When your child is in a performance or sports event...

[MushyMushy]

would you PLEASE not talk or be disruptive when it's not your kid's turn to perform or play?

This is getting to be such a bad habit where I live! Concerts, games, etc are broken up by grade levels and I'm so sick of sitting quietly through other kids' performances only to have the people sitting around us start talking or messing around when their kid is no longer on stage.

Has anyone else noticed this?

 

[kimblebee]

Something worse than this happens at my daughters school. Every year there is a winter festival concert and the performances are done grade by grade. After every grade is done all the parents from that grade get up and leave. Why not stay and see the whole concert?

By the time it comes to the Grade 6 class they are being watched by only their parents. My family always stays to the end, even when she was in Kindergarten. I feel like telling the leaving parents to stay and watch my kid. I watched theirs

 

[MiniGirl]

Yes. I have noticed it. My girls attend a homeschool science class every week. There are a couple of women there that sit and chat the entire time. Drives me batty. I try to catch their eye, but they are so involved in their conversation they don't notice.

I also noticed it at our VBS the past couple of years. During our morning assembly, it can be difficult to get the kiddos to settle down. We'll try to quiet the sanctuary for announcements and prayer, and the kids do great. It is the parents that won't settle down. I first noticed it a couple of years ago, and it does seem to be getting worse each year.

 

[ncmickeyluvr]

You have obviously not had the pleasure of being at a dance competition. People can't even wait to move around between performances. They walk around and talk and do whatever right in the middle of a dance. I make sure that DD knows to never enter or exit the performance area while music is playing.....and to take the first available seat when it does!

 

[kacaju]

Something worse than this happens at my daughters school. Every year there is a winter festival concert and the performances are done grade by grade. After every grade is done all the parents from that grade get up and leave. Why not stay and see the whole concert?

By the time it comes to the Grade 6 class they are being watched by only their parents. My family always stays to the end, even when she was in Kindergarten. I feel like telling the leaving parents to stay and watch my kid. I watched theirs

same thing used to happen at our school concerts, then this year they had all the kids sing one last song so all HAD to stay. It was great... I too was one that always stayed to the end!!

 

[Sleepy]

Dance issues.........

Turn off cell phones

Turn off your video camera screens (people behind you are being blinded)

Leave the gameboys at home (screens issues there too)

TURN OFF THE FLASHES TO YOUR CAMERA! Seriously! The kids on stage are looking out into total darkness and your flash blinds them, potentially knocking them off balance and causing injury.

Leave the toddlers at home. You might think they are cute running up and down the aisle trying to dance like those on stage, but when they fall down and scream, it just isn't fair to the other parents trying to watch their kid on stage.

Off my soapbox.

 

[powellrj]

Its strange, the worst was when my kids use to go to a private Christian School. People would talk, get up and leave, stand so you couldn't see.

That was really the worst we ever had it. I was surprised the school didn't do more to control the crowd.

 

[MushyMushy]

Dance issues.........

Turn off cell phones

Turn off your video camera screens (people behind you are being blinded)

Leave the gameboys at home (screens issues there too)

TURN OFF THE FLASHES TO YOUR CAMERA! Seriously! The kids on stage are looking out into total darkness and your flash blinds them, potentially knocking them off balance and causing injury.

Leave the toddlers at home. You might think they are cute running up and down the aisle trying to dance like those on stage, but when they fall down and scream, it just isn't fair to the other parents trying to watch their kid on stage.

Off my soapbox.

Oh I hear you all about dance recitals! Yes, that was horrible with people only staying for their own kids' performances. At least wait until between dances to get up, but no, people would get up in the middle of acts and drive the rest of us nuts. So rude.

Similar to what you said about the toddlers, yesterday we were at my daughter's volleyball game. Now, it was in a gym and this gym doesn't have standard seating, so kids are able to get up and run around a little more. These people a few seats in front of us were letting their kids run rampant, and they'd come and jump right on the bleacher we were sitting on. At one point I told my husband we should move down and sit beside the mother because the kids weren't bothering her.

I was spot on. As soon as we sat by the mother, no more kids jumping around us.

 

[PatsGirl]

And we wonder why so many children are lacking proper social skills You only know what you learn.

 

[just4today]

I hear ya OP. Drives me crazy too I attribute it to the general erosion of manners due to increase in people's entitlement attitudes and beliefs that their time is more valuable than others', i.e. "I'm too busy to stay for the whole show. I have to get home and (fill in the blank)."

 

[mjkacmom]

Well, I understand activities such as plays, concerts, and dance - during dd13's last play, this mom and child kept up an entire conversation behind us, and we were in the 3rd row. I was videotaping her concert choir, and people behind us were also talking - maybe they didn't notice my camera? I captured their conversation forever. Most of the concerts here have a group finale, to ensure everyone stays. With sporting events, everyone just talks. My boys play baseball, basketball, soccer, and flag football, and ds11 is on at least 3 teams per season. We watch, but everyone in the bleachers socialize at the same time.

 

[jen0610]

Something worse than this happens at my daughters school. Every year there is a winter festival concert and the performances are done grade by grade. After every grade is done all the parents from that grade get up and leave. Why not stay and see the whole concert?

By the time it comes to the Grade 6 class they are being watched by only their parents. My family always stays to the end, even when she was in Kindergarten. I feel like telling the leaving parents to stay and watch my kid. I watched theirs

And in responce to this trend, since attendance at the concerts is part of the grade, the school sends home a form stating that your child must stay until the end of the concert. If they are not there for the attendance check at the end of the concert, NO CREDIT will be given for the concert. It took a couple of years for it to get through the heads of the parents.

Now, like the OP stated, if they could only get them to shut the heck up. Loved our new principal in grade school. He came out before any of the kids sang and told those there that out of respect for all on stage refrain from yelling out your childs name or talking during the time that the kids were on the stage. The show would be stopped and not contiune until people could control themselves. Before the K kids could even sing the first note, 10 different families shout out Go Nick, Love Ya Jojo. He let the K kids sing their 2 songs, but the 1st graders weren't coming out. He walks out, takes the mic and said Let me repeat myself. If there is ANY YELLING singling out of a student, then your student will be pulled from the stage, you will not get to see and hear them perform and they will receive NO CREDIT for this performance. The greater part of the guests applauded him. The lady behind me muttered, just let him try it. Well when her 5th grade daughter came out and they hollered her name, she didn't even get one foot on the riser, she walked straight across the stage and out the other side. You would have thought by the 5th grade and seeing that he wasn't playing around, when he had 12 1st graders, then 7 2nd graders, then 10 3rd graders, ZERO 4th graders taken off the stage, that they would have gotten a clue, he isn't going to try it, he's going to do it.

Those with the "It's all about me and mine" ruin a good time for all. So far, middle school is so much nicer. Since DS 6th grade year, we have been to 8 concerts for him and now his sister and there have been zero shout outs.

 

[KAMLEM]

With sporting events, everyone just talks. My boys play baseball, basketball, soccer, and flag football, and ds11 is on at least 3 teams per season. We watch, but everyone in the bleachers socialize at the same time.

That's how it is at my daughters' games, too. I don't see any need to be quiet during a sporting event, it's not as if you need to hear the players. I do get frustrated with the little kids running up and down the bleachers. My DD plays varsity basketball and the JV game is always before the varsity game. The JV players are required to stay for the varsity game and they are more aggravating than the little kids. They all sit together on the top bleacher, but they are up and down CONSTANTLY throughout the game. It's so annoying. By the end of the season I was sitting over on the away team bleachers because it drove me crazy.

 

[jrmasm]

So I'm not crazy to be frustrated when 40 people walk through my DD's indoor soccer game?

 

[golfgal]

Most sporting events are different. I certainly wouldn't expect people to be quiet at a basketball game by any means, concerts and recitals are another thing.

We don't have too big of an issue now that the kids are in high school, elementary school was a different story though.

When DS was in dance, he danced in 2 different routines for a total of about 5 minutes on stage. The dang recital lasted 3 1/2 hours. We did NOT stay for the whole thing but everyone was good about coming and going between performances. You were not allowed to take pictures or video tape at all so that isn't an issue.

 

[Piglets Mommy]

The thing that really annoys me is when adulds are making fun of some of the kids. Not every kid is a wonderful dancer, singer, etc, but they want to get up there and try. At DD's dance recital last year, this lady behind me (looked like she was in her 60's, so old enough to know better) made fun of at least 1 kid in each group. If she said something about my child, might have turned around and decked her (I'll be the first to admit that she doesn't have a career in dance to look forward to, but it was just the lack of respect that this is someone's child you are talking about) It seems like we have a few of these at every concert or sporting events lately.

 

[MushyMushy]

I wasn't trying to say people need to be quiet during sporting events, but there's still a limit to disruptiveness.

 

[missypie]

You have obviously not had the pleasure of being at a dance competition. People can't even wait to move around between performances. They walk around and talk and do whatever right in the middle of a dance. I make sure that DD knows to never enter or exit the performance area while music is playing.....and to take the first available seat when it does!

I went to dance competitions for years and found the parents to be generally polite. Almost all of them wait to move around between performances.

The worst that I've seen so far are cheer parents and I'm even talking about parents from my own team. At cheer competitions, you make every effort to sit as a team. There's no problem when our own girls are performing, because we are all sitting together cheering. But so many parents just stand up and have entire conversations standing up, because they assume that since our team isn't performing, no one is interested in seeing any other teams perform.

As for dance recitals. Ours is always an 8 hour affair - there is even a long intermission. They are absolutely counting on everyone leaving once their child performs - otherwise they'd have to rent a hall that is about 5 times larger than the venue they rent.

 

[NotUrsula]

I think that a big part of this trend is the bizarre expectation that both of a child's parents should attend EVERY game or performance that the child participates in. Naturally people want to move on after their child's performance if they feel that attending is something they were forced to do.

My opinion is that if -- for whatever reason -- you are not prepared to stay for the entire event, if you cannot keep your mouth shut during a theatrical or musical performance), if you cannot keep your butt in your seat unless you have to visit the toilet, or if you cannot keep your camera lights OFF, then just don't go. Your kids will secretly thank you for it.

I was in all kinds of theatrical and musical performances when I was a child. I think my parents attended maybe 3 of them. That was totally fine with me, because I wasn't doing it for them, I was doing it for me, and I could not see the audience anyway, so I would not have even noticed if they were there.

I guarantee you that children DO NOT want to acknowledge the presence of a parent who is behaving in an embarassing fashion -- having your parent make a fool of him- or herself by yelling out your name while you are on stage is horribly distracting and just makes you want to sink beneath the floor.

 

[PeterPan09]

Anyone been to a swim meet??? Yikes, those puppies last forever and your child might be involved for about a minute. My parents got a lot of reading done in those years!