When do you stop paying for your child to go on vacation with you?

[js]

Well, I'm almost 42 and my parents paid for my entire family to go on a Wyoming trip last summer. My dad says he would rather spend his money on us now than when he is gone!

I have two children 19 and 15 and will pay as ling as I can. Whether married or not. If i can do it I will. Im 46 and my mom is taking my family on a cruise next month and a Disney Cruise next year.

 

[ashmarie06]

Since I turned 18 I.have always paid for everything on vacation. The only thing I don't pay for is transportation. I also always sleep on the floor unless I want to pay for my own room.. I'm sure that if I went on vacation with my family now I'd be required to pay for my transportation also.

 

[AustinTink]

As long as we can afford it, we will be paying for our son to travel with us. When he marries and has kiddos, we will be treating the whole family. I can't wait to take the grandkids to Disney!! I'll be waiting quite some time though, my kid is in high school. LOL.

 

[HeatherC]

I am with you AustinTink. As long as we can, we will. Of course if the kids are lazy wretches I may change my mind.

Right now they are 16, 14 and 12 and I savor every minute I can with them.

 

[tar heel]

No magic cut-off for us, depends on the trip and the "child's" situation. I am grateful that my kids like to vacation with us and that we can help them out.

We will be spending a week at an island resort in July with our sons ages 19, 25 and 29 and the middle one's fiance. We have free housing. We'll spend $200 for the cleaning fee and probably $1,000 on food and entertainment. Except when they go out on their own, their expenses are covered. I may even buy my son a tank of gas since everyone traveling together is no longer an option since we don't have a van any more.

We have an expensive week-long family reunion next year on the other side of the country. I'm paying the deposit for everyone. I'll expect the oldest to buy his own plane ticket and pay the rest of his housing and the food fee for the reunion because he can easily afford it. I'll cover the other ones' plane tickets and housing b/c otherwise they won't be able to go and I want them to. I'm going to have the then married couple to also pay their own food fee (probably about $200) -- that's what MY MIL did 28 years ago when the first reunion happened. We'll cover everything for the college student.

 

[tar heel]

I don't have to take my kids on vacations to get them to spend time with me either. What a ridiculous comment.

 

[poofsgirl]

I am glad everyone has the money to continue supporting kids, but I am not one of them. We are a yours, mine and ours family that just had #3 graduate. The 3 over 18 were not invited to our Disney vacation next month, and the 16 year old does not want to go, therefore I have no problem taking the just the two younger ones. I never got family vacations as a kid and started paying rent to my mom at 18. What is so bad about learning about the real world at 18? I was very successful until I stopped working 5 years ago - granted if we had more money, sure I would invite them, but I think you have to do what is best for your family situation and not judge others because they might currently not be financially blessed. I know I am going back to work this fall when the youngest is in school and hopefully things will change in the future where we can have a "family" vacation, but at this point I don't want 6 kids arguing all of the time either, 2 will be so much easier!

LOL, my first DIS-post

 

[goofyintoronto]

I don't have children yet and my parents never really took me on vacation... I subsidized them going to disney world the first time they went.

However my answer would be "At whatever point the parents feel ok with the child saying 'Sorry I can't afford to go' and staying home."

So if your ok with your 18 year old not coming on vacation with you then sure don't pay. But if you really want it to still be a full family vacation and expect them to go then you should pay.

Exactly! If you tell your 18 yr old s/he has to pay for their own vacation, guess what theyre gonna do? As another poster said, they'll end up going to Cancun etc with friends instead! At 18, thats what I would do! I'd rather party with my friends on vacation, not my parents! Therefore, I totally agree that if you want a family vacation, you should pay.

You're not "bribing" your kid to spend time with you either. There are many ways to spend time together besides going on vacation. All you're doing is creating life long memories with your family while on vacation.

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

Mine are 24 and 25, and I still pay for dinners out and vacation. However, there are some vacations they really want to do with me, and are willing to pay for whatever I can't afford. We're planning on a trip to Spain and a Disney cruise in the future, so they are saving for those. Some vacations I can't afford to take them, so I go on my own. Luckily for me, we all enjoy each others' company, and I love my son's girlfriend, so it's an easy choice.

 

[mom2girls1974]

I left home at 18 to go overseas (for 4 years) paid for it myself, but when my entire family went to Hawaii when I was 22 before I went to NZ for a year my mom paid for me as she was paying for my brother.

For our family, I will happily pay for my kids to vacation with us as long as they are living under our roof, and in school (or in school somewhere else I suppose). Once they are grown and paying their own bills it would be lovely if they payed their own way unless it was a special gift from us.

My oldest does have Asperger's, and there may of course be exceptions made, we will see what life brings her way. If she always lives with us, she will not be left out of vacations forever -but my husband and I will take some alone for sure!

 

[HeatherFeather]

I think it's a personal decision and depends on a lot of different circumstances within each family. When I was young, starting out and didn't make a lot of money, my parents treated me if they went on a vacation and invited me. Now that I am financially secure, I pay for myself and try to pay for at least a meal or two for everyone when we are traveling. My younger sister is unmarried and doesn't make a lot of money. She works full time and is 32 but my mom and I paid for her fare for a cruise we just took in March. While she was fully prepared to pay for her own cruise, Mom and I just went ahead and did it and told her happy birthday.

Within our family though, the common denominator is no one ever expects someone else to pick up the tab for them but if it happens, it is accepted gratefully.

My oldest is now 21 and living with her boyfriend out of state. She has chosen not to work because she had a job in retail but didn't want to work weekends so she quit. She has no children and is now back in college classes but spent almost a year doing nothing while her boyfriend supported her financially. In her case, I won't be offering to pay for any vacations for her because she has made the decision not to work. Her boyfriend is lower enlisted in the Coast Guard so he is not a rich guy. I would be more inclined to pay for him to come on vacation with us as he is a good kid and hard worker.

 

[kimmyann]

We were planning on our oldest DD to go with us on our vacation this past May. We even planned it around her schedule with college & were taking our youngest out of school for it. It was kind of a last vacation with all of the kids. Well, she bailed on us. Granted, I had yet to buy the tickets, but I did make serious changes to our schedules & turned in the leave time for work.

We are planning another trip to Disney for August 2014. It will be the three of us (myself, DH & youngest DD) & I honestly am looking forward to it. My DS is out of the equation simply because he totally hates vacations & will be over 18 so he can stay home with his sister.

 

[disykat]

After you paying for their meals, lodging, park tickets, and transportation, there isn't much left to pay for, is there? Other than souvenirs and that sort of thing.

Yet someone posted that they feel sorry for her poor kids! I guess there must be parents out their giving their almost grown and grown kids souvenir money?

 

[NHdisneylover]

Mine are 16 and 14, so we are obviously still paying now

DD16 will be going off to college in the sates in two years.

Our family takes 4-6 week or more long vacations per year (gotta love the German 6 weeks of vacation days plus holidays ).

We afford nicer trips largely by going at "off" times, like the fall break from school, or the last week of our summer vacation (early September) when most places are already back at school.

We will not STOP travelling just because DD will be in school and unable to go with us. We'll pay to fly her home for Christmas and summer while she is in college though--and if we are able to make a vacation work when she is here, then we will certainly pay for her to join us.

I assume once she (and same goes for DS14) is supporting herself, she will mostly pay for her own vacations--but if we were doing something like renting a house, we'd likely pay for the entire house if the kids wanted to join us, etc.

Don't feel too bad for them I was a single parent with both children with minimal child support for the first 10 years and managed to take them on at least two vacations every year. Of course, at that age I paid for everything But they did learn not to spend $ without thinking and are both pretty frugal with their spending to this day, opting to save for the things they really want (which often translates into contributing to vacations we take together).

And, honestly, if I had to pay for my grown childrens' (out of high school or college if they go) vacations in order for them to choose to spend that time with me, I'd rather not do that. It "feels" like a bribe to me to get them to spend time as a family. I'd settle for cookouts and smaller-scale get togethers

That only works if your kids live near by and CAN do things on evenings or weekends. If you live really far apart, about the only way to do it is to visit with each other during your precious vacation days. Young people often only have 1 week of vacation--I would never expect them to sacrifice it visiting home (how boring). Nor, would I EXPECT them to spend it with me, or try to guilt them into spending it with me---but I would make that appealing by paying for some portion of it (like the lodging for everyone, etc).

 

[crz4mm2]

If I want them to go, I pay.
One is 33 (married and with a child) the other is almost 26.

 

[wilma-bride]

My DD is 20 (almost 21) and works full time but still lives at home. She hasn't travelled with us since she was 18, having spent her vacations with her boyfriend and his family.

We had already booked this year's trip when she decided she would like to come with us. She has paid for her own flight and her park tickets, however we are taking a Disney cruise during the first week and we have paid for her to have her own SR on the cruise. We will also pay for meals, etc. while in Orlando.

She has very generously offered to pay for her and her little brother to swim with the dolphins in Grand Cayman - I am lucky to have such a wonderful daughter

I am paying for us both to go to WDW for a week next March, to celebrate her 21st. She won't pay for anything on that trip as it is her Birthday gift.

 

[Art 1]

As long as she needs help. 21 and soon to graduate college. She wanted to go to NYC a few months ago so I paid. She is going to Haiti, Rep. Dom., Jamaica and Mexico in a week or two, I'll pay for that. As long as she is studying hard and working her part time job I'll help her out. Just want her happy.

 

[luvgoing2disney]

We are not rich by any means, but we pay for our son's apartment, car and insurance and his vacations. He is 20 now and is attending college, and as long as he is doing that I don't mind at all paying for his vacations. We get trips on our own, in fact going back down to WDW in September, just the two of us, but as long as we are able and want to take vacations together through college, you can believe we will do it. After college, when he is on his own, things will change, but for now I'm happ the way things are.

 

[disneychrista]

I stopped paying when it was my daughter (18 at the time) making the plans. She wanted to go to Disneyland for Halloween a couple years ago. I told her if she was serious & was willing to pay for her own ticket & food then I would pay for gas & hotel. Next trip my oldest decided to bring her boyfriend (who we have converted into a Disney Fan), everyone paid for their own tickets & food plus 1/4 of the gas & hotel (I paid for the emergency rental car). Both my daughters work and without any real bills have extra money to pay for such things. We can go on a lot more trips if they pay their share vs me paying for everything. They understand this.

 

[Anri]

I think it depends on the parents and the situation. My parents both have different views on this subject because of how they were raised. My mom stayed at home until she was 25 years old and then she married my dad and moved in with him. Her parents pretty much supported her except in what she wanted for herself. My dad was out of the house at 18 and living on his own. Working fulltime and being very independent. I'm 24 and live on my own so my parents don't pay for me to go on vacation. Honestly they didn't pay for me to go on vacation when I was living with them either. I think so much of it was because they weren't "family" vacations. It was just me going with friends or school, I was working full-time and going to school, of course I will pay for myself. My parents will still pay for me to have dinner with them or go see a movie with the family every once in awhile, but the system is fairly reciprocal. When I was living with them I had no problem running errands for them, paying for vet bills for the family dog, helping out with financial responsibilties, etc. so I guess it is there way of saying thank you for being a responsible person and not being a spoiled teenager.