When to make unwilling kid ride?

[itchin2go]

For me, I feel like forcing a very scared child on a ride is down right dangerous. You don't know what they'll do in a panic, stand up on the ride? try to get off? You never know. I make my kids go to the dentist, sleep in their own beds etc. but a ride? No

Yeah - I vaguely recall a thread about a scared kid trying to get off Splash Mountain, and the ride having to be evacuated/shut down for a period.

Again, for clarification, there's a difference between talking someone into something, coaxing someone, encouraging someone, negotiating with someone VS. forcing someone to do something they don't want to do. If the child is ultimately a willing participant at the time you board a ride, that is one thing. If the child is not a willing participant, I think that's a recipe for disaster - in many ways and for all involved. And the risks are not worth the reward.

 

[2manypets]

Uh, no, she has not been permanently traumatized.

So after 2 years, she now "bursts into tears" at the thought or suggestion she go on the ride? HHMMM

 

[cakebaker]

Awesome! All that matters is that we all find what works for our families and it sounds like you have a great rhythm! I just wanted to add that I totally agree with the above! We absolutely believe that the adults are held to the same standard as the kiddo. I have a burning dislike of Winnie the Pooh and the Jungle Cruise but I ride every time because my daughter and husband love it!

I see a difference between riding Pooh and RRC or TOT. lol

My daughters despise IASW. That and PPF are my 2 favorites- just for the tradition of it all. They ride with me and my grandson because they want to see him experience these rides. It doesn't have to be the ride itself that you enjoy. So as I said, it's just whoever wants to ride for whatever reason they have.

 

[theSurlyMermaid]

If I never told my daughter she had to do something she was scared to do and didn't want to try, she would be missing out on so much that she now loves -- dancing on stage, eating cotton candy, playing soccer, riding on POC and Star Tours, going to a friend's house by herself, riding a two-wheeler, water skiing, meeting Mickey Mouse. Some kids need a nudge. And no I'm not going to ruin my vacation or hers by forcing her sobbing body into a roller coaster, and I'm not making her do anything that I know she would find truly terrifying (e.g., SP, RnR, TOT, EE, HM, to name a few). We split up a ton on our trips, because my son loves all those, and I get to ride on them plenty, so this is not about whether I get to ride. Rather, it's about what's good for her, and trying new things is good for her, even if she's a little scared. And if she still hates it after one try, then she doesn't have to do it again (well, maybe not until the next trip, when she's a little older and braver....)

What a great post! I completely agree with every word and it is my philosophy too.

I asked my daughter what her favorite ride was today and she answered Mine Train. She rode it twice last week and asked to go on it a third time (but with an 100 minute wait that unfortunately couldn't happen). She asks to see the ride video all the time. Yet she kicked up a real fuss before we got on it the first time. I'm sure that people were judging my husband and I but we know her and we know what she'll like. ALL she was doing leading up to the trip was talk about the Mine Train and "practice" riding it on her scooter. Also, we had to ride it right then and there because of fast pass. If I waited till she decided to go we would have been in an 100 minute line which would never happen. (Talk about traumatized, I waited 80 minutes for Peter Pan! THAT's a never again!)

 

[woodynjessiesmomma]

As a kid my dad convinced me to go on a rollercoaster with an upside down loop. I was scared to death and I remember him showing me with a cup of water how I wouldn't fall out. He didn't make me go, but he worked hard to convince me to go on it. I bumped my head due to all the jarring motion, but otherwise I loved it and to this day I am a rollercoaster fanatic. Spinning rides, not so much as I don't enjoy puking.
So that is my approach with my kids. Reassure them, try to understand the fear, but not push them. ODS wanted to ride ToT at 5yo at DL and he liked the drops but not the ghosts. At first he said he would be brave enough once he is 7 and now that we are going he's a little unsure. I have FP's but if he really doesn't want to once we are there we will back out. Once we enter the queue though he has to stick to it.

 

[Maddysdaddy]

You Tube has been a gift for my 11 year old daughter when it comes to rides that she has been reticent to go on. While watching ride-thrus removes the surprise element from the ride, it gives her power over her fears by allowing her to know what to expect - for her, it is the fear of the unknown that does her in.

It worked for Everest a few years ago, which is now her favorite ride, and it worked for Space on our last trip.

We've now been watching videos of ToT and California Screamin' for our upcoming trip to DL and, especially with Screamin', she's now at the point where she's saying "that actually doesn't look bad at all - the loop and drop are actually over super quick", which is a much better option than us hitting the park, walking over to CS, standing outside it staring up at the loop and big drop, and having her psych herself out.

The biggest change for us was two years ago when we were booked on DCL and had a port day in St. Thomas. One of the excursions was zip lining down a mountain, which I figured there was zero chance of us going on. We watched multiple videos online of people who had go-pro'd the experience, and once she saw all the safety procedures and people of all ages having a blast, she got up the nerve to say 'yes, let's do it', and she ended up having a blast (my wife, who hates heights, not so much). I don't think she realized at the time that from that point forward, every time nerves start to get the best of her on anything, my wife and I would come back at her with "You zip-lined down a mountain. If you can do that, you can do anything."

 

[cakebaker]

Yeah - I vaguely recall a thread about a scared kid trying to get off Splash Mountain, and the ride having to be evacuated/shut down for a period.

Again, for clarification, there's a difference between talking someone into something, coaxing someone, encouraging someone, negotiating with someone VS. forcing someone to do something they don't want to do. If the child is ultimately a willing participant at the time you board a ride, that is one thing. If the child is not a willing participant, I think that's a recipe for disaster - in many ways and for all involved. And the risks are not worth the reward.

I'm pretty sure no one these days would get away with putting a screaming kid on a ride. CM's are pretty good about stopping that. But we've probably all seen it more than once- the parent in line wanting to ride some ride the kid is desperate not to ride. I've heard everything from out and out lying to them about the ride, to name calling ( big baby, chicken, etc) to threatening to use corporal punishment if they have to leave the line.

There's plenty of opportunity in life to teach kids they're going to have to do something they don't want to do. I don't need to do it at WDW.

 

[itchin2go]

I'm pretty sure no one these days would get away with putting a screaming kid on a ride. CM's are pretty good about stopping that. But we've probably all seen it more than once- the parent in line wanting to ride some ride the kid is desperate not to ride. I've heard everything from out and out lying to them about the ride, to name calling ( big baby, chicken, etc) to threatening to use corporal punishment if they have to leave the line.

There's plenty of opportunity in life to teach kids they're going to have to do something they don't want to do. I don't need to do it at WDW.

Well, that's different too. Berating or insulting someone to get them to do what you want is a poor parenting tactic, IMO.

I guess there's a spectrum of behaviors ranging from 100% do-what-you-want-and-nothing-more all the way to physically forcing someone to do something they don't want to do ... and lots of stuff in between. The berating and insulting is way far down towards the "forcing someone" end. Having the child watch a youtube video to see if they want to give the ride a chance is way far toward the other end. The closer it gets to forcing someone to do something they don't want to do, the more it rubs me the wrong way.

I am an anxious person by nature, and if I were in some of these families where people have to ride ... it just seems awful to me. In theory, DisneyWorld should be all fun. Forcing me to do something I'm terrified of is the opposite of fun.

 

[juliekzp]

So after 2 years, she now "bursts into tears" at the thought or suggestion she go on the ride? HHMMM

I think I know her better than you do, but thank you for your concern.

 

[Summertinkerbell]

Curious how others handle kids who are scared to ride. I made my scaredy-cat daughter (probably age 6 at the time) go on Thunder Mountain a couple times - no loud crying, just a pouty face and a little pitiful whimpering. I truly thought (and still think) that she would like it if she just tried. Then when she was almost 8 I tried to get her to ride it again, but she burst into tears, so I didn't make her. But I've already told her that she's trying 7DMT next time, despite her protests (she'll be almost 9), so she has 6 months to get used to the idea .

What do you do? No judging each other please! Keep just keep about your own approach!

I don't believe in forcing my child to do anything, especially a theme park ride. I wouldn't want her to resent me.

We do a tremendous amount of research before a trip, and if a new ride seems like fun to her, she will ride it. A few trips ago, she was all set to go on Rockin' Roller Coaster, and at the last minute, changed her mind. I wouldn't want someone forcing me, so I think it would be pretty mean to force her.

 

[Bullseye]

We've always put a mild amount of pressure on our kids to try rides, but they are usually rides that they could have been riding several years earlier. I don't want them to continually hide in their shells and grow up to be adults that are terrified of thrill rides. We've never outright forced them on anything, but we do try convince them "everything will be all right, if you don't like it just close your eyes."

Just like learning to overcome fear of the swimming pool, diving board, bike riding, skiing, toboggan slide, horseback riding etc, you have to give things a chance. I really feel like WDW is one place where the rides are so tame (even the big ones) that most kids should feel pretty relaxed going there as opposed to Six Flags or Cedar Point.

Admittedly, I've never tried to get them to go on Summit Plummet because even the 'old man' won't do that one

 

[Summertinkerbell]

Never. Let them realize they're a wuss when they're ready. Most likely peer pressure will work better than parental encouragement.

Not wanting to go on a theme park ride does not make someone a "wuss." Some people have motion sickness.

 

[theSurlyMermaid]

Peer pressure is what did it for me. Been a coaster lover since I was 13 and went to King's Dominion with my best friend.

 

[Lisaloo]

When? When you choose to be a bully instead of a parent.

 

[Wes1stTrip2016]

No forcing but certainly will encourage him to give them a try and hopefully help him understand what to expect.

Our DS is 4 1/2 will turn 5 the week we get home from Disney.

Perfect example, this past weekend we were at a local water park that has 2 (5 story) water slides. We asked if he wanted to try them and got a resounding NO, lol. After some time of floating around the lazy river and him watching the other kids he asked if they were "fast" and I explained that they were faster than the slide at our favorite playground but that's because the water helped you slide down. He then wanted to know if the red one or yellow one was faster (one was enclosed and one was open) and I told him I thought the yellow one would be slower then the red one (I truly had no clue and ended up being wrong). Right that second, he said "I wanna try"....so up we went, he did not hesitate at all, he squealed all the way to the bottom where his Daddy was waiting and the first thing he said was "I want to do that again"!! LOL

He loves the carnival rides, so I hold out hope that Disney will be a blast! We will start with Dumbo, the Carousel and PeterPan, then FP+ for BTMR, 7DMT & Splash!

 

[jtowntoflorida]

I should also add that all 4 of us had a big fear of ToT. This was pretty much me watching it:

But on a trip last year, we decided as a family were going to conquer our ToT fear and all ride it. Part of this is because I did want to serve as an example to my kids...I wanted to show them that I could confront my fear of certain rides just like I ask them to. So we went on it, I didn't think it was all that bad, and the other three members of the family hated it. LOL.

Since I enjoyed it, but don't enjoy riding anything alone, I'll probably try to talk one of the kids (i.e., bribe) into doing it once with me in October, because that's how I roll. But if no one will do it with me, then I'll just skip it. Riding alone would make me a sad panda.

 

[hakepb]

Never

You have to understand your child.

If we listened to DS6 (when BTMRR was his favorite ride) he would not have tried EE.... We knew he liked "fast", and sure enough, he loved EE, it was instantly his new, favorite ride.

But, I wouldn't take a kid that hated BTMRR on EE, because there is obviously something more than the fear of trying something new.

 

[Summertinkerbell]

That isn't funny, nor is it necessary.

 

[yankeepenny]

I just really hate it when parents try this pressure in the line for the ride, and then a flip out happens, and we all are subject to the situation. GET OUT OF THE LINE AND OUT OF SITE with the upset child and try reasoning. with either you or the kid or both screaming it does no good. and, I do not want to hear it.

 

[Lisaloo]

You have to understand your child.

If we listened to DS6 (when BTMRR was his favorite ride) he would not have tried EE.... We knew he liked "fast", and sure enough, he loved EE, it was instantly his new, favorite ride.

But, I wouldn't take a kid that hated BTMRR on EE, because there is obviously something more than the fear of trying something new.

Explaining it to your kid and encouraging them is different than forcing them. We saw some disgusting behavior on two different days last month. Once for ToT where a mother wouldn't leave the line with her crying daughter because she wanted to ride it and once where 2 kids were crying in the line for dinosaur and another mother refused to listen. We have never forced a child to ride.