When Planning a Wedding.......

[Lucille1963]

Also wanted to add a little centerpiece love...

The last wedding we attended had INCREDIBLE centerpieces that were handmade by the groom (an artist by profession). I think everyone there went from table to table to admire them (each was different) and I've never seen such a scramble to get to be the one to take them home. It was a feeding frenzy!

Though I didn't take one home, it is one of the things I remember about the wedding.

 

[blessedby3]

IMO, yes (although of course it's possible that I've received handmade invitations that I had no idea were handmade because they did look professional). I've gotten a couple DIY invitations that, to be honest, looked like elementary school craft projects. It didn't bother me as much as make me feel sorry for the bride - the invitation is one of the few parts of a wedding that lasts, because you'll keep one the rest of your life. I could imagine the girl looking at the thing in 25 years and thinking, "why on earth did I think I should glue a couple pieces of colored paper together and call it a wedding invitation?!" Keep in mind that making your own invites is also VERY timeconsuming - a friend of mine made her own with 2 bridesmaids, and it took them FOREVER.

OMG, I wasn't thinking handmade! I was thinking they could be made on the computer with heavy cardstock or something. Honestly I just didn't know if it could even be done.

We made DD's at home with a DIY kit from Michaels. They have tons to choose from...some look cheaper, others look nicer. My dd's were just beautiful and we had lots of compliments on them. We used the 40% off coupons on each box. Bought 5 boxes of 30 and spent right at $100. They included everything you would need including a template, resoponse cards, etc. We had a great time making them.
We also bought our programs there with the coupons. We got 150 programs for $15 and printed them ourselves
We also found lots of great ideas on Etsy, and my DH, DD and I made so many of these things for so much cheaper.
For our DD4 (flower girl) we saw a wooden box flower girl box that had a grapevine wreath handle. Bought the supplies at Michaels/AC Moore and made the $45 Etsy flower girl box for $10.
Here is a link to the Etsy one (I dont have a pic of ours uploaded, but it is the exact same)
http://www.etsy.com/listing/9582458...in=0&ga_max=0&ga_ref=auto1&ga_search_type=all

Just realize that there are so many things you can do, that you wouldnt think you could and that will save you lots!

 

[kirstenb1]

I think you will need to check with the venue for bringing in the alcohol. If you're going to a restaurant / club that will be providing the food in house, I think you can't bring alcohol in because of liability. However, if you're going to a VFW / hall where the caterer will be hired by you to come in, then you should be able to get the alcohol.

I've already looked at very nice venues that you are paying for the space, therefore you supply the caterer and the alcohol. My comment has more to do with what venue will they choose and if this is an option.

I forgot to mention these venues are renovated mills and plantation homes not the VFW hall.

Venue was important to me, so we chose an historic home for the reception. We did heavy hors d'oeuvres and full bar. My gown was only $500. This was 23 yrs ago. I do remember venue first, then things like flowers, etc. I don't remember food unless it's unusually good or bad.

 

[littlebit0863]

Favors: Just don't go there. NO ONE cares about favors, amd many, many people consider them a nuisance.

THIS! I have never once had a wedding favor I cared one bit about. Do you know how many MnMs I have eaten with the bride and groom's name on them? Neither do I, because I don't care.

Another thing is if you won't have dancing, warn people ahead of time. I have gone to two different weddings where dancing was against the bride & groom's religion, only I didn't know that. If dancing is against their religion, you can bet alcohol is too. Those were very boring receptions and I was counting down the minutes until I could leave.

 

[arthur06]

DW and I have been married for 6 years.

We never really worried about what others thought of it, it was more what we wanted and what we liked.

We were married at the same church as both sets of grandparents.

My FIL is a fabulous cook. He smoked like 60-70lbs of pork loin. MIL made our Cheesy Hashbrown Casserole, and we had fresh fruit on kabob sticks, baked beans, rolls. It was a wonderful meal at about 1/4 of the price of a catered meal.

We rented a hall, then had a a 30x30 outdoor tent set up. We had a real formal type feel inside and a laid back fun atmosphere outside. Everyone really went to the element that the felt comfortable. We even rented a cotton candy machine for all the kids, and a few adults.

Would this be in everyone's taste? Probably not. But, it was memorable for us, and ultimately that is what mattered.

 

[dougsmom98]

I didn't read everyone else's replies, but I would not/did not spend a lot of money on table centerpieces. I don't remember anyone's table centerpieces at any wedding I have ever been to. We asked the hotel where we had our reception what they would put on the tables if we chose not to buy centerpieces and they said they would put hurricane lamps in the center for free. So, that's what we did. Table linens and chair covers are another area I would not spend extra money. No one will remember those. While I do think you need to give a party favor to guests at a wedding, I would not spend a ton of money on them. I don't remember any party favor except the ones from my own wedding. I also would not spend a ton of money on decorations for the church. A few well placed vases of flowers, bows, candles... will be sufficient.

I would spend money on good food, pictures, and good music (whether it is a band or an awesome DJ). The DJ if you go that route or wedding coordinator can have a huge impact on the mood of the wedding. We had a lot of 20 something guests and we wanted a huge party with lots of dancing and fun. I met with the DJ prior to the wedding and we picked out the "party" music and we discussed the pace of the party. I didn't want people sitting around bored waiting for things, so he kept the evening's events moving. The other thing we spent money on that 16 years later some of our guests remember are the welcome baskets we put in our out of state guest's rooms. We filled the baskets with waters, soda, cookies, crackers, candy... If we know someone liked Mountain Dew, that is what they got. If we knew they liked gummy bears, they got gummy bears. After a night of partying, they were thankful for some munchies and drinks...

 

[Grammyof2]

I went to a wedding yesterday and it was fabulous and budget friendly.

They had a short outdoor ceremony at 6 PM at a local winery. The reception was immediately following at the winery in the recreation hall. The hall is very nice and tasteful. I must say the moment I walked in I noticed the centerpieces because they were very tall in the center of the table on a glass pedestal so they did not block the view and the tops were covered with a silk arrangement. I am good friends with the parents of the bride and was told they were rented as part of the package at the winery.

The food was heavy appetizers, hot and cold and plentiful for around 2 hours followed by a wonderful dessert bar. At 10 PM we had pizza. Yep pizza but everyone loved it and were hungry by then since the reception was in full blown party mode. The cake was served after the pizza. There was beer and wine, soda, tea, coffee and lemonade.

They did have a photo booth and it was a big hit.

About 100 guests - evenly split between friends of the bride and groom and older friends and family. DJ played a good mix of music with lots of dancing.

The groom is in the service and is getting deployed in October so there wasn't much planning time. The brides dress was beautiful but I know it only cost around $300. The invitations were similar to a photo Christmas card with their pictures and the information. Again they were inexpensive.

All in all one of the nicest weddings I have attended and I have been to many venues from the backyard to a mansion. They spent just under $10,000 so it can be done. Also I am in South Jersey area and your area may have different mileage.

 

[Jenny3]

I went to a family wedding yesterday and thought of this thread (that ever happen to anyone else? lol)

I am just reiterating the importance of an excellent DJ as the one at the reception yesterday stunk. First, he played the wrong wedding song for the bride & groom (only the most important song of the night! WTH) He did WAY too much slow, "dinner" music; we were practically falling asleep at the table. Then went right from that into full-blown hip hop - there was no transition whatsoever to ease into it or to get people on the dance floor first.

Now, I like hip hop and I love to dance, but not everyone does. A majority of guests were older and didn't dance at all - and I know they would have if the music was more their speed. There is plenty of danceable excellent music out there to get the crowd going. Grandmom isn't going to boogie to Biggie, you know?!

I went up and requested some music and was told he didn't have any Black Eyed Peas. Huh? What respectful DJ doesn't have "Tonight's Gonna be a Good Night" at a wedding reception?!

To sum it up... DJ = empty dance floor = people leaving reception early. Not good.

 

[CandleontheWater]

I have to say that the very best weddings I've been to have all had a live band. There is just something about live music that is so much more fun (and memorable) than a DJ. Guests are much more likely to get up and dance with a good band, which leads to such a fun and festive atmosphere.

Another thing- don't do a cash bar. If all you can afford is beer and wine so be it (or just one specialty drink). Cash bars are memorable, but not in the way that you want!

 

[akcire]

Where do you put your money to get the best impression from the guests prospective?

As others have said...Food.

Let me tell you a little story about a wedding I attended last month, with my VERY formal mother. It was held in a garage, there was no alcohol (groom was an alcoholic), the "in service" entertainment was provided by brides teenage son (2nd marriage), reception entertainment provided by a radio. My super formal mother had one and only one comment, the food sucked!!

It was so bad that following the reception she broke one of her personal rules and ate fast food (we were 400 miles from home).

If the food had been good, she would not have made a peep about the other short comings. We have attended nearly a hundred weddings together over the years (I am frequently her date) and her number one issue is food. Not fancy food, good tasting food and she is a tiny little bird-like lady who wears couture clothes. She expects an invitation will come with a meal, not an expensive meal but a good tasting meal.

 

[BadgerGirl84]

OP, here is my invitations tip. Unless you are very crafty and love paper crafts, scrapbooking, etc, I would recommend finding an invitations vendor on Etsy.

There are some great people who do them on there...beautiful designs, beautiful paper and at a fraction of what you would pay to get them "professionally done." Yes, I could have paid a bit less to do them w/ a kit from Michaels or Target, but I saved myself a lot of stress by having someone from Etsy do them. Plus, I didn't find a kit that was just what I wanted.

Plus, I got my vendor to also make a really cool template that I got printed at Kinkos on water-bottle labels and I made custom water bottles for a very cheap. People thought I spent tons.

 

[MomToOne]

In my family, the critical items are (1) Good drinks (an open bar is expected - but that's my family, I know that is different for others), (2) Good food and (3) Good music (band preferred, although a good DJ is also acceptable and is better than a bad band).

I just realized reading this thread that my youngest brother didn't have favors at his wedding. It never even crossed my mind until today. I personally think favors are a complete waste of money. I've never gotten one that I kept - usually they hit the trash can as soon as I get home because they are just space wasters...

 

[honeydiane1953]

FOOD , cake, dress and music. These r the most important things guests will remember. A great photographer would be priceless for the wedding couple. Good food is what they'll remember. lol I watch four weddings on TLC every week.

 

[budbeerlady]

I think food nails it on the head. People remember the food and music.

Dh and I worked banquets for a couple of years and D-MIL was a banquet manager at the Hilton. We have had so much wedding food over the years that it takes alot for it to be memorable. People do remember when its small portions, you go home hungry, or the bride and groom are eating filet minon and you have chicken. That did happen alot, groom/ bride had another meal and people notice.

Our wedding was a buffet (85% of wedding in our area are buffets) and we made sure our guests had PLENTY of good food! And a great D.J. When we left a little after midnight most of our guests were still dancing and having a great time. From the video it looks like they closed the place down, LOL! I was too tired to keep going.

And we were odd ducks, we cut the cake before dinner. And how many times do you wait for the bride/groom to cut the cake???!!!?!!? Every wedding we served people were out smoking, using the bathroom, doing whatever while the cake was cut. I had a captive audience, LOL, so we were announced and went up to cut our cake. Then there was no lag from dinner service to cake coming out. The staff plated the cake while everyone started to eat dinner. I like to keep things rolling if I can.

Most uncomfortable reception ever was Brother-in-law and Sister-in-laws non-music one. People left right after dinner and the mother of the bride was chasing people down to stay for the garter toss. Awkward... And the 1 food option of chicken wasn't very good, it was dry. The venue was beautiful, very expensive and might have made them skimp on the food. Most left before they cut the cake, we stayed because I felt bad. We went to a pasta place up the road for spaghetti pie and a beer afterward.

Food and Music!!!!