddenly blocking part of the performance as they moved.

The grand finale featured girls in the aisles as well as on stage and in front of the stage. Despite a reminder announcement before the finale, every performance a young child would be standing in the aisle and disrupt the performers.

My pet peeve were parents who placed younger children on their laps to see. I understand why it was done but the child would place their head near the adults shoulder which would block my view.

Over the years I have asked people sitting near me to talk quieter (note not be quiet but softer). Parts of the show had a verbal track that I could not hear.

 

[castleview]

I'm usually watching smaller children while the games are going on. But even if I'm free to watch the game, I tend to sit away from the other parents because I can't stand loudness and direction coming from the parents. Don't get me wrong, most of the parents on DD's soccer team are terrific and some are great friends. But I can't stand hearing them yell "GET IN THERE! WATCH THE OFFSIDES! SHOOT! PASS!" I never played soccer (most of us didn't) so why would I tell the kid what to do. Plus, I'm pretty sure the kids are not listening to us.

 

[Hedy]

The worst used to be at Dniece's middle school concerts-there were two middle schools, and the other one would go first, then leave . Finally her school was first, and she informed her mom she was staying becasue she knew what it felt like to have the other kids' families leave. We told my DSIL she is doing something right.

 

[jen0610]

If I'm not watching the game, it's usually because I have an eye on my other kids, who are playing, either in the grass, or at the playground. I can't see how you can keep a good eye on the kids, and never take your eyes off the field.

It's easy....they either sit with you or you go with them and miss seeing the one actually doing an activity, if you don't early on line down the law that this isn't play time. And yes I have two and they have spent many a games sitting with me and DH, wishing they didn't have to. He started playing sports first and she learned very young that we are going to a ball game, not romper room time. It's a time when you get to wacth your brother doing something he likes and cheer him on. She has sat on the bleachers thru many a baseball or basketball game. Neither DH or I stayed home with her or him, just because they didn't feel like going to a game. Unless they were sick or both were scheduled to play at the same time, we went to the games as a family.

And likewise, he has sat thru many a softball and basketball games and dance recitals. She has watched many of yours, now it's your turn to watch her. While he many have grumbled about it, he knew it was his turn to support her. The dance recitals he is ok going to more each year, as he finds more of the girls he goes to school with are also at her dance studio and it's fun to watch them dance and not just his sister.

 

[missypie]

It used to make me laugh when after a dance was complete you would see women pop up out of their seats to go and assist the girls in changing costumes. You could tell the moms from other people getting up because they got up and walked briskly, knowing exactly where they were going.

LOL, did that for years. For several years I had all three kids at recital. I was more exhausted than they were after the recital from all the running around. It was SO nice when they got older and didn't need me to go backstage anymore!

 

[scrapbookworm]

At my DD's dance performance one year, the two women sitting behind me were discussing another person's infertility problems. I cringed when I heard "artificial insemination". I was sitting right beside my dad. Call my uptight, but I don't want to overhear someone gossiping about another person's attempts to conceive, and certainly not while sitting by my father! I do not think that they realized how their voices were carrying- we could understand them very clearly!

 

[MM27]

Something worse than this happens at my daughters school. Every year there is a winter festival concert and the performances are done grade by grade. After every grade is done all the parents from that grade get up and leave. Why not stay and see the whole concert?

By the time it comes to the Grade 6 class they are being watched by only their parents. My family always stays to the end, even when she was in Kindergarten. I feel like telling the leaving parents to stay and watch my kid. I watched theirs

The families at my school do that too. My principal got smart though. We have a stepping club and they are a large group. Everyone stays to see them because they are amazing. He makes them go last now so people stay.