What's the etiquette on returning phone calls?

[DeterminedOne]

If someone tries to call and you don't answer - but they don't leave a message is it proper etiquette to call them back? Do you take the position that if they really wanted something they would have left a message?

I have tried to call someone three times this week and they don't answer the phone and no VM picks up so I can't leave a message. They haven't called me back and I know they can see three missed calls from me (cell phone.) I'm really annoyed they won't call me back - I think it's kind of rude.
Starting to get the impression they really don't want to talk to me. What's the etiquette for calling someone back? How do you handle the situation?

 

[MushyMushy]

And you're sure they're home? And checking the caller ID? Because I can tell you, I never check my caller ID OR my voicemails. Some of us just hate talking on the phone that much.

 

[Christine]

Would the recognize your number?

All my phones have a voice mail so I've never run into this, but I if I see a number that I don't recognize on my cell phone caller ID and I don't have a voice mail, I won't call it back.

 

[minnieandme]

If I don't recognize the number, I won't answer. If it's someone that I know and they don't leave a message, I do call them back when I have the time to talk.

 

[momof3disneyholics]

If it is someone I know I call them back and ask what they wanted, if it isn't someone I know or a number I don't recognize, I just wait to see if they call back.

 

[daannzzz]

I am one of those who belevies phones have become disruptive in our lives. If someone does not leave a message there is no need to call back even if you can see that they called. If you can not leave a message but think they can see that you called and they do not call back, then they don't want to talk to you for now and will call when they do.
Don't be slaves to the phone!!!!

 

[mommasita]

I have call display, but no answering machine. Anyone who I want to talk to has my cellular number, and can reach me at any time, as I am almost never home at night...

I don't return the calls at home unless it is my Mother, or I would never hear the end of that one

Maybe they are not home...Block out your number and try

 

[disneyfav4ever]

If someone I know calls me, I pick up if I can. If they don't leave a message, I do have voice mail, I assume it wasn't important, and they just wanted to chat. If it's a number I don't recognize, I don't pick up. But if they leave a message, I'll check it right away if I'm not busy, and call back right away if I can.

DF knows this, and once he couldn't get his phone to work, so he borrowed someones to call me, I didn't pick up, he left a message saying to call that number if I got that message in the next two minutes and I called him right back.

 

[EthansMom]

You may have called the wrong number or the phone may be turned off.

I wouldn't assume that someone was going to call me back if I hadn't left a message.

 

[kaytieeldr]

I have a telephone for MY convenience, not for that of anyone trying to call me.

I have a sibling who (claims to) always have the ringer turned off and can't tell when it's me calling. Oh. Wait. Maybe it's intentional...

Anyway, I especially don't feel that a number displayed on Caller ID obligates me to try to contact the caller.

 

[Christine]

Seems odd, though, that a cell phone (even if turned off) wouldn't have a voice mail service.

 

[juligrl]

Could their phone be lost? Do they have their voice mailbox even set up?

 

[pozey]

For the original question – if someone I know – a friend, relative, or co-worker – calls me but doesn’t leave a message, I will generally call them back. But if it is someone I don’t know or don’t know real well, I probably won’t call them back – if it is important, they will call me back.

Now………some questions for the OP………..is the person you are trying to call a relative or close friend? Is it someone you talk to often? Is the phone number you are trying to call a cell phone or home phone?

Now, some theories……..

If it is a home-based land line………
1. They don’t have an answering machine.
2. They have dial-up internet. Sometimes when you have dial up internet, the phone will not ring and the number will not show up as missed calls on caller ID.
3. They simply don’t have caller ID.
4. If they do have caller ID, for some reason your number may come across as “Out of Area” or “Unknown Caller” or something similar to that.
Those are just a few thoughts.

 

[Keli]

I can't see any missed calls while my phone is out of range for a cell tower (here in the boonies that's fairly frequently) so if someone doesn't leave a message then I won't ever know they called. I do have my voicemail set up but I have a friend who has had her cell for 2 years or so and still doesn't have hers set up.

 

[ducklite]

If I don't want to talk to them, I dont pick up, and I don't return their calls no matter how often they try to reach me. People eventually take the hint and go away.

Also if I do'nt recognize a number on my home phone I don't answer it. I'd say there are 20 people on the earth I've given it to, and if it's someone trying to sell me something I'm not wasting the air to tell them no.

I did answer when "Fort Knox" appeared on the caller ID. It was the Army trying to recruit DS. He was still sleeping and I went in and woke him up and told him the US Army was on the phone looking for him. You've never seen someone wake up so fast in your life!

Anne

 

[believe]

I typically don't call back unless I have something I want to talk to the person about. I do call my dad because he never leaves a message and knows I will call him once I see he has called. I wouldn't make assumptions about them being able to see your number.

 

[pearlieq]

If it's important they would have left a message. I don't call back if I just see a missed call.

I actually get a tad annoyed when people call me back just because they saw me call, even if I didn't leave a message. Usually when I don't leave a message it's because I was calling about something here & now ("Hey, I'm in the middle of a recipe and I just realized I'm out of baking soda...") or because I realized I misdialed.

 

[zulaya]

Just because you have Caller ID, doesn't mean everyone does. Now most cell phones do, but are you certain you are calling a cell?

I ALWAYS answer the phone if I can get there before it goes to voicemail. That's the phone etiquette I was taught. I don't believe in ignoring when people call ~ they called for a reason, even if it is just to chat.

Maybe the rest of you have people calling you all the livelong day, but not everyone does. If you think you have telemarketers calling you and that's why you don't pick up, then consider getting a service like No Solicitation on your phone line. I have that on my line and telemarketers by law can't punch through.

As far as "out of area" or "unknown", I guess I don't understand why you are all afraid of these calls? Are you simply afraid that it is a telemarketer? If so, see solution above.

Some people have their phone line blocked, so it shows up as "Unknown" and they don't know how it got that way. My mom is a case in point. She's not sure what she did, but that's how it shows up on my cell. So when "Unknown" calls, it's always my mom.

OP, I'm with you in that people seem rude nowadays. One poster mentioned not wanting to be a slave to their phone. No one said you had to. I always ask when I call someone, "Is this a good time?" because I don't know if they are making dinner, getting ready to head out the door, etc. If they are busy, they tell me. It's not like I'll continue to talk their heads off if they are busy at the moment.

I especially hate when people use Caller ID to decide if they want to talk to you or not. When I got my first cell, I called my sister-in-law to tell her the number. She didn't answer. She called back later to say she didn't recognize the number on the Caller ID and didn't know who it was. That's why you answer the phone - to see who it is.

Sorry, I'm just tired of people not being polite in just answering their phone. Take steps to eliminate telemarketers if you've been stalked by them, but have a little common courtesy and pick up the phone when I call. And then if you decide you never want me to call again, just say it to me over the phone, instead of not returning phone calls, hoping to get the message across. Just hit me right between the eyes; I'm a big girl, I can handle it. Can you handle being an adult and saying that to me?

Off my soapbox now...can tell phone etiquette ticks me off?

 

[cybrkitn]

You may have called the wrong number or the phone may be turned off.

I wouldn't assume that someone was going to call me back if I hadn't left a message.

Or it could have been they had called the wrong number. I have a business cell phone at my desk at work. It gets used only as a push-to-talk to get in touch with our facilities person when deliveries arrive. You wouldn't believe how many wrong numbers come through on it (whether I'm here at my desk or not). Sometimes I answer it with our company name and when I do, the person realizes it's the wrong number. Most of the time, though I don't answer it. They even leave voice mails and I don't even have access to retrieve them.

 

[mommasita]

I believe the OP states she USED a cell phone, not that she was CALLING one..