When a loved one dies....

[donkortajr]

On September 29th, my wife of 19 yrs passed away after only a 3 month battle with lung cancer. She was only 40, and it was much quicker than I ever expected. She left me with our 4 beautiful children ages 11,12,16,18.

We always loved Disney together and tried to make it to Walt Disney World every 2 years. During our October 2008 trip we purchased our DVC points in Bay Lake Tower. The next summer we spent a week at SSR to use the free builder points they had given us. In February 2011 we spent a week in a BLT Grand Villa with another family we brought. Little did I know it would be our last trip together.

In the past, whenever I read trip reports, news stories, etc about Disney I got all excited and would start planning our next trip. Now all it does is make me sad. I know in time this will pass, but it is a strange feeling to think of Disney and become sad. My wife's desire was to be cremated. Besides the large urn which sets in our dining room, I also have a small keepsake urn of ashes. At some point in the future, this small urn will travel to WDW with the children and I in order to spread a little of the ashes at each of the 4 parks. Then she will always be there when we visit.

 

[vicki_c]

I'm very sorry for your loss. I hope, in time, that you will be able to enjoy Disney remembering how much your wife enjoyed spending time there with you and your children - that it will be a nice memory for all of you.

 

[RweTHEREyet]

I am so sorry for your loss. I know you and your children will miss her terribly.

Be prepared for people to jump in and tell you that you can't scatter her ashes around WDW, that it isn't legal. It may not be legal, but it happens all the time.

 

[donkortajr]

Regarding the ashes, yes, I know it isn't legal but my son and I have already been discussing ways to get them in. No one will ever know.

 

[Nancy F]

I think that will be a beautiful way to honor her memory. My prayers go out to you and your children. I hope you will be able to make more happy memories with them that you can add to the ones you had with your wife. And that you can again find happiness there. I'm sure that's what she would want for you and the kids.
Blessings,
Nancy

 

[jennypenny]

I'm so sorry.

My father died during our first stay at Boardwalk. Eventually you do move on (but we don't stay at BW anymore). You'll find a way to make different memories there.

 

[disneyfanbcv]

So sorry for your loss.

 

[twinklebug]

I'm so sorry for your and your children's loss. I also joined in Fall of 2008 and know how fast the time has flown since then. I'm sure you and your kids have many wonderful memories of your wife and their mom with you in Disney that will be unveiled in the years to come. Hang in there, I have a strong feeling the loss of her is just too new to reflect and see the bright side. We can see you love her very much, you always will... it's normal for it to take time to set in.

As for bringing some of her ashes to WDW, I have no complaint - I think it's a wonderful idea, it's natural and it sounds like you have an excellent sense of what is proper.

Again, huge hugs from me to you and all your kids.

 

[joelnkelly]

Regarding the ashes, yes, I know it isn't legal but my son and I have already been discussing ways to get them in. No one will ever know.

I am truly sorry for your loss, I just read you story and it actually welled my eyes up. I cant imagine the pain and sorrow your family is going through right now but you can bet she is smiling down on you guys and watching. I think the spreading of some of her ashes at disney is a great idea. just dont do it while riding space mountain, probably wont be a very plesant experience for the riders behind you. ( i hope that didnt offend you, i little levity in these times are needed)

 

[cj9200]

So sorry to hear of your loss.

DD's mom and my ex passed away after a long debilitating illness in January 2010. Her last trip was in December 08. We knew then that would be her last visit to Disney so we had that trip to make special. Like me, she was nuts for WDW and that love passed to my daughter.

DD and I have since gone back multiple times. We purposely relived some of my wife's favorites celebrating the memories we had as a family. Disney was a way for us to remind us of those times and it was also a distraction from everyday life.

Time has lessened the sadness but it will never go away. Enjoy your future trips to Disney. It is a great way to remember her and build new family memories.

 

[happyrebster]

I am so sorry for your loss. My father passed away recently and, oddly, one of the first things I did shortly thereafter was to add on more points. DVC has always been a way for us to enjoy vacations with extended family - and those times with family are even more important to me now.

I hope you and your family can find peace. And enjoy each others company on future vacations.

 

[MinnieGi]

I'm so so sorry for your loss. I like your idea of spreading her ashes in all the four parks. That will be a very emotional WDW trip, but I'm sure also filled with so many good memories of your wife and pass family trips to the World.

 

[AKLFan3]

I am so sorry for your loss. I think your plan is very touching and meaningful.

 

[granmanh603]

I am sorry for your loss, I think that your wife would want you to remember the happy times you had there together and want you to have more...I have asked my children to sprinkle me around Disney too...that way they will have happy thoughts not sad one...and she is there with you too.

 

[AnnaS]

I am so sorry for your loss

 

[Inkmahm]

I think that will be a beautiful way to honor her memory. My prayers go out to you and your children. I hope you will be able to make more happy memories with them that you can add to the ones you had with your wife. And that you can again find happiness there. I'm sure that's what she would want for you and the kids.
Blessings,
Nancy

I agree with this. Someday my own ashes will be at Disney, too.

I'm also glad you had a chance to build happy memories at Disney with your family before your wife's early passing. I was fortunate enough to be able to take my parents in 2001 and 2002. My dad died in 2004 from cancer. I still think of him every single time I see the Wishes fireworks display, and many other times as I walk through the parks.

I've continued to take my mom with us as often as I can so that her grandchildren (my nieces and nephew) also have many great memories of Disney with their grandmother. I know the day will come when mom won't be with us any longer, too. But all those trips with her and the memories we have will be priceless.

Best of luck to you and your children. Hopefully planning for Disney will be a happy experience for you soon.

 

[Meriweather]

I'm so sorry for your loss

DH and I have discussed the scattering of ashes at Disney also. There is always a way

I'm sure your family will find all the joy in Disney again

 

[ccgirl]

I just wanted to say I am very sorry for your loss. I wish for strength for you and your 4 wonderful children. This story definitely brought tears to my eyes as your youngest is around my DD's age. I have also read stories of a balloon release with a note inside. I wish you many years more of happy memories at DVC with your children.

 

[rentayenta]

Regarding the ashes, yes, I know it isn't legal but my son and I have already been discussing ways to get them in. No one will ever know.

I'm very sorry for your family's loss.


I have always told DH that if I die before him, I want part of my ashes in the Pacific Ocean and the other on Main St in Disneyland. It's a beautiful gesture. We all grieve in our own way.

 

[nickspace]

I am very sorry for your loss.

You may want to consider a more permanent marker so you have a place to visit. I wonder if they still offer the engraved paver stones like the ones outside of Magic Kingdom.