When did you know the time was right to become parents?

[beckmrk04]

This is sooo funny to me! Dh and I rarely go out now anyway- jobs, and we're saving money- actually when we go to WDW in May we are taking our nieces (3 & 5). They are like our practice kids . So to us, a fun Saturday night is making dinner, renting a movie, and hanging out with our dog! I'm glad other young couples are like that! And we both have our degrees, but I want to be a SAHM for at least a while, so he's working on advancing his career, I'm working on adding to the bank accounts!!

And i agree with justthat: I plan on taking LOTS of trips with our kids. ALthough, maybe I'll feel differently after I drive my nieces to WDW and back!!

 

[DMickey28]

Becky,

my DH and I are/were in the same boat as you. We were also married in oct 04, but have only been together for four years. I am 27 almost 28 and he is 30 almost 31. We have just seriously started TTC. It is a scary jump and often times I wonder. Each month when I test, it's a mix between excitement and being scared.

We also feel in our heart that we are ready to start our family. However, of course financially things could always be better. But we are on the way up and can certainly afford one or even two babies right now, and we are still a year away from the baby actually being here.

I look at the income that other people make raising a family work on and I know that we can do it.....

GoodLuck in your choice. I think it's just a leap you need to take as long as in both of your hearts you are ready to be a family. the $$ falls into place.

 

[beckmrk04]

Becky,

my DH and I are/were in the same boat as you. We were also married in oct 04, but have only been together for four years. I am 27 almost 28 and he is 30 almost 31. We have just seriously started TTC. It is a scary jump and often times I wonder. Each month when I test, it's a mix between excitement and being scared.

We also feel in our heart that we are ready to start our family. However, of course financially things could always be better. But we are on the way up and can certainly afford one or even two babies right now, and we are still a year away from the baby actually being here.

I look at the income that other people make raising a family work on and I know that we can do it.....

GoodLuck in your choice. I think it's just a leap you need to take as long as in both of your hearts you are ready to be a family. the $$ falls into place.

Hugs to you and to everyone!! I guess hearing other people's stories reminds me that these worries affect lots of people, not just me! It's nice to have so many people be so sharing and supportive!

 

[VSL]

This is sooo funny to me! Dh and I rarely go out now anyway- jobs, and we're saving money- actually when we go to WDW in May we are taking our nieces (3 & 5). They are like our practice kids . So to us, a fun Saturday night is making dinner, renting a movie, and hanging out with our dog! I'm glad other young couples are like that! And we both have our degrees, but I want to be a SAHM for at least a while, so he's working on advancing his career, I'm working on adding to the bank accounts!!

And i agree with justthat: I plan on taking LOTS of trips with our kids. ALthough, maybe I'll feel differently after I drive my nieces to WDW and back!!

Jay is going to be advancing his career (he loves what he does), while after I graduate (this summer!) I'm just going to get a job to 'put money in the bank', so to speak. Luckily, we're also both living at home and go to a Uni that is just a few miles away (we drive in everyday), so we don't have to deal with paying back loans either.

Also, Jay should get a grant of some kind to do his PhD (although probably only about £5,000/$8000 a year - 3yrs total), and I am planning to get a job that will pay a minimum salary of approx. £13,000/$20,800. It's not huge, but Jay will save all of his grant money, and I'll be saving nearly all of my salary (I plan to buy a small car - to get to work!). In that time we're also hoping to start looking for a place to live

Can you tell that I have OCD?!

 

[LiteBrite]

For those of you who are waiting until you're in your 30's for financial or any other reasons, I would just caution you not to be too sure that everything will work out the way you've planned. I had my DD when I was 27 - she was a surprise, although we had planned to start trying just a couple of months later. Easy conception, easy pregnancy, healthy baby. However, although we very much wanted to, we were never able to get pregnant again. I had no idea I'd be infertile after having my daughter was so easy in the first place, but apparently for me, 30 years old was too old for having babies.

DD is in college now, hubby and I are in our mid 40's, and getting ready to embark on a whole new chapter in our lives (we're preparing to go on the mission field). I am so glad God gave us our DD when He did! We were not ready financially, but if we had waited until we were, we probably would never have had children at all. We just don't know what the future holds, and I say if you want babies, go for it. You'll never be sorry.

 

[harleyquinn]

This thread is hilarious to me! I posted almost the eact same story as yours about 6 months ago. Someone jumped all over me basically saying, "if you have to ask, you aren't ready>" Which isn't what I wanted to know either.

So here's my take. I'm 25, Dh is 26, we were married in June of 04 after being together for 8 years (sounds pretty similar huh? ) We bought a house last year and that has been great. I have a good job, I don't make a ton, but the cost of living here is low. Dh is certified to teach, but our schools are so messed up that there won't be anything for at least 5 years. He does have a full time retail job, but he's really upset about not not being able to find something better. Our only debt is the house and student loans, but I'm uncomfortable with having children.

At least until January 26. While we were at WDW my MIL(51) died. The thing that bothers me more than most others is that she never got any grandchildren. I was counting on her to help me raise my kids since she did a truly amazing job with DH. I'm not going to let this rush me into having kids, but I feel more ready now than before. I can't really explain it, but I just feel like the time is nearer than I had thought. We're still going to give DH another school year to see if anything turns up though

Good luck with your decision!!

 

[Rock'n Robin]

I was a planner and for us, most of it worked out. We met at 17, married 5 1/2 years later. I had no intention of raising a child in an apartment and as a teacher, I wanted to get my master's out of the way before kids, so we got a house in 88 and I got my master's degree in 90. Unforunately I lost my first in late 1990, but from that point on it was clockwork. I had DD#1 in 92 when I was 28, DD#2 in 95 (31), and DS in 98(34). I may have started earlier if I knew I would have 3--I always thought I'd have 2. Now I'm 42 and DS is only in 2nd grade, but it seems in our suburb there are many parents who are my age and not a lot of younger parents, although one girl in DS's class has a mom who was my student in 9th grade and is now only 30!
It turned out I lucked out in other ways tool. The state of Ohio has phased out "permanent certificates" for teachers. I was in one of the last couple of years to get one. Now I don't have to go back for any classes unless I want to. If I had waited to get my master's, not only would I have juggled kids summer schedules with my own college work, I would always have to get more hours at license renewal time.
Also, I was lucky to be fertile. Seriously, 4 pregnancies that started the first month we tried. I know others who are not so lucky, which might be a reason to not put it off. On the other hand, would I want to be my MIL and have had 3 by the time I was 22? No way. (she was my age when I married DH!)
Robin M.

 

[ahutton]

Dh and I got married at 25 and 26 respectively. About a year later we bought our house we thought we would be in forever. A couple years later we talked about having kids but were a little unsure. We made the OB appointment for a consult, started taking the vitamins and then signed up for a Child Development class together at the local community college. The night of our final exam (it was a project, not a test, where you read a letter to an organization asking for them to do a specific thing to help children) and I could NOT stop crying. Found out a month later that I was expecting.

Wow, we sound like we have an OCD. Not sure about something? Take a class!! At least we weren't the only couple in there, and it was a great class that has helped us understand more about how our kids learn and develop! Three kids later we are running like crazy people but have a wonderful time with the family. In fact - tonight is pizza and movie night!

 

[ChrisnSteph]

I planned only 1 out of my 4 children, so I couldn't tell you when I thought the "right" time was!

 

[JenDaveBrendan]

I knew it was the right time when I got knocked up. There was no turning back after that!

Btw, I don't think you should have to wait if you really don't want to. I had my dd at 21 and I enjoyed my 20's just as much as anyone else. It was just a different type of joy.

I could have written the same post- I too had my DS when I was 21 - I agree you still enjoy your 20's, just not in the same way! DS made me a much better person....

Jen

 

[beckmrk04]

Wow, we sound like we have an OCD.

Nothing wrong with a little ocd...

I already had a consult with my ob, about 6 months ago, and I took a list of questions in, including, "Do you do routine episiotomies?" She thought I was hysterical!! SHe was like, you aren't even trying yet... But,no, I don't, and good for you doing your research!!

I'm a women's studies major and psych minor, so I've already had child psych, adolescent psych, marriage and family, etc; so I feel confident enough there. DH- he'll be FUNNY! He's gonna make such a great dad! Can't wait!

 

[bekkiz]

We're also in a similar situation, 25/27, been married almost 2.5 years. I am almost 100% ready. We're planning on buying a house in the next few months, and once we're settled, I'll be rip-roaring to go.

DH on the other hand will probably not be ready. And I have some concern that he won't ever be "ready." We've talked about it often, and he knows that I worry about his "readiness." I just don't imagine he'll ever be that guy who looks you in the eye and says "let's have a baby!" And I've known that forever, but on the other hand, that step isn't something I can push him into...

Ask me next spring where things are at

 

[Crankyshank]

I'm 31, DH is 34 this June and we've been married for 8yrs with no kids yet.
I had young parents and didn't have the best childhood or relationship with my parents because of it and I didn't want to have my child go through that. I also wanted to make sure I had time working out my issues and enjoying myself because my childhood and teen years were spent being much more responsible than they should have been.

We're just at the point now where we feel practically ready to have kids although DH is having concerns because he works so much and is afraid he won't be there for his child growing up. Hopefully it will settle down soon and we'll probably start TTC in the next 18-24 months.