When do you stop paying for your kids' cruises?

[cruiser21]

I was 16 during the last parent-paid trip I took. As an adult, my mom routinely expresses a desire to go with us but doesn't even want to pay for herself. LOL

Seems like I'm in the minority tho, at least wrt expensive travel. I have plenty of adult friends who travel internationally on their parents' dime. Also, when I was a young adult footing my own bills, other travelers would routinely assume that the trip was a wedding gift and such.

Not all parents have the financial means to pay for their adult kids. My parents did. Will I? Time will tell. After reading a lot of the comments on this thread including my own I hope it doesn't make anyone feel bad if they can't pay for their adult kids vacations. Disney cruises are expenses and those of us that have the funds to take them are definitely in the minority. I think sometimes the posters on this board lose sight of that...myself included.

 

[CM Dad]

Yes... I was fortunate to be able to take my parents on the Magic with me in 2017 thanks to a settlement from a class action suit that involved some student loans I'd had (clearly not government-based). They've done so much for me, I was happy to be able to do something for them.

This year, my sister and I split the cost of a cruise to Alaska on the Wonder for our parents for their 50th Anniversary. It was an inside cabin (which she managed to get upgraded to an ocean view and then a verandah - making me feel very inadequate, but it is what it is), but they were so appreciative.

And for next summer, I've reserved a beach house for myself, my parents, and my sister if she's on her vacation with the company we've used since I was in 7th grade. My dad has said that they will pay half, and I won't fight him on it because he wants to do that. But yeah...eventually the tables turn.

Our first cruise was for our 30th anniversary and my wife an I paid to take my parents, her mother our 4 kids (ages 18 to 28 back then) and one boyfriend who is now a husband. Offered to take 2 other boyfriends, but they declined. Most of our cruises after that have just been my wife and I, but have also paid for two family cruises for our kids and grandkids (wife's 60th birthday and our 40th anniversary). She has told the kids that we expect them to pick up the tab for our 50th anniversary, and that have time to plan/save for that.

 

[LongLiveRafiki]

I find this thread really interesting. We haven't yet been on a cruise, though I'm hoping we can afford to within the next few years (also trying to do a Disney trip before then). I went on two vacations as a kid, both to Disney. My grandparents paid for one and my aunt and uncle took me with them on another. Neither of my parents (divorced) could ever afford a trip.

When I was 19, I paid for my mom and brother to go to Disney with me. It was my mom's first vacation ever. Then last year, they both travelled with my DH, kids, and I to Disney again, with each of us paying our own way, but it took over a year of careful saving and budgeting to make it work.

I just don't ever really seeing my parents being in a position to pay for trips for us as adults, and so it never really crossed my mind that it was something commonly done. I also just couldn't see myself being comfortable with my parents or grandparents funding a vacation for me when I'm an adult. Heck, even though we don't have a lot of disposable money, we still sneak the bill away at restaurants when we go out with parents/grandparents because it doesn't feel right that they should pay.

My kids are still young so it's hard to see where we will be 10-15 yrs from now financially. Unless it's a really special occasion though, I just don't really see us continuing to fund vacations for our children once they are adults.

2) I want them to suffer a bit and understand how much life costs.

I really like this statement. I think struggling a bit helps you to become more responsible and appreciative for what you have.

 

[cadien]

If one insists on majoring in liberal arts and ends up basically jobless after college, should we pay for them to go on relatively expensive vacations? At that point I think it would be good for them to hit the proverbial reality wall. And then do you keep vacationing with the younger kids in the family? Tough questions. Not sure what the answer is here.

I do have to say that a liberal arts degree in itself doesn't make it any more difficult to find a job. Heck, economics falls under liberal arts. Students who don't know what they want to do usually end up in liberal arts, but it's that first part that interferes with a career track, not the degree.

 

[Cruising Engineer]

[QUOTE=" If one insists on majoring in liberal arts and ends up basically jobless after college, should we pay for them to go on relatively expensive vacations? At that point I think it would be good for them to hit the proverbial reality wall. And then do you keep vacationing with the younger kids in the family? Tough questions. Not sure what the answer is here.[/QUOTE]

Have to agree with the PP, a liberal arts degree is just a "holding pattern" until they figure out what they want to do when they grow up. As long as you keep the bank open, they will withdraw.

 

[we"reofftoneverland]

I do have to say that a liberal arts degree in itself doesn't make it any more difficult to find a job. Heck, economics falls under liberal arts. Students who don't know what they want to do usually end up in liberal arts, but it's that first part that interferes with a career track, not the degree.

Lol. After I posted that I thought someone might take issue! You are right, but as a liberal arts graduate myself, I am a resentful that no one informed me that if you want a job (which is necessary unless you have a trust fund) you probably should major in something the market will pay you to do. I was young and very uniformed when I went to school and had no guidance at all-- except advice like today's trendy, "do what you love." Most liberal arts degrees require additional degrees to get the kind of job I didn't know I wanted. Basically, most liberal arts students come out and have to go to college all over again. I personally have come to the conclusion that you should figure out what you want to do before you go to college or "find yourself" while you just pursue something where you can at least get a job when you get out. But this is just my opinion...

 

[cadien]

Lol. After I posted that I thought someone might take issue! You are right, but as a liberal arts graduate myself, I am a resentful that no one informed me that if you want a job (which is necessary unless you have a trust fund) you probably should major in something the market will pay you to do. I was young and very uniformed when I went to school and had no guidance at all-- except advice like today's trendy, "do what you love." Most liberal arts degrees require additional degrees to get the kind of job I didn't know I wanted. Basically, most liberal arts students come out and have to go to college all over again. I personally have come to the conclusion that you should figure out what you want to do before you go to college or "find yourself" while you just pursue something where you can at least get a job when you get out. But this is just my opinion...

Oh I absolutely agree some people shouldn't go to college right out of high school if they don't already have an idea of what they want to do. But there are some careers that want those liberal arts degrees. And there are many unemployed people who have the more practical degrees. There's no reason to keep supporting them just because were officially more sensible. I wouldn't penalize a child for what they majored in nor would I reward them. I actually don't believe in paying for their college regardless so it's not an issue of being an extra soft touch.

 

[Carrie in AZ]

Our friends are in their 50's and have two daughters in their 20's, one is now married. The parents of the wife pay for their entire family to cruise with them every single year, I don't think they have missed a year taking them in 26 years! Not DCL, but other lines, mostly out of California, but one year out of Seattle to Alaska. So, for some, their parents will continue to pay forever. They are very fortunate indeed! The parents/grandparents adore that family time and are in a position to treat each year.

Personally, I can see paying for our girls while they are still in school/college, but after that, probably not. I guess time will tell!

 

[Princess_Iliana_of_Avalor]

I wish it was the Haunting of Hill House!!!!! Loved that house! It was a series called the OA about a girl who is blind and goes missing but comes back years later with sight. It had Scott Wilson of Walking Dead fame (RIP).

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_OA

MJ

I LOVE THE OA!!!!!!

 

[Anchors Away 2016]

I guess what makes it a difficult decision for me is that I foresee many more years traveling with my youngest but not necessarily with my oldest. I had thought this coming PC trip would be the last. I do want her to travel with me but I also want her to learn to be responsible. I'm also not sure how much fun she'll have once she is in that in between 18-20 age.

I love that you are approaching this from the perspective of what is best for HER in the long term. That is great parenting!

My question to you would be, how is her money skills so far? If you pay for her vacation, will she spend that money on a second vacation, etc., or will she save it for a place of her own, or something else she needs? I think that you can spend money on an adult child as long as it allows them to go farther in their lives.

But as you say, the key question is always what is the best way to help her be responsible and live her own life. I suspect she is off to a good start thanks to your thinking like that!

 

[darnheather]

I love that you are approaching this from the perspective of what is best for HER in the long term. That is great parenting!

My question to you would be, how is her money skills so far? If you pay for her vacation, will she spend that money on a second vacation, etc., or will she save it for a place of her own, or something else she needs? I think that you can spend money on an adult child as long as it allows them to go farther in their lives.

But as you say, the key question is always what is the best way to help her be responsible and live her own life. I suspect she is off to a good start thanks to your thinking like that!

Thank you for your thoughtful response and thought provoking question. She's actually already saving to buy land and looking into building her own tiny home. So I'd say she is very responsible with money. We had some pretty hard years financially as a family so she knows what it means to knuckle down and stretch everything a little further. She makes mistakes like everyone does but does so much right. I think in the end if I can pay for her to come with us in 2020 I will, but if I can't then I have to not feel guilty when I take her younger sister.