When should my kid enter kindergarten???? HELP!

[K and K's Mommy]

I guess I didn't realize Indiana's cut off was so early. It is August 1, but you can waive them until September 1. My DD is August 29, but we never really thought about waiving her to kindergarten. The preschool teacher said she was ready, but I have an August birthday myself and hated being the youngest. I was lucky that I had a great set of friends who drove me around when I was 15, but I still hated being the only one without my license. It was equally hard in college not being 21 yet. Now I will be the last to turn 40, and I will milk it for all it is worth!!

My DD will finally enter K this fall. She is already reading, but I am okay with that. Our school system does a great job of individualizing instruction. Hopefully we have set her up to be a leader, and we are the parents who will set the initial rules for dating, driving, etc.

 

[surfgirl]

Have you thought about talking to the school?

I just got back from 'movin'-up day' - where kids meet the next grade level's teachers. My daughter, as a new student to that school NEXT fall, was invited. The parents sat and heard from the principal, reading specialist, and guidance counselor (they have a full time guidance counselor for elementary schools).

One of the parent's questions was about holding back a child and asking them to repeat first grade. The GC said they deal with kids with summer birthdays all the time who come in and they help the parent make a decision. They also document this in a letter in that child's file -- so later on they know why that child's birthdate and class year don't coincide.

I guess before "I" made that decision, I would want some input from teachers (what do they think?), and other experts who know other kids and developmentally what is going on.

 

[Del]

Our school district does an assessment the summer prior to going to K. Why not sign your child up for K.....see how the assessment goes (if your district has one). You can always add another year of preschool if they believe the child isn't ready.

Del

 

[MomNeedsVacay]

Our school district does an assessment the summer prior to going to K. Why not sign your child up for K.....see how the assessment goes (if your district has one). You can always add another year of preschool if they believe the child isn't ready.

Del

The problem is that I have to make a decision shortly going into the next school year. Our Preschool and the private school for Kindergarten both require very early admissions (up to 8 months ahead of the next school year!) Both require hefty non-refundable deposits as well!

Let me throw in another curve ball.... three dear friends of mine have children that are older, yet in the same school year. THese children have all played together since birth. They get along well and we all plan to send our kids to the same private school. This means our DD would be young, but at least she would have friends she knows/likes in her class. (Only one class per grade). Should this be a factor in deciding whether to hold her back or push her forward? I'm sorry if this doesn't make sense.

 

[seawitch0313]

My youngest has an April bday and I was worried about sending him because he's very shy socially. His brothers teacher made me feel better tho, cause she said 'You could always send him and if he doesn't do well he can repeat.' That made me feel loads better. And he will be heading to first grade next year He went in knowing all his colors, now he can *spell* them all and he can do the alphabet backwards (which I think is freaking amazing!)
You be the judge of your boy, but do know if you send him you can always hold him back if he's really not ready.

 

[dwaddict]

My ds has an August birthday, he was the youngest in his kindergarten class not turning 5 until school had been in session almost 3 weeks. We were told we could pull him out and it would be ok. I felt like he would eventually get the hang of it and be ok. Well, he did not and had to do kindergarten again. Now I wish I would have pulled him out and just sent him back to pre-school. He now loves school, and even with all his set backs and disabillities he is a honor roll student. I just really wished I would not have made him go that first year, he was not ready. It was stressful on all involved. Us, him, his teachers.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

My youngest has an April bday and I was worried about sending him because he's very shy socially. His brothers teacher made me feel better tho, cause she said 'You could always send him and if he doesn't do well he can repeat.' That made me feel loads better. And he will be heading to first grade next year He went in knowing all his colors, now he can *spell* them all and he can do the alphabet backwards (which I think is freaking amazing!)
You be the judge of your boy, but do know if you send him you can always hold him back if he's really not ready.

I also have a DS with an April birthday. Holding my son back when he went to grade school was something we wanted to avoid. IMOP, in pre-school its no big deal, they are really too young to know the difference. Once the kids get into grade school, they know their friends are going on and they aren't.

We held our son back at the advice of his pre-school teacher. He just turned 9 and completed 2nd grade today. yea he's older , almost 17 months older than some in his class. But he never struggles. He came home with straight A' s and is a very popular, outgoing, confident child.

DH and I sought out advice from many people in the teaching business and all said if there is a doubt, hold them back..I know a couple people who refused to keep their kids back and no they aren't flunking but study twice as hard to make just descent grades.

Now DD's birthday is September 28 and our cut-off is September 1st. She had no choice but to wait. She is more than ready. She already knows her colors , letters and can print her name. She's start 3 yo pre-school this September and can't wait to go.

Good luck in your decision.

 

[csss31399]

My son's bday is in June. I did not want to send him to kindergarten last year when he had just turned five. He's small. I talked to his preschool teachers and they said he was ready to go and they would tell me if he weren't. It was two weeks before school started and he wasn't enrolled in kindergarten. I changed my mind. I sent him. He is small, but he's also smart. He would have been really bored in preschool another year. His kindergarten teacher knew of my hesitancy, and she always assured me of his leadership in the class and his great performance. He got several awards at the end of the year and he can read. I mean really read. Wow. I think each situation is unique and the parents and teachers really do know best. Best wishes in your decision.

 

[Barb D]

Without having read the rest of the responses:

DD-then-4 had ZERO interest in learning her letters, etc., and a very short attention span. Her pre-school teacher recommended that we hold her back. I took her to be assessed by the K team at the elementary school, and they agreed that it would benefit her to have another year.

We found an excellent TRANSITIONAL K (TK) program, which was basically Kindergarten light. It was specifically designed for kids who were old enough for K but not quite ready.

When she went to PS K the following year, she was right on target.

I would see if you can get assessed by her future school, and if they think she should wait find a preschool or TK program for her.

 

[estherhead]

My daughter is 16 months younger than the eldest student in her class & I wouldn't have it any other way. She was still the smartest, calmest kid and has little to no stress about social issues.

I went & had her tested prior to entering her & had a conference with the principal & he said to go ahead & start her. She'll be in 2nd grade this year. It was the best decision for sure.

Her cousin who is three weeks older than her was held back & will go into 1st grade this year. Her mother said it was the best decision she ever made to hold her back & she is a lot more confident in her acheivements. She is a smart little girl too, but not as self-contained as my daughter.

So as you can see, this is the same family, best friend cousins, 3 weeks apart in age & different decisions were needed for each personality. I'd call the school & request a meeting with a teacher/principal/literacy coordinator to have them help you make such an important decision.

My SIL & I both agree calling the school & requesting a meeting was actually the best decision we ever made. Don't try to decide alone! My next kid will be 5.5 when she starts in September & I wouldn't have wanted to start her at 4.9, that is for sure! She would not have been ready.

 

[susie19]

I have twin girls that have a September birthday, but were six weeks premature.(thier b-day should have been mid october) I sent them on "time" (4 turning 5 that month) and they were fine unitll this year in 3rd grade. They are not failing, but struggling. I have talked to the child study team at school and asked about holding them back this year, they woulden't recomend it, because they are not failing and they think that it would be to tramatic for them. We are going to push ahead to 4th, but I am worried that they will continue to struggle. I wish I would have kept them back that extra year.

 

[pyrxtc]

What about letting him attend Kindergarten and if he's nto ready for 1st grade, then let him do Kinder agian. Here in NH Kinder is not even required. A lot of towns don't offer it publicly. I never sent my kids to preschool and they all loved Kinder. they had never been away from me so long, no daycare, nothing. they made a lot of friends and learned fast.

Also speaking as a September birthday. I never cared that most evryone was older than me. As a matter of fact, I had a lot of friends who were about my same age all thru school.

 

[stacy6552]

We have a Sept baby. We held him back a year and don't regret where he is now. However, I do wish we had started Kindergarten on time and repeated it. Our school has so many resourses that would have been available to him, that were not at preschool. For instance, he would have tested lower for reading and may have been eligeble for reading support, and then been ahead of the game when he repeated K the next year. Don't underesitmate the benefits of education specialists that might be available to a struggling, younger child.

 

[brymolmom]

And I, for one, don't think it should be. IMO - the decision should be removed from parents - a state/district should choose a cutoff - whatever that might be (make them all earlier if that will make people happy) - and then - if you're born before it - you go, if you're born on or after it - you wait till next year. This option provides the one thing many of the posts in this thread crave...an equal playing field for their child. NOTE - if there is an actual delay in some area in which professional assistance is being provided - this could allow a 'medical' holding back. But for those who just choose it because they want their kid to be older, know more academically, know more socially, be bigger for sports, to be a leader...I don't think it should be a choice.

What happens is that everyone starts holding their kids back - and then the teacher is put into a position to teach 4 year olds and 6 year olds in the same classroom. Difficult for the teacher? Yes. However, since it was the choice of the 6 year old parents to hold their children back with the intent that they would know more than others in the class - the teacher SHOULD only focus resources on the 4 year olds and 5 year olds - the ones going on time. OF COURSE 6 year olds will know more, be reading more, be doing more math...they've had a year plus more learning that the 4 year olds...however, here in NY 12/1 is the cutoff, and the curriculum should be focused on those that are going 'on time'.

And, where does it end? The August b-days will be held back, then the June/July b-days are now the youngest...then they get held back - now the April and May kids are held back...then they are youngest and the parents don't want that - so now Feb and March kids are held back....and so on - it's endless.

It does upset me while at the same time I totally understand why parents do it (no one wants the uncertainty of sending their child to school on their own for the first time) - because...it is because of parents who are sending their children on time that the kids of those held back actually get the 'benefits' - if everyone held their kids back for a year - your Sept b-day children would still be the youngest in the class. So you have those of us who send our kids on time to thank for it.

The decision should be removed from it. 4 year olds going on time should not suffer due to a teacher having to deal with 6 year olds in the classroom at the same time.

I think this will continue to be a debate until something changes.

Good luck with your decision.

 

[MomNeedsVacay]

And I, for one, don't think it should be. IMO - the decision should be removed from parents - a state/district should choose a cutoff - whatever that might be (make them all earlier if that will make people happy) - and then - if you're born before it - you go, if you're born on or after it - you wait till next year. This option provides the one thing many of the posts in this thread crave...an equal playing field for their child. NOTE - if there is an actual delay in some area in which professional assistance is being provided - this could allow a 'medical' holding back. But for those who just choose it because they want their kid to be older, know more academically, know more socially, be bigger for sports, to be a leader...I don't think it should be a choice.

What happens is that everyone starts holding their kids back - and then the teacher is put into a position to teach 4 year olds and 6 year olds in the same classroom. Difficult for the teacher? Yes. However, since it was the choice of the 6 year old parents to hold their children back with the intent that they would know more than others in the class - the teacher SHOULD only focus resources on the 4 year olds and 5 year olds - the ones going on time. OF COURSE 6 year olds will know more, be reading more, be doing more math...they've had a year plus more learning that the 4 year olds...however, here in NY 12/1 is the cutoff, and the curriculum should be focused on those that are going 'on time'.

And, where does it end? The August b-days will be held back, then the June/July b-days are now the youngest...then they get held back - now the April and May kids are held back...then they are youngest and the parents don't want that - so now Feb and March kids are held back....and so on - it's endless.

It does upset me while at the same time I totally understand why parents do it (no one wants the uncertainty of sending their child to school on their own for the first time) - because...it is because of parents who are sending their children on time that the kids of those held back actually get the 'benefits' - if everyone held their kids back for a year - your Sept b-day children would still be the youngest in the class. So you have those of us who send our kids on time to thank for it.

The decision should be removed from it. 4 year olds going on time should not suffer due to a teacher having to deal with 6 year olds in the classroom at the same time.

I think this will continue to be a debate until something changes.

Good luck with your decision.

I agree with you--- I wish EVERYONE would send their kids whenever the cutoff is. But because people don't do that and hold their kids back, I, too feel the need to hold my kid back... I don't want my kid to be the lone 4 year old in a classroom with a bunch of 6 year olds. I don't want her or myself to be essentially penalized for following the rules.
If she had been born on time (she is a preemie by 5 weeks), this would be a non-issue.
I get knots in my stomach when I think about it all.

 

[maroogreen]

As an educator who works at all campuses, I believe in a delayed start for most boys. As a general guideline, boys lag behind in social skills and attention skills while girls are more oriented towards a classroom setting. In Texas, the cutoff is August 31. I would delay my sons automatically if they had summer b-days. My oldest's birthday is at the end of May. I wanted to hold him back but did not because he is very advanced academically. However, we have revisited this every year for the past four years. Hindsight: I would have held him. His social skills and his size are outpaced by boys 9 months older than him although he has no trouble academically. Other skills, though, like organization, conflict resolution, etc., still lag. But now there is a social stigma attached to being left behind your peers.

Further, I can pick out (with about a 95% success rate) the older boys in a high school class. Traditionally, they are calmer, more mature, more resistant to peer pressure and lead by example. IMHO, how you get along and work with others is much more important in life than how intelligent you are (above the norm).

With girls, the difference is not noticeable by 1st grade or so. Please know that these are just generalizations. I wouldn't worry about a daughter young for her grade, but would about a son. My two cents.

 

[ycnan]

I sent my Oct bday kids (cut off is Dec 1) and don't regret it, I do know some that said they held theirs back and they are bored in school because they were ready on-time but the parents were unsure.

It could go either way, i do not regret our decision. They actually say in better written articles that they perform at the same pace/level.

Read more much more and don't rely on one thing.

There are also problems associated with puberty and being the oldest in the class and going through it first.

It all depends on your child.

 

[emdav]

I held ds back and he has an April birthday. He will start kindergarten on August 1st and is six years old. Ds has autism and I really think we made the best choice for him. His language skills are now in the normal range, his attention span is improving, and he can read, do basic math, etc. A year ago, he could not write because of fine motor development issues. It would have been a disaster and a tantrum to have him do a worksheet. He can now write well enough to decipher his writing. That alone was worth holding him back.

 

[karliebug]

I don't agree that by middle school the differences aren't important. In fact I think that is one of the most compelling reasons to hold your child back a year. As the youngest in the class, everyone else will develop first, date first, be able to drive first, etc. Plus, to stand up to peer pressure your child will need every ounce of maturity they can muster. I have taught kindergarten for 5 years and first grade for 18 years. Give your child the gift of time. Childhood should be a journey,not a race.

 

[karliebug]

If she had been born on time (she is a preemie by 5 weeks), this would be a non-issue.
I get knots in my stomach when I think about it all. [/QUOTE]



If she was a preemie, I think I definitely would hold her out but that is just my opinion.