When people offer "advice"?

[bailey2007]

I had coffee today with a friend of mine, someone I haven't seen for about 3 months. I ordered the small cinnamon roll thingy as there weren't too many offerings for a between meal snack. My friend asked me if I was still doing Weight Watchers and I said not really. We used to have it at work but it ended and I never seem to stick with an after work meeting. The she told me about a walking program she had read about in a magazine and how much walking is required to lose weight. I guess I felt defensive because I really felt that she was implying that I needed to get back on track and lose weight. This is someone who always looks perfect, lost a bunch of weight 30 years ago and never gained it back. A few years ago she needed to lose 5 pounds and did. I just kind of left the meeting feeling like a frump....Should I have said anything? I did say I have started walking at an indoor track and hope to continue outside. But I felt like I was defending myself.
Thanks for letting me vent.
Judy

 

[ILuvDVC2]

In my own experience, sometimes people's words don't match up to their intentions when they ask questions about personal topics like losing weight. I wasn't there to hear her words, her tone, etc., so I can only offer you a different, but plausible, point of view. If she's never been insensitive or insulting to you about your weight before, why would she do so now? If it's not something that has happened before, or out of character for her, I'd give her the benefit of the doubt and chalk it up to poor word choices but not bad intention.

JMHO...

 

[Tiger Lily 03]

I guess I felt defensive because I really felt that she was implying that I needed to get back on track and lose weight. This is someone who always looks perfect, lost a bunch of weight 30 years ago and never gained it back. A few years ago she needed to lose 5 pounds and did. I just kind of left the meeting feeling like a frump....Should I have said anything? I did say I have started walking at an indoor track and hope to continue outside. But I felt like I was defending myself.

I'm sorry that you felt defensive. I WISH you could find a way to openly discuss with your friend how you feel without being put on the defensive.

MY WISH for you is that you Do not give other people permission to make you feel inferior. Look in the mirror every day and tell yourself "I am beautiful and I am worth it!"

I'm thinking that if you are ok with where you are you should not let the other person make you feel inferior. Take control of you.

Sometimes it helps to talk about your situation with friends, and if this person is a friend then maybe discussing your goals and needs would help you.

 

[moredisneyplease]

Were you feeling defensive because you're self conscience and right now you're feeling heavy? We all go through those days/weeks/months/years.

You can blow the whole thing off and let it slide or if you are feeling heavy and want to do something about it you can harness that energy and support and use it! there was a posting a week or so ago about people sabatoging diets so maybe she's doing the opposite and just trying to help get you back on track if you've gotten of.

Spin this whole thing and make it work for you!

 

[bailey2007]

Were you feeling defensive because you're self conscience and right now you're feeling heavy? We all go through those days/weeks/months/years.

You can blow the whole thing off and let it slide or if you are feeling heavy and want to do something about it you can harness that energy and support and use it! there was a posting a week or so ago about people sabatoging diets so maybe she's doing the opposite and just trying to help get you back on track if you've gotten of.

Spin this whole thing and make it work for you!

You know, this is probably very close to the truth. I have been feeling heavy lately and just kind of overall blah. I haven't been trying very hard to lose the weight. I really am not sure if she meant the suggestions as true advice or as "digs" but I think I'll try to use it in a positive way. I already feel that I want to work hard to lose some pounds so that when I see her in another month or so, she will say "Gee, you've lost weight."

 

[Tiger Lily 03]

Were you feeling defensive because you're self conscience and right now you're feeling heavy? We all go through those days/weeks/months/years.

You can blow the whole thing off and let it slide or if you are feeling heavy and want to do something about it you can harness that energy and support and use it! there was a posting a week or so ago about people sabatoging diets so maybe she's doing the opposite and just trying to help get you back on track if you've gotten of.

Spin this whole thing and make it work for you!

You know, this is probably very close to the truth. I have been feeling heavy lately and just kind of overall blah. I haven't been trying very hard to lose the weight. I really am not sure if she meant the suggestions as true advice or as "digs" but I think I'll try to use it in a positive way. I already feel that I want to work hard to lose some pounds so that when I see her in another month or so, she will say "Gee, you've lost weight."

Good attitude and great idea! WISHing you all the positive thoughts you need to get you there.

 

[AKASnowWhite]

she told me about a walking program she had read about in a magazine and how much walking is required to lose weight.

Is it at all possible that your friend was hinting at the idea of the two of you becoming "walking buddies"?

 

[bailey2007]

Is it at all possible that your friend was hinting at the idea of the two of you becoming "walking buddies"?

I wish- but she lives 90 minutes from me.... But that would be nice if she were closer.