When do you know your child is ready to be potty trained?

[Tiggerlovinggrandma]

Are there any signs you look for befoire potty training? Is one age better then another? What steps did you follow in training your little one?

It has been a long time since I potty trained my daughter. She was nearly 3 at the time and simply appeared interested so we did. I was a stay at home mom at the time. Everything went really smoothly and fast, within a week she was completely trained. It seemed effortless.

Fast forward nearly twenty years, my grandson is 25 mos old. My daughter feels DGS is not ready at this time and that this would not be the time to undergo the process.

Right now my daughter and son in law are seperated with a strong possibility of divorce. They have agreed to a temporary child care arrangement on their own. DD has just begun a new management job. SIL leaves for National Guard training in July for 4 mos. When not in either of their care DGS is with my DH and I or with his other grandparents.

My daughter feels the timing is very stressful right now to begin such an undertaking as potty training or even transitioning DGS from a crib to a single bed. Another right of passge we must soon do. She feels all four care givers (DD, SIL, his parents and us) must be on the same page so to speak when handling either situation. For various reasons DD feels her husband and his parents will not work in accordance with her or us to potty train or transition child to a bed in a team like fashion. She feels this will only lead to more stress for her son.

On top of this she feels her DS has not shown any sign of interest towards the potty. For example when you ask him if he has pooped or peed he says no even if he has. His elimination (for lack of a better word) schedule is all over the place just as his meal, nap and bedtimes are. DH and I are the only ones to be consistant with these followed by DD to some degree.

I have to agree with DD that all of DGS caregivers must be willing to commit to the same routine and method used in potty training as well as trasitioning to a regular bed. Confusing a toddler is never a good thing. As for the perfect stress free time, I am not sure with what is going on with DD and SIL there will ever be a stress free time.

So for now I just want to get other opinions on what signs they looked for in their children for potty training as well as any tips or advice on how best to go about this. This I believe will help DD as well as DGS for whenever she is ready to tackle this issue as well as the bed. any tips for that would be helpful too. Any divorced parents who had to deal with potty or bed training issues would be great ot hear from too.

Thank you for listening and for helping

 

[baz212]

sorry accidental double post

 

[baz212]

When we first introduced the idea of the potty to my DS when he was around 18 months or so I think, We started by only changing his diaper in the bathroom. THis heelped him associate wet/messy diapers with the right room in the house. We would ask him after every change if he wanted to sit on the potty. After a few weeks of that we stopped asking if he wanted to sit the potty, and told him it was time to sit on the potty. We continued these baby-steps with pull-ups and asking him about every hour if he needed to use the potty.

One day when he was about 2 1/2 he decided he was done with pull-ups and wanted to wear underwear. DH hubby and I braced ourselves for accidents and put him underwear. By the end of the 3rd week in underwear he had gone from 2-3 accidents per day to 2-3 accidents per week.

Don't worry too much. It'll happen even if everyone isn't completely on the same page. Once your DGS decides he's ready he'll do. Just encourage without forcing and never shame him for accidents. Good luck

 

[Luv Bunnies]

My advice would be to wait. I work in a preschool class and our boys usually train later than the girls. A boy who just turned 2 could possibly be trained if he's showing signs of being ready. But, in my experience, most boys aren't ready as young 2 year olds. The first sign of readiness is that he shows awareness of needing to be changed. If he tells you after he's gone (without being asked), you can then prompt him to tell you before he needs to go. This level of awareness and communication can take time and requires a certain level of maturity.

You're right about all of his caregivers needing to be on the same page. When your daughter decides she wants to try potty training, she should initiate the process when he's with her. Whatever routine she establishes (language she uses, timing, rewards, etc.) should be communicated to and used consistently by everyone else.

Having said that, I still think he's a little young. It seems like there's enough going on in the family and perhaps it's best to wait to introduce something new right now. Good luck.

 

[highsmith]

I agree with your daughter, wait!

We tried the week after my daughter turned two and it was a disaster. She quit sleeping at night and quit telling us she had to go potty, we had to do it on her terms,

25 months is on the younger side for boys and if he exhibits no desire to try himself, it may be a major battle. Getting him on a day schedule everyone will adhere to is much more important. I have a 3yo and she would demand to be changed when he diaper was dirty, wanted to use the potty very early and it took us about four days to potty train her once we let her decide when. We stayed home, put her in underwear and never had a problem. . She had one accident, with my sister in law, who has older kids and forgot how urgent it is and then never again. She has been trained over a year, but she was the first of all my girlfiends. Some still are working on it at 3 1/2!!

Work on a good sleep, nap and food schedule and then you can wean night fluids and work on day training. Also, buy fun underwear and you can do a star system, when he gets a day, minor gift, week, larger...etc. Incentive seems to work!

Good luck!

 

[davidsprincess]

When I went into her bedroom and she had taken off her diaper and put on a pair of panties

 

[ADAMANDLISA]

Are there any signs you look for befoire potty training? Is one age better then another? What steps did you follow in training your little one?

It has been a long time since I potty trained my daughter. She was nearly 3 at the time and simply appeared interested so we did. I was a stay at home mom at the time. Everything went really smoothly and fast, within a week she was completely trained. It seemed effortless.

Fast forward nearly twenty years, my grandson is 25 mos old. My daughter feels DGS is not ready at this time and that this would not be the time to undergo the process.

Right now my daughter and son in law are seperated with a strong possibility of divorce. They have agreed to a temporary child care arrangement on their own. DD has just begun a new management job. SIL leaves for National Guard training in July for 4 mos. When not in either of their care DGS is with my DH and I or with his other grandparents.

My daughter feels the timing is very stressful right now to begin such an undertaking as potty training or even transitioning DGS from a crib to a single bed. Another right of passge we must soon do. She feels all four care givers (DD, SIL, his parents and us) must be on the same page so to speak when handling either situation. For various reasons DD feels her husband and his parents will not work in accordance with her or us to potty train or transition child to a bed in a team like fashion. She feels this will only lead to more stress for her son.

On top of this she feels her DS has not shown any sign of interest towards the potty. For example when you ask him if he has pooped or peed he says no even if he has. His elimination (for lack of a better word) schedule is all over the place just as his meal, nap and bedtimes are. DH and I are the only ones to be consistant with these followed by DD to some degree.

I have to agree with DD that all of DGS caregivers must be willing to commit to the same routine and method used in potty training as well as trasitioning to a regular bed. Confusing a toddler is never a good thing. As for the perfect stress free time, I am not sure with what is going on with DD and SIL there will ever be a stress free time.

So for now I just want to get other opinions on what signs they looked for in their children for potty training as well as any tips or advice on how best to go about this. This I believe will help DD as well as DGS for whenever she is ready to tackle this issue as well as the bed. any tips for that would be helpful too. Any divorced parents who had to deal with potty or bed training issues would be great ot hear from too.

Thank you for listening and for helping

I wouldn't worry right now. My son showed all of the signs very early on, yet he wasn't ready until just recently. About 6 weeks ago (he turned 3 the end of December), he just decided he was ready and even went right to standing. He's never had an accident either, unlike when we were pushing it. I really thought he would never potty train and then it was over in the blink of an eye.

I'd say, give him the option...if he wants it, he'll do it. If not, give it some time. Boys are too busy concentrating on other things.

As far as the crib to bed transition...I say, if they'll stay in the crib, leave them in there!(sign for this is climbing out)

Good luck to your family during this transition time. I really hope everything goes ok for you!

 

[mjkacmom]

I use the nakey butt test. I take off their pants, put a potty in the room, and tell them to use it if they have to go. If they have more than 1 accident, I put the diaper back on, and try again in 3 months. Dd8 never wore a diaper again (I try this method when they're 2 1/2 - BTW, NONE of my kids ever expressed interest in the potty, even the 2 I traditionally trained with underwear when they turned 3 - and had missed the window). Dd6 passed the test, but ds6 failed, so he was put back in diapers, and trained 3 months later, after passing. We do nakey for a few days, then commando for a few weeks, then underwear.

 

[abouley]

I agree with your daughter. He is young and there is too much stress and inconsistency in his care right now. I would wait until closer to 2.5 and hopefully at that time things will be more stable. What you can do is have a potty available and starting asking if he wants to sit first thing in the morning and after every diaper change. Get him used to the potty but in no way try to actually train. I do this for months with my kids until they seem like they are interested in going more often.

My son was 2.5 and we did a weekend potty training session after he'd been sitting and going after every diaper change. I had him wear no pants and that seemed to be the only way he cared that he had an accident. We did have lots of accidents in the year to follow though and I often wonder if I pushed him too much too young. My DD is 2.5 and shows all the signs of being ready except she doesn't want to give up diapers yet (she's very stubborn and likes to do things on her terms). We have a DL trip planned next month and then she starts preschool (doesn't have to be potty trained) so not sure when I will fit training in. Hard to find a window of time to stay home to do it with 2 kids and lots of activities! Also don't want to make too many changes all at once.

I would also not worry about the crib. Wait until he climbs out and then worry about it. Or wait until closer to 2.5 as well. There is really no rush to get out of the crib!

Alison

 

[liznboys]

I agree, I would wait on potty training. My four boys were all potty trained between 2.5 and 3. I know of several boys of friends of mine who were a bit over 3. 25 months is too young for boys in my opinion (unless they are basically begging to be trained/training themselves).

I wouldn't bother moving out of the crib either until he starts to climb out. I know of toddlers who were in cribs until they were 3. Nothing wrong with it. Mine were not but only because we coslept.

 

[Sorsha]

Yeah, I would say wait. 25 mos is awfully early, especially with the family stresses going on. All 3 of my DDs weren't ready till around 3 yrs, and boys *usually* (not always) train later than girls.

I have heard that some of the markers you can look for to judge readiness for potty training are:
*child can verbally communicate the need to use the bathroom
*child can, with some help, get his pants up/down to use the bathroom
*child shows interest in using the toilet and/or tries to copy mom and dad
*child has regular and predictable bowel movements
*child consistantly wakes up dry in the mornings

 

[lil mermaid]

I agree with those who say to wait. The poor little guy is barely two, and has lots of turmoil and inconsistency in his life already. Unless he is showing obvious signs of wanting/being ready to train, I'd just leave him alone for now.

And also, there is no reason why he "has" to go into a big boy bed any time soon. If he is comfortable and happy in his crib, let him stay there.

 

[tartemis]

We are currently potty training my 19 month old -- she actually initiated it, but I was planning on starting soon anyway. I was potty trained around this age and my brother was at 2. My personal opinion is that, in general, the "experts" are recommending waiting too long these days. A couple of generations ago, everyone was potty-trained much earlier than kids today.

All that being said, I definitely think that if the child has some other traumatic event occurring right now, that it may not be a good time.

 

[allyphoe]

A couple of generations ago, everyone was potty-trained much earlier than kids today.

A couple of generations ago, "potty-trained" was 2 or 3 accidents a week, over a span of months or years. Whereas my DD (who stopped wearing diapers the week she turned 3, which IMHO would be considered somewhat late even now) had 4 accidents total in the week she decided she was done with diapers, and none thereafter. I personally found 3 years of diapers and no messes to be easier than 2 years of diapers and plenty of messes, but YM(and kid)MV.

 

[tartemis]

A couple of generations ago, "potty-trained" was 2 or 3 accidents a week, over a span of months or years. Whereas my DD (who stopped wearing diapers the week she turned 3, which IMHO would be considered somewhat late even now) had 4 accidents total in the week she decided she was done with diapers, and none thereafter. I personally found 3 years of diapers and no messes to be easier than 2 years of diapers and plenty of messes, but YM(and kid)MV.

Hmm... not sure I agree with that. Accoring to my mother, aunts, etc. that wasn't the case (i.e. there weren't more accidents associated with earlier training).

My mom's theory is that parents back then were more motivated to get toddlers out of diapers since diapers were such a pain and not as effective as the user-friendly versions that exist now.

Every kid is different, but if your child starts showing signs of interest early, I wouldn't wait just because that is the current trend.

 

[mjkacmom]

A couple of generations ago, "potty-trained" was 2 or 3 accidents a week, over a span of months or years. Whereas my DD (who stopped wearing diapers the week she turned 3, which IMHO would be considered somewhat late even now) had 4 accidents total in the week she decided she was done with diapers, and none thereafter. I personally found 3 years of diapers and no messes to be easier than 2 years of diapers and plenty of messes, but YM(and kid)MV.

I found it much harder to pt at 3 than at 2 1/2 - the early ones took only a couple of weeks, the older ones months. I didn't do nakey butt with the older 2, so maybe that's why is was so much harder.

 

[Tiggerlovinggrandma]

I let my daughter read the replys I have gotten so far on my OP. She and I agree that in light of all the drama in her son's life at the moment plus the fact he really hasn't shown any signs he is interested, she will wait a bit longer to potty train him. Perhaps after we return from WDW in September when he is 2 1/2 or closer to 3. She wants to play it by ear and reasset month to month. However she did have some questions as to certain techiques everyone is using.

Exactly what is the "nakey butt" technique? DD and I can get quite a visual lol but not sure how it works? Just what do you do about all the accidents in the beginning? Also what is commando style?

 

[ADAMANDLISA]

"Nakey butt" is great! That's what worked for my son! He was usually too busy with everything around him to pay attention to his "needs", so I stripped him from the waist down and put his little potty in the living room. It was either pee in the potty or pee on himself. He got it really fast. Never had an accident. Within a week, he was wearing his "gutchies" at all times except at night. Also, DH taught him right away to use the urinal and he's been standing ever since (except for #2, of course ).

Wishing you the best of luck!!!!

 

[Joyful3Heart]

I would encourage your daughter to follow her instincts, I think we spend so much time reading the "right" books, following the "best" advice that we forget that we as moms (and dads ) know our children best. I have been a pediatric RN for 12 years and a mom for 9 and I have learned that a mom's instinct is often right on target in the long run even when all medical professionals dismiss it. During a divorce, a child is so stressed, learning a new schedule and new family dynamic, that it is probably best to keep all other things consistent.
That being said, I make a big event out of it, usually after their 2nd birthday and wrap up a big "potty pack", with a book, fancy undies, stickers and a potty. We talk about how exciting it is to go in the "big boy/girl potty" and leave it at that, reminding them of it and encouraging every couple of weeks. That way, it is there for them when they feel ready. Both my older ones were potty trained by 2 1/2 this way, and it's less stressful for both of us than intense daily "training"
Blessings...